If you didnt...well, I dont want to know ;-)
I am back in Nacogdoches, after the longest three hour drive EVER. Uggg....rain the whole way :-(
I had a delightful time ( it was everything I needed it to be AND MORE)...and I am sure I'll tell you all about it tomorrow, but for now I am off to take a hot hot shower, unpack...and give candy to trick-or-treaters. wooooooooooo!
October 31, 2005
October 28, 2005
run, run like the wind!
So, yesterday was a crap day. Yes, I know...thats not nice of me to say...but seriously, I tried out several words before finally going back to that one, and none of them fully expressed the badness of the bad day of yesterday. ;-)
I'm not going to go into it, at all, but suffice to say...I two good things came out of yesterday:
The Help of my Helper:
As I was leaving my sisters house last night, she said, "Yeah, maybe we should pray about this." And then we both laughed...because, well, maybe doesnt EVEN cover it! So I went home...and I rebuked all of the 'crap'...and then I took up all of the good things i could possibly think of...and then I feel asleep. Very good.
A decision:
I'm going away...today.
Yes, I havent offically CALLED Aunt Donnave yet..but as soon as I am through with work today...I'm going out of town for the weekend...something I've tried, and then failed to do several times in the last few months ;-) ....but the events of the past week make it nearly IMPOSSIBLE for me NOT to go away!! I need to get in my car, and drive...and sing to praise music...and pray...and look at the scenery...and yell at bad drivers....yes, it will be wonderful...and that's even before I get to my destination!
I'm still a bit on the "sick" side, but I am MUCH better! *stop for a second to rant*
Why is it that when you FEEL really bad, you dont sound bad or look bad and therefore no one feels sorry for you...but then, when you start to feel better your voice gets horse and gross...and you look way worse...and everyone feels much more sorry for you?!?
And therefore, I am off...I am out of here...and I will NOT be checking my blog, checking my email, reading other peoples blogs or commenting for the next several days. I havent had a break from "this world" in a while, and I think I need one...soo....see you on the flipside dear ones!
Wish me well!
October 27, 2005
tea baggage
So, this morning, I've been drinking tea....its so good on the throat...but, now its all gone and I must resort to http://www.cadburyadams.com/brands/throat_drops/halls_vitaminc.html and giant bottle of water..*sigh*
I hate being sick...I mean, is it EVER at a good time? I mean, sometimes, say...on rainy days...I've often thought: Man, it would be the perfect day to be sick.
But, I think even then what I am <em>actually</em> thinking is "its the perfect day to stay in bed with a good book."
Because, in actuality when you're sick...you can't even concentrate on a good book....
Last night, I was SO very sad...I was having to fight off all SORTS of lies that kept coming into my head. I think its so easy to be attacked spiritually when your actual body is rundown...I mean, if you read my journal it pretty much just says: "Lord, help me."
I know, pitiful right?
But, God is good...he listens to the very groans of our spirit:
Rom8:26 In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express.
...and I think that last night is a good example of that....
October 26, 2005
I feel eeeky
meeeh....I feel so ill.
I've taken a huge handfull of drugs...I'm practically pouring water down my throat...and now I am going to bed with The Fellowship...
But, to tell you the truth I'm feeling a tad melancholy....
I've taken a huge handfull of drugs...I'm practically pouring water down my throat...and now I am going to bed with The Fellowship...
But, to tell you the truth I'm feeling a tad melancholy....
Hello, I'm a girl...make me feel insecure.
Today, I did two things that I hate:
I went and got the oil changed on my car. And I went to the hardware store.
I hate getting my oil changed, because EVERYTIME I go they try to tell me I need something ELSE done to my car...now, i wasnt born yesterday, and I am not about to get anything but my oil changed at an oil changing place...everything else gets to be done by my normal car doctor ;-) ...but I HATE that they always try to sell me other stuff...because, technically they COULD be telling me the truth, and I really COULD have a huge problem with my car...but I wouldnt know. That's one of the reasons I hate going...the OTHER is I HATE having to pull over that big hole in the ground...where they go under and look at the bottom of my car...I hate watching the guy with the oily hands and shirt directing me to come forward, leeeeft....nooo...riiiight...no, wait! Stop! Stop!
I always mess up...I always have to be told to stop and try again.....boo.
I also hate going to the hardware store...because i have NO IDEA about anything that they sell there. I pretty much have to rely on the staff to direct me where I need to go...and I KNOW that as soon as I walk in, everyone in there knows I dont belong.
It is really only on days like this that I wish I had a boyfriend....someone who I could ask sweetly to go with me on these little manly adventures. Seriously. Most of the time, I am JUST FINE on my own...and, well, I guess technically I was fine today too...but, well, I felt sick and my throat hurt...meeeeh.....and just wanted to go home and go to bed.
In conclusion:
Today, I needed a Mommy to take car of me and a boyfriend to do manly tasks for me.
The End.
I went and got the oil changed on my car. And I went to the hardware store.
I hate getting my oil changed, because EVERYTIME I go they try to tell me I need something ELSE done to my car...now, i wasnt born yesterday, and I am not about to get anything but my oil changed at an oil changing place...everything else gets to be done by my normal car doctor ;-) ...but I HATE that they always try to sell me other stuff...because, technically they COULD be telling me the truth, and I really COULD have a huge problem with my car...but I wouldnt know. That's one of the reasons I hate going...the OTHER is I HATE having to pull over that big hole in the ground...where they go under and look at the bottom of my car...I hate watching the guy with the oily hands and shirt directing me to come forward, leeeeft....nooo...riiiight...no, wait! Stop! Stop!
I always mess up...I always have to be told to stop and try again.....boo.
I also hate going to the hardware store...because i have NO IDEA about anything that they sell there. I pretty much have to rely on the staff to direct me where I need to go...and I KNOW that as soon as I walk in, everyone in there knows I dont belong.
It is really only on days like this that I wish I had a boyfriend....someone who I could ask sweetly to go with me on these little manly adventures. Seriously. Most of the time, I am JUST FINE on my own...and, well, I guess technically I was fine today too...but, well, I felt sick and my throat hurt...meeeeh.....and just wanted to go home and go to bed.
In conclusion:
Today, I needed a Mommy to take car of me and a boyfriend to do manly tasks for me.
The End.
wake up to it...
I have a sore throat....I'm achy alllll ooooover.....
and to make matters entirely worse: The kitchen is totally gross from two nights ago....
I feel like crying.
and to make matters entirely worse: The kitchen is totally gross from two nights ago....
I feel like crying.
October 25, 2005
Good Vs. Evil
At the moment two books are sitting on my bed...one is The Lord of the Rings and the other is The Once and Future King...truly the opposite ends of the spectum of goodness....of course, it could be ( rightly) argued that TOaFK is good literature...but personally I find it HORRIBLE....and Amy was right a few days ago to comment that it was the loss of innocence for King Aurthur and for me the reader...anyway, its sitting on my bed because my mother just gave me back my copy...which she's been using in her freshman english classroom for years now. She uses my copy as an example of how to "get through" books that you dont like, but have to read as an assignment...you see, years ago...*i* took freshman english-back when my mother wasnt teaching it and THIS horrible book was taught ( of course, as soon as my mother took over the class she switched from TOaFK straight on over to TLotR...and never looked back)...and my good friend Amy took the class too...except in the FIRST semester...while I took it in the second, so we shared the book...and did what any 15 year old girl that hates a book will do: We wrote commentary throughout...along with helpful notes and hints for the class....this beloved/hated book was then passed on to future generations...and in the end a total of five girls read the book and wrote comments in it....making a horrible book full of scarring stories about boiling cats alive into a book you can read without having ( too) many nightmares...because of all the satire and jokes about various assignments that we thought were pointless...
And all these years later I can read through all those comments and smile at my fifteen year old self ! :-) So, Amy, Tiffany, Emily, and Jodee...thanks for making the words of T.H. White bareable.
Now, last night I read arguably my FAVORITE chapter in The Fellowship..."Lothlorien" here are my fav. quotes from this WONERFUL passage:
Boromir: "But of that perilous land we have heard in Gondor, and it is said that few come out who once go in; and of that few none have escaped unscathed."
"Say no unscathed, but if you say unchanged, then maybe you will speak the truth, said Aragorn. "
About sleeping up in the trees:
I hope, if I do go to sleep in this bed-loft, that I shan't roll of, (Pippin) said.
Once I go do get to sleep,' said Sam, "I shall go on sleeping, whether I roll off or no. And the less said, the sooner I'll drop off, if you take my meaning."
" Alas for the folly of these days! said Legola. "Here all are enemies of the one Enemy, and yet I must walk blind, while the sun is merry in the woodland under leaves of gold!"
Said of Lothlorien: The world is indeed full of peril and in the it there are many dark places, but still there is much that is fair, and though in all lands love is now mingled with grief, it grows perhaps the greater."
"A light was upon it for which his language had no name. All that he saw was shapely , but the shapes seemed at once clear cut, as if they had been first conceived and drawn at the uncovering of his eyes, and ancient as if they had endured forever. He saw no color but those he knew, gold and white and blue and green, but they were fresh and poignant, as if he had at that moment first perceived them and made for them names new and wonderful. In winter here no heart could mourn for summer or for spring. No blemish or sickness or deformity could be seen in anything that grew upon the earth. On the land of Lorien thee was no stain."
Aragorn to Frodo:
"Here is the heart of Elvendom on earth, and here my heart dwells ever, unless there be a light beyond the dark roads that we still must tread you and I. Come with me!" And taking Frodo's hand in his, he left the hill of Cerin Amroth and came there never again as living man."
*whew!* Now THAT that gives me goosebumps!
And all these years later I can read through all those comments and smile at my fifteen year old self ! :-) So, Amy, Tiffany, Emily, and Jodee...thanks for making the words of T.H. White bareable.
Now, last night I read arguably my FAVORITE chapter in The Fellowship..."Lothlorien" here are my fav. quotes from this WONERFUL passage:
Boromir: "But of that perilous land we have heard in Gondor, and it is said that few come out who once go in; and of that few none have escaped unscathed."
"Say no unscathed, but if you say unchanged, then maybe you will speak the truth, said Aragorn. "
About sleeping up in the trees:
I hope, if I do go to sleep in this bed-loft, that I shan't roll of, (Pippin) said.
Once I go do get to sleep,' said Sam, "I shall go on sleeping, whether I roll off or no. And the less said, the sooner I'll drop off, if you take my meaning."
" Alas for the folly of these days! said Legola. "Here all are enemies of the one Enemy, and yet I must walk blind, while the sun is merry in the woodland under leaves of gold!"
Said of Lothlorien: The world is indeed full of peril and in the it there are many dark places, but still there is much that is fair, and though in all lands love is now mingled with grief, it grows perhaps the greater."
"A light was upon it for which his language had no name. All that he saw was shapely , but the shapes seemed at once clear cut, as if they had been first conceived and drawn at the uncovering of his eyes, and ancient as if they had endured forever. He saw no color but those he knew, gold and white and blue and green, but they were fresh and poignant, as if he had at that moment first perceived them and made for them names new and wonderful. In winter here no heart could mourn for summer or for spring. No blemish or sickness or deformity could be seen in anything that grew upon the earth. On the land of Lorien thee was no stain."
Aragorn to Frodo:
"Here is the heart of Elvendom on earth, and here my heart dwells ever, unless there be a light beyond the dark roads that we still must tread you and I. Come with me!" And taking Frodo's hand in his, he left the hill of Cerin Amroth and came there never again as living man."
*whew!* Now THAT that gives me goosebumps!
I have a sore throat...
I've been fighting off a bad mood all day...but, on the plus side, I get FOUR days off for Thanksgiving...which makes up for having to work Christmas and my birthday ( sort of)
which speaking of my birthday...we'll be starting the countdown to my GOLDEN BIRTHDAY in the next few days...woo...something for everyone to look forward to, aye? hahahahahaha!
But, you know what I realized the other day? That this birthday marks the last birthday that I've look forward to in my life...from here on, its just a birthday...kinda sad....ooooh weeeeelllll....
So, hey, dont have much to say today...just posting because I'm bored, and I have a feeling I'm not going to get any more comments on my previous post, so time to move forward, right?
Ok, so grasping at straws....As you may remember for a post script from yesterday, I've started knitting again, which is generally relaxing..and yet, since both of my hands are busy whilest doing it...I end up listening to a lot of music, and watching a lot of Family Guy. hehe.
I'm boring myself....I'll leave you alone now....
October 24, 2005
What's with the madness now?
So, it all started with crazy stalker ( aka. Paul) which was cool...because turns out Paul wasnt a crazy stalker at all...and instead was a really nice person whom has some deep things to say sometimes that I agree with, and they make me think ;-)...and then...
Then, through Carmi I met her friend Merissa from South Africa...who Carmi hasnt actually SEEN since she was like 12 or something...but that doesnt really matter because she's got a blog...and I read it....and turns out she has a heart that I understand...and besides, she says "Blast"...which we all know is one of my favorite things to say...now, she's become a regular on "The Panel" discussion group ( I just came up with that name by the way, but it works)...
...Then there was the random comment from Sarah, who turned out to have a really awesome blog filled with quotes that delight the soul....and so I replied to her comment...and then I actually got mentioned in her most recent post ( which in blogger world is the utmost exciting thing)....
And now there's this person who Carmi ( again!) came upon whilest blog surfing...and thus "recommended" me to....I just read the person's blog and I thought...wow, they seem really cool too...
Is it ODD that I am starting to find these "internet" people totally interesting?! I guess if I find myself spending ALL of my time on the internet instead of with real, live people...well, then we've got ourselves a serious problem-but till then...
Who else havent i met?
~~~~~
Now, to being "normal" again: I've spent the evening knitting and listening to Billie Holiday...I'm thinking about a cup of tea...I am feeling down right cozy...hey, and did I mention I am back to wear in my NZ hoodie again? Yay! Security Blanket that you can wear! :-)
Then, through Carmi I met her friend Merissa from South Africa...who Carmi hasnt actually SEEN since she was like 12 or something...but that doesnt really matter because she's got a blog...and I read it....and turns out she has a heart that I understand...and besides, she says "Blast"...which we all know is one of my favorite things to say...now, she's become a regular on "The Panel" discussion group ( I just came up with that name by the way, but it works)...
...Then there was the random comment from Sarah, who turned out to have a really awesome blog filled with quotes that delight the soul....and so I replied to her comment...and then I actually got mentioned in her most recent post ( which in blogger world is the utmost exciting thing)....
And now there's this person who Carmi ( again!) came upon whilest blog surfing...and thus "recommended" me to....I just read the person's blog and I thought...wow, they seem really cool too...
Is it ODD that I am starting to find these "internet" people totally interesting?! I guess if I find myself spending ALL of my time on the internet instead of with real, live people...well, then we've got ourselves a serious problem-but till then...
Who else havent i met?
~~~~~
Now, to being "normal" again: I've spent the evening knitting and listening to Billie Holiday...I'm thinking about a cup of tea...I am feeling down right cozy...hey, and did I mention I am back to wear in my NZ hoodie again? Yay! Security Blanket that you can wear! :-)
The Fifth Season
So, as I've mentioned a good million jillion times I write in journals all over the place...I've had up to four going at once, but no longer...its all about simplifying! hehe...yes, I am down to this blog and then I've combined my "personal thoughts" and "prayer journal" into one totally awesome journal. Now, I usually write in this journal everyday...sometimes pages and pages of prayers....sometimes just a jotted scripture that's spoken to me that day...anywho, without even calculating...I seem to have a regular pattern of filling up a whole journal in about six months-give or take a few days. And, as I finished up a journal this past week I thought about how I feel about the "journal ending" and the "journal beginning"...and it has definitely turned into some sort of subconscious spiritual season evaluator.
Usually as I finish up a journal I read back through the whole thing...skipping around reading a day here or there...it never fails to be encouraging and convicting all at the same time!
In doing the read through I find it beyond praise at how God truly answers prayers! I also find it incredible how easily I forget this....but, its when I am look at day after day all together I can see the pattern of prayers and answers....
In the same way, however...when I read back I see prayers that I've felt conviction over that I need to have more perserverance in...things that I know I still need to lift up...
I am also humbled by how LONG I've struggled with certain problems...certain sins...I mean, I can look back through YEARS worth of journals and find the same reaccuring themes.
But, isnt our God faithful? Isnt that what this Life is all about? Fighting onwards day by day. Last night in church, it was mentioned in the sermon that it is an honorable thing to get back up again and again from our failings and continue to ask for forgiveness and help. I think so often the Devil Lies..and shoves our failures in our face...so that we loose heart...this should never be! It really struck me...how often I believe the Lies...and stop the fight.
Anyway, the end of a journal also marks the BEGINNING of a new one...and OH! how I love this! I love the new paper...a EMPTY book without any of my scribbles yet blotting the pages...it holds such hope...as in, maybe this time my handwritting wont be as bad...maybe this time...I will have great joys to share in this journal! Great victories recorded! This journal, not yet written in, does not hold ANY of my failings as of yet...it doesnt have ANY bad days...it doesnt have any woes..or struggles....its brandnew.
And isnt that just how each day is with the Lord? We wake up, New every morning...He wipes us clean...He looks at us, not with all our past sins piled up on top of us, littering our pages...but totally empty, fresh...ready for a new chapter to be written...a chapter with Him as King!
I always pick some scripture or maybe a hymn to put on the first page of each journal...one main reason was that if I ever lost my journal and someone opened it up...it wouldnt have my personal thoughts on the FIRST page at least! ;-)
But, another reason is a reminder...that while the rest of the pages will be filled with the ups and downs of one girl...it is ALL preceded but the Truth that reigns over that very ups and downs filled life...THAT is constant...THAT stays the same...no matter, what winds may blow, what rains may wash away...
In my last journal the First page contains the
"Lead On O King Eternal"
Lead on, O King eternal,
The day of march has come;
Henceforth in fields of conquest
Thy tents shall be our home.
Through days of preparation
Thy grace has made us strong;
And now, O King eternal,
We lift our battle song.
Lead on, O King eternal,
Till sin’s fierce war shall cease,
And holiness shall whisper
The sweet amen of peace.
For not with swords’ loud clashing,
Nor roll of stirring drums;
With deeds of love and mercy
The heavenly kingdom comes.
Lead on, O King eternal,
We follow, not with fears,
For gladness breaks like morning
Where’er Thy face appears.
Thy cross is lifted over us,
We journey in its light;
The crown awaits the conquest;
Lead on, O God of might.
Feeling good....
...considering I was awakened at 3AM by a car alarm...which then proceeded to go off for ten minute spirts for the next two hours...which of course, woke up the dog downstairs....
yes, it was good times had by all...
all I can say is, thank GOODNESS for my ipod. I felt like I was reverting back to when I was a very young child, because I listened to the same gospel music my parents use to play to me...the same music I listened to during my first month in NZ when i lived on the first floor ( right next to the lift/elevator) of UniCol ( the most evil, party dorm/hall ever) when I could hear people throwing up outside my window.....I think its my all-time "calm down, its going to be ok" music.
But, seriously, I am really not THAT tired today...of course, I think the Jack Hammer ( a combo of shot of espresso and a cup of regular coffee) that I am still drinking from this morning is helpful...as well, as the EXCELLENT cooler weather that is happening outside. :-)
So, I am happy...
October 23, 2005
What I wish...
So, sometimes these things come to me....and usually I just do a little dreaming and then I move on, but tonight I'm gonna share ;-)
So here are tonights "day" dreams:
1. I wish...that I could go to New Zealand in January and roadtrip down to Dunedin with Emma and Lydia when they head back for summerschool/job.
2. I wish...I could go watch Sam perform in Beauty and the Beast.
3. I wish...I could go spend New Years with Kristy ( and crew!) in Hong Kong.
4. I wish....I could go to South Africa with Carmi when she goes to stay with her father at his house by the sea.
5. I wish...I could sit down and have long conversations with Tabitha....and Penny.....and Louise.....and SO MANY others....
Because ultimately I want to hug my friends, laugh with my friends ( face to face), I want to talk for hours...I want to pray with them...and be able to reach out and touch them....I want to have multiple coffees with them....I want to look at their beautiful little faces....
*sigh*
Instead, I'm going to take some drugs for these cramps, read some LotR and go to bed, so I can get up and go to work tomorrow....
Whoa, so this post sounds really depressed-but, I'm not...I really am not. I mean, I just read over my wishes...and I realized how truly truly blessed I am to HAVE such friends to miss! I mean, how wonderful! How blessed! And I also feel sure that even if I dont get ANY of the above wishes ( which, well, lets face it...I probably wont)...I am still perfectly satisfied with what I've been given....it just makes it a lot more dramatic when you contrast the amazing wishes with a little bit of the everyday...
But, I shant forget, without the everyday....those days on the beach in Fiji just arent as special :-)
So here are tonights "day" dreams:
1. I wish...that I could go to New Zealand in January and roadtrip down to Dunedin with Emma and Lydia when they head back for summerschool/job.
2. I wish...I could go watch Sam perform in Beauty and the Beast.
3. I wish...I could go spend New Years with Kristy ( and crew!) in Hong Kong.
4. I wish....I could go to South Africa with Carmi when she goes to stay with her father at his house by the sea.
5. I wish...I could sit down and have long conversations with Tabitha....and Penny.....and Louise.....and SO MANY others....
Because ultimately I want to hug my friends, laugh with my friends ( face to face), I want to talk for hours...I want to pray with them...and be able to reach out and touch them....I want to have multiple coffees with them....I want to look at their beautiful little faces....
*sigh*
Instead, I'm going to take some drugs for these cramps, read some LotR and go to bed, so I can get up and go to work tomorrow....
Whoa, so this post sounds really depressed-but, I'm not...I really am not. I mean, I just read over my wishes...and I realized how truly truly blessed I am to HAVE such friends to miss! I mean, how wonderful! How blessed! And I also feel sure that even if I dont get ANY of the above wishes ( which, well, lets face it...I probably wont)...I am still perfectly satisfied with what I've been given....it just makes it a lot more dramatic when you contrast the amazing wishes with a little bit of the everyday...
But, I shant forget, without the everyday....those days on the beach in Fiji just arent as special :-)
October 22, 2005
Part 2: The Fellowship "goodness"
So, here are some more of the quotes I've delighted in in the past few days....I am coming to the end of The Fellowship of the Ring...which is sad in a way...like saying goodbye to an old friend for another season....
but there's just a little bit more to treasure before its over...and then on to the next!
Merry: "You can trust us to stick to you through thick and thin-to the bitter end. And you can trust us to keep any secret of yours-closer than you keep it yourself. But you cannot trust us to let you face trouble alone, and go off without a word. We are your friends, Frodo."
This is pretty famous nowdays...but its WONDERFUL, and gives me chills every SINGLE time I read it:
All that is gold does not glitter,
Not all those who wander are lost;
The old that is strong does not wither,
Deep roots are not reached by the frost.
From the ashes a fire shall be woken,
A light from the shadows shall spring;
Renewed shall be blade that was broken,
The crownless again shall be king.
This one has personal meaning...and it really struck me this particular read through:
" I have," said Strider. "I dwelt there once, and still I return when I may. There my heart is; but it is not my fate to sit in peace, even in the fair house of Elrond."
Gandalf about Frodo: "Still that must be expected," said Gandalf to himself. "He is not half through yet, and to what he will come in the end not even Elrond can fortell. Not to evil, I think. He may become like a glass filled with a clear light for eyes to see that can."
This is what I want my dream house to be like:
...The Last Homely House east of the Sea. That house was, as Bilbo had long ago reported, " a perfect hourse, whether you like food or sleep or story-telling or singing, or just sitting and thinking best, or a pleasant mixture of them all."
This is what I think angels must be like:
Glorfindel was tall and straight; his hair was of shining gold; his face fair and young and fearless and full of joy; his eyes where bright and keen; and his voice like music; on his brow sat wisdom and in his hand was strength."
They spoke no more of the small news of the Shire far away, nor of the dark shadows and perils that encompassed them, but of the fair things they had seen in the world together, of the Elves, of the stars of trees, and the gentle fall of the bright year in the woods."
'Despair or folly?' said Gandalf. 'It is not despair, for despair is only for those who see the end beyond all doubt. We do not."
Aragorn: "We have passed no place on the way up that offered more shelter than this cliff-wall we are under now."
"Shelter!" muttered Sam, "If this is shelter, then one wall and no roof make a house."
but there's just a little bit more to treasure before its over...and then on to the next!
Merry: "You can trust us to stick to you through thick and thin-to the bitter end. And you can trust us to keep any secret of yours-closer than you keep it yourself. But you cannot trust us to let you face trouble alone, and go off without a word. We are your friends, Frodo."
This is pretty famous nowdays...but its WONDERFUL, and gives me chills every SINGLE time I read it:
All that is gold does not glitter,
Not all those who wander are lost;
The old that is strong does not wither,
Deep roots are not reached by the frost.
From the ashes a fire shall be woken,
A light from the shadows shall spring;
Renewed shall be blade that was broken,
The crownless again shall be king.
This one has personal meaning...and it really struck me this particular read through:
" I have," said Strider. "I dwelt there once, and still I return when I may. There my heart is; but it is not my fate to sit in peace, even in the fair house of Elrond."
Gandalf about Frodo: "Still that must be expected," said Gandalf to himself. "He is not half through yet, and to what he will come in the end not even Elrond can fortell. Not to evil, I think. He may become like a glass filled with a clear light for eyes to see that can."
This is what I want my dream house to be like:
...The Last Homely House east of the Sea. That house was, as Bilbo had long ago reported, " a perfect hourse, whether you like food or sleep or story-telling or singing, or just sitting and thinking best, or a pleasant mixture of them all."
This is what I think angels must be like:
Glorfindel was tall and straight; his hair was of shining gold; his face fair and young and fearless and full of joy; his eyes where bright and keen; and his voice like music; on his brow sat wisdom and in his hand was strength."
They spoke no more of the small news of the Shire far away, nor of the dark shadows and perils that encompassed them, but of the fair things they had seen in the world together, of the Elves, of the stars of trees, and the gentle fall of the bright year in the woods."
'Despair or folly?' said Gandalf. 'It is not despair, for despair is only for those who see the end beyond all doubt. We do not."
Aragorn: "We have passed no place on the way up that offered more shelter than this cliff-wall we are under now."
"Shelter!" muttered Sam, "If this is shelter, then one wall and no roof make a house."
I was awakened to the sound of barking...
But, it makes me feel better that people EVERYWHERE hate their neighbors too.
October 21, 2005
7 times 7
7 times 7
7 things I plan to do:
1.Write a novel...or something
2.Have a house where lots of people can come and say.
3.Learn to cook ( better).
4.Find a "hot holy boy" ( thanks for that, Carmi)
5.Eat lunch
6. Go back to NZ...at least for a visit.
7. Watch all three Extended Editions of Lord of the Rings in one sitting
7 things I can do:
1. Carry on conversation with just about anyone.
2. tell a story on demand
3. knit
4. have a cheerful voice on the phone no matter what my mood is.
5. cross just one eye
6. dance..when no one's watching
7. sing...in the shower
7 things I cant do:
1. Drive a car manually
2. Play the piano in public ( I can play in private)
3. Write with my righthand
4. rollerskate ( I have weak ankles ok!)
5. Talk on the phone and blog at the same time ( I've tried..its not possible)
6. Balance my checkbook without a calculator ( even then it takes HOURS)
7. Eat italian food while wearing a white shirt ( I WILL get sauce on it!)
7 Things that Scare me:
1. scorpions
2. drowning in a car
3. something bad happening to my friends
4. relationships
5. teletubbies
6. ending up with a horrible east texas accent
7. The Kool-aid mascot
7 Random things About me:
1. I have freakishly small feet
2. I can write backwards ( you can read it in a mirror)
3. I was a competitive swimmer for 10 years
4. I'm 5'6
5. I just have one sister.
6. I had ringlets until I was, like four, when I got my first haircut...and they never came back
7. I hate celery
7 Things I say:
1. Meeeeh.
2. Wooo wooo.
3. Speaking of...
4. Like nobodies business
5. Crazy pills
6. Oh.
7. Crazier than a coconut
7 things I plan to do:
1.Write a novel...or something
2.Have a house where lots of people can come and say.
3.Learn to cook ( better).
4.Find a "hot holy boy" ( thanks for that, Carmi)
5.Eat lunch
6. Go back to NZ...at least for a visit.
7. Watch all three Extended Editions of Lord of the Rings in one sitting
7 things I can do:
1. Carry on conversation with just about anyone.
2. tell a story on demand
3. knit
4. have a cheerful voice on the phone no matter what my mood is.
5. cross just one eye
6. dance..when no one's watching
7. sing...in the shower
7 things I cant do:
1. Drive a car manually
2. Play the piano in public ( I can play in private)
3. Write with my righthand
4. rollerskate ( I have weak ankles ok!)
5. Talk on the phone and blog at the same time ( I've tried..its not possible)
6. Balance my checkbook without a calculator ( even then it takes HOURS)
7. Eat italian food while wearing a white shirt ( I WILL get sauce on it!)
7 Things that Scare me:
1. scorpions
2. drowning in a car
3. something bad happening to my friends
4. relationships
5. teletubbies
6. ending up with a horrible east texas accent
7. The Kool-aid mascot
7 Random things About me:
1. I have freakishly small feet
2. I can write backwards ( you can read it in a mirror)
3. I was a competitive swimmer for 10 years
4. I'm 5'6
5. I just have one sister.
6. I had ringlets until I was, like four, when I got my first haircut...and they never came back
7. I hate celery
7 Things I say:
1. Meeeeh.
2. Wooo wooo.
3. Speaking of...
4. Like nobodies business
5. Crazy pills
6. Oh.
7. Crazier than a coconut
Science Fiction-ness
Soooo, this morning I woke up from this INSANE dream, which I can only discribe as science fiction on crazy pills...but, the reason I mention the dream is that I must have REALLY thought it was awesome AND real , because my body was totally sore, I had this odd pain in my neck and my body was in a starfish type stance when my alarm went off...meaning I must have ACTUALLY been crawling through that tunnel that had electric shock wire running along the outside of it...trying to escape the evil dictator who, I kid you not, looked like my friend Douglas.
Annnnywho, I wasnt in the BEST of moods while I was getting ready for work this morning, and it didnt make it ANY better that when I got to my car I saw that Evil Neighbor and Evil Daughter were both sitting outside having a Fag...and Evil Daughter leaned out of her chair to look at me.
ugg.
BUUUUT, you know what made this Friday morning worth it( besides the coffee) ? Well, I had TWENTY updated blogs to read this morning! awwwww....yous guys....it gave me SUCH a fuzzy feeling...even though, those of you that have blogger comments...I cant comment...and...that makes me sad( hint, hint haloscan is worth it, everyone) . But, the shear amount of reading I had to do was delightful, and luckily the noncommenting did not kill the buzz it provided :-)
There was something else I wanted to say....
Oh! Yes! My sister and I are going to a HIGH SCHOOL FOOTBALL GAME tonight! hahahah! I KNOW...and not only that, we are going to a "baby" highschool football game, meaning its one of those little bitty backwoods sort of towns....our friend Ramey is the band director there and we are going to catch his half-time show...I am actually really excited about this-especially since the weather FINALLY got cool(er) again...seriously, these summer tempatures did not help the electric bill this month :-(
But, back on subject: I really feel that football games should be watched in cooler weather...no matter what. And I am SURE that I'll have something cool to talk about tomorrow....
Speaking of good times with the sister: < Save the Last Dance and Pizza equals good times had by all....
P.S. Oh, and Anna, it DID come out my Junior year in Highschool...which probably DOES explain the dancing with all the black dudes at my Senior Prom....ahhh...it all makes sense now! ;-)
October 19, 2005
The Gated Emotions
So, I live in a "gated community", right? ( which sounds a lot flasher then it is!) And to get in the gate you have to put in your personal 4 digit code...of course, most of the time ( since there are about 200 apartments with an average of about two cars per apartment) there is a car in front of you, and you can tailgate them and get in without going to the trouble of putting in the code...waiting for the code to register...and then for the ( insanely) slow gate to open...
Today, after a loooong day at work where I ate only a little bag of chips and a cupcake, I was insanely irritated and ready to get home and make dinner ( low bloodsugar anyone?) ....I drove into the apartment complex just in time to see two cars in line for the gate...the first one put in the code and we all waited for it to slowly open...and then the inconcievable happened:
The car in front of me DID NOT go on through with the first car, but instead stopped in front of the security box and put in THEIR code!!!!!!
I couldnt believe it! These people were needlessly slowing down the process of me getting home and making dinner!
I threw my hands up in disgust whilest saying, " I cant believe it!"
At that exact moment, the person in the car in front of me, made eye contact with me in their rearview mirror...and, with great horror...I realized it was the evil neighbor that lives under me ( best known for her appearence in "okra vs. greenbeans" and "the owner of the evil dog")
meeeeh.
As we drove through the gate ( I did NOT put in my code...but followed her through like a normal person) I tried to decide what to do....drive slowly so that she has time to get home and get in her house?....wait in the car while she gets out, and avoid eye contact until the coast is clear?
I finally decided on a plan I thought had to be foolproof....the famous ( yet never used by me before) trick of the "fake phone conversation"
I arrive at our parking spots, get my phone out and begin my fake conversation as I get out of car and prepare to pass Evil Neighbor on the way to her door....
Me( into my phone): " Ooooh, I KNOW! I couldnt believe it either, *pause for fake person to respond*...mmmmhmmmm...."
( things were going well, and I was almost past E.N. when....
she turns and says :
( remember the hick accent)
EN: Excuse me?
Me: Yes? ( and then into my fake phone: "Hold on just a sec." )
EN: I just wanted to let you know why I didnt go through the gate with the first car....
Me: Oh!? ( trying to act suprised/innocent )
EN: Well, it is the RULES that we put in our OWN code everytime we go through the gate, and they are about to put up SECURITY CAMERAS to make sure everyone does.
Me: (I decide I've left my 'fake friend' hang to long, so I say into the phone again: "hey, hold on a second, ok?") Wow. I didnt realize that!
EN: Yeaaaahh, AAAAAND they are going to start FINEING people that dont put in their code, and...( paused for effect) start SENDING PEOPLE TO JAIL.
Me: (At this point the very shock of her overexaggeration of penalties for gate-miss-use drove me to slam my phone shut): OH! MY! Weeeelllll....I......thank you, so much, for letting me know! ( in my most cheerful telephone voice)
( At this point I get past Evil Neighbor and start heading up stairs, out of danger...but Evil Neighbor...is not through...she begins to elaborate on her threat)
EN: Yeah, and I think they are going to put up fliers really soon about this, so you really need to start following the rules.....
~~~
Ok, so that's pretty much the end of the story, the rest is pretty much as you could imagine: Me finally getting away, and going into my apartment and screaming....
So lets recap:
For ONE THING: How is it even POSSIBLE that after all of the honking at early hours ( she's awakened Katie and I several times when she honks at her dog while sitting in her car watching it run around)...not to mention her evil dog barking at ALL HOURS.... and the endless loud conversations for all to hear....how is it that *I* am the one who end up getting reprommanded by *her* ?!?! How is this POSSIBLE? Where is the justice in that???
For ANOTHER THING: Can you believe, I got caught having roadrage? And then ( probably) got caught having a fake phone call....am I THAT lame? ( the answer is yes)
*sigh* luckily its a really good story...one that is actually much better when I do the accents and handmotions along with it...so the next time you see me at a party, remind me to tell it to you again ;-)
Today, after a loooong day at work where I ate only a little bag of chips and a cupcake, I was insanely irritated and ready to get home and make dinner ( low bloodsugar anyone?) ....I drove into the apartment complex just in time to see two cars in line for the gate...the first one put in the code and we all waited for it to slowly open...and then the inconcievable happened:
The car in front of me DID NOT go on through with the first car, but instead stopped in front of the security box and put in THEIR code!!!!!!
I couldnt believe it! These people were needlessly slowing down the process of me getting home and making dinner!
I threw my hands up in disgust whilest saying, " I cant believe it!"
At that exact moment, the person in the car in front of me, made eye contact with me in their rearview mirror...and, with great horror...I realized it was the evil neighbor that lives under me ( best known for her appearence in "okra vs. greenbeans" and "the owner of the evil dog")
meeeeh.
As we drove through the gate ( I did NOT put in my code...but followed her through like a normal person) I tried to decide what to do....drive slowly so that she has time to get home and get in her house?....wait in the car while she gets out, and avoid eye contact until the coast is clear?
I finally decided on a plan I thought had to be foolproof....the famous ( yet never used by me before) trick of the "fake phone conversation"
I arrive at our parking spots, get my phone out and begin my fake conversation as I get out of car and prepare to pass Evil Neighbor on the way to her door....
Me( into my phone): " Ooooh, I KNOW! I couldnt believe it either, *pause for fake person to respond*...mmmmhmmmm...."
( things were going well, and I was almost past E.N. when....
she turns and says :
( remember the hick accent)
EN: Excuse me?
Me: Yes? ( and then into my fake phone: "Hold on just a sec." )
EN: I just wanted to let you know why I didnt go through the gate with the first car....
Me: Oh!? ( trying to act suprised/innocent )
EN: Well, it is the RULES that we put in our OWN code everytime we go through the gate, and they are about to put up SECURITY CAMERAS to make sure everyone does.
Me: (I decide I've left my 'fake friend' hang to long, so I say into the phone again: "hey, hold on a second, ok?") Wow. I didnt realize that!
EN: Yeaaaahh, AAAAAND they are going to start FINEING people that dont put in their code, and...( paused for effect) start SENDING PEOPLE TO JAIL.
Me: (At this point the very shock of her overexaggeration of penalties for gate-miss-use drove me to slam my phone shut): OH! MY! Weeeelllll....I......thank you, so much, for letting me know! ( in my most cheerful telephone voice)
( At this point I get past Evil Neighbor and start heading up stairs, out of danger...but Evil Neighbor...is not through...she begins to elaborate on her threat)
EN: Yeah, and I think they are going to put up fliers really soon about this, so you really need to start following the rules.....
~~~
Ok, so that's pretty much the end of the story, the rest is pretty much as you could imagine: Me finally getting away, and going into my apartment and screaming....
So lets recap:
For ONE THING: How is it even POSSIBLE that after all of the honking at early hours ( she's awakened Katie and I several times when she honks at her dog while sitting in her car watching it run around)...not to mention her evil dog barking at ALL HOURS.... and the endless loud conversations for all to hear....how is it that *I* am the one who end up getting reprommanded by *her* ?!?! How is this POSSIBLE? Where is the justice in that???
For ANOTHER THING: Can you believe, I got caught having roadrage? And then ( probably) got caught having a fake phone call....am I THAT lame? ( the answer is yes)
*sigh* luckily its a really good story...one that is actually much better when I do the accents and handmotions along with it...so the next time you see me at a party, remind me to tell it to you again ;-)
did I tell you about the time?
Right...so its one of those "work for ten hours straight" days...which means, I'm trying to spread out the internet fun. woo.
But, I just remembered I have a giant rant to share with you, which is exciting...but FIRST ( I am such a tease...you're going to have to stick around for the rant)
Do you ever have those mornings where, somehow your sleep patterns get out of whack and the alarm wakes you up out of a DEEP SLEEP. This morning was one of those mornings..and I was sooo confused when I finally came to...it was like, mommy, do I really have to go to school? where am I? what day is it? do I have a job? Why am I getting up? Seriously, it was crazy pills.
I'm on to my second bout of caffeine, which is bad, since after my bout of insamnia I've been trying to cut back...for instance, yesterday I only had like "this much" coffee...I was so proud of myself.
But, then I almost fell asleep during Gilmore Girls last night...and THAT wouldnt have been good ;-)
OK, so on to my rant...remember a few days ago how I told you to go buy the soundtrack to Elizabethtown instead, if you really wanted to see the movie? WELL, I TAKE IT BACK .
I had been listening to the CD in my car, but then I decided I wanted to listen to it in my room...but, I stuck it in my computer ( which is also my "stereo system" ) and it was like, "NO! we dont LIKE Apple computers, I will make your computer spit me back out!"
Now, this creates several problems...first, I now can ONLY listen to this ( not so great now that I think about it) CD in my car...I cant put it on my ipod because of the stupid "spitting out" thing...which THEY ( as in Sony productions) say is some sort of anti-pirating device...which I appreciate and yet DOUBT, since the CD plays JUST FINE on a PC...meaning, I could probably rip the CD if I really put my mind to it...and yet, now I am just in DISGUST.
I feel like, as the rightful owner of this CD, I should be able to play it however I feel...and one such way is on my MP3 player...yes, Sony is evil...they are so very obviously BAD LOSERS...I learned ( from my father who is knowledgable on the subject) that Sony has boycotted Apple and Apple products, so that all of their products do not work along side mac/apple products...not only is the spiteful, but also bad business sense...because, I AM RETURNING THIS CRAP CD TO TARGET.
Stay tuned for my annual ode to Journals....woooo
October 18, 2005
A reminder ...
Without question, this is the great mystery of our faith:
Christ was revealed in the flesh
and was shown to be righteous by the Spirit.
He was beheld by angels
and was proclaimed among the nations.
He was believed in the world
and was taken up into heaven. ( I Tim. 3:16)
Christ was revealed in the flesh
and was shown to be righteous by the Spirit.
He was beheld by angels
and was proclaimed among the nations.
He was believed in the world
and was taken up into heaven. ( I Tim. 3:16)
1pm tradeoff...
So, while I DID have to work both Saturday and Sunday ( making me miss both Sunday morning services!meh) and this coming weekend will be MORE of the same...I DO get to leave work at 1PM both today and friday...which, really, almost makes it worth it ;-)
*sigh* except for the missing church part-which is really never worth it. I dont think I REALLY realize just how important church is to my spirit until I miss it...and then, well, its like night and day.
But, God has been SO good already this week...a great weight was lifted off last night, and I am STILL running on happy because of it! Seriously, do you ever just realize how NOT worthy you are of a particular blessing? Even if its something tiny like making a conversation with a difficult person easier?
So, lets do a little emotional rundown of how I'm doing: pretty good, have gotten over the most recent bout of homesickness for New Zealand...one really nice thing has been getting to talk to Sam on MSN more...the child is a crack up and it does me great good. I also got to talk to Penny on the phone on Saturday night ( even though, I really SHOULD have been sleeping instead of talking )...I know that is shows how insecure I really am, but it always surprises me when other people say they miss me. I dont know, its a shock-I always figure its just on MY end! :-P
At the moment I'm eating multi-grain cheerios and drinking lots of water..they make me thirsty...I am working on a giant rant against Sony which I will be sharing with you in the next couple of days...as well as an annual rant about the joys of writing in a journal...and the even greater joy of starting a new journal after filling one up....
I am looking forward to going home and reading Lord of the Rings in bed for several hours...I really wish it wasnt 10:30....1PM seems so far away.
October 17, 2005
an open letter to my brother-in-law
I just sent this letter to my brother-in-law, and after writing it I decided others might be interested in it as well...really, its a question I would love to see everyone answer: What are your top five favorite books? Or if you're like me...and cant narrow it down..."what are the books that have influenced you the most over the years?"
Think about it and let me know....
Dear Ryan,
I have been meaning to write you for quite some time in regards to your request for my five favorite books...
At first, I didnt really think it was necessary to send you such a list, since you've most likely read ALL of the books on my list-buuuut, then Anna told me that it didnt really matter...and besides, it will be fun to document this!
In thinking about it, I dont know if I can keep this to five...but we'll see!
Instead of making a list of just my favorite books, this will also be a list of the books that have influenced me the most, and the books that made the biggest impression on me...
Calvin and Hobbes, By Bill Watterson
OK, suuuure this is technically a comicstrip. But I can truly give C&H credit for teaching me to read. In first grade I was actually in one of the lower reading groups in my class...and I actually struggled with it. Since I was the child, I dont really know what my parents and teachers attributed this to, but all *I* remember is that it was a chore to read...until I discovered Calvin and Hobbes...we had several books of these comic strips laying around the house, and I distinctly remember always wanting someone to read them to me...for some reason, no one ever would...so I would actually sit for long periods of time, looking at the pictures...sounding out the words...it did wonders for my reading skills-and I havent stopped since ;-)
Brambly Hedge: The Season Stories, By Jill Barklem: I LOVE(D) these stories...there are actually only four little stories...and they are pretty simple. Basically its about families of mice who live in the trunks and roots of these trees...the thing I sooo enjoyed about these books were the pictures. Barklem was also a very talented illustrator-basically there were these really intricate drawings of the inside of the trees....you could see all the little rooms and the furniture, in some of the pictures you could see the mice going about their day to day lives...ooooh maaaan, I use to sit and stare at those pictures for HOURS...making up my own stories about the mice that lived in the trees.
The Blue Sword By Robin McKinley...I use to read Robin McKinley's books over and over...adventure/fantasy books...that had NO literary value except that they were fun stories.
The Lord of the Rings By JRR Tolkien...I put this in here, only because that is when I first started reading them myself ( mama had probably read them out loud to me by the time I was 8)But...the love for them lives on....ooooh maaaan, I am reading them again at the moment-because I plan to teach my mothers class for a day on this subject...so I'm taking it really slow, savoring the words...stopping to highlight passages ( something I hate to do, because it gets you out of the groove of reading) and marking pages...but its WONDERFUL...
in fact, I havent gotten far and I already have a little collection of quotes that struck my fancy..
The Giver By Lois Lowry: I havent read this one in YEARS...and now that I think about it I should really give it another go...but the reason I put it on my list is what reading the book did to me:
First of all, the book was suggested to me by my fifth grade english teacher, who said that she had just finished reading it herself, and she thought I might really like it, since I was "advanced for my age" and was bored with the other books we were reading at the time. Now, I am sure The Giver is probably right at a fifth grade level. But, my teacher was clever and she probably knew what she was really giving me at the time...in a really difficult time in my life: confidence. I read the book...and loved it. In fact, I was going out of town with my mother that weekend-to cleburne, just the two of us for some reason...and i ended up reading it out loud to her in the car. I remember us discussing it a lot, all the themes that the book brought up...its the first time I remember really criticing a book and using a book to provoke thoughts about other subjects such as society or government or whatever. Anyway, in that respect I will always love this book. I will mark it as an important beginning in my love of literature. ( And the habit of discussing books with my mother ;-) )
Pride and Prejudice By Jane Austen. Now, it has been duely noted by many that P&P is one of the greatest romances of all times, and yet...after reading it a couple dozen times...I would have to go further and say its also an almost perfect piece of literature. Austen was truly a genius of character studies...and everytime I read this book, I laugh at something new...notice one of her many subtle observations of aristocrates of the day...but, then...even though she seemed to write it for her time period...somehow, its a timeless work...why? Well, I guess its true that human nature hasnt changed much over the years.
Amy Carmichael of Dohnavur By: Frank Houghton...Here's a book, I dont think I've read enough. Man is it convicting ( probably why I dont read it as much as I should)! And the three or so times I HAVE read it, I havent been able to put it down...Ol' Houghton really captured her life in such a readable manner...and yet, put so much of her work into it as well...its really perfect as far as Biographies go...
Theodore Roosevelt’s Letters to His Children Ed: Bishop Joseph Bucklin
Now, I am a huge fan of reading old letters, and this has to be one of the coolest complilations of letters...It really made you love Teddy...and his children. The letters range from lessons on life to just general comments about the dog or some lizards that Teddy saw while visiting soldiers at a fort somewhere.
A Tale of Two Cities By Charles Dickens
Here's another one of those books that suprised me when I read it for the first time, which was probably when I was around 15. It was the first time I really started to see how an author could express all sort of emotions, could practically manipulate the reader into flowing with the story almost seamlessly...I was in shock by the pure genius of it, and I think it was probably the first time I realized what a "classic" really was. Another thing about this book-was I remember being in class and the teacher had put us into groups to discuss something about it and then left the room...it seemed that no one else had really gotten the point of the chapter we had just read, and I remember being in shock that no one else had seen the genius...I am sad to say, I got up in front of the room and "explained it to them" for a good ten minutes before the teacher got back! hahaha.
Macbeth By William Shakespeare
I read this in my junior year in highschool...and i think it was the first time I realize how great Shakespeare really was...I mean, I had already read Romeo and Juliet and Julius Ceasar...but, probably because of the teacher that taught Macbeth...I finally realized what all the fuss was about. This play along with A Tale of Two Cities...helped me to learn to read, not just for the story or the entertainment value...but for the artistic value of the book in question. Also, It was probably then that I first gained my love of Renissance literature ( which I then studied in University exstensively)
| The Heavenly Man: The Remarkable True Story of Chinese Christian Brother Yunby Paul Hattaway, The Cross and the Switchblade By David Wilkerson, Tramp for the Lord By Corrie Ten Boom and God's Smugglers By Brother Andrew I lump all of these books together, not because they are anything alike...but they did all impact my life in a huge way when I read them...scattered througout my teen years and then into my university years...these books seemed to come to me at just the right time, changing my view of life, rekindling my heart to pray...especially pray for the Lost and for the missionaries that struggle to reach them...I've read each of these books at least twice-and I feel sure they will continue to speak to me afresh in the future.
Well, I've already listed waaay more than the five books requested...so I shall stop for now. Hopefully this list either reminds you of books that have changed you, and maybe even given you some suggestions for books to read ( or reread in the future)
God Bless, Abigail
I have a problem...with blogging... Well, actually, I am just TOLD that I have a problem...I am not even to step ONE of the twelve step program ( admitting i have a problem!)... The other night, my sister and I were having a heated debate in the car about a particular problem i was facing in my life: how I should think about the problem.... what I should do...what I shouldnt do...etc. etc. Anyway, in the midst of the debate, I was like... "Well, how can i blog about this?" And she was like, "I cant BELIEVE you! You should really learn to deal with things without the input and validation of 80 or so people." *ahem* sooo...she's probably right ;-)
October 15, 2005Elizabethtown: Population boredom
So, Anna and I saw Elizabethtown today ( because Domino didnt come to our theatre. BOO!) and can I just say....in our own words this was the general consensus of the movie:
"If Orlando wasnt so adorable with his little puppy dog eyes, I would have either fallen asleep or walked out a long time ago..." Seriously, after the SECOND funeral for the dead father I turned to my sister and said, "how long IS this movie?! we've been here forever, and they havent even dont the road trip thing yet!" yes, so....I dont reccommend this movie, although the music was excellent...so go buy the soundtrack, look at the pic of orlando bloom on the cover and you've got all the perks of this movie minus the two hours. changes...
I've adjusted my links...again....its hard to keep track of you people! :-P
I deleted someone ( JARED WHY HAVENT YOU BLOGGED IN FOREVER) and i added some...people that started blogging ( again!) and than a brandspanking new blogger ( wooo! JO!) If I've been amiss let me know :-P October 14, 2005Abigail needs...
I'm stealing this idea off of everyone's sites.
Go to Google and type in your first name and "needs". For me, these came up and let me just say...I laughed OUT LOUD in my room! hahahahahahah! "Dogster Stats for Abigail needs a home!" "Abigail needs to chew." "Abigail needs a feeding tube..." "Abigail needs advice from her sister." "Abigail needs more input, not less." Ok, so some of those are actually quite sad...but for some reason I thought it was funny...out of context, anyway.... I think I'm just tired. Why I do what I do.Sometimes I am glad I work in a darkened room...I mean, sometimes you get up and youre brushing your teeth....you glance up at the mirror and youre like...maan, this is what they created makeup for! But, then you look at yourself again and think, would said make up reeeeeally help this particular situation? No...and if I put said make up on...people will see that I tried...and failed...so better to not try at all. This way people will look at me and think, man, I bet she would look good if she put makeup on ;-) Better to keep their hopes up...hahaha. ( now you know how my mind works) I dont know WHY it is that some days are just NOT goodlooking days...but its true....it happens...and I'm having one. For whatever its worth, I blame it souly on my lack of sleep ( its not worth anything)...seriously, last night I went SHOPPING ( that's alway tiring) at Target...I then came home...put a new duvet cover on my bed ( which takes crazy skills and lots of acrobatics)...I then talked to Carmi on the phone ( relaxing and all...put me in a good mood...important)...I then read some Lord of the Rings ( another relaxing enjoyable activity)...and had my quiet time ( always good)...did the normal "get ready for bed" activities and finally hit the hay at 12 ( waaaay late considering how much sleep I've been getting and how early I had to get up the next morning)...but could I fall asleep...NOOOooOOoooo. Seriously, this is getting old. Katie is having a party at our apartment tonight...I say "party" but its more like a "work get together." with all of her work friends...I'm excited to meet them all, since i've heard a lot about them, and well, lets face it...I dont get to meet new people very often. ( Reminds me of the conversation on the phone with Carmi last night...in which I told her I didnt have any ( hardly) friends my age and she didnt believe me...hahaha) But, ( since I'm all about sharing how my crazy mind works, today) truth be told...I have a very LIMITED delight for parties...especially parties where I know a total of two people ( Katie and her boyfriend Matt) ...it freaks me out, generally...plus add on to the fact that there is no escape route ( rule #1 in the party going manual: Make sure you have an escape planned if the party goes south) because its happening in MY livingroom...and you've got yourself a case of Pre-Party Anxiety. I mean, what if these people dont like me? What if I have nothing to talk to them about? meeeeeh.....I know, I know...you are all in SHOCK that I have such thoughts...because I generally exude a " I'm a party person...I love to mingle" mentality. But, it actually takes a great deal of effort...and I guess, I'm just trying to say ( in a long sort of way) that...I am DEFINITELY not feeling it for tonight...meeeh. Speaking of such things ( no pun intended): Not too long ago a friend ( who turned out to not be a friend...) said that my sister and I were "obsessed" with conversation...meaning, we constantly discuss the "art" of conversation...I dont think the person actually meant it as a compliment, I think it annoyed them that after any time of social interaction we would get together and discuss how it had gone, how people had responded to certain conversation...how people HADNT responded...how we handled the situation etc. etc....but, personally, I think its great fun...and I think its an art that people pass by, thinking that it comes naturally to everyone...noooooooooooo...its something I've spent my life observing and trying to figure out( communications Major anyone?) - but, I do believe my sister and I both harbor a great fear for "silences"...and I've been trying really hard recently to accept silence as a GOOD thing...especially in large social settings...meeeh...its still heard to take, even as I write this...I break out in a sweat when I think about social silences...and the moral of the story? This is why Abigail ALWAYS ends up telling funny stories ( sometimes made up) about herself to keep converation going...and then ends up going home wondering WHY she feels so stupid ;-) The End. Abigail's personal movie checklist...
Ok, so I know a while back I mentioned how I love the next couple of months ( Oct-Dec) and one of the main reasons is the movies that come out during this time period. Now, Hollywood is pretty easy to figure out-they always put out a the "summer flicks" and then the "holiday flicks"...the two majore movie booms of the year...now, I personally think the "holiday flicks" are waaay better on a year to year basis..and I am pretty sure this year proves no different. Which is lucky, since the summer movies were down right PITIFUL.
So, here is a little list I compiled of the movies *i* personally would like to see during the coming three months, feel free to make further suggestions or make comments on the movies I have listed... October Domino*this one comes out today-and I would love to see it this weekend, but I also want to see... Elizabethtown-but they are very different type movies so maybe I'll just see both...in between going to work and sleeping ( the other things I have planned for the weekend ) The Legend of Zorro: I mainly want to see this movie because, from the previews, it looks like there is another tango scene...and, well, I love tango scenes in movies ( I mean, come on! Moulin Rouge, anyone?!) plus, my mother LOVES Antonio Banderas..and I like to support ( make fun of) things like that. Prime: OK, this just looks like your typical, run of the mill, romantic comedy...but I have nothing against such things...and so, if I dont have anything better to do, than I will go see this movie. Shopgirl...based on the book by Steve Martin...I always saw it in Barnes and Noble and thought it looked interesting, but never read it..but, whats better, now I can just watch the movie;-) November ahhh! the best month of the year..proves to also have some good movies: The Family Stone: A "fluffy movie" as I like to call them...but looks cutesy Pride and Prejudice: Who ISNT looking forward to this movie? Harry Potter: And the Goblet of Fire: oooh maaaaan, the previews to this one look GOOD! Its exciting to see these films come together after reading the books. So far, I havent been disappointed. Walk the Line:This movie,is by far one of the movies I am MOST excited about seeing in November....Johnny Cash...wooo! The Libertine: odd. When I looked this one up on imbd.com it said it came out in 2004...but *i* dont remember it...and it has Johnny Depp...so I have to see it....anyone know about this one? Rent: This movie is going to be goooood. I nearly cried when I saw the preview. December Aeon Flux: This movie looks really cool. And an interview I read of the Director made me want to see it even more. Interesting social statements etc. etc. A good Woman: Alrighty...here's another one that imdb.com says came out in 2004...how did I miss it? Its OSCAR WILDE for heavens sake! I looove the movies based on his works! Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion the witch and the waredrobe: Ok, I get positively giddy just THINKING about this movie...I am SOOOO excited about it! Weta studios seems to have done another FANTASTIC job creating another world that I practically LIVED in as a child. Memoirs of a Geisha: The previews are beautiful-the actresses most famous for Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon come together again...it looks fantastic! The Worlds Fastest Indian..its about an New Zealander...so why wouldnt I want to see it?! I love it when anything regarding my favorite country hits the mainstream ;-) King Kong: Speaking of New Zealanders...I've been looking forward to seeing what ol' Peter's been up to since LOTR..and it looks like he will not disappoint. P.S. Jack Black is awesome. Munich: Steven Spielberg=it will probably be good. Rumor Has it: Here's another one of those romantic comedies that falls into the "if I dont have anything better to do..and I probably wont" I'll see it. ;-) I havent seen Kevin Costner in a while anyway. *whew* Well, that turned out to be quite a few...I better start saving the moneys...hehe ;-) October 13, 2005lack of...sleep.... I cant remember the last time I had a good nights rest...what's the dealio, yo? LUCKILY that Java shake with the extra shot of espresso really did the trick this afternoon or work wouldnt be bareable. Today, I've been abnormally sensitive...example, I just wrote this HUGE rant...about people that dont listen to you when you talk...and then, I thought uh-oh I'm turning into one of those "ranting" bloggers...something I reeeeally dont want to be. Nope, I think I'll stay being the girl that talks about herself a lot ;-) October 12, 2005good quotes thus far...
These are the things that make me smile or gasp accordingly,
From The Fellowship of the Ring: "Me, sir!" Cried Sam, springing up like a dog invited for a walk. "Me go and see Elves and all! Hooray!" he shouted, and then burst into tears. ~ A fox passing through the wood on business of his own stopped several minutes and sniffed. "Hobbits!" he thought. "Well, what next? I have heard of strange doings in this land, but I have seldom heard of a hobbit sleeping out of doors under trees. Three of them! There' something mighty queer behind this." He was quite right, but he never found out any more about it. ~ The Road goes ever on and on Down from the door where it began. Now far ahead the Road has gone, And I must follow, if I can, Pursuing it with weary feet, Unitl it joins some larger way, Where many paths and errands meet. And wither then? I cannot say. ~ (Bilbo) used often to say there was only one Road, that it was like a great river: its springs were at every doorstep; and every path was its trubitary. "Its a dangerous business, Frodo, going out of your door," he used to say. "You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ Frodo to Pippin: "And now leave me in peace for a bit! I dont want to answer a string of questions while I am eating. I want to think!" 'Good heavens!," said Pippin." At breakfast?!" ... the Yahoo! waySo, I'm doing this whole posting via email thing...mmmmmwhahahaha! They just THOUGHT they could stop me! This morning has been so very odd...for one thing the neighbors downstairs ( you know, the ones with the stupid dog) have gone even MORE over the edge....yesterday Katie mentioned that she thought one of them was sick because the visitors that come in an out were more dressed up than normal...but, ummm...you wouldnt have known it this morning...the older women was outside sweeping her porch at like 7:30...and then she was moving around furniture. And talking extremly loud about cooking some meal and she was asking someone really loudly ( in a very hick accent mind you) should we have "Green beans or Okra?" I think they must have responded with, "huh, I cant hear you." because she continued to repeat "GREEN BEANS OR OKRA?!" over and over for what seemed like eternity. I kid you not...this all happened. It was all I could do not to stick my head out the window and say. "Pick green beans already!" But I didnt. I really dislike those people. I finally decided to get out of bed at around 8am..because, for one thing, I was hating the neighbors too much to actually sleep anymore...annnnnd...I was extremely hungry for some reason. Usually I dont like to eat breakfast until I've been a wake at least an hour...but this morning I woke UP being hungry... Wow, we've really reached a new low when, me talking about my eating habits becomes something worth talking about. *sigh* October 11, 2005the job that ate blogger...
yes, its true...and official...and anything else that means "set in stone"....I can no longer access blogger at my work place....
I. KNOW. Its HORRIBLE. On the bright side I can still access bloglines ( at least for now...) and so I can read most people's posts from there...of course, I still cant comment....read comments...OR read people's blogs that have some how checked the "show part of post" rather than "all of post" on some sort of setting in blogger ( if you arent sure what I am talking about than ask Sam, because he was one of those who only had part of his posts show up...and he fixed it for me) ..and is REALLY annoying when only the first couple of sentences show up ( Carmi, Bing so far you are the two I noticed today...) everybody check just to make sure! But, of course, the WORST part is: I CANT POST ON MY BLOG AT WORK. Its horrible, and I spent most of the day sending emails to people...it was actually really lucky that Paul obviously sits at his computer and replies to my emails all day at HIS workplace...or I really would have been bored out of my mind.....Seriously, I am still in shock-and I've been desiring to come home and blog alllll daaaaaay. Remember when I use to only blog once a day, and that was usually at night ( we're talking waaaay back when I first started blogging)? Well, I may have to revive what that was like because no longer can we enjoy my personal narrative throughout the day. Ok, ok, I will TRY to move on from this horrible news.... What I would have posted if I had been able to: I couldnt sleep until 2:30am last night...it was all because of these three, seemingly harmless glasses of blackberry tea that I had at Chili's...uh-oh. As you may or may not know...I went through this period my senior year in highschool where i decided that "tea was the new coffee" because I wanted to be different, and because I really do like tea....anyway, then EVERYONE and their dogs started drinking Chai this and Chai that...it was even in Time Magazine about how very "in" tea was...which totally annoyed me and I went back to being a coffee fiend.....annnnyway, in the last few weeks I've been randomly craving tea again, and I've been drinking it every few days or so instead of my coffee....but for some reason, I hardly ever equate tea with HARDCORE CAFFINE in the same way that I do coffee....BIG MISTAKE.... I was soooo awake last night...I finally had to drug myself to get to sleep...and then this morning the maintanance people were doing something LOUDLY outside of my window at the crack of dawn...I finally got out of bed and SLAMMED my window shut....sadly, they didnt seem offended or put off by this act of definance...but I comforted myself for setting my alarm clock for "later" and slept an extra 30 minutes. In other news, my car is home from the doctors...and it no longer shakes violently when I put on the brakes....woooo. The episode of the Gilmore Girls that was on tonight was EXTRA good...I have NO IDEA what they are trying to pull with Luke and Loreli...are they in trouble? are they NOT in trouble? I cant even really tell....its confusing...but the OTHER plotlines were totally juicy and satisfying...and I'll stop there so I dont ruin it for anyone. Wow, isnt it cool how that previous paragraph started out about my car and then went into a little rant about the Gilmore Girls? Now THAT is what I call good writing ;-) Speaking of talented...a BIG congrats to Dave for getting the job in Wellington...I am SO proud and excited for you! :-) :-) I cant be happier really....Of course, its strange that *i* am going to be friends with a genuine high school maths teacher...whaaaaat? crazy pills I tell you! the things you do...
huh...so this was today ( my day off mind you):
I was awaked sometime around 8ish with a phonecall from my Papa saying he was ready to take my car to get the brakes worked on....of course, I was immediately like "nooooo! I dont wannnnnt tooooo." In my head but then I realized probably the reason he was being so quick to respond to this particular business was a conversation we had had the night before which went something like this: Abigail: "Papa, I know you are busy, but I was going to get my brakes looked at tomorrow like you told me to ( about two months ago) since its my day off....would you go with me? Since, I'm a girl...I dont want to go by myself..... Papa: Well, I have to meet with the builders tomorrow at eight-and its really better to go early-and it will probably take more than a day.... ( at this point I could tell he wasnt into the plan...) Abigail: Well, thats ok, we dont have to do it tomorrow...we'll wait till some other time ( obviously I wasnt TOO rushed...I'd already waited two months longer than I should have anyway) Papa: Maybe next week.... Abigail: Of course, If I die...it WILL be on your head. hahaha! yeah, looking back that parting shot was really uncalled for...and probably why I got a call at 8ish on my day off....hehehe... I DO have a wonderful father though...he takes such good care of me! Plus, he will probably have to drive me to work tomorrow since my car isnt suppose to be ready until later tomorrow....So, yes he gets bonus points...and he also no longer has my death hanging over him...I'll be sure to blame it on someone else instead ;-) You know what strangeness happened today? You know those really long questionaire things that you so often get sent and then told to fill out and sent to your friends? Well, I ALWAYS fill them out...because...well...I'm like that....so I was going to send it back to my aunt, that orginally sent it to me, but I also randomly went through my address book and picked people that I thought just MIGHT reply...or at least read it without deleting it first...and you would not BELIEVE what happened?!? I got like FIVE responses!! It was incredible! I dont think I've EVER gotten those things back before...I seriously thought I was the ONLY ONE that did those! It was so cool....hahahahaa! Now I wish I had sent it to more people...maybe that's why people responded? because it was just a short list and so they figured they should respond? Who knows? Maybe it was just my lucky day! :-) In other random news...some person I dont even know asked me if I was "Abigail Abt" on a blog comment today....seriously, the internet is getting to be TOO SMALL. I also spent a good portion of the day looking up towns where people were that read my blog...yes, I CAN see you out there, little blog readers! I know you think you are safe...but my site counter now tells me what TOWN the internet provider is of the people that read my blog...so, those of you living in Illinois...Virginia...California...fess up...I know you are there......seriously though, in the last few weeks I've been thinking about internet saftey...I wonder if maybe I am waaay too open with information, I mean, PROBABLY if people tired hard enough they could track me down....but then the likelyhood of that is probably just as high as me being the victim of a random crime...so, I have decided NOT to worry about it. *ahem* It IS odd to know that I have readers that I dont actually know...I mean, even if they just commented to say how they got to my blog or something....THAT would make me feel better...its the silence that gets me *hint*hint* On the lighter side...I did learn some geography today ;-) Katie is having a party at our house of Friday night...I am excited about meeting her friends...I need to met new people. The small pool of friends I DO have have the high chance of leaving in the next couple of months...*sigh* as much of a social butterfly as I am...I HATE having to find new friends...it stinks...you have to be on your best behavior ;-) Besides, where am I suppose to MEET thise "friend" people anyway?! In unrelated events, I started reading the Lord of the Rings again today...Its slowish going actually because my least favorite part is the beginning of The Fellowship of the Ring...I just have to get through Tom Bombadil and all will be well...I am doing things a bit differently this time, though, since I will probably be teaching my mom's freshman english class on Lord of the Rings...I am highlighting my favorite passages....which I hate doing...its annoying to stop reading to highlight..it gets you out of the grove. In futher unrelated facts, my windows are open-which I love...but I can hear a phone ringing somewhere and it just wont stop...that is ALMOST as bad as the evil dog...but not quite. THE END October 09, 2005what a difference a nap ( and a Sunday) makes...
Thanks to everyone and their comments-they meant a lot! :-)
Today I really did feel a lot better...I KNEW that I just needed to go ahead and address the issue rather than just mulling over it in my head for days ( which is what I had done)...and praying about it sooo helped. But, you know the lesson learned here is that just because I've prayed about it-doesnt mean I am through with it-I must continually give my life to Jesus...for how easily my own plans, my own dreams creep slowly in! I had the best nap this afternoon...from about three till almost five...woooo! I was late to church because it went on so long! :-) But I SOO needed the sleep, because I've been having such trouble as of late. My windows are open and my fan is on...and weather is SO cool!!! I LOVE it! It is optimal sleeping weather... You know what we havent done in a while? "Played the itunes on Shuffle" game.... So here are the songs I'm listening to whilest writing this blog.... "Marry Me", Dolly Parton...dedicated to Katie and Thomas...tonight I saw Katie's wedding dress...and its PERFECT. *sigh* I love weddings. "Smile", Lyle Lovett...this song has always been a favorite, because of the lyrics...but this version has to be one of the absolute best...its from the movie Hope Floats-and it gets me everytime. :-) "Still", Hillsong....what a beautiful praise song....sometimes I really really have to have praise times by myself in my room....no one's watching so you can get face down on the ground and then singing at the top of my voice. Does the heart good. "These Thousand Hills", Third day...I still have a big goal of going to a third day concert...I absolutely LOVE their first Offerings CD...I have run that CD into the ground and I still LOVE it. "The World Below", Collective Soul....classic song...gotta love the chorus " So I walk up on high and I step to the edge To see my world below and I laugh at myself as the years roll down...." "All because of You", Steve Kinnaird...this song is from the tape that Steve made of the songs he wrote back when he was in college...I seriously went to sleep with that tape playing for the first five years of my life...wonderful memories...and the songs are still wonderful. Somebody needs to make Steve make a CD-because this sound quality deserves to be better! "As Time goes by", Jimmy Durante...ah....this song always makes me think of my Papa...he wanted my sister and I to play this on the piano so badly...somehow in never happened...something i really regret now...I mean, he paid for ten years of piano lessons for Anna and 9 years for me...you would think he would get that one thing. It IS a great romantic song though. Casablanca is truly a classic movie. ok....one more song.... "Foolish Games" Jewel....hmmm...dont have much to say about this song....but, then you always get some random songs when you put your itunes on shuffle...that is why its so much fun! October 08, 2005blog therapy
I dont know WHAT is wrong with me....but today, after not being able to sleep the night before because of it-and then finding myself dwelling on it throughout the day...I decided the only thing to do was to blog about it.
I am homesick for New Zealand. And not the usual general feeling of missing people-but the sick feeling in the pit of my stomache...something I havent felt since leaving the country almost ten months ago. I think possibly it has something to do with the weather change-since its getting colder I strangely think of new zealand more...well, maybe its not THAT strange since I had three years of straight winter because of my decision to live there...but I have still been generally surprised by these emotions coming up again so suddenly. I dont really know what to do with them and to tell you the truth I am annoyed with myself-I mean, isnt that what the past 10 months have been about??? MOVING ON???? *sigh* One of my biggest fears in life is that I will ever look back on a certain period and say, "Man, that was the best time of my life." and I refuse ( REFUSE!!!!) to ever say that, because I have the full assurance that God has prepared a future greater than the present ( or the past) -that I am working towards something bigger, something greater, something closer to Him. And I guess, I just havent fully grasped that often to reach that which is bigger, greater and closer, that path can take a little more from you...that path can lead you away from your comforts, your loves, even your desires.... But, even as I say that, I cry.... and I wonder...is there something really wrong with me?! I mean, I KNOW this is where I am suppose to be...so why oh why do I not love it as I should?! Shouldnt my desires be the same as the Lord's desires?! But truth be told.... I miss New Zealand SO much...I miss the laidback culture, I miss the beach, I miss the landscape, I miss the food, I miss the smells, I miss the accent, I miss the way its almost always cool or cold or a variation of the two...even in summer, I miss the stuff you cant even put your finger on...and, heck, I miss the stuff I use to hate....but most of all I miss my friends. I fear letting go of my dreams...because I am afraid if I let go...I will never get them back. I mean, sure I have resolved myself to being in Nacogdoches for a certain amount of time and then I've thought-then I will get to leave...I mean, who wouldnt love a little timeline to look forward to and plan life around? But, ultimately I know I could be here much much longer.....anyway, but for quite a long time now I've been actually happy to be here...I've felt confident in my place here...I've loved being with my family again, I've loved being with my church again...I've had the delight of building relationships with several people whom I hadnt spent much time with in the past, I'm comfortable with my job and I enjoy it most of the time....so WHY oh WHY is this feeling back?! Is it because I DID put a timeline on my time here? Was that not something I should have done? Afterall, I havent gotten any promises from God about that...maybe I am just holding onto NZ because of stubborness.....maybe I have put part of myself worth in THAT dream rather than in God?! I dont know....all I know is that even as I write this....letting go...well, that still scares me more than anything....but still.... ~~~~ Oh Lord, I lay my life at your feet and if it is your will for me to never go back to New Zealand to live...I will praise you still. Please help me to let go of my OWN dreams, my OWN desires...help me to lay my very life down at Your feet....help me not to turn that which you have given me into that which I worship...for I am weak, I am easy to stumble, easily distracted.... ~~~ Why is it that I am so afraid to let go? Why am I so afraid to live a life that is "simple" and "plain"....and I put that in quotes because I know there is no such life for any Christian...so what is it that I fear? No answers, right now...just gonna finish this little cry I'm having with God, right now.... "Trading all that I have, for all that is better...." "Prepare your work outside, and make it ready for yourself in the field, afterwards then build your house." Prov 24:24 October 07, 2005summerdies
the flower arrangment on the table didnt "match" or new decorations...plus they were a bit dead....soooo...here is Katie's
"Summer, you are dead to me now." inside_oct_decor
here you can sort of see the holiday cheer in the dining area.....hmmm....maybe I should have cleared the table first :-P
thankgoodness THAT'S over!
Today...at work....I couldnt get on ANY blogs....blogspot was....totally....and completely....blocked.....I tried all of the other "blogging places" such as xanga.com, livejournal.com...and the ever evil myspace.com...and THEY all came up without complaint! meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeh! I dont know WHAT the deal is, but its lucky I have the next three days off of work to recover from the HORRIBLE-NESS of it. :-(
Yes, you heard correctly! And I am going to have de-lightful time of it whilest not at work...the first order of business is going to see my dear PawPaw in Irving tomorrow for his BIRTHDAY! Yaaaaay! WOOOO! I am looking forward to it, havent seen him in too long ( I dont count that short little visit last month or so, because...it was short) I started my "holiday mood" this morning by getting up at the CRACK OF DAWN ( aka. before 7) to meet Papa for coffee...this, of course, shows my dedication not only to my father but also to coffee...both are dedications I hope are never questioned. But, you know, its odd...whenever I eat breakfast before a certain time ( i think its around 8:30 or 9) I get extremely hungry very early....I know that this is because of some sort of scientific reasoning...my food metabolizing faster or something...but, whatever, I dont care...I just dont like that annoying "I'm hungry feeling" coming so quickly- I was positively starving when I got home at 1:15..... All better now though...ahhhh...foooooooddddddd..... Katie and I decorated for Halloween last night, actually Katie decorated....I just agreed with her decorations-why get in the way of an artist, ya know? Anywho...October is the beginning of the best months of the year in Texas ( in my humble opinion)...first of all, the weather pretends to get cooler ( meaning, you have cooler weather every now and then...combined with hot weather like normal on all the other days)...but those cooler days ( like today) make me totally happy and excited about life. I think I just like changes in season-Any season. Its fun. Anyway, back to the months...right, so october is fun...and then you've got Halloween-which I dont actually "celebrate" I just find costumes really exciting...and I find little kids trick-or-treating really cute....and, besides, the crazy decorations in this apartment right now are totally worth it! Wooo! its like a party up in here! THEN you get to November...which we ALLLLLL love because my birthday is in November.....I also enjoy this particular month because I've always been a fan of thanksgiving....partial to it really....dont know why.... Of course, this month is followed by the Christmas month...which is wonderful in soooo mannnnny waaaaays....I feel like its premature to go into it now-so somebody remind me to give a full list of my "I *heart* December* reasons on the 1st of December, ok? OoooOOOoooKKkkkkk! ( I bet nobody reminds me) But, one of the great things about ALL THREE MONTHS is that Katie and I have mammoth decorating possiblities for each one. I'll post some pics of the decor here in a moment :-) October 06, 2005a moment of panic
So, my computer has been acting up all day...it keeps denying me access to sites that I go to everyday...and the WORST was when it wouldnt let me get into blogger! OOOOH MAAAAN! I thought the hospitals security system had gone TOO FAR...but, I cleared my cookies ( it was the only think i could think of to do) and now the internet is moving waaay slower but at least I am not being locked out of stuff. *sigh* wouldnt it be horrible if the system didnt let me blog?! Of Course, I wouldnt blame them...but STILL, it would be awful.
So, I am not really in the mood for writing today, but I know my fellow "internet junky at work" buddy, Trinity probably needs something to read by now so I will push on through.... So, my job is kind of unique in that I work for two minutes, sit for two minute, work for two seconds, sit for two minutes, work for ten minutes, sit for two seconds...its a bit crazy at times and even though I do end up sitting a lot, its not like I could really do ANYTHING productive during that sitting time-because my train of thought could be interrupted at any moment ( like now) Annnnyway, I tried experimenting with reading good, mind-building books while at work, but that didnt work because I would just block out the noice around me-which consists of the phone ringing that I should pick up and my bosses asking me questions that I need to answer...and listening for my bosses ending their dictations so I can get up and take down the old study and put up a new one...so, yeah, that didnt work. Whatever I do, I need to always have one ear open..Anyway, the best thing is for me to do things that I dont REEEALLY care about and take only half my brain to do. Now, I will TELL YOU what I do during my moments of down time...IF you promise not to judge, and promise not to make wise cracks about how little I must work...so on that note: Half Brain activities: 1. I write posts on my blog...yes, sadly to say this only uses parts of my brain and I am usually interrupted at least three times while I am writing. This explains typos, bad spelling, bad grammar and just plain bad writing at times. ;-) 2.I read blogs...I have a blog lines account and through that site it tells me when a blog is updated-meaning I dont have to check every blog every single day-thus cutting out a lot of time...which means, I know have a total of 41 different blogs that the site checks for me ( this use to be a public list that anyone could look at-but now that that came to my attention it is private...mmmwaahahahah!) 3. I read several comics, DilbertGet Fuzzy,For Better or For Worse and Luann... I know its a really weird combination...and the saddest thing is my favorite comic-Zits, I cant actually find it online... 4. This is probably the thing I reeeally hate to admit to, but I read MSN headline Gossip...I know, I know its horrible...but I really enjoy this particular gossip writer because it is ironically written in a way that makes FUN of gossip writing and gossip readers...very cleverly done. *sigh* I know, its still not a good excuse. But it takes up moments of my day. 5. When I work the morning shift I listen to "Kidd Kraddick in the Morning" on the way to work ( I started to do this when listening to NPR started to depress me) ...and on those mornings I usually go to his website and look at the pictures of whoever they had on the show that day...sometimes I even read the hosts blogs...annnnnnnnnnnnd as of today I started to read Kidd's online novel"cat in a car"about a spoiled celebrity singer....meh, its pretty cheesey but very easy reading and pretty fun. 6. I also check my blog for comments, which is usually pretty depressing-since the ratio of me checking for comments and the number of comments I get is a pretty sad slant-buuuut, that is my own fault for checking so often ;-)...I also check my email a LOT...which also has a sad ratio...but once again...I am probably the only who checks their email that much. 7. I play FreeCell a lot as well...what a great game. Ok, I think that is it! And just to give you a feel for how things work around here-while writing this post I was interrupted 8 times for various lengths of time up to about 10 minutes long...so....yeah....writing this post kept me busy for a little over an hour...woo hoo! October 05, 2005a song in the night, a mediation of the heart( Ps77:6)
"....Oh Lord, I'll seek your face, Oh Lord, I'll pray.
Oh Lord, I'll follow you in the narrow way. Oh help me to love Thy every wish that I might never be ashamed of myself, I might never be ashamed of myself...." "Attaining to all the wealth that comes from the full assurance of understanding...that is Christ HIMSELF, in whom are hidden all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge." Col 2:2 and.... "...I delight myself in the Richest of fair trading all that I have, for all that is Better a garment of praise for my heaviness you are the greatest taste...take this heart of stone and make it yours." and... In the day of my trouble I sought the Lord, In the night my hand was stretched out without weariness...." Ps 77:2a also... Oh that you would rend the heavens! That you would come down! For since the beginning of the world men have not heard nor perceived by the ear nor has the eye seen any God besides You, who acts for the one who waits for Him. Is 64:1,4 yes, and... "....give us picture of Your face show us the measure of Your grace reveal the love of the Father put within us tenderness release from us all selfishness we'll consider them better we are Yours give us hearts of servants..." For truly... Call upon me in the day of trouble; I will deliver you, and you shall GLORIFY ME." Ps 50:15 His promises stand firm as they do not sway, no matter what the wind. Hide and Seek
Have you ever watched, like, 8 episodes of Friends....eaten pasta when you werent hungry and then made a milkshake drink thingy only to realize the problem still HADNT gone away and you really should have prayed about this hours ago??
Yeah, me too. P.S. "We have not ceased to pray for you and to ask that you make be filled with the knowledge of His will in all spiritual wisdom and understanding, so that you may walk in a manner worthy of the Lord, to Please Him in all respects, bearing fruit in every good work and increasing in the knowledge of God." Col 1:9 October 04, 2005Romance Thrillers
So, I went and saw the Corpse Bride with my mom last night. I would have to say the film is a classic Tim Burton...and the music is classic Danny Elfman...both of whom I enjoy in themselves so I was realitively happy with the results.
But here are the things I found enjoyable about this particular movie....I really thought it was interesting that the "underworld" was vibrant and colorful while, in stark contrast the "live world" was dull, dreary and entirely black and white. It was an interesting switch of logic and was probably helpful in making the dead people less scary and the live people more unlikeable and boring...for what that is worth. I also really enjoyed the scenes with the piano-first when Victor plays for Victoria and then later when he plays with the Bride...both scenes were endearing..and the music was excellent...I am assuming they were Elfman originals and I would be interested and getting the soundtrack, but from memory I think those two piano pieces are the only things I would enjoy listening to more than once, hmmm...maybe itunes is selling the singles.... Which brings me to what this post is all about...random things that I find romantic. I find it odd that with all the romantic comedies and the "romance movies" ( you know the ones..."Walk to Remember, The Notebook etc.etc.) floating around these days...when I list my all time favorite romantic movie its a thriller. Why is that? I have no idea...but all I know is that this movie which could only be loosely classified as a Child thriller ( or something)...also had some ultimate romantic elements to it that I found more delightful and heart-flutter-worthy than any souly romantic movie out there.... So, I thought about it and I think it would be interesting to have a list of those "suprise romantic elements" those things that are romantic..but not necessarily in the typical romance films. Of course, my ultimate example is The Village-which I still find to be the most romantic movie of all time... And then, when you go see the Corpes Bride-listen to the marriage vows...they are actually beautiful. At first I thought they must be traditional jewish vows..but I spent a good 20 minutes looking for them online and couldnt find anything...so maybe they were made up for the movie. Whatever the case...they were beautifully written...and if you think about it, they didnt NEED to be beautiful-I mean, ultimately they could have been really lame and it wouldnt have taken away from the movie at all...but in my opinion they really ADDED to the movie a whole lot...which was a nice surprise and added some unlooked for depth. I hope somebody can help me out with where they are from because I would like to read them again-or post them on here.... Anyway, I would love to hear what you guys think...maybe WHY I always find the most romantic thing to be in the odd sort of movies...or maybe you have a movie you want to add to the Romance Thriller Genre...whatever. Thus endeth what turned out to be a really girly post ;-) really odd.
So, I got the coolest compliment this morning...
"You are always so HAPPY in the mornings, how do you do it?" Which, of course, I responded with, "Lots of coffee." But, seriously, I really have to try hard to be cheerful in the mornings, and usually it takes a good twenty minutes before I am up to my ultimate cheerfulness. But, ultimately everyday I try to make it a challenge to convince whomever I speak to on the phone and whoever comes into the reading room throughout the day, that I am reeeeally happy to talk to them and serve them. And believe me its an act on most days ;-) This is a realitively new goal in my life, which is why I am so happy with the compliment-it must be WORKING! So, as I stand up here to except my oscar for Best Morning Actress....I want to thank Coffee and all its goodness...without you none, of this would have been possible. October 03, 2005Lostless
Last night I finished up the last of the first season of Lost. The last episode only had one really good suprise-but, actually, besides that it was kind of a pitiful "cliff hanger"...I mean, I KNEW that is how they would leave it. Pul-lease!
Not, to say I cant wait until I can watch the 2nd season-which will be like, six months at least...meeeeh...nobody had better tell me what happens or...you're gonna get it ;-) Other positives moments of the weekend were: I bought the Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring: EE for $19.99..swwwweeeeet! Now I have my own copy and all I need is Two Towers and Return of the King. Actually, it was really perfect timing because I was JUST talking to my mother this weekend about teaching class on a Lord of the Rings at the end of the unit-this way I will teach a class at the end of both semesters...on my two favorite subjects, Lord of the Rings and Shakespeare....ahhhhhhhhhhhhh! :-) Of course, I have NO IDEA what I would want to say about LOTR, besides gushing for 45 minutes I cant imagine...any ideas, you fans out there? Anything you would want to learn?? I had a good chat with Amy on the phone...still feel bad about not getting to talk to her longer on her birthday- I find it sad that when we get older it is MUCH MUCH harder to throw birthday parties with pony rides and party favors...and if its the least I can do to give somebody a call and have a nice long chat than I am going to do it- Rita just got in the way this year....hopefully I can make it up to Amy one of these days ;-) I ALSO got a suprise call from Louise on Saturday night which was EXCELLENT. She cracks me up like no other-and understands so many of my weird quirks like no other...I am truly blessed with friends. I heard that Micheal W. Smith "Friends are Friends Forever" or whatever its called on the radio last night...and I seriously almost cried. It has really been hitting me hard lately that its almost been a year since I've seen some of my friends. Friends that I count as BEST friends, friends forever type friends. The amazing thing about it is that it actually doesnt seem THAT long. Dont get me wrong I would give ANYTHING to see them, but God has been amazingly gracious in keeping our Spirits close even when our bodies are thousands of miles away. I had a fun dinner at the Tousha's house on Saturday night, yummy food, good company....Seriously, I did a lot of laughing-and I realize sometimes how much I miss doing stuff with GROUPS of people. It was something I took for granted in NZ, but now I find it a delight whenever I get the chance! :-) Now, onwards...I am planning to go see the Corpse Bride with my mom this afternoon, did you know they have a 4PM showing at the movie theatre here in town?! WOOO! cheap tickets! ;-) I am excited, because, Johnny Depp is wonderful..of course October 02, 2005forget this nap!
I am going to have to get out of bed and go to Wal-mart is search of medication...this headache is evil.
On a happy note, after I manically threw open the door and yelled at the dog to shut up...it did. *blushes at the thought of anyone that might have heard/seen me* No! no! bad dog!
Its 3:45PM on Sunday afternoon....and I SHOULD be getting to take the nap I feel I deserve ( :-P.)
BUUUUUT, instead the EVIL, BAD WORD, STUPID DOG that lives underneith me is barking its little head off.... no amounts of music is drowning out the sound... I am having thoughts of murder edit: did I mention I am nursing a migrane? /edit
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