61 days

There will probably be many many posts like this one this week, because honestly since words are insufficient I will just beat them into submission trying to MAKE them sufficient...


BRETT GRADUATES RANGER SCHOOL ON FRIDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Over 60 people prayed ( those are JUST the people I know of!!) . Eight people came to stay with me.  Five people made meals for me. Five people babysat my child 7 different times. I received eight packages in the mail and three cards. Countless facebook messages and some emails and texts too. And then there was all the support that Brett received....

Honestly, there are NO WORDS to describe the love and the support that we've received through this Ranger School process. In fact, blogging is SO insufficient. Here are some of the verses that the Lord blessed me with during these last 8 weeks! 

Is 33:2, O Lord, be gracious to us, we have waited for you. Be their strength every morning, our salvation in time of distress.

Job 23:10-12, But he knows the way that I take when he has tried me, I shall come out as gold. My foot has held fast to his steps; I have kept my way and have not turned aside I have not departed from the commandment of his lip; I have treasured the words of his mouth more than my portion of food. 

Ps 42:8, By day the Lord commands his steadfast love, and at night his song is with me. 

Ps 46:5, God is in the midst of her, she shall not be moved; God will help her when the morning dawns

Job 37:14 Stop and consider the wondrous works of God. Do you know how God lays his commands upon them?

Ps 52:8 I will trust in the steadfast love of the Lord forever and ever. 

Job 42:2 I know you can do all things, and that no purpose of yours can be thwarted. 

Ps 55:16-18, But I call to God and the Lord will save me. Evening, morning and at noon, I utter my complaint and moan, and he heard my voice. 

Ps 55: 22, Cast your burden on the Lord, and he will sustain you, he will never permit the righteous to be moved. 

Ps 56: 3-4, When I am afraid I put my trust in you. In God who's word I praise. In God I trust I shall not be afraid. What can flesh do to me?

Rev 4.11, Worthy are you, Our Lord and God. To receive glory and honor and power, for you created all things, and by your will they exist and were created. 

Ps 66.19, But truly God has listened he has attended to the voice of my prayer. 

Ps 69:12-13, But as for me, my prayer is to you, O Lord, at an acceptable time, O God in the abundance of your steadfast love answer me in your saving faithfulness. Deliver me from sinking in the mire. 

Ps 71:20, YOu who have made me see many troubles and calamities, will revive me again from the depths of the earth you will bring me up again. You will increase my greatness and comfort me again. 

No end in sight

I've been meaning to post for days, but along with having my dearest friend Lindsay here ( why waste time blogging, when she's around?!) and my long lost friend Amy moving in LITERALLY within throwing distance( if you had a good arm) and Bethany returning for Round 2 of her visits... Well..normal days just haven't happened!
But the MAJOR reason there has been no blogging has been the return of Monmy Duties Extreme... Poor baby Ransom has been SERIOUSLY unhappy the last few days, which has made ME seriously unhappy! I'm still not entirely sure what was/is wrong with him ( projectile vomiting, fussiness, not sleeping..) but I'm praying like crazy that the end of it is near.

However, seriously, when I think about it- when I look at the lives of other Moms I know, I'm realizing more and more that you NEVER seem to reach a point of real normalcy.... Something always seems to be coming up to throw a wrench in your plans. I'd like to think that this is 3am talking ( the time that I'm writing this post) but I'm thinking sadly, no. I would, however, at LEAST like ONE WEEK where I feel like my child is sleeping and eating well, followed by ANOTHER WEEK of the same.. That's what I'd like.

Think ahead!

So, when you say something like, "Next week I'm not going to eat any sweets!" you should really think ahead and realize that on Tuesday you're going to have to take your son to the doctor and realize that the ONLY WAY to recover from that is ice cream.

I think the worst thing about the whole affair is that I think so much of Ransom's distress could have been prevented. Like, they could have been running on time and so my carefully planned out schedule that I made JUST FOR TODAY so that Ransom would be fed and awake would work. But NO...instead, Ransom was already dosing and fussy and really really needing a nap by the time the annoying lady came to give him his shots. And THEN she had to NOT have her act together and gave him one shot...and then waited forever doing WHO KNOWS WHAT while she got the other one ready...and my sweet little boy had already screamed and calmed himself back down. So this meant that with the second shot he was HYSTERICAL! She also gave him the liquid medicine first...the sweet stuff that probably would have helped calm him down from his Annoying Woman Induced screams, BUT NO.

And THEN...THEN they made us wait in the pharmacy for thirty minutes.
So, seriously once Ransom got home his little cries reached this high pitch that I have NEVER heard before. It was awful.

And so, he ate,  I gave him his tylenol and he's now taking an epic nap and I'm eating ice cream. We both deserve it.

Hard little life lessons

So, I had a big piece of humble pie this weekend....
I've basically decided-after being back home for about two hours ( so its possible I'll learn something later) that I should NOT have gone to the conference this weekend.

I mean, I honestly cannot figure out why I was there! I literally sat by myself for a majority of the weekend, because Ransom would NOT nap in his car seat ( go figure! Who would want to do that anyway?!?) and therefore I missed every session* because I was sitting up in an empty seating area while my child slept in a room nearby. Yeah. I would then be late for every meal because I was feeding Ransom first, and therefore I would show up-hand my kid over to someone for a short while, while I shoved food in my mouth. No good conversations with people there! The one possible saving grace of the weekend was that I got to lead a workshop with my friend Keri-and getting to prepare that workshop with her over the past few months has been REALLY great! But, to be honest she could have TOTALLY done it without me...and I think that's kind of why I feel humbled.
Was I really suppose to go to that Conference? If I'm honest about it, I didn't spend too much time praying about it at the time that it was first mentioned-I just went "business as usual" and at the time usual was to say "yes" to ministry opportunities...Now I am thinking that ministry opportunities equal my son...
Its hard to admit that I am so much more limited now-and while I wish that I could do everything-doing something as big as a conference without ever Brett there for help-it was silly.

BUT, on the plus side Ransom was an absolute DREAM CHILD for most of the weekend, including the car rides- seriously....LOVE this little boy!

*My wonderful super-hero of a friend, Marie took Ransom for the last session...along with her own four children. incidentally, she didn't go to ANY of the sessions-what an amazing person!

Mom ( or Dad!) Survey...

So, here's my Parenting Question for the day...

I am going to need to get Ransom up an hour ahead of schedule on Sunday and on Tuesday....should I just go ahead and get him up an hour early on Monday too? On one hand I do not want to confuse the kid more than I already am...on the other hand I don't want to start a trend.  So, to sum up...do you think I should or should not get Ransom up an hour early on Monday too.

Comment away!

units of time

There is this episode of Friends where Joey explains to Ross that if you don't work you have to divide your day into units of time...and you shouldn't do too many units in one day.

I took this very much to heart after having a baby...not because I wanted to spread things out, but because I literally COULDN'T HANDLE doing more than one "unit" a day...( i.e. taking a walk, going to the grocery store, going to the post office, cleaning the bathroom etc. etc.)

But, today, without even realizing it I did SEVERAL UNITS one right after the other...and its only 4pm!! So, what happened?!

7 hours of sleep happened!!!

YUUUUUSSSS! My good little baby slept like a champ last night. And therefore so did Mommy.

I hope that this will be a trend and will continue into this weekend- the weekend I like to call "Scare Abigail with a trip" weekend.

That's right, this weekend I am traveling with Ransom ( and several other ladies crammed in my car) to Toccoa, GA for the Navigator Fall conference ( that's a 3 and half hours drive...without a kid, in case you're wondering).
I will somehow figure out how to:
A.travel with my child.
B.pack all the appropriate STUFF that my child seems to need on a daily basis for a three day trip.
C.keep Ransom on a schedule so that he doesn't get cranky while at this conference.
D.go to meetings and also spend time with people at the conference.
E.LEAD a workshop that my friend Keri and I have been preparing.
F.not go insane.

I want to break out into hives just thinking about the logistics of this endeavor.

Things I love...

I am SO SO SO loving Autumn! And I'm loving the Autumn weather that we're having here in Georgia...Sunny and highs in the low 70s! 

Ransom and I took a walk with our friend Marie ( Ransom fell asleep) but I loved the sun and the good company ( and getting out of my house! haha!) 

Oh, and I love this little guy...

A machine

I am currently a feeding machine. I'm assuming Ransom is going through some sort of growth spurt ( or at least he BETTER BE) because the little dude has been waking up every three hours at night ( something I really thought he'd grown out of) and every two hours all day today to chow down....This has made me extra hungry ( this may or may not be in my mind...but whatever gives me the excuse to eat all these M&Ms I'm going with it).

In other, unrelated news, I have new neighbors. They have two daughters...or as I will call them from now on...two high pitched screaming banshees. I mean, seriously, people...the octave that little girls can reach when screaming-whether a happy scream, a mad scream, a sad scream or a "walking to the car" scream-it is all WAAAAAAY too much for my ears. I am annoyed. Which could also be directly related to my lack of sleep...and hunger.

So, in other unrelated news...I've put up Brett's new address...its highly possible that his Platoon and Squad ( and maybe even company) will change again since there is usually a reshuffle after each phase-but I feel like we can go with what we've got and it'll get to him, the mail people seem pretty good about getting him his letters :-)

Ok, also...( I won't say unrelated because I think we've established that this post is very "unrelated") I think I smell like sour milk. I've been smelling it off and on all day...and I think it may actually be ME! This is super embarrassing and now I must go take a shower before Ransom wakes up YET. AGAIN.

Bonus: I've added yet another tab at the top of the page, and "About Me" section which is really very self-involved. BUT, if you go read it-you maaaaay find a not-very-well-hidden Easter Egg. Or whatever they call them...but yeah, there's a little surprise in there. 

Same music...different tune

I am once again listening to the sound track of my child crying...but the Lord was TRULY merciful to me this evening and, somehow, I can handle it a little better now...

Just when I was really at the end of my rope ( seriously, I was having a hardcore inner monologue about how awful things where) when who was to call me on the phone?!?!

BRETT!!!!!!

Yay!! I got to talk to him for a whole five minutes and it just so happened to be a five minute period when his son was NOT screaming but smiling and cooing to himself so Brett was about to talk to his son and actually get some cute responses and NOT the screaming that I'm currently privy to...and OOOOOOH! Can I tell you how wonderful it was to hear his voice?!? AND on top of that Brett is infact moving on to the final stage of Ranger School as of tomorrow....ANNNNND on top of that if he passes the final stage then he'll actually be home earlier than I thought ( apparently they give them a few days before graduation to put on a little weight-probably so mothers everywhere do not file complaints with the federal government) and so I could see him as early as the 18th or 19th! AAAAAAHHHHHH!

Ok, lets stop a moment and realize just how weak I am...and how generous and merciful God is! I got off the phone with Brett and sat on my bed and told Ransom just how wonderful the Lord is that He is gracious and kind to his weak mother by letting her have a glimmer of hope JUST when I needed it!

You're invited!

To a Pity Party....

I'm throwing said party right now...the refreshments are Peanut M&Ms ( as luck would have it, I filled the bowl this afternoon...) and the soundtrack is Ransom going down for his nap-aka crying.

Let's get this party started!

First of all, I miss Brett. A. Lot.  And today it was strikingly clear when I went and penned airborne wings on Jaymon at his Airborne graduation. I know that BOTH of us would have rather had Brett be there doing that for him. I was a sad, sad substitute.

And it was also strikingly clear when a giant branch from a tree outside our house landed squarely on top of one of our cars...incidentally the car that I use everyday...the other car, the Prius- has low pressure in the tires and I haven't had a chance to take care of it since Brett left....anyway, so this giant branch landed on the car and did some damage to the passenger side of the car...nothing terrible, mostly just monitary damage ( you KNOW its gonna cost a million dollars to repair those dents and all that paint damage) and time damage ( you KNOW its going to be huge ol' hassle to get it appraised and then fixed with a baby in toe). And when it all comes down to it I just tired and grumpy about life and its times like these that you'd really like your husband there to commiserate with you.

But, as luck (?) would have it...its highly possible that Brett is parachuting into Florida tomorrow and thus starting the last phase of Ranger School...and that is SUCH good news, or at least it should be...if I wouldn't continually be a Debby Downer inside my head saying things like, "All these good things happening to us will surely end..."

Of course, having a giant branch fall on your car is not good...so maybe that'll take place of anything bad happening to Brett. ;-)

OH! And NONE of you said anything about my list of favorite posts...so BOO!

Ok. Parties over...I'll go do my best to turn off the soundtrack.

Cliff's Notes

So, tonight I discovered that I could add pages to my blog ( you're all probably saying something like, "duh!"... But let's bare in mind I'm still relatively sleep deprived, therefore slow.) and so I got very excited and decided to put together a list of "must read" blog posts. I've often lost sleep at night ( ha!) at the thought that someone might stumble upon my blog and, having not read the previous 1,800 and something posts ( no really... I'm THAT prolific!) they will not have any context clues on which to base this blog... How sad for them. And so, I am slowly making a little stock pile of posts that will give much needed perspective to this blog-the Cliff Notes- if you will...
So, go check it out and feel free to let me know if I've left out something good.

20/20 vision

So, first off...and this will have nothing to do with the rest of the post, but Ransom slept NINE HOURS LAST NIGHT!!!! AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH! ( And with only one feeding in the middle...)
And this same child has been napping like a CHAMP all day!! Seriously, Sleep Training, I will SO write a glowing review of you if you asked...

Ok, now on to my post:

So, this afternoon I was headed out the door to make the loooong trek to Babies R Us to buy more bags for my Diaper Pail ( seriously, my child is the poopiest child ever...and this pail has been a LIFE SAVER!)-which incidentally, we did not make it to Babies R Us, because Ransom started crying soon after we left Fort Benning and I was faced with a HUGE, GIANT traffic jam, and so I took the nearest exit, made a big loop -came home and bought my diaper bags online...they will arrive on Friday and I will not have to have a screaming child in the car for any length of time. WIN.
Ok, wait, that's not where this was going...ok, right, I was headed out the door and I grabbed the mail and noticed a letter from Brett! YAY! And as I was grabbing the mail and heading to the car I heard the little beeping sound on my phone that lets me know I have a voice mail....and so that is how I got the WONDERFUL news from our dear friend Charlie, that Brett passed BOTH OF HIS PATROLS in the Mountain Phase of Ranger School!!! 
I was SO excited! And it made having to drive in a giant loop with a crying baby TOTALLY bareable. And so, when I got home from my totally pointless outing, I read Brett's letter-which he started with, "I'm pretty sure I didn't get a Go on my first patrol." And then he proceeded to tell me all the things he felt he'd done wrong over the last few days. But, you know what? I had already gotten the phone call from Charlie, and I ALREADY KNEW that each and every one of those mistakes that Brett had supposedly made had been covered up by Grace! And that's when I thought-I bet this is how God feels....I mean, don't get me wrong I am NOT equating myself to God, haha! But what I am saying is that how often am I bumming around, thinking how awful things are going ( for instance Ransom crying for days on end and me wondering if I was being a good Mom or if I was setting my child up for a life time of therapy) and God is shaking His head at me wondering when I'm going to remember that my life is covered by His Grace. That His mercy is FAR reaching...when am I going to have faith that He really DOES work all things for Good!?! And so it was kind of cool to have 20/20 vision of Brett's circumstances...to hear his perspective already knowing how it was going to end. But, maybe I need to have that kind of calm and peace going into ALL of our situations-since, its the same God working it all out-whether I know how or not!
So, in this instance it was nice knowing how the chapter ended, but I hope I have that same peace going into the Florida phase where I do NOT know the end result...

A baby and a bear's butt

So, it hasn't even been a WEEK yet of "sleep training" ( a.k.a torture for parents with ears) and things are already looking up for those who have to live with Ransom ( me).

Its actually pretty cute that I would say 65.9 percent of the time ( a percentage that I just made up because it sounded about right) when you put him down for his nap, all swaddled and with his pacifier, he immediately turns his little head and sticks it into the butt of his stuff bear and closes his eyes for about two seconds and then opens them up again as if to say, "nope! I'm not tired!! I won't be sleeping!" But, that two second snuggle with the bear butt is the dead give away that as soon as I walk away he's going to be out. And THAT'S SERIOUSLY WONDERFUL.

Incidentally, the bear butt thing...Ransom didn't come up with it on his own. I started sticking the stuffed bear up close to Ransom's face to "keep the pacifier in"-because that's what good mother's do....and now I think its actually part of our sleep ritual. hahaha!

Anyway, I wouldn't say we've got this sleeping thing down or this schedule thing down...but we're getting there and all the smiles and half laughs I'm getting from Ransom during his awake time is the sure sign that we're on the right track.

So, sigh....I'm sure I'm going to need another pep talk from one of you Mom's again in a few days when Ransom is screaming his head off for the fifty-millionth hour in a row...but I thought I'd take this moment  when Ransom DID go RIGHT DOWN for his nap with a sigh and a bear butt snuggle  to write a post...so I could look back at it and be reminded that while this whole parenting thing seems like a real shot in the dark most days- SOMETIMES it pays off.

Added Note: For those concerned, Ransom's bear is NOT cover his air passages..and it usually doesnt stay by his face for long ( he's a pretty active when he sleeps)-and don't worry I check on him and move it if it DOES seem to stay by his face longer than it should! :-)

A hard chocolate outer shell

An open letter:
I know it may seeeeem that I know what I'm doing, or strike that ( because it probably doesn't) or that I am confident in my parenting choices... But I'm not and I literally pray all the time that God would give me more wisdom and guidance, and shoot if He'd just send me a memo... Or even a status update would do... SOMETHING to assure me that I'm doing the right thing with my son....
This is all wrapped up in how much I miss Brett, at least then there would be two of us to blame for our bad parenting decisions. But, since it's just me, remember dear friends- I welcome your advice and comments, but tread lightly.... Under that hard outer shell I've got a layer that easily melts.

Fussy, Table for two

So, about a week ago I started to notice that Ransom was getting increasingly fussy when it came to going down for his nap or for bedtime. It seemed that no matter what I did he would fight sleep like it was going out of style and so he and I would spend most of the day struggling against each other in the hopes for him to catch a few winks.

Not a happy baby. Not a happy mommy.

And so we've begun "sleep training" basically the idea is that he'll learn how to go to sleep by himself and therefore he'll get MORE sleep and thus be a much happier baby and then I will be a much happier mommy.

At least that is the hopes. Things were really going well last night and up until this afternoon. In fact, he was doing so well that I noticed a marked difference in Ransom's attitude...he was a down right smiley baby! That's what I'm talking about! I don't think I've ever seen him smile so much! It was great fun!

And so as I listen to my little boy cry in the other room...with my phone on timer so that I can run in there as SOON as the timer says enough time has passed ( believe me this is HARD!), I believe that I am doing the right thing for him..he will ultimately be a happier baby and I so want that for him!

But this is hard, and its especially hard when I don't have my hubby around to help me through it-so it was nice that God reminded me of a verse last night to help me through...actually, Brett reminded me of the verse first-its actually the verse that he's memorizing while in Ranger School-so its kinda cool that its helping us BOTH.

Prov 3:12
because the LORD disciplines those he loves, 
       as a father  the son he delights in.

This post is brought to you by the letter A

A is for adrenaline. The adrenaline that comes from only getting 5 hours of sleep ( spread out in 1 hour and half hour increments) and then the adrenaline that comes from running around trying to get as MANY errands done as I possibly could while Ransom was chillin' with my friend Marie. 

This is the same Adrenaline that is now causing me to not be able to sleep during this precious "nap time". Darn it. But I guess that's ok because it means I'm able to write you this wonderful post, RIIIIIGHT?!?

A is for Aden & Anais who make the GREATEST swaddle blankets in the world. Seriously. I was given a set of these babies as a gift before Ransom was born and I recently ordered some more because I literally used all three of the ones I had EVER. SINGLE. DAY. 

They are light weight-perfect for living in the south. They are huge-perfect for covering up the carseat at a spur of the moment, perfect for covering up mommy when feeding and PERFECT for swaddling-because somehow these blankets can stretch tighter than any other blanket I've found and not leave Ransom strangled or overly hot. 

A is for Aunt Donnave who's coming to visit on Saturday. I'm so excited to see her! I know we're going to have great fun with my spoiled son who refuses to fall asleep unless he is held. This habit must end. So Aunt Donnave should get ready for a sound track of screaming. ;-) 

Ordering of the day

I remember when I was young and my parents would pray over breakfast and they would often say, "Lord, order the day for us."
I immediately envisioned me at a fast food restaurant menu and then Jesus jumping in front of me and ordering me something I hadn't thought to ask for...

Well, that's pretty much what I think it means, even now...and I'm often delighted when my "perfectly planned" day turns out to be waaay different. Like today, for instance, today I was starting the morning off slow, Ransom was eating and I got a phone call from my wonderful Mother-in-law, Mary. We ended up talking for about 45 minutes and even praying together at the end. It was SO encouraging to me to hear how she's been praying for Brett and it reminded me how the Holy Spirit has given so many different people, in completely different places some of the same specific prayers for B. Pretty awe inspiring! She also shared some stories about Brett from his childhood and she mentioned how his heart was "tender" for the Lord even back then. It was an interesting word choice, but one that Brett and I have actually used in our prayers for Ransom-even before he was born. I think one of my greatest hopes is that Ransom's heart will be soft and malleable towards the Lord and from an early age he will see his great need for Christ....essentially I hope he's like his Daddy!
Anyway, my conversation with Mary was like a big gulp of cool refreshing water-and after getting off the phone I remember that the previous night I had been feeling rather lonely and down...and here I was getting an encouraging phone call the very next morning!
It was also great to hear from Mary, because I've definitely missed her-she came to visit only two weeks ago but it seems like AGES! It was such a blessing having her here and getting to share a little bit of Brett and my life with her! It was pretty amazing how God once again "ordered" things so that Mary was even here when Brett had his 8 hour pass so she got to see her son! And of course, I had tons of fun staring at Ransom and discussing all the various ways in which he is superior to all other babies. Nanas are good for things like that ;-)


And so my morning whizzed by, and I was just sitting down to feed Ransom again before heading off to a Doctors appointment when the door bell rang and then rang again...and then I heard the door OPEN! So I unattached myself from my child and hurried to see who was there...and it was my downstairs neighbors!! We have seriously lived in this house for HOW many months now and we've been TERRIBLE about getting to know our neighbors...but TODAY of ALL DAYS they decide to break the trend and drop by! They were terribly sweet and even brought diapers and baby wipes for Ransom and so there in that moment I had to just toss my plans of having a perfectly fed and calm baby for my Doctors appointment out the window. I also had to toss my plans of going to the post office to mail Brett's box ( we'll just have to pray that one day doesn't make a difference!) and instead enjoy getting to meet my sweet neighbors. Sometimes I need to learn to be more flexible....

Tv and fire

So, did you know you could stream movies and TV shows to your iPhone with Netflex?! 
Well, I didn't until about a month ago... And now my middle of the night  feedings are a lot more interesting.... So far this week ( starting on Saturday because that's how I start my weeks, ok?)
I've watched the Veggie Tales Movie: Johan, which I watched to recover from watching the show The Riches which turned out to be too dark for my taste.. And now I'm having a Prison Break revival starting with season one. Gosh I loved this show when it first came out... I distinctly remember watching it late at night on DVD waiting for Brett to call me from Washington when he'd get off work, back when we were dating... Gotta love long distance relationships ;-) 

In other news I went shopping today to buy things on Bretts wishlist to send in his care package ( incidentally, I think ive more than covered all his wishes and I feel sure that he won't be able to remotely finish all the food in the time try given him- you don't get to keep your packages and they only give you so long to eat the content...BUT if any of you are heartset on sending him a package, feel free to fill a box with yummy treats and I'm sure Brett will share with other starved ( I almost typed "half starved" just then... But that wasn't accurate) Rangers. After buying all his treats and calming my screaming child ( Ransom does NOT like the car seat) I then made more of my totally awesome White Chocolate Cranberry cookies for Bretts box... I also, because I am now the queen of multitasking ( see: the time I opened the mail while peeing)  I was also cooking black eyed peas for dinner... And SOMEHOW I caught a dish towel on fire on the blackeyed pea burner while taking the cookies out of the oven. It was very dramatic. But, the smoke alarms did not go off which I was torn over... On one hand... We could all die because of lack of alarm, but on the other hand it had take me forever to get my kid to sleep and SO HELP ME if an alarm woke him up...

Once again, with feeling

So, it was an odd sort of day here. For one thing Ransom was dealing with some serious gas issues and he "dealt" with his issues by declaring loudly how upset he was for most of the night and day. And I will admit that I didn't handle it super well... I'd say my lowest point was around 4:30am when I went growling into his room to retrieve him yet. again. Lack of sleep makes me embarrassingly short on patience. It is in fact true that being a parent reveals sooo many more things about myself that I need to work on. But, along with my shortcomings and R's sad tummy- a friend brought over some rice crispy treats ( apparently no one wants me to be skinny when Brett gets back!) and the mail brought with it a cute outfit for Ransom from his Aunt Anna and a gorgeous homemade garland from my friend Elaine- she also included a super encouraging verse as well... Plus another letter from Brett!! Two in a week!!! I feel so blessed!
So many prayers are being answered! Brett said he was dealing with the Instructors horrible treatment by remembering his memory verse ( the reference escapes me at the moment) that talks about the lord disciplining those He loves- it encourages me to know that the Word is ministering to Brett even in his sleep deprived state. Brett also mentioned he'd gotten several more letters from you wonderful friends and family! He said he is continually reminded that he is getting through ranger school because of your prayers.
Once again I am humbled by His faithfulness to us. And so with many pleading prayers that tonight will be better... I'm off to feed Ransom and then hopefully to sleep for a little while at least!

A major sell out

So, the other day I got a check in the mail...a check for 25 dollars. All because I went shopping. That's right, friends. I'm a major fan of online shopping and sending people presents straight from online stores-and so I was DE-LIGHTED when my friend Amy B. told me about ebates.com

Here's how it works. Think up a store that you'd like to visit...( there are hundreds to choose from so more than likely its there), saaaaay gap.com or 1-800flowers or diapers.com or nordstroms.com or boden.com or Ann Taylor Loft...those are just some of MY favorites, but I bet YOUR favorites are there too!
Anyway, just click on the link to your online store of choice and BAM! You've just earned back a percentage of whatever you're about to purchase!

Honestly, its some sort of magic, because I don't even KNOW how ebates tracks this stuff!

Anywho...for the most part I'm really lazy and that's why I hardly ever get behind cash back incentives ( for instance I tried to do the whole swag bucks thing but you're constantly having to jump through hoops to get any significant "bucks"...but EBATES...that's something I'm already doing! I'm ALREADY buying things! So I'm ALL ABOUT getting extra discounts!

So, if you too would like to save a little monies while shopping go sign-up for ebates RIGHT NOW:

And if you wouldn't mind terribly, use this little referral link so I could possibly win an ipad ( that is, if fifty of my readers click on it....so that would be AWESOME!)

Click here to get Abigail a ipad and also to save yourself some cash-o-la

What I learned...

So, first night of Ransom in his own room-done. It went pretty well, actually. I did, however, have to make sure he was pretty much fully asleep before leaving him in his crib. Otherwise it was a lovely back and forth and at 3:30am NOOOOBODY wants to be walking to and fro.

So, I learned one interesting fact-one of my downstairs neighbors snores so loudly that I can hear it in Ransom's room-he/she snored ALL NIGHT LONG and I must admit I was really jealous. It is odd that I can here it in Ransom's room and not mine. You would THINK that the snorer would be in the master bedroom and therefore directly under my room. Odd.

And those are my incredibly deep thoughts for the day.

This week I'm trying to cut down on sweets. Its near impossible considering the GIANT packages of Twizzlers Pull N' Peel that Amy B. sent me in the mail. *sigh*

Updates

So, dropped Carmi off at the shuttle to take her back to the airport and back to her grand adventure around the USA...I cannot tell you how lucky I feel that she spent a whole week with me. It was an absolute delight just to hang out with her day in and day out-with no plans or agenda hanging over us...it was awesome and I am sad to see the time end.

And now, now to another week with just me and Ransom. WOO! To review, the last time it was just Ransom and I for a week I was reduced to tears several times-and most of those times it was because of my great overwhelming gratitude to all those who came around me and supported me during that time. It was truly an incredible testimony of God's goodness to me. Of course, some of those times I was crying it was because I was totally and completely overwhelmed-but hopefully ( HA!) Ransom and I have both grown up a tad in the past two weeks and we'll now be much more capable of hanging out just the two of us....and just to add an element of surprise and suspense to the week I've decided to take this opportunity to move Ransom into his own room. DUH-DUH-DOOOOON.
I've noticed over this last week how much BETTER he sleeps when he's all alone in a room without anyone else in there-even breathing seems to bother him to some degree....and since he's also started to get waaay more vocal in his sleep I think that we'll both sleep better..or at least we will once I get over the extreme sense of anxiety I feel having him ALL THE WAY IN THE OTHER ROOM.

We'll see how it goes. I will like having all the baby stuff confined to its own room instead of half in my room, half in his room...that will be really nice.

And now to the really important part of this post:

I got a letter from Brett today! YAY! First of all, his address has changed-so take note of that ( I've decided to post Brett's address over in the side bar for easy access...), but don't worry he's gotten several of the letters that I and others have already sent so I don't think its a HUGE deal if you use the previously posted address...

Once again Brett is terribly sleep deprived and the letter was written over several days because he continued to fall asleep as he wrote it-at one point he had completely lost track of what day it was ( they had made him take his watch off). Also apparently the instructors in this phase have treated them much worse than they did in the previous phase. He said they enjoy doing "Ranger Games" which is apparently finding new and interesting ways to make the Ranger Students lives hell. It did seem like Brett was struggling to remain positive with this development but he was doing pretty well for the moment.
On a positive note, he had passed all of his tests so far and said that some of the things they were doing might even be considered "fun" if they weren't in Ranger School. Also, he had had an opportunity to talk to some of the guys in his squad about spiritual things even though Brett said he felt like he himself was not doing a very good job praying for opportunities...although, I personally feel like he should cut himself a break since he IS sleep and food deprived! But, that's why I love Brett he is constantly evaluating and trying to do better and I know that the Lord will continue to honor his heart for people. Please continue to pray for Brett and those around him! I KNOW the Lord is already answering those prayers that have already been lifted up! And I am continually encouraged when I think how the Lord has blessed us thus far. :-)

The joys of friendship

So, this week Carmi has been visiting me. Timing was delightful in that she is currently en route back to New Zealand from Europe and is taking the loooong way home by traveling around the USA on the way. And lucky for me she has a jam packed schedule and so having a week in the middle of her jam packed schedule where she does nothing was actually RIGHT UP her alley.

Thank goodness since we do nothing around here.

And so she's spent a goodly amount of time in my bed with Ransom and I, watching The Office and reading. We've slept late and taken walks in the evening and had prayer time. And today we celebrated Carmi's birthday ( which is tomorrow) by going out for the morning without Ransom. My wonderful friends Keri and Marie watched him for us and so I was able to indulge in a CAFFEINATED Latte...it was sooo goooood. **

And can I just say that it takes a special friendship that even after having not seen each other in THREE YEARS it has been terribly normal to see her again. Its just perfectly natural having her here. I am so blessed to have her as my friend.


** incidentally, I'm finishing this post at 1am because the fates are seriously laughing at me and that caffiene is keeping me wide awake when...1. My baby is sleeping and SO SHOULD I!! and 2. I'm exhausted.
awesome.

The shortest 8 hours EVER

So, I've gotta start this post off with a big thank you to my son who allowed me to sleep for FOUR HOURS IN A ROW last night. That's right. It was GLORIOUS.

Anyway, I hope we repeat that again tonight because Mommy had a BIG DAY today! Because, TODAY we got to see Brett!!! YAY!!

He got leave from noon to 8pm....Our dear dear friend Marie offered to do Brett's laundry for him which was a WONDERFUL blessing since he had a LOT of REALLY NASTY laundry to be done, and so instead of spending our day wrangling that- Brett was able to take a two and a half hour nap ( the poor guy had only gotten two hours of sleep the night before and not much more the previous few nights...seriously they are trying to kill him!) and eat pizza, cookies, peanut m&ms, an avacado ( random, but he wanted it!) and several cups of coffee, plus a roast beef dinner right before he had to go back. This did my heart good since he's already lost seven pounds in just these first three weeks... Of course, he also had to do annoying Ranger School related tasks like get another haircut ( aka shave his head) and buy EVEN MORE expensive Ranger School related gear ( honestly, if you want to make money go into the Ranger School gear selling business). But, it was ultimately a wonderful blessing to be able to spend any time with him. I have missed him so very very much.

Of course, it was also wonderful to see Brett with Ransom, it hurts my heart to think how much Brett is going to miss over the next two months but then again, there is still so much of Brett in Ransom even without Brett around...check out this gorgeous picture. Its seriously my favorite I've taken so far...because look how they are sleeping exactly the same!!! AWWW




And so I tried not to think about the hardships that Brett is about to face over these next weeks, or how much I'm going to miss him-instead I tried to soak up the goodness of these few moments together! I also have to admit I am soaking in the goodness of God that He got Brett through this first phase without a recycle (aka him having to do the phase again) or getting kicked out-no, He got us through and not just by the skin of our teeth! No, instead the Lord has shown us countless mercies these last three weeks and I know that He will not stop there.
I asked Brett if it was just as hard going back to Ranger School now as it was being dropped off three weeks ago, he said no. He said it was easier because now he knows the people he's working with-he says he generally likes his squad, he has now gotten through some of the toughest challenges ( that are in those first few days of ranger school) and he has also seen how faithful the Lord has been thus far and he knows that the Lord will continue to be faithful.

So, with that being said! Here's to the next three weeks! aka The Mountain Phase

You can write Brett letters at the following address:

Captain Brett Wilson
Roster #324
5th Ranger Training Battalion
3rd Sqd, 1st Plt Company C
ATTN: Class 10-10
1 Camp Merrill
Dahlonega, GA 30533-1802

Also, at the end of this phase he'll be able to receive packages so if you want to send a care package I'll give you some more details on that in a few weeks :-)
Brett has already received and enjoyed many of your letters and he mentioned many of them to me today. I cannot tell you how grateful I am to know that he's being reminded of all our love while he's dealing with so many harsh conditions. We are blessed!

With one hand tied behind my back...

I am going to attempt typing this with one hand...the other is occupied with patting my screaming baby...no one can accuse me of neglect! He gets my left hand! And since Im left handed, he's getting my very best!!

Anywho, today I got a letter from Brett!!!!! While it was not dated, I can semis that it was written over a week and a half! It was fairly informative, sounds like its more physically taxing than he remembers the first ( course, just like child birth, most pain is quickly forgotten!) And is having trouble with swelling in his hands and feet plus he is recovering from a fall where he injured a rib...
But, in all this I sensed a lightness in spirit, something that I also noticed when I got to see him on Saturday*...I can only attest this to all those who have been praying for him! He said he's gotten quite a few of your letters and that even though he doesn't get much time to "think" that when he does he is strengthened by the thought of all the support that we both have...and indeed we do! We are so very blessed!

Tomorrow we should find out if he passed his "peer review" ( think getting voted off the island...but even more brutal) and I believe that if he passes that then he'll officially have passed the first phase! PRAISE THE LORD!!! WOOOOO!

* So, on Friday I got a call from one of our friends who works at the Ranger Battalion and he said that he had been thinking and praying for Brett on his way home from work and that it struck him that Brett would be doing his Jump on Saturday and that if I just went out to the airfield on Saturday then I would be able to see him for a minute!! He gave me a good little lecture about how I shouldn't draw attention to Brett or really even call out his name ( you don't want to draw undo attention to oneself in Ranger School...) but that at least we might be able to wave at each other. So, Saturday morning Amy ( Amy was visiting me...and thus had the "privilege of sitting in the hot sun with me), Ransom and I packed up and sat in the sun for about an hour and half...watching feverishly as tiny dots being dropped from the sky turned into men in uniform...FINALLY one of those dots turned into Brett and we waved and smiled at each other...and then Brett came over to me!! I pleaded with him to not talk to me since I didnt want him to get in trouble, but he would have none of it! And so we talked for several minutes...and he got to look at Ransom and see how much he's grown! It was glorious!
Of course, all good things in Ranger School must come to an end...because he was then found out and yelled at. I, of course, felt sick to my stomach...if I had some how gotten Brett in trouble and therefore hurt his chances of passing then I would be physically ILL! But, after a phone call to our Ranger Instructor friend I found that the worse Brett would recieve was a slap on the wrist! WHEW!!! So back to being happy about getting to see him!!

Promise

I read this in my time with the Lord tonight, and I'm taking it as a promise for Brett this week...please continue to be praying! He's currently in the last week of the first phase and we'll be finding out soon enough if he passed this first phase! I'm nervous about it-but above all I know that the Lord WILL be glorified in this...

I know your works. Behold, I have set before you an open door, which no one is able to shut. I know that you have but little power, and yet you have kept my word and have not denied my name. Behold, I will make those of the synagogue of Satan bow down before your feet and they will learn that I have loved you. Because you have kept my word about patient endurance, I will keep you from the hour of trial that is coming on the whole world, to try those who dwell on the earth." Rev 3:8-10

Perspective

For a little perspective I'll start this post off with a picture of the past two days...



And now to more positive things...So around 11:30 I was pacing the living room with my screaming baby, crying myself. While I'd made it practically the whole previous day without crying-until the very end. I was not as "mentally sound" the second day of the screaming and so *I* started in on my crying at 11:30. But, before I could get well and truly beside myself.. my dear friend Marie stopped by to drop off milk ( seriously, such good friends), she took one look at me and took Ransom away to her house.

And so I took a shower and a nap...in silence. I then brought my little screaming baby home and my friend and neighbor Michelle dropped off more groceries and stayed to work her baby whisperer magic on Ransom for a while.

Thus I got through yet another screaming day. To be honest I do not know if I would be as grateful, as reflective as I am now about the wonderful help that God has blessed me with this week if Ransom hadn't decided to do his version of the exorcist...So, haha, I'd like to think I've learned my lesson and that I am properly thankful now so that we can STOP these awful crying spells...but just incase I hadn't gotten the full and complete message from God, I also received a package in the mail today from my dear friend Katie M.
And so I took my package into the bathroom and opened her letter while I was peeing...I tell you this because seriously that's the kind of multi-tasking I've been reduced to...I now open the mail on the toliet because I only have time for ONE activity between screaming fits...but I digress...
Katie's letter explained that she'd been inspired ( I think by the holy spirit) to make me a absolutely incredible encouragement pillow based off of a blog post that I wrote back in 2009 about a missionary couple, the Boardmans. Little did Katie know, but I actually have, more than once, gone back and read that blog post to remind myself of the Big Picture, for the Boardmans, while I only met them twice before they both passed away, have been some of the most lasting influential people in my spiritual life...and Katie had done for me what I couldn't do for myself ( in the post I actually said: "If there was ever anything worthy of being embroidered on a pillow, if I knew how, THAT would be something worth embroidering!" ) and put their life motto on a pillow for me!!



And so there I was crying in the bathroom...but this time because I was so grateful that the Lord has blessed me SO MUCH this week. Beyond what I could have imagined. He has showed me just how very MUCH in need of His grace I really am! And let me tell you. that can be awfully humbling! And so now I am renewed in my prayers for both myself and especially for Brett, that we would live out these next few months for His glory ( and its very clear that it'll only be through His grace that that will be possible!)

So THANK YOU Katie for the wonderful reminder that I can look at all the time!

Fairs fair

So, it seems only natural and right that after yesterdays upbeatness I would have a completely difficult day today...but really, to be fair it didn't get "difficult" until around 5pm. At five pm the fact that Ransom had literally cried every minute that he was not sleeping or eating all day had finally worn on my nerves to the point of fed-up-ness.
In the end my friend Marie came over and helped me rule out my milk supply being low as a source of Ransom's woes...but seriously...now we're back to square one, and I'm just going to pray that he was just "having a bad day" and that that bad day does not translate over into nights.

On the upside I have wonderful friends. One friend called to see if I needed anything from the store and then brought me batteries for my swing ( I take it back, Ransom was quiet for about 5 minutes in the swing...until the novelty wore off. haha) , another friend came over to my house to bake cupcakes for another friend of ours...she seriously took the time and trouble to bring over all the ingredients so that she could make them at my house instead of hers so that I'd get some adult company ( while my child screamed). Seriously sweet. And then, Marie also came to my aid this evening with help trying to figure out just WHAT is the matter with my crying child. All in all I know I am blessed.

Oh. And Brett had his first big patrol ( that's basically graded) today and I didn't really know about it until after the fact, then I felt guilty for not spending more of my day praying for him....

Ok. Its officially today needs to just be over.

cue the music

So, wanna here something cool?!?

Exactly one year before Ransom was born ( actually it was three hundred and sixty FOUR days before...but whatever. it was close!) I wrote this verse in my journal.

"Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward." Ps 127:3

CRAZY! I never would have GUESSED that exactly a year later I'd be in labor with my own little "heritage" :-)

We saw the sun

So today Ransom and I were terribly productive. Although he did have a silly way of waking up and demanding to be fed every time I was on the phone with a person ( twice). But, despite that..We had a good day.

I did some storing up of milk so that one day in the future Brett and I can have a date *sigh*. And this may seem very incidental but when you're already feeding your kid and then you're ALSO storing up milk for later...you feel like you are a NON-stop milk cow in a production line or something. Its tiring! So I'm only going to do that once a day...

I wrote some long overdue thank you cards

We went for a WALK ( this was seriously the best part of my day! Honestly it was awesome just to be OUTSIDE. And currently we're having remarkably cool weather here in Georgia. And by cool I mean it was in the 80s.

We worked on Ransom going to sleep for his nap without being held. ( this worked remarkably well...although I confess I WAS putting him down already half asleep pretty much every time).

I took a SHOWER. And I SHAVED MY LEGS and WASHED MY HAIR.

I did some laundry because Ransom peed on his changing table...twice. ( I need more changing table covers! haha!)

And I ate THREE meals all of which were well balanced ( thanks to my wonderfully full fridge of leftovers from all the great meals friends have brought me!)

So yes, these are all basic things but I feel remarkably proud of each and every one of them...And, just think! Only two more days and I'll have another visitor! And actually, I have to say I so felt the Lord's help the last two days as well...in fact, without even planning I've had a friend come over both Sunday and Monday evening-which, looking back, I think evenings are always the most lonely times of the day-at least for me- and without even a thought the Lord provided help before I even asked for it!

One week down!

Woo HOO! We've survived one week without Daddy!! Didn't think it was possible, it was the longest week EVER ( probably not as long as this coming week will be, but we'll see!!) and we survived a whole night by ourselves last night and so I'm optimistic that we'll live through this week ahead ( although you'd never guess from my dramatic facebook status last night...one should not get to have internet access at all hours of the night, its probably not good for the censors.)

It was soooo great having my mom here! Not just all the helpfulness with Ransom...but I don't think the two of us have had that much together time in YEARS! So bonus!


Somebody doesn't like to get baths...but there's nothing like a few fingers to sooth you from the stress!



And his hair is SO CUTE after his bath! It makes me want to brave the screams ALL THE TIME.



Maybe I'm just missing Ransom's Daddy a lot but I think he looks more like him every day!



Today Ransom slept with his head hanging off my lap...you'd think this would be uncomfortable...

A preemptive reminder

Before I could even begin to feel sorry for myself or for Ransom that we're about to spend the week alone together...I was reminded in a huge big fat way today that we're not even remotely alone.

Enter Women's Breakfast.

This was our first women's breakfast here at Fort Benning ( at least since I've been living here...which has ALMOST BEEN A YEAR! Where did the time go?! Has it seriously been that long?!?) and it was a smashing success! There were quite a few new faces that I had never met before plus I got to see a lot of ladies that I hadn't seen since I had a baby ( which was THREE WEEKS AGO! REALLY?! TIME! ITS OUT OF HAND!) and that's what reminded me that I have SO many lovely ladies who are just itching ( or so they say) to come over and hang out with me next week! Plus, my lovely neighbor Michelle actually offered to come hang out with Ransom so I could take a nap-which, lets be honest, is an EVEN BETTER offer at this point ;-) hehe!

And that's not even counting all the lovely people out there praying for our little family while we go through this separation! We are truly truly blessed. So even though I was TERRIBLY SAD to see my Mom go for so many reasons...I know that we'll be ok.

Oh, and that reminds me...One of my lady friends from the breakfast today was able to pass a message on to me from Brett!! Her husband works out at the Ranger Battalion and he was able to see Brett for a few minutes! I cannot tell you how much this means to me...almost more than the "I love you" message, just the fact that Brett got to talk to a friendly face for a few minutes...thats a blessing.

By day the Lord commands his steadfast love, and at night his song is with me. Ps 42:8

I'm really digging the verses about night these days...I see so much of it!

Snoring Baby

Space time continuum

I think we're in some sort of time/space anomaly. Days seem to be flying by and yet theweek that seems to be going extra slowly! Brett hasn't even been gone four days yet! Unbelievable! Time has really gotta start speeding up!

And speaking of Brett, he has the 15 mile ruck march out to Camp Darby tomorrow, so if you'd like to be praying for something you can be praying for that....lots of blisters and sore backs ( they have to carry all their gear, and let me tell you...there is a LOT of it!) coming up!

Also, if you'd like to write Brett a letter while he's in Ranger School you can do that too! Here's the address you'll need for the first phase ( it'll change in about three weeks so I'll keep you updated).

Captain Brett Wilson, 324
4th Ranger Training Battalion
ATTN: Class,10-10 Company C
10850 Schneider Road
Fort Benning, GA 31905

And here's an interesting factoid about Brett and Abigail:
Our relationships basically began through letters to Ranger School! As I've mentioned before this is not Brett's first go around with Ranger School and the first time ( which was almost five years ago! CRAZY!), he and I were still just friends. We had tentatively started talking a lot more and I definitely had a HUGE OL' crush on him and so when I found out that he was going off to some "school" for months on end where his only communication was going to be letters by mail, I was pretty disappointed. I didn't want to write him unless he specifically asked me to-since I didn't want to appear desperate ( ha!) and as the days leading up to his departure slipped away and he had made no such request I figured any ideas of a Brett and Abigail union where, just that, ideas....but then! On the DAY that he left he sent me an email asking if I'd write him! I was SO HAPPY!
I even remember that the first letter I wrote him was me rambling on about Oceans12-which I think was the movie I was watching at the time....ahhh...how far we've come since then! I feel like in some ways our Ranger School/Relationship has come full circle since now my letters are not about silly movies but about our son and what God's been saying to me during my quiet times!

you got it!

So, I don't know who was praying, but AWESOME! Because, last night Ransom was an ANGEL! He hardly made a peep...just some little noises to wake me up to eat! Of course, just now he woke out of a dead sleep to scream for two minutes only to fall back into a deep sleep...so yeah, every moment is different! ( I would say every day is different, but that doesn't seem to cover it.) But, I will delight in all the good moments as much as I can...like these, for instance:

One Down

Today Brett had his physical training test for Ranger School. This test is used to weed out about 150 guys so the standards are pretty crazy. Brett was not feeling super confident going into the test since, unlike the last time he did Ranger School, he'd been doing a lot less running this past year and felt like his run time for the 5 miler was really close to the cut off...
But today came and I got a text from our friend Charlie ( who has inside information) that both Brett and Jaymon passed the test!
I obviously don't know any other details but one thing I did think was pretty cool was that this morning on our way to Ransom's two week doctors appt, I noticed that it was only 75 degrees! At 9:30!! It's usually already in the upper 80s by then!! This means that Brett got to do his test in much cooler weather than normal! How good is God to take care of even these little details?!
I thank you all for your continued prayers... I know the Lord is answering them!
As for Ransom and I... The child has developed some serious colic and spent the better part of last night and today screaming. Hopefully some Mylicon drops will begin to help the situation because I cried a good bit of last night with him... Praying tonight will be better.

Sent from my iPhone

Never changes

Its awful when Brett leaves. I hate it. And in has never gotten easier. In fact, this evening I went and read my blog posts on the days that Brett left for Afghanistan. Both times were awful. How could I forget?!

And this is no better.

In fact, its been kind of harder considering I've got Ransom here and I feel like my normal coping mechanisms are being cramped by this new little person who needs to eat all the time.

And right now, right now he's crying. Ransom has been crying for ten minutes. I want to cry too.

One More Day

Brett leaves for Ranger School on Sunday. In good Pollyanna style: I've been spending the last few days thinking of all the things I am thankful for...there is a lot.

And I'm going to mention one really important thing right now and then I probably won't mention it again and that is that I am very grateful that Brett is just going to Ranger School. He is not DEPLOYING on Sunday. As hard and as awful as it is to say goodbye to him and to imagine the next few months of Ransom's life without his Daddy around-I am terribly grateful that they will ( Lord willing!!) only BE a few months long-not a year.
AND on top of that, Brett will not be in quite as much life threatening danger as he would be deployed ( though they did make sure is life insurance was in order which was not at all comforting)....and so I am thankful. I am thankful that Brett was here for these first two weeks of Ransom's life-that we got to experience the excitement and mind-boggling life changing experience of having a baby together. I am so grateful...

And we get one more day together. Tomorrow.

And then the praying goes into EXTREME mode. So get ready! :-)

Ransom Part 4: The Medical Drama

*Warning* This post may have some graphic medical stuff that might turn the stomach of the faint at heart-be wary!

So, like I mentioned in my last installment of Ransom's birth-the midwife said I had a lot of bleeding after the birth, but that she'd be back in a few hours to check on things- so after several hours, in which we got to introduce Ransom to my family and Brett got to change his first poopy diaper, the midwife returned with the Obstetrician who was on call to check on my stitches and see how my bleeding was doing. It didn't take the doctor long before she realized that the extensive bleeding was not coming from my stitches but that a piece of placenta was still inside me ( apparently I had an extra lobe of placenta so that when the original placenta was removed it didn't seem as though it wasn't completely intact and so the midwife had no idea there was any left inside me) ....

And so without further ado she starts pulling things out of me ( I'm not sure what, I wasn't looking...) and then things got intense. It seems that once she got the rogue piece of placenta out, my uterus started to freak out and the bleeding intensified and my uterus was not contracting. I was literally crying in pain and blacked out for a few seconds because of the lack of blood-but there were seriously two doctors, a midwife and about five nurses all running around the room, sticking me with needles, putting in an extra IV line and putting all sorts of drugs into my body-all while this doctor was going hardcore messaging of my uterus from the inside and out trying to get it to contract. They even started preparing the OR just incase things didn't go well-and it was then I realized that I might loose my uterus.

And that's also when I realized I didn't want Ransom to be an only child.


I looked over at Brett who was sitting in the corner holding Ransom, as the room filled up with people all working on me. Poor guy. That must have been overwhelming. And I know he and I were both praying pretty hard at this point- But it all happened so very fast, and it was-luckily-over relatively quickly.
Thankfully the doctor was able to finally get my uterus to corporate and the blood loss was slowed.

I ended up having to get a blood transfusion the next day, because I lost about triple the normal amount of blood for a birth-and let me tell you, that extra blood made ALL the difference in my recovery!!

All in all, I am able to say how GRATEFUL I am that we had the birth experience that we did-a combo of both a wonderful team of midwives who were with us every single step of the way, as well as medical doctors and nurses who also stepped in when they were really needed. God was very good to us, and I am happy to say that Ransom and I are both on the road to being normal human beings ;-)

Little things

I'm taking a tiny break from "Ransom Part _" posts for a moment because as of today I've been a mom for a whole week! We lived through it! Ransom lived through it! YAY!

When people ask how we're doing I say we're doing great, because-well, I feel like we are. I mean sure I'm sleep deprived and you never REALLY know what the next feeding time will bring, and I'm pretty sure the ONLY thing I got accomplished outside of feeding Ransom/starring at Ransom last week was the following:

I wrote four thank you cards.
I made one power point slide for the Army Leadership Team.
I wrote some blog posts.

That's it.

That's all I did. All week.

But, that's cool! And I am SO GRATEFUL that I have such a life, such friends and such a husband who have made that level of "relaxation" possible!!

The other sweet thing that last week brought was all sorts of lovely surprises in the mail...I got cupcakes delivered from Brett's old boss and his wife ( seriously, awesome. ) and I got the cutest box from my darling friend Kristy that included two of her wonderful greeting cards. I am so blessed to have such a talented friend who makes me smile with her creations. I've been looking at these cards all week...do you notice the little initials in the corner for the pram?! Perfect!




You can check out Kristy's wonderful creations at Mulberrymoment.com

We have also been receiving yummy homecooked meals every few days that are insuring that I will not be loosing too much "baby fat" any time soon-but, hey, we're well fed! And I am SO grateful that I don't have to think about food at all! Huge relief.


So, yes, week one is down. I think Ransom might be just as happy as I am that we've made it through....

Ransom Part 3: The grand entrance

So, just to sum up the last post: Epidurals..they are wonderful.

And finally after 36 hours we were ready to push that baby out! I remember looking at Brett and thinking, "Wow. We're going to have a baby!"

As though that were brand new information.

But, anyway, luckily it didn't take too long to bring Ransom into the world ( haha! At least from THIS POINT), which was a blessing since it became apparent pretty quickly that things weren't going super well with Ransom once I started pushing. The midwife and nurse were super calm about it, but nothing could cover up the truth of the heart monitor- Ransom's heart rate had gone waaay down and became very sporadic and so between contractions I started praying pretty hard that God would help me to push him out quickly.

Not to be too graphic, but first came the top of Ransom's head and Brett told me later he was afraid I was going to have a baby Klingon ( too much startrek for him!) but one that was definitely true: We were going to have a hairy baby! This I was not surprised about, I have been looking forward to having a baby with a full head of hair from the beginning of my pregnancy. It was pretty much the one thing I felt like I could know for sure about a kid that was a combo of Brett and I...we have a LOT of hair. Surely we'd pass that on.

And pass it on we did.

Anyway, 20 minutes after beginning to push, Ransom entered the world. The culprit of his distress was clear, the umbilical cord had been wrapped around his neck! But, God had answered my prayers, and we got him out quickly! The nurse announced the time: "14:21"

And Brett and I both looked at each other both immediately knowing what the other was thinking...one of the verses that we have memorized and love is John 14:21. And right then I knew that this was yet another promise on Ransom's life. I will most definitely be telling him that his "Life verse" is:

He who has my commands and obeys them, he is the one who loves me. And he who loves me is loved by the Father and I too will love him and show myself to him."


And I pray that this will be true of Ransom's life.


So, there he was-our little baby boy. The nurse and midwife started placing wagers on how much he was going to weigh, but none of them got close! He was much bigger than they thought! ( And I must admit I was pretty well satisfied since I'd been dealing with all those people telling me he was going to be "tiny") Coming in at a nice 8 lbs, 1 oz and 20 inches long-he was perfectly adorable. I spent the next however long staring at Ransom trying to take him in while the midwife "finished me up."

Once again I'll spare you the details, but it should be noted that I was apparently bleeding a lot and the midwife told me she would be bringing in an obstetrician to check my stitches and my bleeding a little later on. I didn't think anything of this...

And so Ransom was introduced to my parents and my sister who had gotten on a flight to Georgia the night before and had been waiting patiently all day for his arrival ( they hadn't eaten ANYTHING for most of the day just in case they missed anything....Ransom should know he's loved. hehe!)

Stay tuned for the last installment of Ransom's Birth...the Medical Emergency Drama Segment.

Ransom Part 2: Labor is an understatement

So, before I get started Brett wants me to tell you that I was not 2cm dilated the first time I went to the hospital...I was a three. But I MIGHT HAVE WELL HAVE BEEN A TWO.

Because back home we went where I dealt with closer and closer together contractions-but this time from the "comfort" of my bathtub. Someone once told me that laboring in water was like "hardly laboring at all"...and honestly, I don't know what they're talking about. I mean, maybe it was TINY bit better in the water...but saying that it was a relaxing bath would be leading all my dear readers astray.

At around 3am I was pretty well discouraged again. Because if you're keep track ( WHICH I SURE WAS), I had now been in labor for twenty four hours. TWENTY FOUR HOURS OF NO SLEEPING FOR ABIGAIL.

I told Brett I wanted an Epidural. And I wanted it now.

Brett being the calm and loving husband that he was, took me back to the hospital so that I could at least be admitted.

And that's when the wonderful midwives entered the picture. They were so calm, they were so supportive and they seriously were a godsend to Brett and I both over the next 12 hours. We started off with Colonel Franklin who Brett said had a calming affect almost immediately. She was with us until the morning shift started, when Captain Nuter took over. ( incidentally Captin Nuter also delivered the babies of my three other friends who've had babies in the past 4 months. She has literally been the Navigator Baby Midwife extreme! haha!!)- Anyway, at around 7am Colonel Franklin suggested that I try some narcotics to help me relax and hopefully get some sleep ( I ended up getting about an hour of sleep) This I was all for, however, it is the decision that I made that I am least happy with now. While it did keep me from getting an epidural at least for a while, the drugs made me drowsy and out of it, and also slowed down my contractions so much that I then had to be put on pitocin. Basically my labor went from being natural to being drug driven.
But, anyway, that's where we were when the morning shift took over and Captin Nuter entered the scene. Colonel Franklin had also taken care of Brett, allowing him to get about an hour of sleep and a break to go grab some breakfast. And so we started the morning still laboring on...
At 10:30 the midwife broke my water and BOY HOWDY things got more intense. I spent the next hour and a half in the shower and on the birth ball. I was at 8 cm when I started and the HOPE was that by the end of it I would be ready to push.

And so, at noon she checked me again to see how I'd progressed and the answer was: none.

I was still at an 8.

And so that's when I got the epidural.

Now, on my last post Amy insinuated that I was a weeny for getting an epidural. And I'm sorry, I've got to disagree. I mean, sure, easy for me to say...but I'd gone for a Really REALLY long time without the drugs and I think, in a lot of ways, that epidural helped my body relax enough to go the rest of the way. Anyway, weeny or not...I finally got about two hours of sleep and then woke up around 2pm, fully dialated and ready to push!

YAY!

I was so SO happy that we'd finally reached this point. And was way excited to meet Ransom....

Stay tuned for the continued story of Ransom

Ransom, Part 1: The beginnings

So, lets start with how much I love sleep and how much I secretly asked God that I would not be in labor during the night...and how God did not deem that a necessary prayer to answer...and so it was that I started having contractions around 3am on Sunday morning.

Luckily the contractions were not terrible, just not particularly conducive to sleep either and so I entertained myself by listening to several "What You Missed in History Class" podcasts and tried hard to rest. And so that's how we spent Sunday...me having contractions about every 8 to 10 minutes and spending the rest of the time reading ( Brett read Harry Potter: Book 4 out loud to me) and basically trying to stay comfortable. I wouldn't say the contractions were terrible but they were definitely the kind you had to stop whatever you were doing to get through and so I figured we couldn't be too far away from things progressing..however, by Sunday evening I had given up hope of having a baby that day..it just didn't seem possible since my contractions were just NOT getting closer together.

By Sunday evening I was super de duper cranky and I finally just had a really good cry were I told Brett and God that I didn't want to do this anymore. I mean, it was like having a giant screw in my stomach that got turned every few minutes but never actually GOT ANYWHERE. And then my contractions bumped up to every 5 minutes. WOO HOO! That's what when they told me I could go to the hospital! Surely they would tell me that I was SUPER CLOSE to having this baby!! After all...I'd been doing this whole "contraction business" for 17 hours or so that should be worth something!
And so Brett made himself a cup of coffee and I timed my contractions and got really annoyed that he was taking so long.

Of course, now I know that Brett could have made lattes for half of Fort Benning and we would STILL have had plenty of time to get to the hospital.

But, side note...you know what is NOT FUN!?! Having contractions in the car. Yeah. Sitting or lying was pretty much the LAST position I wanted to be in.

So Hospital arrival number one: The bad sign was probably the fact that I was able to smile and be civil with the doctor who checked me out. Yeah...now I know that when you're really in labor there is no time for civil.

We were sent home only 2 cm dilated and super deflated spirits. Here it was 11pm and I was having contractions every three minutes and it looked like I had another sleepless night ahead....

Stay tuned for more...Part 2: The Second Night

Bonus Baby Post

So, Brett and I were very blessed to have my parents and sister jump on a plane and come for Ransom's birth. They arrived in plenty of time ( since he was so polite and waited for everyone to get nice and comfortable in georgia before being born) and were incredibly helpful to Brett and I during those first 48 hours...plus it was just fun getting to share in the joy of Ransom's birth.

And this has to be one of my favorite moments...Brett and Papa changing Ransom's first really intense diaper....I cannot BELIEVE I caught this picture but it is CLASSIC.