Rain, Rain go away...

My sister's coming to visit on Wednesday. This means I must clean house. ( not really, but its always best to have a "reason" to clean house or it just isn't as motivating). So today was all about being domestic, cleaning, grocery shopping that sort of thing.

So there I am, minding my own business in the Commissary when I run into a guy from the Navigators...or rather he runs into me. Literally. With his cart. So after that little bit of awkwardness. I continued on with my shopping to find a christmas present equivalent of shopping joy...my favorite, favorite thing to eat is Morning Star Vegetarian products...they have the yummiest "Pizza Vegetarian Burger Patties" and they have the GREATEST spinach artichoke poppers that are low fat and low calorie and pretty much small morsels of heaven ( its about all I eat.).....annnnyway, they are NEVER EVER on sale but today low and behold there were $.75 off coupons!!! WHOAAAAA! So I went on a total binge and got several boxes of all my favorites to stock my freezer!

So off I head to the check out line, a place where I pride myself on being fast and efficient ( the self checking line, that is...) So there I am waiting in line and I turn around and there is a girl who came to Bible Study a few times and then graciously bowed out to join a church group instead ( no biggie, just glad she got plugged in somewhere), so we do the usual 'how are yous" and then I proceed akwardly to start checking out my groceries...and that's when things took a baaaad turn.

First off ALL of my veggies refused to ring up and with each one the machine would bark out, "need assistance to ring up this item!" finally I tracked down one ( approx 3min.) of the teeny tiny asian ladies that seem to be the only commissary workers and she came over to help me-but then informed me she'd have to do a price check and ran off with my mushrooms in toe...I then proceeded to wait, trying to avoid eye contact with the girl behind me in line ( approx 5 minutes)....she finally returned with my mushrooms and then began the AGONIZING process of trying to scan my NINE coupons -each of them got rejected at least twice before going through...by now I could not pretend the girl behind me didn't exist and I proceeded to apologize as each of my coupons wouldn't scan....I finally walked away ( 15 minutes after getting there) with a savings of $6.75....was it worth it? Hardly. I was so embarrassed! That girl is DEFINITELY not coming back to Bible Study after that!!!!

Honestly! You would think going to the grocery store at 1:30 in the afternoon on a monday would mean you wouldn't have to run into people you know...but apparently I was WRONG!

I know, I know...

I'm not entirely sure why I couldn't produce a blog post this weekend, afterall I did have a pretty eventful couple of days including an idiot encounter at the bakery ( yup! my cake for Amy's baby shower said the following when I got it, "Welcom Baby B" and that's WITH the quotation marks as...who knows why there were quotation marks...*sigh* ) But other than that moment of Drama to start my day the shower was totally delightful. For one thing I had wonderful friends to help me set up, clean up and make conversation with people who weren't feeling included....honestly, I hardly felt like I was hosting the shower at all! The other delightful thing about the shower was my long awaited, long planned onesie decorating. Seriously, it was SUCH fun to see what people decorated their onesie with, the breakout artists and the random pictures... all around good fun! And of course, baby showers are ALWAYS fun because they have the inevitable opening of teeny tiny gifts that cannot HELP but be ADORABLE.

And then there were days...

Its been a fast week, full of some good things:

So, in no particular order:

This week it snowed, rained, and it was sunny. I experienced all four seasons in a five day period. This isn't particularly "good" but it was interesting! And I didn't get bored!

This week I had fruitful talks with some of the girls in the Nav ministry. How I love these girls! I am often struck by my own shortcomings in trying to show them more about Christ...but this week I was reminded that most of the time they end up showing ME more about Christ! Excellent!

This week worked out more than I've gotten to in a while. Less headaches, more energy! That's how it seems to work!

This week I forced myself to go to the PWOC bible study on Fort Lewis (its so darn early!). It was there that I had some great discussion with women about the hardships that deployment can bring on marriage-In many ways I am grateful that I am experiencing some of those hardships now because I see the great need to help others who might not know just how Wonderful it is to have trust in God for all things....I'm working through these problems myself, but its encouraging to know they will be useful to someone else in the future.

This week I planned a trip to Canada in a few weeks now that Tabithaofficially lives there.

This week I got the surprise new that my sister is coming to visit NEXT WEEK!!! This is almost too much excitement to bare.

This week I planned a trip to Texas in May. This makes me so happy because I'll get to be there for Mother's Day, my mom's birthday, a friends wedding, and a day shy of my mother-in-laws birthday!! So much celebrating that I get to be a part of!!! YAY!

This week I got to say goodbye to a good friend who's headed off to Iraq, by eating Indian food and watching a chick-flick*. Danielle was one of the very first people I met when I moved to Washington waaaay back when, and I'm sad to see her go, but I know God will do good things with her over "there".

This week I got a present in the mail:



Its actually made out of brass but it looks like thread...and its AWESOME! The perfect "reminded" of my sweet husband who puts up with me even when I complained about buying guns. ;-)

* I totally enjoyed the newest chick flick Confessions of a Shopaholic, it was girlie and cute and had plenty of eye-candy in the form of shoes and bags galore, and it was pretty much without the usual sexual horribleness that I hate about movies these days! two thumbs up!

Now I'm off to a "surprise" birthday party ( the surprise was ruined by facebook...sad, but true) and I'm getting all the last minute prep work done for the totally wonderful-amazing-perfectly-executed Baby shower that I'm throwing tomorrow ( cross your fingers!) !

Implied.

I know that I don't have to tell you this, but I miss Brett. Kinda a lot. Kinda all the time.

just one hour.

I don't know if I comment on this every year (I'm too lazy to look at my archives) but I'm pretty sure time-changes are made to torture a person.

One hour makes ALLLL the difference in my little world! But, this week has been so nice and busy already that I haven't had too much time to complain to myself. hehe

I've had to make lists this week to make sure I get everything done, but there is one thing I've noticed- I thrive on this kind of thing. I SO delight in having a busy enough schedule that I need lists and calendars. I so wish that I did not delight in it so much because it means that when I'm NOT busy Bad Things Happen...but instead of dwelling on that lets dwell on the fact that I love people and parties and planning ( oh, and I also love alliteration) and that this week has plenty of both! Excellent.

Oh and I'm surrounded by Babies. Everyone is having Babies. Babies Babies Babies. *sigh*

The One Thing

Love knows no limit to its endurance, no end to its trust, no fading of its hope; it can outlast anything. It is, in fact, the one thing that still stands when all else has fallen.

I Cor 13:7-8 ( Philips Bible)

Seriously. That Happened.

Things that happened today:
Today I bought a gun
Today I talked with a nasty old man who had just finished discussing the finer points of getting a divorce with a gang member. I had to smile and play nice because I wanted said nasty old man to give me a copy of his gun sellers license.

True story:

Ok, so first off...BRETT is the one who actually bought the gun, but I'm a super-duper submissive wife who does nice things without complaining and will even go to great lengths like getting lost in Lakewood trying to find the gun store and then having to put up with a couple of jerks who sell guns so that I could then mail tons-o-money to the guy that Brett bought the gun from so that it can be delivered....I will do all of that because of love. And because I'm sure I'll get something good out of it eventually ;-)
I also went to that art gallery opening that I was telling you about earlier this week, but I ended up going all by myself, which I did NOT want to do because I just KNEW this gallery was going to be on the WRONG SIDE OF THE TRACKS...but I sucked it up because that's what loving on people is all about, right?! So I went to the wrong side of town ( almost getting lost, but not) and then I remembered that my gun-happy husband would be LESS THAN thrilled if I walked the two blocks to the gallery in the pitch darkness of the Tacoma ghetto night all on my lonesome-so I called Amy and she talked to me for two minutes while I walked to the gallery...that way, if you know, I got shot or something Amy would be the first to know. And she could then pass on my last words to Brett.

Incidently my last words would be something along the lines of: GUNS KILL PEOPLE! AND NOW WE OWN SOME TOO!!! IRONY!

Actually, I'm still working on the wording of my last words so luckily I missed death in Tacoma tonight so I'll have more time to perfect them...

Oh, and the art gallery was worth it. Apparently in the three years this girl has been inviting people to go to her galleries I'm the FIRST to show up!! WHAT?!? Seriously?! Art is so cool!!! And now I'm happy to say I have yet another talented friend. ;-)

Brought to you by my favorite things:

I've been listening to this song on repeat. Mat Kearney's Breathe In Breathe Out


I've been craving the Strawberry Nirvana smoothie from Jamba Juice pretty much constantly. My saving grace is that I have to drive out of the way to get one....so I've been living it up Recession style and making them at home-easier on the pocket book and probably better for me: Frozen Mixed Berries, half a banana, vanilla soy milk and low fat vanilla yogurt and ice in your blinder and you're rolling in yummy!

I watched Secret LIfe of Bees last night and totally cried. A good little growing up movie that also brought me back to the thankful conclusion that as many troubles as we have in this country we have come Far since the Civil Rights movement. Thank goodness...so many have suffered for what we live today!


I've been reading the archives of this website for a while now ( I think I'm somewhere in 2005 right now)...she's one of those "famous bloggers" who actually makes a living off her blog ( JEALOUS!)....but I am struck by her honesty about being a mother and her struggles with depression. Warning though, she uses profanity like it was going out of style.

other than this...

At Bible Study last night I admitted to the girls that my toes had been tingling for several days now and that I thought it was really weird. Lucky for me I have two nurses and a nursing student in my small group and they all felt like it just might be possible that my headaches and tingling toes are connected, in say, a pinched nerve in my back or something...

So those of you who have recommended the chiropractor to me in the past, rejoice. Because I'm going! Tomorrow!

I'll let you know what happens...but I can't tell you how relieved I'd be if my weird medical problems could finally be solved! Of course, I have to actually pay to go to the chiropractor...which is a low blow to my usually free medical mind-but after almost a month of solid headaches I'd be willing to shell out some serious dough if they promise to make me better. :-(

In other news, here is what's going on with me OTHER than medical drama:

Today I went to PWOC ( for those of you who don't remember: Protestant Women of the Chapel...something that I was a part of in Kansas...) here at Fort Lewis. While it might have just looked like I was innocently going to chapel in actuality I was 'giving up' on ever finding a job and therefore I'm now getting involved in day time activities. *sigh*

On Thursday: Meeting up with a friend for coffee. Going to the Chiropractor. Hopefully finding a cure. Basically the usual.

On Friday I'm going an art opening at a local art gallery after meeting a new friend at Bible Study and finding out that she's an artist! Should be fun, and I'm hoping to slip some Indian food into the mix if I can ;-)

On Saturday I'm throwing a low key girls night at my house for the Navigator Girls...at least I'm hoping it'll be low key! I really just want there to be more social times when all the girls can hang out and get to know each other better....I think it'll ultimately make our small group times better-you know, more sharing, more openness...you know the drill ;-)

....

I tell you all this because I'm just so DARN excited to have things on my calendar again....the last few weeks have been rough with a capital R! I never, ever want to repeat that again. Ever.

Luckily next week I've got Amy's baby shower to get ready for! YAY! If I spread it out ( like Joey on Friends would) I'm sure I can make baby shower prep take up the whole week. ;-)

Tonight I'm watching movies. Australia is on the agenda as well as Secret Life of Bees....annnnnnd....I got them both for FREEEEE! Sweet, right? Well, now for a limited time you can rent movies for free at a Redbox near you if you have the promotion code, go to this website every Monday ( and for the month of March every Wednesday too!) and get the code you'll need! ( thanks to Amy The Savingest Housewife Around for this tip).

Uplifting and Kid safe.

That is the catch phrase of the Christian radio station here in Washington. This station is “not God’s best” as my friend Amy would so eloquently put it. It is possible that it is kid safe, but it is NOT “uplifting”. It is the essence of watered down christianity and everything that I hate about "religiosity"....
Which leaves me with the one truly awesome thing about radio in Washington which is The Mountain. This radio station is everything a radio station should be. They are U2 fans, the dejays seem to legitimately love music and actually KNOW about music-In fact, most of the time I feel like they are not reading off of wikipedia when they talk about bands and music trivia. This radio station is something that I will miss ( and already have missed when I was in Kansas-aka. Land of country music) when I leave WA again….
But, anyway, back to the Christian music. Now, I’m not one of those people that believes that to be a Christian you should listen to Christian music…or even that other music is “bad for you”….I’m also not one of those “other people” who hate contemporary Christian music…I’m somewhere soundly in the middle. And sometimes on particularly bad days when I'm missing Brett or having a headache ( so basically most days)....I like something that will make me think of "Holier Things".
SO! Since I can’t listen to the Christian radio station ( because listening to that dribble will make one HAVE roadrage if you didn’t already) I have discovered something TRULY glorious.

So....my phone allows me to listen to Pandora ( the greatest thing to hit the internet since google) on my phone, and my car allows me to plug my phone into my radio speakers-which BASICALLY means that I get FREE satellite radio. No commercials, the ability to skip songs and a HUMNUNGO range of music to listen to....
I love it.

the aftermath of a particular breakdown.

Last week was NOT awesome.

Basically you combine a lot of pain in the head with inactivity and you've got the equation to a pretty downtrodden person.

Anyway, over the weekend I realized a few things-first of all, I cannot not MAKE my weeks busy. Sometimes they just aren't going to be stellar in that department, there will not be enough people to hang out with me, there will not be enough errands to run, there will not be anything fun to look forward to...and it'll make me feel sad and a tad lost...and I'll basically be left with my own thoughts and fears to keep me company. Not. Pretty.

But, I've got to be ok with that. I've got to Trust and have Faith and Seek even on those kind of days. And believe me its a LOT harder to do then it looks! Basically, I'm talking about being an anti-farweather-friend of Jesus. Pretty much go in the opposite direction as Peter on the night he betrayed Him. This is also hard to do, because if you think about it, that's what human nature is all about! We're all busily looking for distractions and answers that AREN'T Christ...and none of them are working. So, instead we must choose the hard road-the road that goes harder and looks deeper and believes in the Love even when its not super obvious and on the surface promising you a Perfect Life. Instead, its offering you a tougher, bumpier and full of pot-holes road-but a road that leads the Cross. So basically, its a much better road.

SooOoooOOOO...new week, new month. This coming week is looking almost as dreary as last week ( in the "busy-ness" department), and yes...P.S. All my job applications were pretty much denied. All of them. Which leaves me most certainly jobless for the near to distant future. So somewhere between now and then I need to become OK with not being a busy busy bee.
So the new week and the new month are promising to be all about seeking after the Harder, Bumpier Roads and not being satisfied with watching Alias Season 5 ( for lack of a better analogy-even though Season Five is pretty great.)....

My dearest Blog, I'm continually shocked with how very slow I am to learn some lessons and sometimes I worry that I'll never learn and that I'm destine to be this Silly and this Wrong for the rest of my days...luckily I've been promised:

being confident of this, that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.

Phil 1: 6

Another Great Moment.

So, I was sitting here in the coffee shop ( this is one of the ones I applied at) and I heard the Boss Man and his employee talking about the new girl he had hired. How she was so great and had this great dynamic smile. Boo. Someone else has a better smile than me.

That's what it boils down to.

My darndest.

I woke and cried.

I know, right? How pitiful can you get?!?! But, I think I'm allowed at least one ( ok, two) such days in a week! For one thing I woke up with a headache. Which, you know, isn't suppose to happen because of the doctors magical drugs!!! I also woke up with the knowledge that I had NOTHING to do today. nothing.

My calendar was completely empty, which is something that has not happened ( except when I voluntarily wanted it to) since I moved back to Washington...and yet this week its happened SEVERAL times. This is beyond depressing and made me want a job more than anything, and it made me feel sorry for myself too. Everyone else has somebody. My somebody is in Afghanistan.

Yeah, yeah, wah wah waaaaah!

I just feel like I've been slapped upside the head a couple of times, though. I mean, if I look closely at what I have been doing it. I could definitely have put more time and effort into bible studies....and I'm sure I could have written some more letters...and maybe I could have volunteered somewhere?! I mean, I'm pretty sure this is all my fault. Its just sometimes you just wish life was easier. That you didn't have to Work So Hard to make things happen. Work So Hard to be happy.

So, today, since I already knew I was in a "bad way" I decided to NOT watch Alias. ( which is what I really wanted to do)...instead, I went to wal-mart and researched cakes for Amy's Babyshower, and I read The Shack and I took a nap, and now I'm sitting in Forza's coffee shop watching customers trickle in every once in a while.
And now I'm going to prepare my bible study for Sunday night.

So far today...

Today:

I went with Amy to look at her baby ( via Ultra sound..obviously. What did you think?!?)
And while there is no way to tell, at this point, if he's going to be a normal human baby boy or a mighty morphin power ranger....I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that all's well inside of Amy's tummy. And come April I'm going to have a new baby to hold and spoil. Excellent. It also sorta kinda made me want to have a baby. But if you repeat that, I will deny it tomorrow.

Today I also ate chinese food that may or may not be playing tricks on my stomach right now. ugg.

Today I got my nails painted dark blue in preparation for the Rock Star party I'm going to on Saturday night....I'm pretty sure dark blue is a patented color of rockstar nails.

Today I felt less tired than yesterday, but still very tired. Meaning that while taking HALF the "prevention of migraines" medicine was better than the WHOLE ( which left me feeling drugged for the entirety of yesterday)...I'd say we're still not at 100%.

Today I paid off my credit card bill. Which is terribly satisfying because I've starting putting EVERYTHING that I buy in a month on the credit card, which gives me that delightful satisfaction of knowing exactly how much money I've spent in a given month. This month...less than last month. Even though this month included a plane ticket to New York. Good job, Abigail! ;-)

Alias: a relationship story

So, for the past two months I've been watching Alias. I lie. For the past month I've been watching Alias. I mean, I wish I could say its been two months because then the fact that I'm on season FOUR ( and towards the end of it, I might add) wouldn't seem so terribly wrong and then all of you would actually believe that I do things during the day and, infact, don't sit around watching TV. ( I really do usually only watch Alias in bed before I go to sleep.....it just takes a long time to go to sleep. ;-)

Alias is one of those shows that I watched in high school. Or the end of high school. And then I moved to New Zealand and my mom would actually TAPE the shows for me and send them to me in the mail on VHS tapes. *pause to let that sink in*
At the time this did not seem particularly lame, but now looking back I cannot IMAGINE how sad I must have been that I loved TV shows SO MUCH that I couldn't bare to wait from them to come out on DVD....OooOoOooh!! That's right! This was before TV shows came out on DVD!!!! Whew! I'm not as lame as I thought ( but still pretty lame, lets not lie...) I'm just really OLD! Anyway, back to the story....so my mom would send me Alias on VHS and I pretty much watched all of season two that way....waiting patiently for my mom to send me recordings of prime time television- which I would then take my VHS tape up to my friend Lydia's flat and I'd watch my shows, fastforwarding the commercials ( but sometimes...when I was really homesick for the US, I'd watch the commercials just to remind me of what Coke looked like in the states. *sigh*) Annnyway, then my mom sent me the final tape, the tape that had the FINALE of season two on it...and I was SO excited!!!! I remember how ran up the hill to the flat ( probably huffing and puffing...because how can we forget the 30 pounds I gained those first years in college?!?! MAN!!! Who can resist New Zealand food, right?!?)
SO! I finally get to the flat and I'm watching Alias...and BOY! Its SOO good, and I'm on the edge of my seat! And the big cliff hanger is coming...and....and.....the tape cuts off!!! I then screamed so loud that Sunshine heard me downstairs and had to come up and check to make sure I was alive.

It was at this point that I lost interest in Alias. Because, lets be honest...once the sting of the loss of the last two minutes of Season two wore off, I was able to LET GO...and move forward with my life.....and it wasn't until recently that I even thought about Sydney and Vaughn or Marshall ( the BEST character. by far) at all!

But, there is nothing like having ones husband leave for 12 months to leave a giant hole in your schedule and thus force you to return to old friends....so I picked up this old dusty relationship with the help of my friend Bethany and her 5 seasons on DVD. ( she's so young, she probably doesn't remember a life without TV shows on DVD......she has NO IDEA how HARD it was back in the olden days!)....And so I began at the beginning and I relived the joys of season one when Sydney is all angsty and whiny about having to LIE to her friends and co-workers about her true identity ( geez, girl! get over it!) and yet season one is really awesome because there are lots more "dress up sequences" which, to be honest, make the show great....who really CARES about some made-up organization that needs to be taken down when you've got cute outfits and awesome wigs to look at and critic?!? Of course, by now I'm hooked...and I remembered why I loved Alias in the first place and so I was off and running into season two-which was highly anticipated because that's the season of Sydney+Vaughn= most inprobable makeout scene winners of the world, happens...
Seriously. Its worth the whole season. Its seriously unbelievably funny.

But, then I moved on to season three...but maybe I moved on too quickly? And I was starting to be annoyed by all the spying and all the sydney whining and all the girl fights. BUT, as luck would have it, I took a trip to NY for the weekend, giving Alias and I much needed "space" to work out our differences and I came back with a more open mind and the commitment to overlook the shortfalls and make season three work. And, my hardwork paid off...with the death of the MOST ANNOYING Character EVER.

Which brings us to Season four. Which, so far, is my favorite. Its pretty much a repeat of season one..( and if you've seen season four you know EXACTLY what I'm talking about...its almost laughable how similar it is!!!) exept, unlike season 1, the show has worked out its kinks and figured out what works. ( aka. MORE MARSHALL...the best character ever.) Soooooo, friends and family....when you are all tucked up in your warm beds and you think about me...and you wonder what I'm doing to pass the cold, lonely nights without my husband....wonder no longer.
Or at least for the next 4-7 days ( which is how long I'm guessing it will take me to finish season four and complete season five)....after which I suppose all have to find a new quasi-relationship show to watch.

Another shot at life.

So, yesterday morning I woke up with another full blown migraine that actually made me sick to my stomach...and hopeless. Having a migraine for ONE day is bad...but spreading headaches out over a two week period will make a person go insane. So off I went to the doctor....
Which, I gotta say, is always a toss up. You really never know what you're gonna get....buuut, when you're desperate, you're desperate, ya know? So finally after sitting, waiting, pleading I finally saw some nameless PA ( I probably was told his name but I didn't really pay attention) who had long scraggly hair...on the sides. ( zero hair on top) and weird glasses from 1982. Yet, this nameless PA gave me about 10 minutes of attention where I almost cried because I so wanted relief and then he told me that the reason my headache was continuing for so long was because the medicine I was given last time wasnt working ( you think?) and that it wasn't enough to break the "pain cycle"...therefore the ongoing migraines. Made sense.
Thus a shot in the rear end. Nothing like having to pull your pants down half way to make a person feel better...but honestly, I would have done ANYTHING at that point!

The other highlight of the day was receiving another medication that is usually used for depression but, when given in smaller doses at bedtime can actually PREVENT migraines from happening! GLORY BE! The PA reminded me, like three times, that I wasn't actually "crazy" or anything.....but I honestly could care less....I mean, as far as I was concerned I was depressed...and me not getting migraines will make me the OPPOSITE of depressed!

So now it is time for us to all cross our fingers and hope that have no more headaches to report this week...or next...or ever ( wouldn't that be GRAND?!)

Lucky thirteen...

I slept for thirteen hours last night. I did this on purpose because I was sick and tired of this horrible headache that I've had off and on for two weeks. I decided sleep would surely cure said headache.

I suppose it did. If by cure you mean not really that bad today. *sigh* I really should go through the motions of getting a doctors appointment. But I know they won't tell me anything of value...depressing.

In other news, today I ate terrible Thai food ( as a rule any restaurant that says they serve Chinese food and Thai food, probably serve bad versions of both...), but I just HAD to try it since its literally a block away from my house and wouldn't it have been AWESOME if I'd had good thai food that close to home?!? Sadly, one can only dream....
Also, the fortune cookie that came with my Thai food ( that should have been my warning)...didnt have a fortune in it. That's right. It was an empty cookie.
Not sure if that's a good sign or not.

I did, however, have SOME luck today...thanks to my thrifty friend who continually makes me feel like a bad house wife because I buy my yogurt at the full price ( $.50...baaaaad Abigail, BAD!) who told me about the RedBox movie deal that allowed me to rent a movie for FREE on mondays! Oh yes, she might make me feel guilty about some things...but I'll forgive her because its not really her fault, and I got to watch this semi-good move, How to Lose Friends and Alienate People for free! YAY!

I also ate icecream and chocolate cookies for dinner. I did this because I was celebrating the fact that my high cholesterol, really IS hereditary ( finally another family member goes to the doctor! Its about time! I can't be the ONLY one who's sickly! hehehe)....and not my fault at all. Nothing like passing the blame and eating dessert for dinner!

Excuse me while I'm mushy.

"You're ruining me
with secrets and gestures and looks
With sonnets and second-hand books
Playing the chords in me
nobody knew how to play...
Your eyes are full of the future of us." ( not my words, but Brooke Fraser)

I miss Him.

Magnetic

Today I endured the serious road-rage from some dude in a shiny SUV to get to Hello Cupcake so Cindy and I could indulge in a sugar high. *sigh* Quite the tradeoff...but geez, people can be rude!

In other news, I'm suppose to be cleaning my house, but instead I'm watching Alias season 3. Hard. to. stop.


This week just flew by...probably since Monday and Tuesday went by in a fog of the past weekend wrap up. But, it was ultimately a productive week! I have this weird feeling of trepidation about staying busy...its like every week goes by and I'm always surprisingly busy, but at the end of each week I have a minor freak out along the lines of, "what if next week isnt busy?! How will I justify my existence then?!!"

Buuuut, I'm trying to learn how to be more patient and trust. One day I'll figure out that my life isn't mine.


I just finished up making the invites for Amy's baby shower. I'm semi-satisfied with them....I think my favorite part is that they're magnets. I love invites that are also magnets...I always put invites on the fridge anyway, so this way you put out the middleman magnet. ;-)

What its all about ( apparently).

So, I'm once again back in the Northwest...still without a job, and less and less hopes that I'm going to actually get one. But, then again...both of these verses presented themselves today:

The first one is my memory verse this week ( which is pretty much cheating since I think I've already had it memorized for years).
Seek first His Kingdom and His righteousness and all these things shall be added to you. Matt 6:33

And then in my quiet time tonight I came to this verse which says almost the same thing ( but, hey, sometimes we need things repeated for us!), "But seek His kingdom and these things will be added to you." Luke 12:31

And thus, today I spent from 8:30am-6:30pm "baby-sitting" a friend who got her wisdom teeth taken out....I honestly think I might be ok with not having a job if it means this is what I get to do instead. I'm perfectly happy as long as I feel a tad bit useful at the same time....

Of course, it should be noted that I have a wonderful husband who makes it possible for me to do nice things for other people without having to ask for money in return...he's really the greatest most generous person in the world!

In other news I talked to Anna, Amy B, Amy K and Chuck on the phone today...thank goodness my cell phone plane restarted or I'd be in trouble! Those minutes go by fast!!!

What Recovery looks like

-Talking to Brett on the phone ( half way through the conversation I realized I was smiling for no reason...)
-Laying in a warm bed ( something I hadn't done in four days) for a good hour after waking up.
-Eating lunch with Katie without having to leave my house.
-Preparing for my Tuesday night Bible Study talk ( the first one I've had to do here at Fort Lewis. ekk!)
-Watching four episodes of Alias.
-Eating "Mac-a-Bees" ( the name Brett came up for Macaroni and Cheese mixed with black beans.)
-Having a really low-key, yet awesome Bible study with Lindsay and Tina. ( how quickly I've fallen in love with these girls!)
-Chatting with my sister-in-law on the phone.

I feel so much better, and my headache seems to be better, so we'll see! Tomorrow I'm playing nurse for a friend who's getting her wisdom teeth removed. I'm praying there's no blood...I'm NOT good with blood.

I'm back....

My weekend was pretty crazy....and started off strong with a migraine on the plane on the way to New York, a migraine so intense that it started with actual blurred vision before the pain actually even started...it was as if I had looked into a light for a long time and couldn't get my eyes to refocus! It was scary, and also awful since I was a good thirty thousand feet up in the air, facing a weekend of intense Navigator styleness....
But, thanks to all those who prayed for me! I do believe those prayers were answered because I was able to do everything I needed to do and not throw up on anyone or be too overly cranky! So I'd say it was a success even if I didn't feel 100% all weekend!
I am now needing a weekend to recover from my weekend! But, sadly this will not get to happen....things are starting to look busy once again-so before everyone starts to realize I'm home I'm going to spend some quality time with my eyes closed. ;-)

2 years, 1 month....

2 years ago and one month to the day...I went to the Navigators Military Conference outside of Albany, New York. I was really impressed and freaked out all at the same time... all of a sudden it started to become very real to me what a life married to Brett would look like and that was scary...it was scary because it was all so new, it was not the ministry I had envisioned for myself, and it was not the life I had envisioned for myself...I started to wonder if I had it all wrong! But, then after going home and freaking Brett out by telling him what I was thinking, Brett and I came to a turning point in our relationship. I had to make the decision whether I could follow Brett, whether that meant in the army, or as part of the navigators or if it meant going off to Timbuktu...and it started to become very clear that that was not only exactly what I wanted to do, it was exactly what I was suppose to do.

fast forward and we're here....

Tomorrow I'm leaving for Albany, New York to attend the annual Navigators Military Conference yet again.....
how much has changed!

I just found my journal from that trip back in early 2007 and I had to smile at the notes I took at the different sessions. So many of the concepts and thoughts were no longer foreign or new to me ( good ol' navigators! Gotta love those illustrations!), and the relationship of Yesterday is the marriage of Today....
so much has changed!

That ministry that I never thought I could be a part of, is the ministry that I moved back to Washington for, and that life that I never thought I could live is the very life I have. I look back at my journals in awe that all those times that I prayed over and over again that God would "direct my path"...He did! And as much as I have changed....
The Lord, He has not changed at all!

prolonging the inevitable.

My bed is so nice and toast and warm right now! And I'm looking out of my window at blue sky and snow...and honestly, I just want to stay in bed all day and stare outside! But, since I already did that whole "stay in bed all day" thing once this week I'll just blog and get up after that.

Yesterday, at around 5:30 I went into Coffee Shop #1 to re-turn in my resume....and wouldn't you know it? But Boss Man was THERE!! It was truly a miracle since he was literally there for five minutes before leaving again! But, I was able to directly hand him my resume and Awesome Letter and talk to him for a few minutes. I don't know how my first impression was, but I do feel strongly that if God can make all these coincidences happen He can get me a job too! ( if He wants!) It looks like Boss Man is not even sure if he is going to hire anyone in the next little while, but at least I put myself into his mind as an option! We'll see!!

I think that God is teaching me about what 'work' is and what I should or shouldn't be doing to feel like I'm being an active member of society. Its a hard lesson!

Oddly enough, as Brett and I wait to see what his next step of fate in the army will be, I also feel this sense of calm that God knows better than we do about what that step should be, I just pray that He gives us hearts to accept whatever it is joyfully! ( this is already hard, since the idea of moving again in 8 months is NOT a joyful one!)...But, I am actually a little bit ( lets not get too carried away!) excited about the unknown adventures and new places to live that are in our future! I'd just like Brett to be around to enjoy them with me a little more ;-)

picture proof

Here is pictorial proof of numbers 1. and 2. on my last blog post.
Enjoy! ;-)

Stolen.

So, remember how I said I needed to pray for my friends more?! Remember that? Well, apparently God thought that Monday would be a good day for me to spend all day with my eyes closed ( in prayer, I guess)...and I woke at 4am with a mother of a migraine. Awesome.

Thus a day of me laying in bed.

The only REAL problem with this scenario ( since let's not lie, I don't do that much on Mondays), is that the night before I heard through the grapevine that some friends were sitting in Coffee Shop #1 ( the first one that I left my application at)....and heard the boss-man looking over applications and lamenting that the girl he wanted to hire wouldnt call him back....sooooooOo being good friends and looking out for me, my friends asked him about ME and said he should hire ME because I'm wonderful and experienced and so on and so forth...so Boss-Man proceeds to look through his applications and can't find mine there at all!

SOME ONE STOLE IT! Or threw it away ( or the less dramatic reason: it got lost)!!!
Anyway, whatever the case, all day yesterday between my blurry sight and shooting pain I could only think about how my job prospects were slipping away because someone misplace my resume and I wasn't going to get it back in in time!

Of course, all of this WOULD happen after I'd gotten all calm and peaceful about NOT having a job. Nice. Fantastic timing per usual.

For what its worth, I'll be taking in ANOTHER resume and cover letter in this evening ( that's apparently when the boss man is usually in) in the hopes that I will have a second chance. I will also try and bear in mind that all of this is in God's hands....*sigh*

Other things going on in my life today:
1. Its snowing. Pretty hard.
2. I'm making cookies for Bible Study tonight.
3. We're doing a special talk on Purity this evening...should be interesting! But, we've been praying about this for over a month so I'm hoping it'll go well!
4. I'm starting to think about packing for my trip to New York this weekend. I'm thinking mittens are in order.
5. I'm putting my flannel sheets on my bed today. Its just that cold.

Fuzzy wuzzy, wasn't very fuzzy was he?

I'm just waking up from an afternoon nap. ahhhhh! I think I really needed it! I can usually tell when a MUST HAVE nap is coming on because a headache starts to creep into the back of my temples....

But, now I'm sitting on my couch with a quilt, and my Brett Bear Waterbottle, finishing but my bible study for tonight...

This weekend has been pretty eventful-not so much in my own life but in my intercessory life...meaning the people that I pray for the most just got bumped up a couple of notches and I'm struck once again for the need to spend time in prayer on a daily basis for those I care about.

But, since all of that is very vague and not very blog-interesting how about I give you a review of the two movies I saw this weekend? Sound good?

Marley and Me. Now, my bro-in-law gave Brett and I this book on CD for our drive from Washington to Kansas many moons ago and we loved it! We laughed, we cried ( seriously, we both did!) and it was definitely a great little book. The movie, I must admit was also good at capturing the way in which life can take us in directions that we didn't expect, and that some of the sacrifices we make, for family and for those we love, can make that different direction turn into the life we truly love and would not give up....all through the story of a family dog no less! I will say this, though...the book did a much better job of capturing Marley's admirable and sometimes truly humanizing acts of love...while the movie focused more on how crazy and out of control the dog could also be.
Watch the movie, bring some tissues....read the book and bring the whole BOX of tissues. Your choice.


On saturday I watched another movie based on a book, He's just not that into you. And while this movie had some very clever moments and made one laugh at the many lies that we often tell our friends just to make them feel better...over all this movie had waaaay too many cringe worthy scenes and focused on the sadder more terrible decisions of the Love and War of relationships then on the positive and more uplifting " exceptions" to the terrible "rule"....I spent the middle part of the movie trying to distract myself with checking my emails on my phone, it was that hard to watch! If you want to watch this movie I suggest renting it when it comes out on video and fastforwarding every scene with Scarlett Johanson ( who I just found out has the same birthday is me...but is a year younger. that's weird. I don't like her. She always plays cheating hussies in her films).

Ten things

I haven't done one of these in a while:

10 Things that make me happy:

1. My new camelbak water bottle. Although since buying it at 6pm this evening I've peed four times. Waaay more than normal.
2. My friend, Amy B. I hung out with her tonight and she made me laugh and she made me feel less weird. Mostly because she's weird too...but whatever.
3. My fireplace. Have I mentioned how it just TURNS ON when the room gets too cold ( and the thermostat is on)? How AWESOME!
4. Twizzler Pull and Peel. Cherry flavored. I like to peel them apart and then braid them. Oh. And then eat them.
5. Phone calls from phone numbers that only have six digits. Those are always from Brett.
6. The thought of sun. I'm pretty much obsessed with blue sky. I wake up, pull back my blinds and look at the sky. If its blue than it WILL be a good day.
7. The Fort Lewis movie theatre. $2 a new release movie and a stirring rendition of the Star Spangled Banner in Chipmunk voices to start the movie off...
8. Double Tall Soy Lattes. I had two today.
9. Planning Brett's R&R ( rest and relaxation...the "mid-tour break"...although its not going to be "mid")...even though I can't really plan it. I like to think about it. A Lot.
10. The Navigator Girls. I'm loving getting to know them and think of ways to make life better for them! It gets me up in the morning.

The best ever.

I just got off the phone with Brett...its after midnight and I really need to go to bed and get my beauty sleep for my second day of baby sitting for the week. But, before I go to bed a little bragging must be done:

Brett is the greatest writer ever and today I got a wonderful letter in the mail in a red envelope. I actually gasped when I saw it in the mail box. He's the only person that makes me gasp like that.

He wrote me a poem for our anniversary and he included the hardcopy in this letter....he uses the word "law-zee" in it...which I'm pretty sure is only used on the Andy Griffith Show....but yes, he was able to incorporate it into poetry. He's amazing. And I got to marry him.

And all the heavens declared... impromptu is good!

My goodness! Today was glorious! There are definitely times when life is just worth living ( isn't that good to hear?! heheh!)

Today I had my quiet time in bed and wrote Brett a letter on my new stationary that I'm loving....

I then had an impromptu lunch with Katie ( her work is seriously steps away from my front door....) which is really so delightful and reinforces the idea that I did, in fact, move into the right apartment. ;-)

My lunch collided with Amy arriving at my door and we then headed off for a walk down to a trail that overlooks Puget Sound. Glorious glorious day, people. Seriously, it was up to 60 degrees and the sun was shining and the wonders of God's creation ( particularly the mountains and the ocean) where a blaze with light. So Amy and I walked and talked until our legs almost feel off.
A note should now be made that we walked FIVE MILES and that Amy is PREGGERS and not just a little bit preggers she's up on six months pregnant. Seriously. She's a super hero.

I then rushed off to a lunch date with one of the girls from Bible Study who couldn't make it and so we just had to grab a coffee ( she is also a super hero because she's been working nights for the past few weeks and has yet to go completely insane...I honestly don't know how people do it!!).

And now I'm writing this, hoping Brett will call so that I can share this beautiful day with him....he was the only thing missing.

And then I was off to the Tacoma water front where I met up with Judy for dinner...now I've been looking forward to this for AGES, ever since she contacted me when I first moved to Washington the first time around.....Judy is one of those "puzzle pieces" of my own life and legacy since she went to college with the Parents and the Second Parents and it made me realize that the name of the conference that I'm going to next weekend which is called "Spiritual Generations" is actually played out in my own life! I am truly blessed to have such a wonderful legacy and it is an honor to try to live up to what has been laid as my foundation. And since Judy is one of my loyal blog readers I hope she knows how much FUN it was to meet her and chat and to know we have the greatest of All in common! :-)

Memory

Today I played the game "memory" with a two year old. Basically it was a game of "identify objects" because I just laid out one half of the pairs facing up, on the ground and held the other half in my hand and then I'd hand the two year old the card and say, "find the matching *fill in the blank*"
At first he'd always say, "I do sees it!!" Where?! " and then just when I thought he'd given up interest all together he'd spy the rocketship or the birthday cake ( random pictures!) and he'd laugh and laugh and say "OOOoooOOH there it is!"

I feel like there's an analogy in there somewhere but I'm too tired to find it. So I'll leave that up to you guys.

In other news, I ended up watching TV in the middle of the day today. This was a first after being here a month. I feel like that's a sign that I should seriously get a job. ( HELLO!?! Universe?! Where's my job!?!?!) But, really it was just a fluke. I had plans this afternoon but they called and canceled. So see?! It wasn't my fault I watched that episode of Alias where they finally take down SD-6 (season 2 baby! this is when the show started to get weird!)...

I have instigated a prayer meeting before Bible Study on Tuesdays. So far not many people are coming. It reminds me of my days of starting 1pm prayer back in Uni. And I am encouraged that even the prayers of one or two are heard in heaven. I am excited that once again we have the chance to see prayers being answered and at the same time reminded that we are NOT doing this in our own strength!!

All I want right now is a Little Caesars Pizza. I've been wanting one for like a week now and today I thought I'd sudate my craving my getting a personal pan pizza at Pizza Hut. Not. the. Same.
Now I want my LC even MORE! ( and I don't mean Lauren Conrad from the Hills...geez people, keep up!)

A life verse.

I got my Life Verse when I was 18.

And I'm gonna go ahead and call it a "life verse" because I don't see it dropping out of significance any time soon....

Today Amy and I did research. Or should I say I blindly googled and got no where and she contacted her "journalist friends" and found answers. She's seriously SO handy to have around...she researches my possible Future Life on the internet and I research her possible Future Life by actually living ( the army seems bent upon sending her husband on a MiT team too)...annnyway, the point of this story is that I have been feeling this unsettled feeling all day. I think its mostly the fact that my dearest and nearest here in Washington all seem to be laying Life Changing news at my door, reminding me that we just never know what's gonna happen.

To catch you up on the 'practical lives' of Brett and Abigail-we're currently waiting for the Powers That Be ( how do I get that job?!?) to tell us if Brett will get to stay in the infantry when he gets back from Afghanistan or will he will be changing to the Transportation Corp....and all of a sudden this is starting to feel real

I can't tell you how helpless I feel when the person I love the most is at the mercy at the people I hate most of all.

But, then I remember my Life Verse:

The LORD replied, "My Presence will go with you, and I will give you rest."
Then Moses said to him, "If your Presence does not go with us, do not send us up from here. How will anyone know that you are pleased with me and with your people unless you go with us? What else will distinguish me and your people from all the other people on the face of the earth?"
And the LORD said to Moses, "I will do the very thing you have asked, because I am pleased with you and I know you by name."
Ex. 33:14-16

It puts things in perspective doesn't it? It reminds me for one that that the Powers That Be are actually not that powerful afterall...AND it reminds me that no matter WHERE Brett and I go in a little over nine months the only thing that really matters is that His Presence will go with us.

And He will.

Friends, there is nothing to fear when He is the one who goes before you. I can attest to the fact that He will go with you even if you go to the opposite side of the world where you know no one. And He'll go with you if you go back to a hometown where you think you've got nothing going for you, and He'll go with you to a place that's scary and outside your comfort zone and He'll go with you to places you never saw yourself and places that you'd never thought you'd be and through it all He'll provide. He'll give you Friends when you're lonely, He'll give you direction when you're :ost, He'll give you provisions when you're Poor ( of spirit and body!), He'll give Love and He'll give Rest and above all in every place under the sun He will show Himself to be all that and More.

I know this to be true and I know it will continue to be the case. I do not know what God has in the future for Brett and I-and I suppose that's why thinking about it makes me all flummoxed in my tummy-because ultimately God has said:

"But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.
So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Matt 6:33-34

Amazing Feats

So, I made "Puppy Chow" ( the glorious Chex Cereal mix that combines the perfect tastes of chocolate, peanut butter and pure sugar in a marriage of unending love) for my Sunday Night Bible Study's "Soup-er-Bowl party" ( which incidentally was followed by our usual bible study, its great living on the west coast where the super bowl is in the middle of the afternoon! )

Annnyway, so I got into the car, placed the large bowl of Puppy Chow on the seat next to me and headed on down the road only to have my happy driving interrupted two seconds later when my car starts beeping as though a bomb was about to go off in my car. That's right, friends. I made SO MUCH SUGARY GOODNESS that it was heavy enough for my car to think that another person was sitting in the passanger seat and that "said person" needed to put their seat belt on.
So, of course, I strapped in my Choco-peanut Love Fest and we thus made it safely to our destination.

Seriously though?

Apparently I brought a child-sized desert to the event, excessive much? ( But, this is what happens when I'm left alone on a Saturday night)....But, no harm done.... it was ALL GONE at the end of the night.
Now that, my friends is sweet.

All Aboard the Crazy Train!

I am not in the habit of re-reading my blog ( at least not for a while after its been written). But, I have the sneaking suspicions that if I did in fact, reread my recent posts I'd just go ahead and pull myself out of commission.
Luckily, I do not do the whole re-read thing...and therefore I continue on in the desperate attempt to do this whole "living life" thing as best as possible.

This morning I woke up at 6:15am with a serious pain in my side. Now, just so you know...pretty much ever kidney stone I've ever had ( and I've had my unfair share...) has woken me up around the 6am hour....anyway, this pain was not that intense, but it did freak me out and make me feel very very paranoid about the possibility that if it DID get worse, what would I do?! Who would I call?!?

So, I got up, got half-way-decent-dressed, put shoes by my bed...put my backup hardcore meds on my bedside table, got a little grocery sack to throw up in ( I've done this a few times, people!), decided who I'd call to drive me to the emergency room and then went back to bed...I woke up 2 and a half hours later with a niggling feeling still in my lower abdomen but nothing too serious....

Honestly! This is what I do!?!

It does make me wonder though, I mean, this pain is more reminiscent of my endometriosis which made its debut as a "weird long lasting kidney stone" back in Early 2005 and then continued on into 2006...but then, last year, its like it just disappeared! I thought it was some sort of miracle change of body chemistry ( apparently this happens) but now I'm thinking it might be more to do with stress. Not that I didn't have any stress last year-but maybe I was more stressed the years before and then now?! Or maybe its just me being alone again? ( ha!)
Either way, I've lost 5 pounds in about two weeks.....so I'm a winner right? ( sarcasm intended).

*sigh* Al that aside, I've had a pretty satisfying day today. Had coffee with a girl ( I only have two more to go and I'll have gone through all the girls I need to do a preliminary meet! yay!) which turned into a lovely chat...and then I returned home and bought tickets to the Navigator Conference coming up in New York....this is a conference that I decidedly did NOT want to go to because...well....the first time I went I was well and truly freaked out...and while I didn't expect it to freak me out this time around ( ahhhh! How I've grown! hehehe!)....to be honest I was just tired of traveling around and tired of 'learning' ( bad attitude, Abigail!)....but after my desperate attempts to have a good reason NOT to go where all shot down by the people that I respect a lot...I gave in, and now I'm genuinely excited!
There are three ( maybe four) other girls going...and each one them I think the conference will be both challenging and eye-opening and maybe just as scary as it was for me the first time around ( and it still is to some degree!) so I'm looking forward to sharing it with them...besides, this year was suppose to be about me learning more, ministry speaking, and what better way than this conference!?

So, yes, mark your calendars...looks like I'll be spending my Valentines Day in New York State! ( probably for the best since I'm doubting the day would be that special otherwise...ahhhh! deployment....)

Done

So, today I did in fact talk to several people....because, lets face it, I'd have to seriously go on vacation and someone would have to release my phone from my cold and clammy palm before I REALLY was off the radar!
But, today was good.....not like extraordinary and no miracles occurred. But, I know that the Lord was with me all day and sometimes its nice to just stop and talk to Him for a while.

Things that happened:

I had a surprising request from someone who wants to "disciple" me. I did not see it coming to be honest and do not quite know how to proceed. Let's just say I'm still praying about this one...

I had a surprise phonecall from Brett this morning which was good-since, lets face it-this whole long distance marriage thing is starting to take a serious toll on us both...

I finished buying up things for Brett's February Box of Love. ( actually its not terribly romantic...some of the things for the box included two study books for the GRE, the masters programs admittance test. ew.) But, that's a cool name for a box so we'll go with it.... Those of you who want to know some facts about box sending it'll be at the end of this post***

I went and watched the movie Bride Wars....and I cried. I mean, I know that it was suppose to be a romantic comedy and I did in fact laugh out loud several times...but I cried at the ending ( a little bit before that too...) and that's when I realized I might be seriously going crazy.

I had two quiet times.

I broke my days fast with Indian food and a glass of Red ( which totally broke my "don't drink alone" rule...but I figure since I'm telling you about it, and since the whole day was about me being alone...you'll forgive me.

To be honest I'm still a bit melancholy, but I know that my life is not in my own hands-which is a very comforting thought. Tomorrow is a brand new day! And I will try extra hard not to do everything in my own strength!

**For those of you who have sent baked goods to Brett, or who would like to send them in the future. So far they have all arrived without too much destruction. From what I understand the best way to go is to pack the cookies in small groups in ziploc bags with paper towels ( to keep them moist) and then use other packing means ( whether that be inside another, smaller box or tin...or just using packing supplies) to make sure they are as secure as possible to reduce breakage.
Brett has only had great things to say about the baked goods that he's received so far...and really ALL your wonderful letters, pictures, packages and prayers have been a delight and blessing to him. We are REALLY blessed to have such wonderful friends and family! In fact, Lindsay even had her elementary school class send Brett cards ( awesome!) which he thought was really great!

An introverted extrovert

That's me.
I think it really surprises people sometimes when I say that I'm an introvert. And really, its probably not even really true. Its just that one of the main definitions of being an extrovert is that you are rejuvenated and built up by people. This is not the case with me! I'm pretty much the worse combination of personality types possible since its pretty much against my nature to turn down a party or a conversation or a coffee date or pretty much anything that anyone asks me to be a part of-I'm totally there for every second and " yes please! I WOULD like to be the "center" of whatever your doing!"
Yet, when I leave said coffee or I hang up the phone or I leave the party ( and probably the last one to leave at that!) I am tired and not just physically tired, but MENTALLY tired!

So, after a full on week last week and a pretty full on week this week ( so far! Apparently its only Wednesday night-but from what's gone down already this week-you'd think it was February so much has happened!)...I've decided to take a mini-holiday.

I'm not really sure how well that's gonna work since I don't have much self-control in this area but I going to try not to reply to emails, text messages or answer my phone and I'm going to try really really hard not to have lunch or coffee with anyone ( no matter how great the person is or no matter HOW much I want to talk to them.)
*sigh*
I need to go against my own desires for a "constant party" and stop to take a reprieve.

I think it when I burst into tears this evening and sobbed for a good two minutes that I got the "clue" that I did NOT in fact have it all together.

And to end this post, here are some verses that have struck me today and maybe tomorrow I'll actually take the time to ponder them and not just rush through and on to the next thing....

They had not celebrated..in great numbers as is prescribed" 2 Chrn. 30:5b

The Lord your God is gracious and compassionate, and will not turn His face away from you if you return to Him. 2 Chrn 30: 9

The hand of God was also on Judah to give them one heart to do what the king had commanded by the word of the Lord. 2 Chrn 30:12

Behold God is my salvation
I will trust and not be afraid
For the Lord God is my strength and song
And He has become my salvation....
Give thanks to the Lord, call on His name.
Make known His deeds among the peoples.
Make them remember that His name is Exalted.
Is. 12:2,4

Its not you, its me...

Today, I had the most blah day known to man. Mostly because of my own silliness and completely because of my own big fat mouth....
Remember how I told you about the great conversation and wonderful encouragement that I got from my weekend conference a while back?! Well, turns out some of the things that I was asking advice and help about were woven into some serious drama and hurt for my leaders here at Fort Lewis. I feel pretty much AWFUL about it and its a long story, but lets just say that I'm bummed and that I've been reminded that no matter how old I think I am ( maturity wise) there is ALWAYS something for me to learn and there is ALWAYS a plethora of mistakes for me to make...

Thank goodness I have great and gracious friends who forgive me and love me and laugh at me when the situation arises.

I totally forgot!

One of the weirdest things about living in Washington, so close to Mount Rainier, is that it is often cloudy/foggy for so many days in a row that you forget its there...and then one day you wake up, drive to the commissary and on the way you turn a corner and BAM! There it is....and all you can say is, 'whoa'

In response to this weekend:

... by Him all things were created, both in the heavens and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities--all things have been created through Him and for Him. ( Col 1:16)

caffeine high

So, today I took a big deep breath.
Of course, I had no choice really....I was an hour long drive thru line for my meds at Madiagan Hospital ( you'd THINK the drive thru would be faster than the inside pharmacy...you'd be wrong). But, anyway, I took the time to sit in my car with the music up nice and loud...and thanks to my wonderful/fabulous phone I was able to do the following:
-texts some invites for this evenings wii tournament
-reply to several emails
-put some new appointments into my calendar.
-Read chapter 3 of Genesis as part of my preparation for bible study on sunday
-catch up on some blogs
-text some people about coming to church on Sunday
-call my sister
-play a few iphone games

Nice....I don't know what I use to do without my phone! Man, that must have been lame. ;-)

In other news, remember how I was bemoaning the fact that I still hadn't been able to pursue job openings like I had planned? Well, yesterday I woke praying....I felt overcommited and a bit stressed-but my day turned out GREAT! My first coffee date was at Starbucks......the day before I had tried to no avail to get to a starbucks to pick up their application to fill out....and there I was for a coffee date! So I picked one up on the way out the door! And then on to my next coffee date of the day....which was at the Forzas Coffee place in Dupont ( a short walk from my front door)...where I was able to drop off my resume and cover letter on my way in for my coffee date! YAY!
And THEN my coffee date this MORNING was at Starbucks again, but this time it was at the Starbucks that I actually want to apply at, so I was able to drop off my filled out application. WOO!
Isn't that splendid?!
I was able to do all the ministry things that I wanted to do, PLUS do the personal things that I really wanted to get done...It was just nice confirmation that even if I don't get a job, I know that God has a hand in everything I do...

Now, I know, I know...you're probably all marveling about how many times I have coffee in a day...and believe me I think its pretty intense too! But, I promise...I really doubt its gonna be this hardcore for the rest of the year...right now I'm just trying to make sure I meet up with all the girls that I need to ( and that's quite a few!), to make sure i get a good feel for what's going on and what everyone needs....so far, its been a blast! I've been praying for these girls for a few weeks now and I feel like there is a LOT of cool things that have the potential to happen this year! I'm in over my head...but just exactly where i want to be. :-)

I'm pretty sure I need to go back to decafe though...I feel off the wagon this week...but my sleep is suffering big time!! My poor body is not use to three coffees in one day! hahaha

In my spare time I'll get a job....

So, today I was suppose to turn in a resume and a letter to a coffee house in town that I'd really like to work at plus pick up an application at another one...but my day was filled in different ways....instead a friend in need spent the night with me and I then took her to pick up her car to get it worked on...followed by an afternoon of baby-registering ( something that is fun and also educational for someone like me without a child...I nearly hyperventilated when we got to the "pump and baby bottle aisle"...whaaaat?! Where is the manual on raising a baby when you need it!?! But, I'm happy to say that Amy is far more prepared than I'd be and therefore I'm glad SHE'S doing it first...I'm definitely learning a lot from her already!!) But, even though I didn't get what I was SUPPOSE to do today done, I was very much happy that I could be there for moral support and picture taking at Baby Registry Day...

But, then I came home and crashed. Thus, no application turning in just yet. AND on top of that...sigh....I don't know when I'm going to do it tomorrow either since I've got a coffee followed closely by me babysitting for a friend followed by another coffee....geez. I'm kinda wondering if its SELFISH to get a job! ( I hope you know that while I write that sentence I'm saying "pleasepleaseplease let me get a job!" in my head.)

I'm not giving up just yet. I've got several more days in the week left for me to "put myself out there"....and while I'm at it I'm tempted to go ahead and add "multiple coffee dates per day" as one of my skills...come on, people! That's gotta be worth something ;-)

Obama

HAHAHAHA! Just kidding! I'm not going to talk about the new president of the US....its just that so far today EVERY blog that I read has made mention, so I didn't want to feel left out.

I'm currently procrastinating writing a cover letter for my resume that I plan to hand out tomorrow....blah. I hate cover letters.
I hate resumes. I hate job hunting.

What I loooove is that I can now plug my iphone ( and my ipod) into my car...and listen to music through my stereo...but THAT'S NOT ALL!!!! When my phone rings, or when I get a text message, the music fads away and the phone rings or dings ( depending on the message type) THROUGH the stereo! No missed calls for Abigail! Way to love technology!

Introducing: "fancy pants apartment" ( come visit!)

The Swing

I feel like its been so long since I've posted a post worth posting-but the only way to make that happen again is practice practice practice. ( or something).

So, without further ado. My weekend at the Navigator "Ignite" Conference. It was basically a gathering of the NorthWest Navigator ministries, mostly geared towards the campus ministries, but with workshops and such- with a lot of input from the Seattle Metro ministries...and of course the Military ministry provided....ummmm....we provided the most people, and the LOUDEST people ( our group was definitely the most opinionated, outspoken group of the bunch...)-which doesn't it make sense that I'd be a part of that group?!

The weekend turned out to be personally rewarding not because of the main speaker, or the worship or the really awesome food or "goodie bags" or even the fabulous hotel...I got the most out of talking with the Navigator staff members who were there at the conference, I learned about some of the other ministries that the Navs have to offer and I was delighted to find that I can now recommend any number of options to people who want to get plugged into a Christian community that is going to be Bible based and discipleship focused...options that pretty much meet people in ALL sorts of walks and seasons of life. Pretty cool!


This weekend I also felt affirmation that my desire to see more prayer within the Fort Lewis ministry was definitely something that needs to happen and that I should not be afraid to do what I can to see that into a reality. I have always felt passionate about prayer, but I have felt a re-igniting of that over the past few weeks and this weekend was big encouragement that I needed...
Funny story, I was assigned to lead a small group discussion at the end of each day of the conference and the first night I arrived at my small group to find that I had an older guy mixed in with my girls. Weird. But I just went with it ( apparently all the groups were suppose to be a "mix" but mine was a bit one sided)....I then went ahead with what I had planned and ended my small group with a prayer time and before we prayed I made a small little appeal for them to not be afraid to sit and silence and just listen to what the Holy Spirit might have to say ( I've found that there is a sad lack of 'waiting upon the lord' up here)....weeelllll, it didn't take very long into the prayer time to realize that this dude could pray(!) and lucky for me ( or I would NOT have made my lame-o appeal about prayer ) I found out AFTER the group was over for the night that this dude was Nav Staff and he and his wife were running the workshop on Prayer the next day! HA!
Anyway, I went to their workshop and it was SO wonderful to hear what they had to say...sometimes even just hearing Truths you know, but haven't heard spoken out loud in a while is JUST what the heart needs ....
The next night the Dude brought his wife along to our small group study and we got to talking about the Fort Lewis girls ministry....I am now excited that I have this new contact close by ( they run the Spectrum Asian American ministry in Seattle) that I can us as an added resource and encouragement this year! I feel like this is just ONE MORE affirmation that the Lord is here with me and that He WILL not just leave me to my own devises...but that my desire to learn more about ministry is really going to happen! I think I might actually get TAUGHT! Woo hoo!

The other great thing about this weekend was just getting to spend some more quality time with a hand full ( only four of us went) of the girls.... especially with Katie, who is a dear friend who I have missed so much over the past six months!

So, all in all, it was a perfect weekend and all that I could have wanted as a nice "kick off" to my time here at Fort Lewis.

The other thing I decided over the weekend was how I want to start my job search:
Three resumes...three coffee shops ( that's the ones here in Dupont, and yes that includes the Evil Corporation)....praying hard and hope for an opening!

24 (hours)

I'm currently watching 24 on DVD with Bethany...in my living room....you know what THIS means?! It means my computer is working again.

Those Apple Genius people are my heros. I didn't have to buy anything ( at least not yet).

I'll be blogging again very soon!

boring facts.

I'm currently using the Fancy-Pants Club House computers. And even though I don't really have anything to blog about I thought I'd drop you a line nonetheless just so you wouldn't forget me.

I'm hoping against hope that I will have my own computer sorted out over the weekend and I'll be able to be back on line 24/7 in the very near future.

I'm starting to settle into my new place. I'm pretty much completely unpacked, which is fabulous. I really can't tell you how wonderful it is to have a kitchen all to myself again! YAY!

And I'm beginning to get use to living alone again. So far it hasn't been too bad since I've been getting back into the swing of ministry coffee dates, I've actually been pretty busy-but today I really have nothing going on and I've had to fight the urge to stay productive. I'm praying that my job search ( that begins next week!) will go quickly...so I don't have TOO MUCH free time on my hands.

Nor

I don't like blogging from my phone, but this was too good.... The second half of a verse struck me tonight:
"...nor do we know what to do, but our eyes are on You."
2 Chrn 20:12

That's exactly how I feel these days...

All ruffled

So, on Saturday I moved.

It sounds all nice and tidy and in the end I guess it was....I had a whole hand full of able bodied boys ( some I didn't even know! Gotta love "ministry boys") that moved everything, and Mike came through one more time to drive the moving van for me-so I literally didn't lift a finger...but there was a LOT of stress, stress about the apartment, stress about the moving van ( the company I booked with didn't have a truck for me ( BUDGET CAR RENTALS IS EVIL DON'T USE THEM!!!) leaving Mike and I driving around frantically calling every place in town)...and generally me being uptight.

But, yes, end of the day everything was well...and I was walking around a nice and shiny new fancy-pants apartment in a lovely little pleasantville town with all my wonderful belongings that I hadn't seen in six months piled around me...and all I wanted to do was cry.

I missed Brett so terribly in those moments it was hard to breathe. I think I thought that I had cheated that feeling by not moving into the same location and starting "over afresh"...but basically by cheating one feeling I allowed a new, horrible feeling to enter...the feeling of doing something new, starting something new without Brett there to enjoy it, be a part of it...it was hard.

But, I was reminded that this year is not about Brett or me...or us being apart. It's all about God and what He wants to do in our lives. He is loving and infinitely good. He has proved SO much for me in the past week, and while it makes me nervous that everthing has happened so FAST ( have I made a mistake by moving into fancy-pants two bedroom apartment?! Did they cheat me?!)...I know that ultimately I have a grand protector over all the details and that I must instead focus on serving Him here in this community and leave all those details up to Him!

I am already seeing the opportunities to serve and I'm excited about them....
Of course, tomorrow is full of all those "details" I just talked about-taking my car into the shop, trying to unpack, getting my address changed etc. etc....but HOPEFULLY I will remember where to put my real focus and therefore stay calm and in praise for a God who takes care of all his little birdies. ( Matt 6:26)

Sadly, now that I have officially moved I do not have access to Amy's awesome laptop any longer...so I am limited to my iphone for internet access for the time being until I get my computer fixed ( or a new one)-sooOOooOOo if I dont email you, blog, reply to your facebook comments please do not be offended. I may be offline for a bit.

Until next time.

waaaait for it...

So, I waited allllll day for the fancy-pants apartment to call and tell me that we were a "Go" for move-in tomorrow.

I didn't get said call until 5:40pm. That's right. FIVE FOURTY.

Lots of sweating it out on that one! Way to make me wait, Fancy Pants People! Way to make me reeeeeeally want it.

But, all turned out in the end and while I'm a tad nervous about the moving process tomorrow...I'm mostly EXCITED!! YAY!!! I'm finally going to have my very own home again. :-)

I can't tell you how happy that makes me. Of course, its times like these that make me miss Brett terribly. It's definitely hard to figure out how to live a life without him. I find that anything major that happens-good or bad-all I want to do is have him there with me...
********

Ok, before I shed any tears-let me go ahead and tell you that if you get the chance you MUST SEE Slumdog Millionaire-this is the most feel good, touching movie I've seen all year! I'm sad that this movie has had limited release here in the states-but I'm hoping that if it does well during award season that it'll get more promotion, because I know you'll all love it. ( me and the three retired ladies in the movie theatre with me totally enjoyed it!)

these things happen...

So, last night ( to recap) I had a blow out on my front tire and today I went to get it fixed. And as I left the tire dude flagged me down and fatherly-suggested that I get my breaks looked at as soon as possible because they were "acting a bit weird"....I had noticed this too, but I'd only been back a day for heaven's sake! And I had just assumed I was driving funny because I wasn't use to my car. *sigh* But, I guess that was too optimistic so I went and made an appointment for my car to be seen at the Toyota Dealership on Monday ( my car is still under warranty for another 4000 miles, whew!). I am now going to be THANKFUL that ( like an idiot) I hadn't rotated my tires before driving long distances and therefore prematurely needing two new tires, and therefore having someone tell me that I needed to get my car checked out all before the warranty runs out....so....yes. I suppose those are GOOD things.

So, I suppose the whole sentiment that when it rains it pours is true-especially since it has literally NOT stopped raining since I got back here on Monday night. Not helping things!

I did however fill out an application for the fancy-pants apartment today. Hopefully that will be approved ( thanks to my husband and HIS income. meh!) and I will be able to move in on Saturday or something ( honestly, PLEASE stop RAINING!!!).

At least the apartment already has a nice name ( fany-pants has a certain ring to it) and if all goes well and I get it-then I am already starting to pray that God would use the fancy-pants apartment for His good work and that I can bless LOTS of people in it! I can hardly wait to have my own kitchen again! YAY!
Cookies anyone?

Positive things about the day:
A long overdue chat with Lydia, A pedi-date with Amy, and making dinner with Leah. Friends a great blessing

the straw

The last straw:

I was driving to Bible Study in pour down rain ( who says that it only "drizzles in Washington" should be shot) and all of a sudden BAM!!!
And after I had checked myself to see if I had been shot, I became aware of the fact that my car was making a Thumpity-thumpity sound and sure enough my front right tire had given up on life as we know it.

( have you noticed a theme among my most expensive posessions?! They have all decided to give up on life at once!!!)

Anyway, the good things about this situation were:
I was just about to pull into bible study so I was able to drive into saftey.
Mike Wright was just dropping off Katie at Bible Study and changed my tire in the rain. God bless him.

So, the whole thing brought me to tears....mostly because I felt so little. I felt like a little kid trying to "play adult" and all I'd gotten was a flat tire and a bunch of un-answer life questions....I still didn't know what to do about the apartment or annnnything.

But, you know what? The tire thing did remind me that while God didn't stop the bad thing from happening-He did protect me and bless me through it...and I know He will not stop with just a tire!

Side of reality and an order of life

Last night I arrived in Washington, settled in at Amy and Luke's and went to bed totally exausted and then I started to think....and thus several hours past of me wondering what in the world I was doing here.
I mean, sure it all made sense months ago, and it even made sense weeks ago, and technically it made sense yesterday...and even sorta kinda made sense in the moment...I just didn't feel it AT ALL.

I mean, I have no idea what I'm doing.

Today I got up, shed a few tears and then headed out to find an apartment ( first order of business)...I visited three places before 11 and started to feel a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. None of the places made me happy. In fact, none of the places that made me even remotely happy were even CLOSE to being ready in the next month-so I took a much needed break and had coffee, lunch and another coffee with Cindy ( and Andrew for a little bit) and that helped to put my mind at ease that I at LEAST had things to look forward to regarding the Navigator ministry here, which, lets be honest was the major reason for returning...
Yeah...

Looking back on that now I can see why God had me divide my day with time with them, it helped to remind me why I'm here.

After my "break" I went back to looking at apartments, this time it was at the fancy-pants apartments in Dupont ( Pleasantville, USA) that had told me over the phone that they didn't have any openings until February. However, I went and looked at the beautiful two bedroom that would be avaliable next month and I pleaded with the lady that I wanted something sooner...and then I left and I washed my hands of the whole "search for a place to live" for the day and went to the Px with Amy. And there we were in the Px and the lady at the fancy-pants place called me back and said that someone had fallen through and that I could literally move in tomorrow ( if I could move that fast)-but of course, it was in the "second tier" apartments thus more expensive...

Annnnyway, long day...and now I'm faced with some prayer concerning a fancy apartment with lots of room and a bedroom and bathroom that I don't need....

Long day.

Trying to take deep breaths.

Real World: Washington

Wow. I'm actually pretty shocked at how quickly my time here in Texas went! But, sadly, it is over and I am struggling to remember my reasons for moving back to Washington- with the snow and the darkness and the lack of family and the no home thing....
But, then again I seem to be striving for a life of 'lack of comfort' and so far this is a success!
So tomorrow I start my travel ( flying not driving this time yay!) and I'm praying hard that weather and stupid airport don't cramp my style ( and by style I mean no delays and arriving on time ).... Oh, and my computer's wireless card has said 'Thank you, and good night !' to the world as we know it, leaving me to type this blog on my iPhone and the need for a new computer at a very inconvient time....so if you don't get email or message replis from me in the next wee while- this is why. Typing with one finger cramps ones writing style- quite literally! So there you have it my friends, off on a new adventure....Updates of the exciting and not-so-exciting nature to come!

2008 in Review

In honor of the new year, I have looked back on a year of blogging and found that there is much to be thankful for, much praise to be given to a Father who indeed does guide our paths.... Without further ado: 2008

January: I was given the "surprise" of being handed the reigns to the girls ministry with the Navigators at Fort Lewis. I was overwhelmed and under qualified. The best way to start any endeavor. I continued to process what it meant to be an Army Wife ( aka. dealing with either a sleepy-tired husband or an absent one). This was the month I decided to have "more girl friends" and incidently became friends with Amy....so that worked out rather well, I suppose.

February: I spent the month throwing parties, attending parties and doing all this while being sick. Or at least that's how it seemed. It is true that I threw a lot of "gatherings" in February which basically just meant that whole "making more girl friends" meant that we doubled our friends and therefore doubled our social circle. Makes for Busy Times in the Wilson house hold. Oh, and yeah...who's surprised about the sick thing? I'm always sick.

March: In march I found my favorite recipe of Brett and my marriage thus far ( of course, my current favorite is Cindy's Enchilada Soup, but I've only had that one two months so we'll have to wait and see...) Easy Indian Samosas. Honestly, best thing ever! In fact, this month I did a lot of cooking and baking and I also watched a lot of Angel and Buffy the Vampire Slayer in between cooking. This was mostly because once again I was faced with my husband being gone. A. Lot. However, we were greatly encouraged by seeing some Spiritual Growth and hunger among the guys he was working with, a much needed boost.

April: While April was the month Brett and I found out he was going to be put on a MiTT team, I went to Texas for my sister's 30th Birthday, Brett and I went to an international soccer match, I got sick ( again), we finally reached the end of the FIVE seasons of Babylon Five that we'd been watching since the new year, and I made my first pie from scratch, Emma and Lydia visited from New Zealand, and we found out we were moving to Kansas... but by far the most crazy thing that happened in April was that some woman thought I was pregnant. yay. ( whoa, April was CRAZY!)

May: Brett and I attended a Hawaii-Mystery-Theme Party, I doubted my abilities to lead a growing girls ministry, we watched the Stroud kids play t-ball, and I continued to love my job at the coffee shop. We continued to deal with the Army's horrible way of springing things on you, Washington had some beautiful weather and we enjoyed it. Oh, and I had a kidney stone.

June: I started to feel more "calm" about our future regarding Kansas, June decided to be full of rain and 60 degree weather making me mad, we entertained my sister and her husband as well as Steve and Billie while they attended a Guitar building Conference and went and saw Mt. Rainier and Mt. Saint Helens with them at the end of their stay. I started to prepare to pack up our apartment by collecting boxes and not buying groceries. One worked better than the other. The girls ministry starts to blow up and more and more girls seem to come each week-a perfect time for TWO people to take over from the ONE me....

July: I went "camping" for the first time ever. Spent the 4th with friends eating homemade ice cream and experiencing one of the most amazing fireworks displays over puget sound. I dealt with the headache of packing up a house full of belongings and literal headaches ( lots of migraines this month). And in between all the packing, we went to an all day concert in Seattle, visited Snoqualmie Falls with friends and took a weekend trip to Canada's Victoria Island for our one year anniversary, none of which stopped me from turning into a giant Monster from all the horrible packing...of course, after the whirlwind of packing and moving we jumped on a plane and went to Texas for a much needed "break" from life where Brett said goodbye to even more family and friends.

August: Started the month out in Texas, and from there we flew back to Washington, moved our stuff into storage and hit the open road with brother Josh and Aunt Donnave heading to Kansas. We had lots of surprises in August, Kansas was not ugly, our living situation was awesome, Brett's job required lots less "working hours" and all in all adjusting to life without a job or friends or really anything to speak of was a lot easier for me than I would have thought. In short God was handing out Grace and Mercy at the door of Kansas.

September: I started volunteering at the Senior Center doing meals on wheels twice a week, I began going to the PWOC women's bible study on Fort Riley, Brett got into the swing of his new "work/training" schedule. I finally officially changed my name from Abigail Abt to Abigail Wilson with the United States Government. And Brett and I watched our lives slow waaaay way down and enjoyed every second of it.

October:I enjoyed Real Live Fall weather in Kansas while stressing about Nov-December and what I would do once Brett left ( Go to China? Teach English in a high school? Final Answer: none of the above). Brett and I spent a long, glorious weekend in Kansas City where he bought an ipod touch and I got my iphone-buyer remorse soon followed. Brett headed off to California for the end of his training, I headed off to Washington for a 'visit/doctors appointment'. Brett's deployment started to sink in and I cried tons.

November: Brett and I returned to Kansas for one final week and a half together before deploying. It turned out to be as perfect as such a week could ever be, in short it was a miracle. Brett left for Afghanistan, I pulled myself together. Papa and I drove from Kansas to Washington and then flew to Texas all in four days time, where I then let out a long sigh of relief and cried a little. Celebrated my 25 birthday with the birth of my friends Katie and Thomas's daughter Eden. I learned slowly how to deal with a Long Distance Husband. Celebrated Thanksgiving with both sets of family and went to rehearsals for the Messiah.

December: went to a wedding, a funeral and spent a lot of time with family. I rekindled old and new friendships and let a few old things pass away. Celebrated yet another holiday away from Brett,but also found that grace abounds in all situations and whether facing new marriages or the passing of a dear one- He is near.