But WAIT! There's more!

It’s what I like to call the lesser of two evils. On the one hand my head is splitting. We’re talking blurred vision the whole shebang. But on the other hand when I put the little mask on to block out the sun and I laid in bed trying to get back to sleep…the pain that the thoughts going on in my brain were producing was almost more impairing then the headache. Thus I blog…

So, I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but today marks the day that I am suppose to get back on the “We’re moving and there is nothing we can do about it.” Bandwagon and begin the planning and decision making process again but this time a lot calmer and better prepared…Of course, such an occasion couldn’t go unnoticed and so of course Brett delivered yet another informational blow yesterday afternoon to celebrate. ( It should be noted he did not do it on purpose, but I’ve just noticed that these things seem to always coincided with a day where I’ve made such grandiose statements as this one:

To Carmi on the phone: “ I really think I’ve grown, I’m much calmer…I think I’m handling all this better than I’ve dealt with past changes, I think I’m relying on God a lot more…”

Anyway, so Brett tells me in the car on the way to a Mariners Baseball game ( it was the first time we’d been able to talk all day…I promise the bad timing couldn’t be helped…in fact, it’ll probably just make the tv movie of our lives more entertaining.) that he’d found out that the army has made his new orders in such a way that they’re actually making his new permanent orders station Kuwait, Afghanistan and his TEMPARARY duty station Fort Riley , Kansas…what does all this mean, you ask? Wellllll, basically it just means that THIS way they can dispose of those pesky things called families ( i.e. me) and when Brett reports to Riley, he’ll also be reporting to a nice little barracks room to be shared with some other dude. Afterall, its not like it “permanent”. So, this basically means that my choices in moving to Kansas are now very bleak indeed. #1. I’ll have to find some temporary place to live. By myself. In the hopes of seeing Brett on weekends and possibly for a few hours in the evenings ( but we all know how likely that is.) #2 Thus I probably wont get to see Brett very much. #3 I can’t think of a number three right now. My head hurts.

Thus the nice sounding “Brett’s only going to be deployed for 12 months” shows its true colors that most likely I will be without my husband for SIXTEEN. But, with four months of those disguising themselves behind the guise of “training in Riley”. To be perfectly honest with you-it’s one of my worst nightmares….its my number one lesson I’d want to tell newly married army wives about…the fact, that even when you’re supposedly getting time with your husband-he’s still not really YOURS. Looking back the first two ( or three) months of our marriage were the worst because I kept forgetting this fact, I kept being surprised and upset every time Brett wouldn’t get home from work until 10 + at night, or when he’d be gone for two weeks at a time, or called into work on a Saturday…whatever the case I was always indignant…how could they SAY that what was happening to us was the BEST case scenario?! But, here we are again…and this time I see the future flashing before my eyes…me in Kansas without a job or any friends or roots….living basically for the moments I get to spend with my husband who’s about to go off to war for a year…and therefore when I find out at the last minute that he’ll be working late ( which will definitely happen) or that he’s working on a Saturday ( most likely) or that they’re doing some training off somewhere for a week ( I would bet on it.)…I will have even LESS to fall back on than I did here in Washington. No job. No friends. No ministry work. Nada.

I suppose you could say that we’ve stepped it up a notch. The question is: can I rely on Christ, trust Him, rely on Him, be calm …all these things in ALL circumstances?!

Of course, right now every thing is bleak. But, I am looking forward to seeing how God sorts out the plot line of this episode of All my Children ( the Brett and Abigail version)….will I find some nice family or old people to live with in Kansas while I’m waiting around for Brett ? Will we be able to sort out different living arrangements on Fort Riley? Will I wake up and find out that I’m really Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz and its all a dream? Whatever the case, there is SO much material for God to work with here that is pretty much brilliant-He’s going to be glorified some how….I look forward to seeing the end results.

other things to talk about.

so, i could totally tell you more about my sickly woes. but, they're annoying and there isnt too much I know for sure...so instead we'll talk about more interesting things like the weird dream I had last night:

It seems Brett and I decided to throw a second wedding, I kept getting lost, I was really hot, my wedding dress didnt fit, all the bridesmaids left without telling me to go buy ugly clashing red bowling bags, Emma's face swelled up because she was nervous and so I was afraid she wasnt going to walk down the aisle, everyone walked down the wrong aisle ( it was one of those three aisled churches) and then I couldnt seem to stand next to Brett....

it was weird.


In other news today I'm making muffins...chocolate muffins....with chili pepper in them. I'm excited. I'm also excited about the muffins Amy is making ( same basic muffin, different added ingredient) and I'm pretty sure the added espresso is going to be better than the chili...but whatever, its not a competition...or IS it? ;-)

I am also hopefully talking to Lydia today-especially since we havent talked since she visited MONTHS ago and since she's most likely moving to Seattle next year and so there's tons to talk about :-)

I'm also going to hopefully take care of the Stroud kids this afternoon before bible study since its Andrew's birthday today and I figure they deserve a grownup meal with some friends of theirs who are coming into town, without having four children to worry about the whole time.

Right now I'm drinking a reeeeeally yummy latte. I'm going to be so sad when I can't make myself a free drink every day. *sigh* this job has really been so great. I am thinking about researching home espresso machines with the steam wand and everything...it would definitely be a fun thing to have in my house! I could make people anything they wanted! I think it would definitely add to the "house ministry" ;-) hehehe...I know I'd feel more welcome in my house if I could order a double tall latte.

Fragile: Handle with Care

So, sometimes I really, really hate myself. And before you get all bent out of shape over that statement...let me explain. Today I woke up with this familiar twinge in my side...not the "Im-going-to-die-unless-I-get-serious-drugs-soon" kinda pain...but the definite Not-Happy kind...the kind that I'd been feeling for about a week leading up to the kidney stone incident. To say the least, I was not having a good morning-but THEN....

I'm standing at work, about to text brett a reminder about a task I needed him to do for me ( call the bank please!) and as I'm holding my phone, it rings...

Me: "Hello?"
Person: "Hi! This is Doctor Russian Name, I am a Urologist here at Madigan and I'm calling in regards to your visit to the emergency room several weeks ago. How is your kidney stone?"
Me: "Funny you should call, because actually while my right side seems to be back to normal, my LEFT side is feeling kind of suspect today!"
Doctor Russian Name: Oh, that's because you have a stone on that side too...

THANKS FOR MENTIONING THAT TO ME EARLIER!!!!!


But, at least i know I'm not a making it up-which some times I worry that I am. ( you never know...crazy people never know they are crazy, right?)

And isnt it all good of God to have the nice russian doctor call me today? I feel much better now that I'm going to have another CT taken....until then I'm back on the tried and true Abigail Lifestyle of drinking water and peeing.

It's been ages...

It has been SUCH a long time since I've been tagged on one of these things...but fabulously enough it DOES happen every so often! ;-) ( Thanks Angela!)

1. The rules of the game get posted at the beginning.
2. Each player answers the questions about themselves.
3. At the end of the post, the player then tags five people and posts their names, then goes to their blogs and leaves them a comment, letting them know they’ve been tagged and asking them to read the player’s blog.
4. Let the person who tagged you know when you’ve posted your answer.

WHAT WERE YOU DOING 5 YEARS AGO:
1. Finishing up another semester at the University of Otago... procrastinating from writing essays to be exact.
2. Watching a friend find Jesus Christ for the first time. ( Thida is coming up on being five year old very soon!!)
3. Getting ready for my friend Amy to come visit me for my mid-year break.
4. Travelled around New Zealand with my family, showing the country I'd grown to love.

FIVE THINGS ON YOUR TO-DO LIST TODAY? (Since I'm about to go to bed...I'll do this for tomorrow)
1. Hang out with Courtney
2. Go for a run.
3. Work at the coffee shop, of course.
4. Send in our last car payment EVER! ( YAAAAAAY!!!)
5. Hang out with Brett

FIVE SNACKS YOU ENJOY?:
1. Multigrain cheerios
2. Sour gummy worms
3. Strawberries and heavenly cream dip
4. Baked Lays BBQ chips
5. Pickles from work ( don't laugh until you've had one!)

FIVE THINGS YOU WOULD DO IF YOU WERE A BILLIONAIRE:
1. Give lots of presents to deserving friends :-)
2. Tithe
3. Buy a house
4. Travel
5. Save for the future.

FIVE OF YOUR BAD HABITS?:
1. I bite my nails.
2. I don't punctuate or edit my blog well.
3. Procrastination, especially with cleaning bathrooms and vacuuming.
4. eating too much.
5. Saying too much.

FIVE PLACES WHERE YOU'VE LIVED:
1. Nacogdoches Texas: With my parents
2. Dunedin, New Zealand: University College
3. Dunedin, New Zealand: Carrington Hall
4. Nacogdoches Texas: With Katie, all by myself
5. Lakewood, Washington: With Brett

FIVE JOBS YOU'VE HAD:
1. Waitress at Pinecreek Lodge
2. Resident Assistant ( House Tutor) at Carrington Hall
3. Radiology Assistant for Anchor Radiology
4. PR for Nacogdoches High School Alumni Association
5. Barista for Lacoste Coffee


TAG YOU'RE IT!:
Let's see....hardly anyone blogs anymore these days :-(

Carmi: My dearest friend who I admire so much, laugh with so much, and wish to see so much...

Amy: Whom I have loved getting to know the past few months and who I can truly call a kindred spirit in so many ways...

Paul: Who apparently only weights 138 pounds, and yet whom I am still friends with...

Thida: Because I just thought about her while reading my blog from 2003!

Sam: Because I just remembered his birthday is coming up very soon! ( and I doubt he even reads this anymore.)

The big bang theory.

So, the four day weekend started out with silence. Utter silence. Very rarely am I left completely without words-usually I'm pretty quick when it comes to encouraging words ( and if that doesnt work I make inappropriate jokes) but when Brett came home with despair in his voice telling me that his platoon was being taken away from him as early as next week ( instead of what he had hoped for which was that he'd get to keep it until we actually left). I honestly had no words. Although, I'm pretty sure there arent words that can help sad moments like that. Just hugs.

Anyway, as I sit here watching Brett play the Wii...I think he's doing better...I think its hard for people to really understand just how much Brett loved(s) his men in his platoon....but I know that God has more people for him to affect, more people for him to meet and to be a part of their lives...its just hard right now.

Lucky we did have this long weekend, though. It came at just the right time. We had some nice weather which meant picnics and long walks and a visit to the drive-in theatre ( totally cool by the way....too bad its 9:45 before it even BEGINS to get dark in Washington...it means to see any movie you have to stay up past the wilson bedtime.)...we also bought New Zealand Ginger Beer ( no alcohol in these!) and made Dark and Stormies ( but there is in these!)...I made a pie and we had Indian food with friends, Sushi with other friends and I gained another three pounds.... awesome( three real awesomes and one sarcastic one). We also took a trip to the Brett and Abigail place-of-happiness which is Half Price Books ( which was having its 20 % off everything Memorial Day sale..). I think it would have been possible for the two of us to have married people that DIDNT like books as much as we do, but its a DEFINITE plus!

Sneaky

Memorial Day weekend has officially snuck up on me. Which, I think, is probably a good thing-otherwise I would have made lots of plans for the weekend and it would end up not being that relaxing....and relaxing is what Brett really needs right now.

Four days that are unplanned....why! That's just glorious!


The other thing that is sneaking up on me is June. Time is just flying by these days....I'm just grasping at it as it slips through my fingers-I just hope we're living it up like we should. *sigh*

Turns out I'm not as talkative as I thought...

exhausted

So, I just got home...and I've flopped down here to check my email ( for the first time today!? SHOCKING!!!) because, lets face it, my legs are TIRED and my brain is TIRED and its been QUITE the day....

First of all, I broke up with my boss. Its so hard to break up with someone-even if it IS because of the Army, " Its not you...its not me...its the ARMY!" ...Anyway, I've been putting off telling my boss about Brett and I leaving because ( or at least I thought) I wanted to make sure we had some solid info to go on, and because I wanted to tell him to his face...but then, time passed and I never crossed paths with him, and Brett got his orders yesterday and so today I picked up the phone and called him...I talked fast...AlexIhatetotellyoubutBrettsbeensenttoKansaswe'releavinginJulyI'msosorrymaybeI'llcomeback....Anyway, it was awful. So awful, in fact, that at the end-when he was able to get a word in edgewise-he was like, "well you got that out of the way!" as if He could absolutely tell that I was NOT happy about telling him about leaving.
Because I'm not.
And it turns out I had put off telling my boss not for all those "practical" reasons but because, In the end, it made it very very real that this season of my life-the Barista at Lacoste-season is going to be over. Very sad. I really wanted to watch chick-flicks and eat brownie batter and ice-cream out of the container right afterwards...

Today, I went to the Air force base commissary....and now I'm totally kicking myself that I had not gone sooner! For one thing its waaaay closer ( and when gas hits 4 dollars like it did today...that's important) and for another thing-I havent done ANY research on this-but I think the AF pays a LOT more attention to its "dependents"....Their commissary had GIANT aisle, it had frozen ravioli, it had buttermilk and half and half ( for some reason they are always out at Army) it had an EVEN larger foreign foods section, it had a HUGE fresh sea foods section, and at the ( high traffic at the army commissary) time of 4:30 it was hardly full at all....in fact, it was a DREAM. So, yeah, from now on I'm ALL OVER the air force. Oh, and I also went to their PX...and it was like being in a super wal-mart with less people in it and even cheaper prices ( oh, and no tax)...it was glorious.

... I just got a call from Brett and he's on the way home....so I really SHOULD pull myself out of this sitting position and make dinner.....Chuck's coming over for dinner so I don't think leftovers are going to cut it tonight. ;-)

The Life and Times:

I havent written in a few days so I felt like you deserved an update ( I'm sure not knowing what's going on with me has just been KILLING you!)

Saturday ( which was the last day I wrote) turned out MUCH better than my morning blog post could have ever imagined: It was BEAUTIFUL outside, I baked a pie in the morning, had a picnic in the midafternoon with Brett ( he finally got back from work) and Mike and Katie, saw Prince Caspian in the late afternoon and went to Eric's going away party in the evening...all were made extra glorious by the fact that I was totally warm the whole time. :-)

Sunday there was church and a very long wait at a random Soul Food restaurant called Southern Kitchen in Tacoma-where I decided once and for all that my tummy doesnt like greasy food ( this includes anything from a fastfood chain other than Sonic, mexican food, and anything from a Breakfast place like IHOP or Dennys ) I mean, dont get me wrong I definitely eat these bad foods anyway...my tummy will just be mad later.

Actually, my tummy is mad right now-although I have no idea why....I made A-MAZING greek chicken last night which I ate over fresh spinach and Brett ate over pasta...I WOULD think that the five hours that the chicken cooked wasnt enough...but Brett's tummy didnt hurt...so meh. Who knows?! I'm probably just due for a new sickness....

But here's some exciting news that's not revolving around my health or lack thereof: An old friend of Brett and mine, Dustin Aguilar has published a children's book! "Harvard Heart of Gold" arrived yesterday in the mail and I've read the first two chapters which were totally delightful :-) It was also delightful that I was at work and the mail lady came in to deliver the mail and said, "Oh! I have a package for you too, should I just give it to you now?!"

There is something really nice about living in a community where your mail lady knows who you are and gives you packages even when you arent at home...

just another day...

So, last night I cancelled all plans and made Brett go to bed really early. He's been sick for the past two days but is refusing to take it as easy as I would like-so I figured "weekend=my chance to MAKE HIM get better".....annnnnyway, at 8am this morning he starts yelling and scrambling around because apparently he'd missed several phonecalls telling him to report to work at 8am this morning because of....who knows what.

He said he could be there all day. I still have no idea what any of this means.

So much for Saturday being MY chance to be controlling over Brett's life....the army already called dibs on the whole thing :-P

And to think I cancelled the CHEESE FESTIVAL for me to sit around in my PJs....and Brett to be at work! BOO!

And then God said, "LISTEN! FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE!!!"

So, as I said yesterday I’d given off trying to read into things, or figure out what God wants us to do regarding moving until I’ve spent just a leeedle more time praying about it and reading the Bible with this move in mind. Afterall, the bad mood I got into every time I started to imagine staying in Washington, or imagine moving to Kansas long term…or anything else daydreaming style…it all kind of clued me in on the fact that I was doing the WRONG. THING. Of course, I then read this* during my quiet time this afternoon and I was like, YEEEEEAH….sounds about right. Why don’t I stop and listen more often?! Why is this lesson so hard to learn?!

*Isaiah 30-“Woe to the rebellious children, declares the Lord, who executes a plan, but not Mine, and makes alliances, but not of my Spirit…who proceeds down to Egypt without consulting me…(9)For this is a rebellious people, false sons, sons who refuse to listen to the instruction of the Lord…(15) “In repentance and rest you will be saved. In quietness and trust is your strength.” ( 19) He will surely be gracious to you at the sound of your cries, when He hears it, He will answer you….(20) Your eyes will behold your Teacher..(21) your ears will hear a word behind you, “This is the way, walk in it; whenever you turn to the right or to the left.”

Positive things:

1. my new invented drink: The Snickerdoodle ( it basically tastes like the drink version of these cookies).

2. This website that gives you a breakdown in CHART FORM (!!) of all the nutrition facts you eat in a day!

3. Prince Caspian comes out in the theaters this weekend!!!

4. I am going to Seattle's Cheese Festival on Saturday.

5. Its suppose to be 84 degrees in Seattle on Saturday!

6. Next weekend is Memorial Day weekend and I want Brett to take me to this Drive-in Movie Theatre...

7. I've decided that Brett and I do not have to decide about our futures until May 31st ( that'll give me another few days with him after that-before he leaves for the field just in case there are things that HE has to do to make preparations ( whatever they are) and then it'll give me three weeks while he's gone to get things ready. I'm really glad I just made this deadline for myself because A) I like structure. B) It was stressing me out. C) Procrastination is my middle name.

8. We went and watched the Stroud kids play baseball and T-ball ( respectively) last night...it was awesome and a great flashback to my own childhood of watching little league games ( minus the sweltering heat and sweat that Texas Little League has)

9. Brett and I watched ( Chuck was there too but he fell asleep almost immediately) Lady and the Tramp last night. ALWAYS a classic! ALWAYS.

10. Season 5 of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Awesome.

Big Fat BOO!

I'm not in a pleasant mood. Maybe its the fact that its in the 50s and cloudy and the weather told me that it was going to be in the HIGH 70s and kinda sunny. OR maybe its the fact that I am trying to start to figure out Brett and my future and yet I still have NO IDEA what that means exactly...

I am tired of not knowing.

Happy blog later.

mythical person

I need a person. You know, someone who knows everything about everything? I'd totally ask them all my questions...all those army questions that I have no idea who to ask...things like...

How do you get reimbursed for moving?
What's temporary living in Kansas like? How do we get it?
How do I get storage here in Washington?
Will they pay to move my stuff later when we move again when Brett gets back?

I have other questions too....

Anyway, I'm trying to look things up on the internet because there should SO be a website with these answers...but WHERE?!

Boo.

In other news, I'm getting my nails done with Genevieve and Amy today ( Yay!)- Genevieve's hubby comes home from Afghanistan tomorrow so we're making sure her day is full to the brim today ( oh, and that she has pretty nails)...

terrible.

I'm horribly selfish....today was my mother's birthday as well as mother's day...and yet it is ME that is the one that is practically in tears that I didnt get to talk to her. I mean, come on. As long as SHE'S happy I should be ok, right?
geez. get over yourself, abigail

Ruby Slippers and other stuff...

Happy Mother's Day!! Today there were TONS of babies at church...mostly because there was a Baby dedication at the end of the service but also because our church has, like, a huge population of young couples with tons of babies....its basically like baby kingdom. I often sit in church and look at the babies in front of me ( looking at me over their parent/grandparent shoulder and I think, "Wow, arent they the cutest thing?!"

But then reality sets in and I remember why I am not having a child any time soon....for one thing I'd like to be pregnant during a time when I have a husband around to rub my feet and go get ice-cream whenever ( I'm sure he'd do this now...he's quite the fan of icecream) and not off trampsing around Afghanistan....among other reasons. ;-)

Anyway, I am however very happy that I know so many wonderful mothers who inspire me and encourage me on a daily basis...and I'm ALSO very happy to know many women who have given their lives in other ways other than motherhood-their encouragement, wisdom as well as courage has also inspired me. Basically, girl power all around :-)

In other news, its sunny today...and I'm hoping upon hope that the forecast for this coming Thursday that read High: 87...was NOT a misprint. ( whoa! How awesome and happy would that make life?!)

I'm also glad we got to spend some time with Chuck and Bethany this weekend, sometimes it just is too awful to think that life is going to change and not have these people around us all the time. But, I'm starting to see the importance of having a "spiritual heads up" when it comes to bad things....its definitely making me appreciate the calm before the storm all the more.

12 hours ago....

Actually, more like 13... but at 6 am-ish I woke up with this horrible cramp in my side...and I was like, "Ow." and then I said, "Oh No." out loud. To which Brett said, "What's wrong?" ( In a fog of sleep) to which I replied...

"I think I have a kidney stone."


After that, Brett went back to sleep for like a whole minute while I laid there writhing in pain until I finally went ahead and admitted to myself that, yes, this really was happening again ( last count this was my fourth trip to the emergency room for a kidney stone) ...and so I woke Brett up again and told him that Kidney Stones required Emergency Room Time...( which he informed me just now he didnt quite understand...)

Which is how I spent most of the day drugged, half of the day on a gurney the other half in my bed...but I'm pretty sure the Kidney Stone is gone...which is the one "good" thing about those pesky stones is they can leave relatively quickly.

Anyway, it wasnt the best day ever. I missed a girlie breakfast with some friends....oh yeah, and the pain thing too.

BLAH! I have the worst luck.

Pride, or something

This week is some sort of special "week" at Fort Lewis, basically lots of competitions and showing off of skills-its made for some crazy schedules for everyone. And today *I* get to go for a BBQ at Brett's company. So I'm trying to put on my "pretty wife face"...but I just had a customer tell me that I looked "tired" so I'm thinking the two seconds I took to put on mascara was a total waste. Blah.
It's also cold so I need more clothes if I'm going to be all "picnic-y" this afternoon...

In other news, I thought I'd remind you of the important issues at hand-especially since time is very quickly going by and soon time will be up...I'm starting to get a clearer mind of what's coming in the next six months or so...basically it came from something lydia said to me while she was visiting and I feel like it was very wise:

"I think whatever job you decide to do while Brett's gone-you should make sure it contributes to your overall goals for your life. For instance, your job as a barista has taught you more about being hospitable and serving which will further contribute to you and Brett's desire to have a home that is open to people that you can minister to..."

Anyway, I've taken this piece of advice one step further and using it in helping me decide where to live-and I'm getting kind of excited about a few prospects for next year....there are definitely some things I could do that might just help ME to get better prepared for our future-things that I feel Brett has already experienced to some degree....Anyway, I know I'm being cryptic-but we're still in the praying stage, but I just wanted to share the fact that I feel encouraged that the heaven's have not been as silent and shut as I thought they might be ;-) show's my little faith doesnt it?! hehehe

Somebody shoot me. I dont feel good....But, I'm thinking my flintstone vitamins have been working-since its definitely been at LEAST a month since I've been to the doctor. :-P


In other news, I think it is only natural that I leave washington soon...I mean, afterall my last year in New Zealand I had to have a social calendar around my neck to keep track of my "coffee" dates...and then when I left Texas the second time it was quite similar...and this week I've got FIVE girl dates. sweet. But apparently too good to last. Looks like its time for me to head back into "I've got no friends" category. Although, Brett reminded me this morning during our prayer time how just a few months ago we were praying for God to give me some good girl friends so God HAS answered prayers and I'm sure he'll do it again. :-)

Went and saw Iron Man last night-Totally fun, enjoyed it completely. Recommend it for everyone. And I've got to say after a good 9 years of the Comic Book Movie Craze, I'm still on board.

Answer!

So, my last blog contained non-sentences that described my weekend. That's right, when my life is that busy and I pretty much find myself on my feet for two of the three days I dont have much energy left to write cohesively about it. But, it was a fun time...and i've got pictures waiting on my camera to prove it.

Anyway, as I made out my weekday planner ( as I compulsively do every monday-along with going through the Sunday paper for coupons..WOOOO! Exciting!!!!) I found that my week is oddly relaxed. Strange. This can only mean that it'll end up being crazy, busy.

Yesterday I started to ponder my fears of being "not needed"-which coincidentally is my biggest fear about 2009. This morning I laid in bed from 5:30 to 6:30 getting more and more frightened about the unknown. But, before you start judging me, I'd like to say that I don't care if you do judge me. I dont care if you think you'd handle things so much better than me, or that you'd be a whole lot more thoughtful and reflective and you'd never make inappropriate jokes to get yourself through...well, that's fine. Last night I had the privilege of speaking with the author of The Insider, Mike Shamy ( who is incidentally from New Zealand...which I didnt know until he opened his mouth! Crazy small world!) and one of the things he said really struck me. He was talking about being authentic and honest and that while its important to remember how your words will affect others-its also important to tell your own story-with complete honesty. For the story of our lives is what God has given us-that is our personal witness.

Well folks, I'd like to just go ahead and remind you that that is how I feel about my blog. I will be honest with you-no matter how un-pretty it may seem...because lets face it-life isnt particularly pretty and my walk with Christ is not a one-way street that's paved twice a month and only driven on by laid back sunday-drivers...no, not at all. The thing is, I have the sneaking suspicion that if you're honest with yourself you'll see that your life is pretty crazy too, and while you may not be going through exactly what I'm going through and you ( hopefully) never will...I would like to be an encouragement to you-and if that just means that you think to yourself, "I just want to be better than Abigail."
Than my job here is done.

Annnnyway, so back to my fear of being "unneed"...this is something I had not identified as one of my major failings until this weekend ( or maybe I should say it's been "brought back up" ) so once again...I'm a work in progress. *sigh*

See if you can guess....

Visits to several stores, lots of cooking, cleaning the house, Hawaiian costumes, one awful conversation, a mystery party, me as a murderer, Charlie as a girl, a sleep-in from heaven, Oceans Thirteen, Cupcakes, dips, cinnamon pinwheels, two visits to Albertsons, eggrolls and Thai chicken, decorating, a lingerie party that included a towel and The one where Ross say's Rachel's name, a road trip with no wedding ring, a visit to tulips with the best of friends, a blast from New Zealand and a side of encouragement, talk of the future, talk of movies starting with the letters G, H and I, too much food and laughing till one cries

Thanks George!

Dear Bush Administration,
I'd like to thank you for the United States failing economy, and your decision to boast said economy by putting $1,200 extra dollars into our bank account today. I can't tell you how exciting it is that I can pay off our car loan this summer all because of you ( yeah right) and therefore be totally debt free. I appreciate the fact that I can consider the idea of voting for president in November 2008 and then promptly leave the country and live like a vagabond ( option #47 on the "Live without Brett" list ) without any desire to "boast" the American economy while my husband is off doing a heck of a lot more for our nation than $1,200 could ever do. So thanks again.

Not Yours,
Abigail

where in the world?!

Today is my day off...and I've got a long long list of things to do before the day is up-After all, a weekend of partying takes work!
Anyway, its 10:21 and I'm sitting in my New Zealand hoodie and yoga pants reading blogs-house still dirty, food not prepared, gym unattended, goodwill yet to be visited.

Ah well, what can you do?! Its been a loooonnnnnng mental roller-coaster of a week and I needed that extra four hours of sleep.

In other news, on Wednesday night I had a breakdown of sorts over my bible study, heck over the entire "girls ministry" that I am affectively in charge of ( "should abigail be given such great responsibility?! Abigail thinks not...") The freak out, I still feel, was completely warranted since I felt like everyone and there dogs were unhappy with my "leadership" or whatever you want to call it....so I cried over the box of pizza sitting in my lap ( the one and only problem with Little Caesars is they do not deliver) while Brett spoke encouraging words ( and probably true ones) at my unwilling-to-hear ears and then I prayed for the whole day following. In fact, I prayed so hard, and I was so worried about it- that poor Amy was forced to work with an Abigail Zombie all day on Thursday. ( mental note: The next time I want to have a "Day with God"-do it on your day off.)
But, I dont think I have to tell you that God came through and while I still dont feel like anyone should ever put me in charge of anyone, I am a hundred and fifty percent ready to try my hand at Girl Leading. Of course, on the outside it probably doesn't look any different from the day before-but I suppose one needs to have a good "I cant do this" breakdown so that God can really and truly take the reins.
Of course, I'm still a bit in wonderment about why I'd have such a breakdown in the middle of the much larger issues of the day that are still entitled "What will Abigail do while Brett is deployed?!"
I suppose God felt like two major stresses was better than one.

Luckily, last night's bible study might has well have been a speech directed entirely at me-it was that relevant to my decision making process...So I am currently thinking hard of a million different possibilities for the future, I have stopped waiting for God to send me a post-it note from heaven ( although, that would be SO helpful!) and I've started just waiting for Peace of heart.

And I'd just like to note that I should be pretty darn good at this by now, since I have faced the Unknown Decision Time in 2002, 2004 and 2007 and so you'd think doing it in 2008 would be sooooOoooOo easy. But, I'm a slow learner. And that just means my book entitled "Where in the World is Abigail Wilson?!" is going to sell millions.