This is in italian...

Wooo....this keyboard is crazy pills so its hard to write, but you know me...I cant go very long without blogging.
I am in Roma.

So far my major comment on everything is Whooooa. Seriously, I feel like words cant really discribe the multitude of this city...as in all the people. everywhere.an in all the amazing buildings. everywhere. as in my beautiful wonderful friends. right here with me.

whooooa. wonderful.

Even with jetlag, Ive visited many a fountain, eaten in many a piazza looking at interesting people walk by and listening to street children play instruments. Saw the collesseum today...incredible to think I was standing where so many were murdered, where so many watched...it was quite moving. I am also making it a habit as of this moment in time to have gellato every single day.

Thank you for your prayers dear friends. This trip is going to be such a blessing.

do you smell that?

That would be my freedom...which is fastly approaching...
aaaaahhhhhhhhhh!

For those of you that havent picked up on this, I'm leaving tomorrow....

Keep watching this space for Italy updates

Peace be with you, blog-readers!

the last day...

So, I am heading out to Italy tomorrow..WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I really wish I could make that bigger font because even all-caps just isnt cutting it for the emotion I am feeling. Anyway, I am stuck here at work all day just building up my excitement.
Dont get me wrong, today is going pretty well...I mean, its already 10...which means I've been here 2.5 hours already...here's a rundown of all that I've done so far

And I better get this out of the way first:
I've worked solid for, like, 20 minutes...and then on and off for the rest of the two point five hours. ( faxing, phonecalls, filing, finding lost xray jackets, pulling up old reports, hanging lots of films, writing up continual reports list ;-)
other than that...
I checked email
wrote email
checked bloglines
read several blogs
wrote several comments
started writing up a story
checked out a very funny/pitiful website do be careful, I noticed some profanity words which was too ridiculous for words
I talked to my doctors about various trips they've taken-including a long discussion about Alaska
I wrote in a birthday card
I ate a McDonalds Bacon, Egg Cheese Biscuit ( which I've been craving for a WEEK now!)
I also ate a pear that a doc brought me. it was reeeeally good.
I checked the progress of my Family Guy DVD ( apparently its shipped but i havent gotten it...I'm really bummed, especially since i havent gotten the portable DVD player to work as of yet either...booo! no fun plane time for me! )

Don't *i* feel accomplished thus far...

seeing is believing...

katiew-car.jpg
Originally uploaded by wooo

a perfect example of texas' finest car.

One more day of this...

I am working a full day tomorrow and then.....

I LEAVE FOR ITALY!!!!

Can you tell that I am excited? I am starting to think this trip couldnt come at a better time....

Ok, taking some big deep breaths so that that I can concentrate on writing...
~
I am a bit bumed because my DVD of seasons one and two of The Family Guy have not come. I SOOOO wanted to have it to watch on the plane! :-( Now, I dont know what I am going to take with me. I wanted to see something that I havent seen in a while-but that would mean I would have to BUY a new DVD...and family guy was really the only thing on my to buy list...I guess it could still come tomorrow. :-(

Last night Anna and I bought "party" food and I ate waaaay too much. Has anyone seen the new "mini chocolate chip cookie dough"? it is soooo cute! It comes in these already cute out teeny tiny cookies so that when you bake them the cookies are tiny....but the great thing, really, is that they are bite sized cookie dough that I can eat! WOO! We allllll know how wonderful cookie dough is to eat! I dont even know why people take the trouble to bake...

speaking of baking we are having desert with Steve and Billie tonight. It should be great fun! I am looking forward to it, and i am so glad they didnt go and have a party while I was gone. I hate missing out on fun times.

Speaking of fun times, has anyone heard the rumors about even MORE of my friends moving to Wellington next year? * sigh* I have this crazy sixth sense about where will be the coolest place to live ;-) too bad I cant take my own advice. boo!


I think I need to get my car cleaned/ inside and out....after the coffee spilling episode of yesterday I have become super paranoid that my car is going to slowly sour and smell really really bad. However, the time for such an event doesnt seem possible anytime today-which is the really only time I have to do ANYTHING. I am working alll day tomorrow and then I'm leaving for Houston on Saturday morning. meeeh! I dont want a smelly car! :-(

some thoughts..in no order

1. I had some very very strange dreams last night, I can only remember snippets... but I blame it on that piece of sausage that I tasted RIGHT before bed.

2. I had the day off yesterday. It was awesome.

3. In the attic I found some great dresses from my senior year in high school...and this really amazing handmade top that I bought in Greece that I'd never worn. Woo-HOO for "new" clothes to wear!

4. I got a pedicure-a Christmas present that I'd put off for the "perfect day". Nothing like delayed gratification.

5. This morning I had not even pulled all the way out of the driveway when I poured an entire cup of coffe onto the floor of my car. I pulled back in and Papa helped me clean it up and produced another cup of coffee in a matter of minutes, then as I pulled away again he said, "Isnt it great that in only five minutes you can start your day all over again?"
My day went from bad to good in just that sentence. Thanks to a wonderful papa.

today tomorrow....

Rather I will WRITE about today tomorrow. ;-)

It always seems more 'time efficient' to write blogs at work....do you think my blogs have change in nature now that I mostly write them at work where I get interrupted? hmmmm...ALSO, its obviously at a different time of day and a different time after the events I write about take place....surely it has affected my writing. Has anyone noticed?


But, before I find myself invovled in a longer post than this already is:

My thoughts for the night:

-Thanks for answered prayer.
-Today was a reminder that THIS verse is true:
"The Thief's purpose is to steal and kill and destroy. My purpose is to give life in all its fulness." John 10:10
-I feel like this is my constant cry lately, but its always good when the Psalms mirror my thoughts ( hehe):
"Search me oh God, and know my heart;try me and know my ANXIOUS thoughts. And see if there be any hurtful way in me, and Lead me in the everlasting way." Ps 139:24
- I only have THREE MORE FULL DAYS before I am OFF TO ITALY! ( that would be the 25th for those of you who dont own calendars) WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

self-loathing...

I know, its a strong title. But, I was just reading over my previous post and I started to "dwell"....some of my friends know what THAT means...it means I started (over) analyzing everything.....

SOOOOOooooo, so I can sleep tonight:

The person who I felt mirrored my feelings, my actions....is no one YOU know-dont you worry, dear bloggers, I find myself again and again as the weakest member of my family. Its incredible, actually, how strong they are.
Infact, one of the lessons I learned yesterday, that I failed to mention is that I watched how my parents, my sister, my brother-in-law, they all acted with such kindness, such calm, such gentleness....in a time when I knew they must have been feeling at least SOME if not ALL of how I was feeling. Isnt it amazing what we can learn from others? or at least ASPIRE to how they react in a situation.
I am learning that the people that are dealing with similar problems as yourself are JUST the people that you are often sent to comfort, encourage....and often they are the people that are the HARDEST to comfort and encourage from your own selfish point of view. I guess, what I am trying to say...so very badly.....is that in the end it is not in their own strength that I know my family is acting in. They are truly helped so that they may help others.

How lucky they are to have Help.
How lucky I am to have them to remind me that I have that same Helper.

for the sake of it...

Well, bum.

here I am at work, and I was reeeally looking forward to only working until 12:30 and having the rest of the day to do whatever....

yesterday was, well, I'll get to that in second.
Lets just say that I was looking forward to being a bum for a day- but then it turns out there was some family emergency.. yada yada...and Dee wont be in to work today.

Thus, me=ten hours of work.
*sigh*

Yesterday ended up being a good day- I mean, I was extremely sad about missing ALL THREE church services...booooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo! I was working for the first one and then I went to Tyler with my family during the other two.
I knew that I could have stayed home and gone to church-but I thought it was important to spend Father's day WITH my father.
This is what I have to say about the day in Tyler:
I love my family and I had some very good laughs in the car.
But...
I found myself in a very very uncomfortable position-for myself. As you all know ( if you read my blog) I have been struggling with denial, and dealing with things...and while I felt like I was really getting somewhere I found myself in a corner ( literally) listening to someone else's worries on the exact subject that *i* struggle with...I saw my own fears magnified in this person, I saw my own lack of faith, my own loss of hope. It was extremely uncomfortable and I just wanted to LEAVE. I wanted to RUN. I wanted to CRY. and possibly SCREAM.
I did none of the above but I did do a lot of praying for help. I got through it, though I wouldnt say "well"....I just sat in the corner and tried not to listen to what was being said around me-I wouldnt call that "dealing with" but I think it was a some sort of a revelation because I saw the dangers of what COULD happen to me if I let fears take control. I also saw the Faithfulness in the Lord, in that He helped me NOT scream or react in the way I SOO wanted.
I also found another lesson hidden in the situation as well, it always seems such "attacks" happen when all other circumstances are bad too. I mean, its hardly EVER just one thing...now, yesterday isnt the perfect example because the other circumstances were realtively mild in comparison-BUT I WAS extremely hot, extremely tired, my back was hurting and everything around me smelled like an ashtray...I wouldnt call it an ideal "fighting" condition. Once again...the devil never fights fair. We just have to face the circumstances, however unsavory, and ask for Help of our Warrior.

I'm sure I'll blog again later...its only 12...the day is only half over.

This was GOOD

I am working on Sunday, which totally stinks, but then I get to go to Italy for 12 days so I guess things will turn out...but I'm reading THIS online and I thought it was beautiful.

From My Utmost For His Highest:

"And Peter . . . walked on the water to go to Jesus. But when he saw the wind boisterous, he was afraid." Matthew 14:29-30

The wind was actually boisterous, the waves were actually high, but Peter did not see them at first. He did not reckon with them, he simply recognized his Lord and stepped out in recognition of Him, and walked on the water. Then he began to reckon with the actual things, and down he went instantly. Why could not our Lord have enabled him to walk at the bottom of the waves as well as on the top of them? Neither could be done saving by recognition of the Lord Jesus.

We step right out on God over some things, then self-consideration enters in and down we go. If you are recognizing your Lord, you have no business with where He engineers your circumstances. The actual things are, but immediately you look at them you are overwhelmed, you cannot recognize Jesus, and the rebuke comes: "Wherefore didst thou doubt?" Let actual circumstances be what they may, keep recognizing Jesus, maintain complete reliance on Him.

If you debate for a second when God has spoken, it is all up. Never begin to say - "Well, I wonder if He did speak?" Be reckless immediately, fling it all out on Him. You do not know when His voice will come, but whenever the realization of God comes in the faintest way imaginable, recklessly abandon. It is only by abandon that you recognize Him. You will only realize His voice more clearly by recklessness.

the gene pool.

There was a time that I thought that my sister and I were as different as night and day. But as time goes on, I find how FREAKISHLY alike we really are ( minus that whole cleaning disease Anna has).
Last night we were bored and wanted to "do something" ( which means not just watch a DVD)...after much thought and no ideas I blurted out what I really wanted to do:

"Anna, I just want to go SWIMMING! I havent been swimming in ages and it would be SOOO nice tonight!"

The look on Anna's face said that she not only agreed with me up even more...
" I was JUST thinking about how much I wanted to go swimming today!"

Hysteria insued as we tried to think of a place we could go swimming-we went so far as to very much CONSIDER staying at a hotel for the night so we could use their pool...but, alas, everywhere was full or only has smoking rooms.

I suppose its a good thing we ended up not renting a hotel room-what would all of you have thought of us THEN?

No, instead we ended up doing one of our OTHER favorite things to do-something that I am SO SURE is waaaay more socially acceptable and cool:

We got a pizza and ate it in the car as we drove around housing developments looking at houses and commenting on them.

Yes, life is a party when your swimming in our gene pool.

Ha!

You people crack me up! It almost makes me saaaaad how seriously everyone took my last post...I mean reeeeally its FICTON and if I really half expected the real world to be like that, or real men to be like that...well....then I would do a lot less reading and a lot more dating!
HAHAHAHAH!
( and for all of you out there that are still on that "serious" kick...the above was a joke.)
*ahem*

that was some good times.

And speaking of good times, I had an AWESOME two hour conversation with Carmi last night...WOO!
I also had a great dinner with Katie <-two dinners ordered in the hardest possible way,
K:"The BlackBean burger without onion or pickles and could you NOT butter the bun?" and A:" The Big Cobb without the egg and without the corn relish" and then later...
A: "Is this really the avacodo ranch dressing?"
and
K:" Can I get a tomato for this burger?"

plus,
a reeeeally good hot molten chocolate cake ( if you havent had it you havent truly lived)

~
I'm not one to have a current events blog...but I just HAD to mention that I am personally sick of hearing about Tom washed-up Cruise and Katie my-voice-is-annoying Holmes and their faker than fake romance....I would personally rather hear about a "Skeptical" fake romance like the one in Persuasion rather than THIS. :-p

Such a pity....

Poor males....how I pity thee! How can you live up to the words of Jane Austen??

Today I was reading Persuasion on-line ( I LOVE electronic books!!!) and, well, I HAD to giggle to myself...man, that Jane, she really knew how to put chills down the spine of her girlish readers!

I give you "The Letter"-
for the girls I say, "isnt it just beautifully cheesy?"
for the boys I say, " go out and read some Austen...you might think its below you-but you'll learn a thing or two."

"Dear Miss A.E.
I can listen no longer in silence. I must speak to you by such means
as are within my reach. You pierce my soul. I am half agony,
half hope. Tell me not that I am too late, that such precious feelings
are gone for ever. I offer myself to you again with a heart
even more your own than when you almost broke it, eight years
and a half ago. Dare not say that man forgets sooner than woman,
that his love has an earlier death. I have loved none but you.
Unjust I may have been, weak and resentful I have been,
but never inconstant. You alone have brought me to Bath.
For you alone, I think and plan. Have you not seen this?
Can you fail to have understood my wishes? I had not waited even
these ten days, could I have read your feelings, as I think you must have
penetrated mine. I can hardly write. I am every instant hearing
something which overpowers me. You sink your voice, but I can
distinguish the tones of that voice when they would be lost on others.
Too good, too excellent creature! You do us justice, indeed.
You do believe that there is true attachment and constancy among men.
Believe it to be most fervent, most undeviating, in F. W.

"I must go, uncertain of my fate; but I shall return hither,
or follow your party, as soon as possible. A word, a look,
will be enough to decide whether I enter your father's house
this evening or never.
F.W. "

You gotta admit that is some DRAMATIC EMOTIONALIST writing if ever you read it! This particular paragraph is one of my secret indulgences of literature....Its embarrasing but true. ;-)

In season...

A friend sent me this quote this past week....I loved it!

"I think Helen Keller said this:' People are like stained glass windows, they shine and sparkle when the sun is out; but once darkness sets in, true beauty is only revealed with a light from the inside.'
You have that light inside and I know that by the Grace of God you will get through all this, whatever it is."

Dear friends, I am blessed to have you-so many of you have let me borrow your light when mine needed relighting...thank you.

grasp at straws...

I bet if people came across my blog today they would think....WHOOOOA CRAZY!

They would, of course, be right.

You know what we havent done in a while?

Ten things that make me happy:
1. late evenings and early mornings in texas...when its still bareably warm ( as in not HOT) outside. Its wonderful.
2. my ipod and all 1,103 songs on it.
3.barefeet
4. Going to Italy in 10 days.
5. the movie Hitch. I watched it on DVD last night, and I think I may have to buy it.
6. getting off of work at the end of the day
7. Mail from friends.
8.phonecalls that help.
9. inside jokes with yourself.
10. funny t-shirts

puppy.JPG

puppy.JPG
Originally uploaded by abigailsday.

T for Trouble.

I should have KNOWN yesterday was going to be trouble. But, then, I've always been one to ignore trouble until its out of control....a good thing? nope, probably not. Its what is most commonly known as "survival 101"

What am I talking about, you say?

Well, it started when I woke up at 9AM and realized no one had woken me up for "Family Coffee at Java Jacks"....so I wondered around the house looking for the parents, I finally opened the back door and there was my father standing out in the yard staring at something next to the door...

"The puppy is sick."

As you MAY remember we'd been taking care of a puppy for the last five days or so; and there was the puppy curled up in a listless ball next to the door- not its usually "bite everything and run around till I fall over" self...

So my father and I kept a worried vigil next to the puppy for the next hour waiting for her owner to come pick her up and take her to the vet....
~~
In the end it turns out she had some sort of sickness caused by drinking creek water that came from where she was born. She is now on IVs at the vet and will hopefully get better....its a miracle it happened when it did and not before- for instance if it had happened the day we got her than she could have died before we realized it wasnt just a dog being sad about loosing its owners....yes, while it was a bad thing you could say it happened at just the right time.

Silver lining in a dark cloud, right?
Sure, why not...I've always been one to either come up with a silver lining or go into complete denial. Its great, it works wonders...life goes on without too much badness.

FOR INSTANCE:

September 2004: Bad thing number one.
Abigail's reaction: Shock, crying, pray for a miracle. Found a possible silver lining/denial.

October 2004: Bad thing number two. (miracle doesnt happen)
Abigail's reaction: More crying, find a silver lining, pray to accept it, pray for bigger miracle.

December 2004: Bad thing number three.
Abigail's reaction: Shock, disbelief, change miracle prayer ( but still a miracle). Denial found.

March 2005: Change back to praying for orginal BIG miracle.

April 2005: Bad thing number four. No miracle.
Abigail's reaction: Total sadness. more crying. pray for strength. pray for acceptance. pray for a break. Silver Lining.

June 2005: Bad thing number five. Bad surprise.
Abigail's reaction: No shock. Resentment. Anger.

June 2005 ( one week later): Bad thing number six. No break.
Abigail's reaction: No shock. Crying. Numb.

~~~~~~

So, I just read over that...I know its not very clear- some of you know what I am talking about, some do not....
the point is, and i hesitate to share any of this, is that I am being FORCED to face the facts.
I am being forced to not have a silver lining. I am forced to not be in denial ( I mean, how can you ignore this?)

Believe me, last night was probably WORSE for me than the inital bad thing Number One. Reason being I no longer had hope for anything Easy to come out of it.
Yes, I admit it with NO PRIDE at all that I have always prayed for the Easiest thing to happen, the thing that would cause the smallest amount of Hurt. The smallest amount of Pain. I have not gotten the answer to those prayers.

So, today I tell my blog. I tell my blog something that is really personal. I tell you that I am weak. I am someone who has asked for the easiest road. And now when shown that that road will not be given I have been left with some not so nice things that I need to work through, things that I need saving from:

My hatred for the US justice system. I really must learn to forgive. Now, at the moment that seems like more of a miracle than any up till now.
My loss of hope for miracles at all. I havent seen any thus far and I dont know if I can pray for them now.

I think thats it for now. I tell you this because these are my darkest secrets, you probably wouldnt see them on the surface, when others who may even share my feelings talk about these things I run. I change the subject. I deny it.
But, I am THROUGH denying it. I am THROUGH because I dont want to be like this. I dont want to hate. I dont want to be hopeless.
There it is.

I need an index...

I need an index for my journals....but that would be bordering ( if not completely) on crazy insanity...

HOWEVER, it would be nice for me to quickly find the date of the Dream.
It was Design Weekend 2003.....

Hmmmm....I'll find it sometime, but I probably will not share it here-some things are too precious to share.

What I WILL share is that I have a DREAM, I have a DESIRE for something- and yet, the idea of it happening....how it will happen....when it will happen-none of these things are known to me....all I was given was the dream.
The dream is enough for now....

With dreams I often find myself trying to "help them along"....I find myself wanting to do some of the work.....this is of course cheating my Dream, it is cheating the Dreammaker....for it is His desire to have his hand in ALL the handywork of creating my Dream.

"Unless the Lord builds the house, They labor is in vain who build it, unless the Lord guards the ciry, the watchman keeps awake in vain."-Ps 127:1


So, I must quiet my soul on restless days that are given to "working on false dreams"....yes, instead I must wait.....

" I wait for the Lord, my soul does wait, and in the word do I hope." Ps 130:5

Waiting is harder work than one might think- for it is not a time of Sleeping....No, now more than ever, I must be attentive....I dont want to miss anything! Any secret blueprints of the Dream that might whisper out in the Dark....
Granted, such secrets are few....and yet, just as a song goes through its verses and yet returns again to the chorus- so does it seem with my life and my Dream....each new verse brings new definition to the chorus....each new day brings new light to the dream.....

Listen.
Hope comes.

Have I mentioned that I love summer?

Today was the Nacogdoches Blueberry Festival, one of my favorite parts of the beginning of summer here.....seriously, there is NOTHING better than the downtown streets blocked off and lined with booths....from a local church giving out free bottled water, to the Republican Women's group selling American flags that flew over the White House, to a Gospel Music radio station belting out their music at top volume to a petting zoo where you can pay $2 to get a picture with a calf ( yup, texans are always suckers for cows it seems) ...and then their are the people visiting the booths....
Hords of people, mostly families with their little sweaty-headed, baseball jersey-wearing children holding hotdogs, Senior citizens wildly waving free cardboard fans handed out by the local supermarket, and teenagers wearing a wide varitey of hollister t-shirts and summer tans.

I drank the BEST blueberry iced tea....I watched a Sullivan play on the Square.....I saw familiar faces, some whom I hadnt seen in years, some I saw yesterday....I had a surprisingly long and realitively deep conversation with Elaine who, in thinking back, I have NEVER had a long, deep conversation with....she and I were friends with the same large group of friends in high school-but somehow, years later, I think I probably have more in common with her than some of the people I was closer with back then....ironic ( or IS it?)...
yes, the conversation was like air conditioning after a day at the blueberry festival.

my big toe.

This afternoon I tried to take pics of the puppy....but she kept chewing on my toes, which tickled and made me laugh thus making for bad shots....we'll see if any of them turned out, maybe I'll post one :-)


I watched Hotel Rawanda with Katie and her Mommy....what a wonderful movie! It fed the part of me that wants to join the peace corp...so whether thats a GOOD or a BAD thing is up to you ;-)

I watched Mr. and Mrs. Smith with my sister which was a fun surprise- the theatre was totally packed...lots of annoying highschool and junior highkids....I seriously cant stand them as a whole "genre" of people. Though Anna had some funny comments on the matter-which brings me to the movie- Anna and I decided that we would make FAR better Mrs. Smith characters than ol' Angelina....She isnt funny AT ALL...and always plays such a one dimentional/straight characters and its boring....ok, ok, so we arent QUITE as "hot" as she is....but really how important ARE good skin, tiny body, big boobs and giant lips and cat eyes, anyway?!?!

Brad Pitt on the other hand, HE was funny ;-)

I am lying in my messy room surrounded by lots of clothes and other things BEGGING to be picked up and put away...but Im so tirrrrreeeed.....meeeeeeh

A jungle of thought

i know that different people process thoughts differently...and I am DEFINITELY a "write it down person"....luckily 21 years has taught me this lesson well, and now I dont even TRY to have good conversation with God...or with myself without writing something down in the process.

Which is why I got an email this morning...from myself. I wrote it last night since I didnt have a journal. *blushes*



" Those who sow in tears shall reap with joyful
shouting. He who goes to and fro weeping,
carrying his bag of seed, shall indeed come again with
shout of joy bringing his sheaves with him. Ps 126:
5-6


Unless the Lord builds the house, They labor is in vain
who build it, Unless the Lord guards the city the
watchman keeps awake in vain. Ps. 127:1


"the wicked plot against the just, and gnashes at him
with his teeth. The Lord laughs at him, for He see
that his day is coming." Ps 37:12-13


~~~~~~

What does that first set of verses really mean? I would love some feedback...on anything.

Evan wins with four....

Wooo....look at all those comments, I guess this proves that words to comments ratio is a little lopsided...I should start having one word posts and see how many THAT gets me ;-)

naaaaah.


Hey, so since we are on this line of thought-its 10:38PM and I'm glad today is over. To comment on my OWN post I would have to say that life can be overwhelming sometimes and, well, it caught up with me this morning. Buuuut, on the bright side- I got off of work at 10:30 ( afterall it was SUPPOSE to be my day off!) and had some "alone" time with myself during which time I watched episodes of Scrubs, watched Return to Me, cleaned my sister's house, took a nap and got my oil changed in my car...not necessarily in that order...but all in good timing.

THEN I had a visit with my Aunt Janis, my cousin Emily, her three children ( including the ADORABLE baby Abigail...awwwww!) and my new Cousin-in-law ( is that what you call it?) Susan.....
it was very nice to see them, I always wish circumstances allowed for more time to hang out.....

OH! annnnd I saw Cinderella Man with Kathleen....she was great fun to watch movies with-we both cried....I give the movie a GREAT big thumbs up. Russell Crowe was amazingly good.

So, I left my journal at my sister's house....drat! It's hard for me to think without my journal!! meeeeeh! how am I suppose to have a quiet time without it?!?!?!?!!!
I have so many thoughts in my head, and now I have no where to put them!

I've cried three times today.
Which reminds me....

Rude thing I heard this week:
"when women cry....its always just their hormones acting up."

SERIOUSLY, I couldnt believe I heard that coming SERIOUSLY from someones mouth....I was in shock and it took me a good few minutes to realize just how sexist and awful it was....I almost cried.

Hahaha...just kidding...I didnt cry, I was too indignite...I'll have you know, that of the three times I cried today-two of them were over movies and the other one was while I was praying, all very good reasons-SO THERE. ;-P

*sigh*

Its 8:10AM and I am struggling against today.

lions and tigers and bears...oh my!

or should I say... cats and horses and puppies ( and rabbits)...OOOOH MYYYYY!

Yup, strangely enough my family was given the task of taking care of three different people's animals for them this week...
Actually, the cats are just my responsiblity and Steve and Billie are coming back today....
BUT, crazy pills, my Dad is taking care of our neighbors horses, dogs and rabbits this next week while they are on vaction...which is fine, he has always wanted a horse, so it sort of fulfills a dream. But, then to ADD to the animal madness...some other friends called and asked if they could leave their brand new puppy with us for 5 days...
WHOOOOA.

So the question is, do we LOOK like we are starved for animal attention? I think our cat would beg to differ....

ooo...she is NOT going to be happy about the puppy... I am not going to be the one to tell her. :-(

warning: it IS one of those days...

yeah, I never thought I would be one of these people, that I would stoop to such a low low level...but I have.

I post waaay more than once a day on average.
*sigh*
I blame my job.
But all people with addiction problems usually blame something right?

I am hungry and its only 10:30. I had a very nice breakfast ( thanks to Papa who got out of bed and made me coffee and wrapped up a yummy piece of blueberry coffee cake to go) not very long ago...so this only PROVES how bored I really am.

i am considering starting another blog to fill with boring rants like this so that my readers dont have as much to read- but then, where would I draw the line? just about ALL of my rants are "boring"....
yup, looks like you are doomed, dear reader...

check list switch-o

So, as you know I had a lot of things to do yesterday that didnt get to done because I was at work from 7-5:30...and now,as we enter Tuesday, I realize it will be another day at least before they get done...another loooong day at work.
Now, I realize thousands, nay millions, of Americans have full days of work-but they at least have full lunch breaks...I do not. BUT, lets just say I did...I really dont think I could get any of the things on my list done in an hour or whatever...how do people DO IT? I am so impressed.
As much as I think I am a grown up...I obviously couldnt swing it full time ;-)

My list of things to do:
Get my oil changed in my car. ( cant do this after 5)
Sign papers for my RETIREMENT ( can you believe it?) package at Bank ( cant do this after 5)
Mail a package ( just found out I can go to Wrap-it-up until 6...woo. one down)


So strike that....I cant do my check list today...so I've made a new one.

My list of things to do ( at work):
Write Email to ___.
Write Email to ___.
Write Email to ___.
Write blog. (check!)


Wooo.


Oh, I didnt mention it, but I am not feeling so hot...my throat hurts and my nose is running....plus I have ulcers on my tongue BOO!

Rant:

Ok, so as you know i am working all day today- and my wonderful boss told me to go "take a break" at around 2PM....I decided to go to Sonic and get their new "Cookie Dough Blast"...I was excited. It was going to bring joy to my otherwise dreary day....

I get my "cookie dough blast" it has little bits of cookie dough sprinkled over the top...Yum! my mouth watered with anticipation.
I drive away...traffic is horrible...I finally start eating my blast...turns out it consists of a big cup of soft-serve ice-cream ( vanilla) and a few bits of cookie dough sprinkled on the top all for the low low price of $2.19

RIP OFF!!!!

I hate you Sonic, if you didnt have the best fast food in town I wouldnt visit you ever again...but who am I kidding...i'll be back tomorrow :...-(

plain jane american girl ;-)

Your Linguistic Profile:

70% General American English

20% Dixie

5% Upper Midwestern

5% Yankee

0% Midwestern

What Kind of American English Do You Speak?

shocking...

>

Your Geek Profile:

Fashion Geekiness: Moderate

Movie Geekiness: Moderate

Music Geekiness: Moderate

Academic Geekiness: Low

Internet Geekiness: Low

Gamer Geekiness: None

Geekiness in Love: None

General Geekiness: None

SciFi Geekiness: None

How Geeky Are You?

errands...arent happening

Well, looks like I'll be working all day today! Poor Dee has food poisoning. Meeeeh!

I had so many things to do today, as well...

At least I am going to see Cinderella Man tonight...THAT should be fun ;-)

I'm bored.

Saving the Best for Last...

I was on my way home tonight....I had just gotten off of the phone with Carmi ( darn bad reception in the country). I turned on the radio and these words sang to me...

" Isnt this world a crazy place?
Just when I thought our chance had past
You go and save the best for last."

Oh yes, I DO realize that is from a very cheesy 90s song by Vanessa Williams....but it really spoke to me about my mindset.
I think so often I think about the Fight that we are in in this life and I just spoke a few posts back about the Victory we have in Christ-and yet, I still feel like I need a reminder....a reminder of things to come....things that are not yet revealed....we often think of death as this horrible thing that stops a beautiful life...and while life is a beautiful thing-the Best has been saved for last- this world does not hold my heart. My heart is in a Greater place.

This quote has been on a stickynote on my computer desk top for weeks-it brings tears to my eyes and it holds within it a hope that I sometimes need reminding of....may it bring you Hope tonight:

" Is this the End, Gandalf?"

"The journey doesn't end here. Death is another path. One we all must take. The grey curtain of this world rolls back and all turns to silver grass. And then you see it...."

"What? See what?"

"White shores and beyond...the fair great country and a swift sunrise."

"Well...that isnt so bad, is it?"

" No, no it is not...."
~ Lord of the Rings: Return of the King

sorry boys...

Have you ever found that when people ask you what your favorite movie or book is...or some other generic question like that, that you find yourself thinking "what are they going to think about me when I answer?"
Its ALMOST tempting to change your answer to suit the person who's asking...it reminds me of the friends episode where the girls loose the apartment to the boys when they play the trivia game about each other....one of the questions was "What movie does Rachel say is her favorite?"
the next question was "What is really her favorite movie?"

Its a very funny scene, especially because I think there is a little reality in that for all of us.
But, while its tempting...I dont think I have ever actually stooped to LYING about my favorite movie...besides I have several favorites- Lord of the Rings: Return of the King is waaaay up at the top so I think I would probably give it as my answer more than any other...besides I think that a lot of people would really be able to appreciate it and connect with me more-I know that both guys and girls can really appreciate it for its BRILLIANCE.
BUT, today I was watching a movie that ties for number one, as far as me being able to watch it over and over, and well, I realized today that I dont give it as much credit in my list of favorites I always put it towards the bottom...I think I'm almost embarrassed or something!

BUT NO MORE! I dont care if you think I am a shallow girly girl who like fluffy movies...because it turns out I DO. I DO like fluffy girly girl movies....( shallow is debateable)

I LOVE the movie "You've Got Mail".

I started watching it again this morning and I couldnt help but smile the WHOLE time...I know all the words, I think I could actually quote along with the actors.
I LOVE it...because:
The writing theme throughout...the love interest STARTS because they enjoy reading each others emails.
We ALL know how much I appreciate emails ;-)
Meg Ryan runs a book store. It is such a cute store, if I was to have unlimited money I would start a book store JUST LIKE that! I also love the children's book references in the movie...they arent your generic kiddy books...no, they are CLASSICS. Its also a dream of mine to be the "story time lady".
There are also so many conversations I identify with, Tom Hank's character lamenting about being rude and sarcastic to someone who hurt him instead of just being the bigger man...or Meg Ryan's character who finds herself drawing a "blank" when wanting to say something to defend herself...
Oddly enough, I've found myself in BOTH of those shoes...
I love how much Pride and Prejudice is appreciated in the movie.
I love the soundtrack...its so happy.
I love the scene where Meg Ryan's character is sick in bed with a cold...and then when she trys to hid all the kleenex's under pillows when Tom Hanks comes to call...awwww! its so cute!
I also love that scene because she carries the vase of daisies around with her the whole time. I love daisies...they ARE the friendliest flower!!
Yes, I cheer along with this movie. I identify with it so much.


So, I really should tell people its at the top of my list with RotK...because it DOES say a lot about my character-it just isnt the hard defensive shell I usually portray. So admitting to it...is letting down that hard outer covering and admitting that I am a romantic through and through.
Its true.

tonight my heart says:

just downloaded "Homesick" by mercyme off of itunes....

just read " Here we have no continuing city, but we seek the one to come." ( Heb 13;14)

Friends, I admit sometimes I get so consumed with my life...what I want it to be, what it is, what it isnt....all of these things fog my vision.
I find myself without rest. I find myself falling short of all expectations...loosing sight of my Life ( with a capital L).
"There remains therefore a rest for the people of God." Heb. 4:9

But that rest is not here. That rest is not now.
For now is for fight, now is for war....

And while I know this...I know the fight is on, I know that if I dont fight I will fail...I know that I will fall, just as I fell today...

I close my eyes and I see your face. If home is where my heart is then I am out of place, Lord wont you give me strength to make it through somehow. I've never been so homesick than now."

Oh! Oh! And I love Ps 25....especially in the King James Version ( dont know why....) go read it right now

this is the part that particularly spoke to me tonight
....HIS SOUL SHALL DWELL AT EASE; and his seed shall inherit the earth.The secret of the LORD is with them that fear him; and he will shew them his covenant.Mine eyes are ever toward the LORD; for he shall pluck my feet out of the net. Turn thee unto me, and have mercy upon me; for I am desolate and afflicted. The troubles of my heart are enlarged: O bring thou me out of my distresses.Look upon mine affliction and my pain; and forgive all my sins. Consider mine enemies; for they are many; and they hate me with cruel hatred. O keep my soul, and deliver me: let me not be ashamed; for I put my trust in thee. Let integrity and uprightness preserve me; for I wait on thee. Redeem Israel, O God, out of all his troubles....

I pray for my friends tonight that are stressed, those who feel the waves have gotten too high that they can no longer see Jesus walking towards them on the water. I know that the Lord will take your hand this day...

*tap tap on the mike of life*

Today I've been listening to a band called Sullivan. I know the boys in the band from my days of youth...well, actually only one of them... the others I just knew from high school days....annnnyway, I havent heard their music since high school-and I have to say I was realitively impressed. Improvement has definitely been made.
I am pretty hard to impress when it comes to music, I dont just go with the general concensus....sometimes I think I am a snob. Ah well.

I've been bitten by some sort of bug. my arm is itching like crazy pills.
:phone buzzes in my pocket:
AAAAAHHHHHH! I just got a phone call from my sister....
~
Trinity, I am SOOOO EXCITED for you guys!!!! :-)

face hurting laughter

there some really cool delights in life....

talking to really cool chicks about really cool books being turned into movies ( Lion the Witch and the Waredrobe and Pride and Prejudice)...fun!

Laughing hard with my sister for several hours.

Coffee in the morning at a coffee house while watching the people.....

Yup, I'm at Java Jacks this morning, I am still a bit on the tired grumpy side but I am doing my darndest to perk up.
Yesterday I wrote 20 emails to emma which took up an entire day of work to do...but at least she cant say this about emails again....
But turns out today was a crazy as day at work, I mean, you have ONE holiday and its like everyone goes buck wild at the hospital getting CTs of every part of their body....
So between actually working and filling up the inbox of a friend I didnt have time to blog...

I really wanted to have coffee with Katie...ahhh....but looks like that didnt get to happen. Boo. Maybe today? I'll call her when I know she's awake...its only 9AM.

Man, this blog is boring.

I am boring myself....
Movies I want to see this summer:

Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants
Cinderella Man
Mr and Mrs. Smith
Batman Begins
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory
( I do not want to see War of the Worlds because Tom Cruise annoys me more than any other actor)

Things I am excited about:
Going to Italy.