who? what? when?

This morning when my alarm went off I was SOOOO sound asleep that it took a good five minutes for me to realize that I was, infact, a real person who needed to get herself out of bed...once I got to the bathroom I found that half my face had been transformed into this really massive red line...seriously, just HOW HARD was I pressed into my pillow to accomplish that?!

So, the end of the month is incredibly dangerous. For one thing, unless you flip your calendar early ( which is what I have to do)you dont really think about all the things for next week that you need to be working on...because, well, you can't even SEE next week...so it doesnt exist.
WRONG!!

I have a Kiwanis Club presentation next week...I also have a newsletter to put out, a website to update, a golf tournament to plan...all sorts of things I havent ever done before that I need to pretend to know what I'm doing to pull off. Meeh. But, if there was a ever a time to practice my awesome-let's-not-stress-but-instead-rely-on-God skillz, this would be the time. So that's the plan. Feel free to keep me accountable to this! :-)

Sounds of Saturday...

warning* I doubt I'll be using complete sentences here...I just woke up from my nap...*

I'm currently lying in bed listening to the rain.....
it was absolutely PERFECT sleeping weather this afternoon.

Culling out my music is hard work...but I'm in the cold-hearted-deleting-mood. ;-) itunes is a wonderful thing.

Isnt it amazing that we are always moving forward? this morning I read my blog posts from Jan-Feb of 2006. It was so strange to think of those days-how much has CHANGED! Very little is the same as it was then...odd. But, its also extremely encouraging. Old struggles gone.
New struggles to take their place.
I wonder if its possible that I was a better blogger then? has my writing gone down hill? Let's not judge it by this post, anyway?


This afternoon I spent a little time with some really cool people-my bible study girls and their friends. They were hanging out at the park-not really park weather, unfortunately, but it was fun to see them all nonetheless...

I really need to go grocery shopping...I have, like, zero food in my apartment...its rediculous because I've eatten waaaay to much fastfood as a result. next week: I'm cooking.

..Fortunes are forever...

So, I got the lamest fortune cookie ever today:
"Cookies go stale. Fortunes are forever"

No good.


But, at the same time, my day has been pretty lame. I have sore throat and my butt is sore from the whole "running thing" yesterday. *sigh* I took a nap this afternoon in the hopes of overcoming all obstacles and feeling better. Unfortunately, the nap didnt stick.

It's too bad I'm feeling so 'without creativity' ( seriously, I gave up trying to work on my website three times...and I am suppose to write a few letters too..and THAT didnt happen either. *sigh*) because TODAY, my darling readers, is my darling boyfriend's darling birthday.
I know, and usually I get SOOOOO Excited about tribute posts!
You'll just have to bare with me when I say that the fact that it's Brett's birthday and he's waaaaay on the West Coast and I'm waaaaaay in the South is waaaaaay not cool...but it does mean that emails and phonecalls have really grown in approval ratings in the Abigail's Approval Annuals in the past few months.
So, since Brett turned 24 today, let's take this time to talk about him a little bit...

Brett is really the most fantastic person ever. And I pretty much cannot BELIEVE my good fortune that he paid even the tiniest bit of attention to me. In fact, I'm having a problem writing something that doesnt sound absolutely cheesy...all of those "he makes me want to be a better person" lines from bad romantic movies keep popping into my head! hahaha!
Nevertheless, I started to get to know Brett last year around this time and I was really blown away by his coolness. I mean, here was someone who was funny and liked to read good books-but also did really lame things like play ultimate frisbee and smoke pipes ( ok, fine, neither of those things are really lame at all...). Honestly, I was fascinated and I secretly looked forward to getting his emails and eventually his letters ( the REAL kind-that's right, it was just as romantic as it souns. haha)
I mean, Brett's emails were waaaay better than watching Prison Break season one ( which, as we all know, is wonderful)
But, just so you know, I stood firm in my pursuit of trying my very hardest to NOT get a really HUGE crush on this guy. Alas, my very best efforts were not good enough to compete with Brett's relationship with God (which continues to impress me on a daily basis) and his kindness and caring towards other people and his love for C.S Lewis and Tolkien ( yeah, I know, I'm a dork.) but the POINT was I'd found ANOTHER dork...someone who made being a dork seem waaaay cooler.
So my fight against the inevitible. It was hopeless.
And thankgoodness it was, because I've never met anyone who made me laugh this much, or think differently about things quite so well, or made my stomach do that flipfloppy thing so often.
With that in mind, I wish Brett a happy 24th year of life, he's made my life so much more colorful...

Power Pills

So, I'm extremely happy with my new medicine...although I think I'm going to use it a lot less frequently than what I was on previously ( I'll tell you why in a minute)...when I went to the pharmacy to pick them up, I was pleasantly surprised that 30 pills cost a grand total of SIX DOLLARS ( yay! finally that insurance paid off!!!)
fantastic!

These new pills are STRONG. I took one teeny tiny pill and within about ten minutes I started to feel drowsy...but I had already planned to walk to the gym, so I figured the brisk walk out in the beautiful weather would SURELY wake me up.
Well, it DID...
I went to the gym, worked out for 45 minutes ( longer than I usually do!) and then I sprinted home.
That's right.
Sprinted.

I dont know WHAT happened but I started my run home and I just went faster and faster and I went farther and farther....before I knew it I was home.
Where I nearly blacked out.

So, yeah, these pills are awesome. I cant feel my legs.

I'm going to be in pain tomorrow.

sun

Its a gorgeous day outside! Honestly, I cant wait to get off work so I can sit in the sun for a while...

In other news, talked to my doctor and I now have "affordable" meds. WOO! Much better...my faith has been restored. ( kinda)

EDIT:

So, yes, the link to my father's blog have been changed so that HOPEFULLY it'll work now. ;-)

I am excited to see what he's going to do! (and hopefully he'll be adding comments soon!)

failed attempts to try

I had a Java Shake for lunch....I'm waiting for the normal sugar/caffine rush to kick in and make me feel better.

It hasnt been the greatest of days, but I ultimately dont feel like complaining about it here. And instead I'll just say that I'm SURPRISED that none of you commented on the adorable advertisment with the little girl in the back of the Volvo from yesterday's post. I mean, come on! It was soooo cute!

And speaking of girliness, I watched the movie Stepmom last night...what a drama-fest! Honestly!I am surprised I didnt cry. Last week I totally would have cried...and today. Today I would have cried. But, last night I was no-emotions Girl. Last night I was hormonally-stable Girl. Today? None of the above. Today I am don't-tempt-me-with-chocolate-because-I-WILL-take it Girl. ( How are those superhero names? Not really up to x-men quality just yet, but I'll work on it and get back with you...)

So, guess what? Father-o-mine has a blog! Isnt this exciting?! You should go check it out...of course, I didnt notice any way to comment on the blog to encourage him in his efforts ( I need to mention that to him..because EVERYBODY needs feedback!)- But, there is also his website, and I think you can email him there. ;-)

I'm getting my bangs cut again today...every time I decide to grow them out-someone says something like "oh, I wish you wouldnt" and then I cave...not necessarily because of the compliments ( although, who isnt a sucker for THOSE?) but mostly because growing out bangs is possibly one of THE most annoying things under the sun. Hair in the eyes= dreadful. SO yesterday the hair the face was becoming SO beyond annoying that I called my hair guy right then and there and he fit me in for this afternoon. Good.

Oh, so I lied...I said I wasnt going to talk about the things that made today bad but I just CANT HELP MYSELF.
Pharmaceutical companies, they are evil.
In fact, since I've sworn off of poltics and I no longer spend any energy thinking that THIS politician is evil and THAT poltician is bad...I now can center ALL of my negative thoughts towards those who TRULY deserve it... Pharmaceuticals.
Yup, how would YOU like to pay $96 for 30 pills ( which you are told to take twice a day) which equals...ooooooh $6.40 a DAY...?!?! And since we're already on the subject lets just go ahead and add that to the ( doing more math in my head) $1.50 I am paying per day for the stupid anti-baby pill ( which is, incidently what I blame this mega drama-queeness on in the first place)...and NOW I am paying...$7.90 a day to keep "pain away"...which begs the question DO I really feel any better?

Well, maybe a little better...but definitely not 8 dollars a day better.
I am 23 years old and I am taking more medicine than my grandmother. This is retarded. And no, I did not buy the $96 dollar medicine because I honestly dont have that much faith in modern medicine.
I mean, what could be IN this medicine that makes it so darn good?!

When I was little...

I sat next to Mr. and Mrs. Powell in church. Apparently ( though I do not remember this) I called Mrs. Powell by the affectionate name "Powell"....nothing more, nothing less. I distinctly remember her putting her arm around while I drew "pictures of the sermon" with broken crayons, and listening to her sing the alto part when we sang hymns....when we moved church building when I was in high school we somehow moved away from sitting next to the Powell's but Mrs. Powell was one of my greatest prayer warriors when I went away to school in New Zealand-and her prayers continue to humble me and bring me great comfort as I go through lifes little lessons.

Last night Mrs. Powell called me to tell me about an ad that she had seen on TV that reminded her of me when I was little...Now, I cant really say for sure whether or not its an accurate picture of me-but what I DO know is that this little girl is TOTALLY adorable and most likely represents tons of little kids and the ramblings of their mind, and I'm a sucker for such things! How it makes your day a little more bright.

Click on the picture of the box with the little girl with the very animated face to see the ad I'm talking about!

"How bout them Bears?"

So, we allllll know what an avid sports fan I am, so the fact that pretty much the ONLY thing that the newest superbowl lineup inspires in my mind is the quote from Planes, Trains and Automobiles I am sure says a lot.

And for those of you who are worried for me since I prematurely blogged about me POSSIBLY loosing my job, well, put your little minds to rest...looks like I'll be here watching YouTube videos for a little longer. *whew* ;-)
Honestly, I should learn my lesson and not air my silly worries on my blog-because I have wonderful readers who are inevitibly going to worry about me! Sorry, I put ya'll through so much.
But, I figure everyone is lacking DRAMA from their days... haaahahahahaha.

Seriously though, this weekend I went to two "parties"...you know needless shopping disguised as a party. Yes, that's right, I spent almost $100 on who knows what(spa items and jewelry) this weekend all because of the grand lure of friends who sell things. I have no self control! *sigh*
I am now going to promise you all, here in front of everyone, that this is IT...no more random spending of money...until...ummmm....later. *sigh*

public service

So, I thought I had better share my most recent itunes playlist. Its absolutely fantastic to sleep to, since, I made the playlist, put it on play and fell promptly to sleep waking up only to my phone ringing, realizing that it had played the entire thing without me stirring.

However, just in case you would like to be awake whilest listening to music, I can atest the fact that I love all these songs-whether while conscious or not.



1.Paperweight, Schuyler Fisk and Joshua Radin
2. Here We Go Again, Ray Charles and Norah Jones
3.One of these things first, Nick Drake
4. Tennesse Walz, Norah Jones/Joel Harrison
5. Que Sera Sera, Sly and The Family Stone
6. Hide and Seek, Imogen Heap
7. Come Away with Me, Norah Jones
8. Gravity, John Mayer
9. Love me Tender, Norah Jones/ Adam Levy
10. Daughters, John Mayer
11. Pink Moon, Nick Drake
12.Northern Sky, Nick Drake
13. Cello Song, Nick Drake

Sat.ur.day.

What I've done today:
1. QT in the morning after some funky-fied dreams last night...seriously people...If I dream about you I pray for you. ;-)

-Katie ( scifres)...I dont think she reads this blog but, I suspect that she left for the UK without saying goodbye. My subconscious is obviously guilty about this, thus my dream :-(
-Tim and Amber...ummm....yeah, this is very odd because I've never met these people ( they are brett's bro and sis-in-law). But, they HAVE been on my mind of late....so my subconscious incorporated fake versions of them for my dreams sake. good one, brain, good one.

2. I went to Wal Mart....when I pulled out onto North St. this car flies up from behind and honks at me ( ummm.sorry, dude, didnt realize you were wanting to speed...) then the car follows me to Wal Mart. Meh.

3. Shop in relative peace, although a bunch of hispanic dudes stare me down whilest on the cereal asle....meh. Boo. Is this a cultural thing?

4. Baked cake. Did laundry. Talked to Brett. ( I put all these together since I did them all pretty much at the same time, and none of them really took THAT long. )

5. Ate too much cake. Felt sick.

6. Was extremely lazy. Watched more Melrose Place ( which I'm started to be extremely bored by, but feel I must finish for the sake of closure. never say I lack follow through) hehehe.

Be still

Be still and know that I am God... Ps 46:10

So hard to do.

"Abbey's totally awesome freak out"

That was the name of an email I sent out yesterday....It was said later, by the receiver of said email that I do a good job of marketing my craziness.

Indeed.

And that is why I have a blog for heaven's sake!
That being said:
So, imagine that your bosses decide to have a meeting...and they decide to do it a IHOP, instead of at your office...and let's say that you're not invited.

Question: What's your first thought?

Answer: Well, LOGICALLY my mind immediately went to the very high possibility ( nay,PROBABILITY) that I am going to be fired.

*sigh*

My sister always said that it was a GOOD thing that we perpetually feel as though we are going to be fired, because the worst possible thing for an employer is to have employees who think that they are indispensible. So, when you use THAT kinda logic. I am a fantastic employee....one who could easily be fired this afternoon. ;-)


Since, its also possible that I WONT be fired tomorrow, lets instead talk about drugs. I had to take a mighty dose of pain-removers ( my new name for them...sounds less menacing) last night and woke up this morning as TIRED as I was when I went to sleep... Making me regret my decision to attend a "Spa Products" party this evening.
I mean, come on! Unless this "Spa Products" party somehow is able to recreate an entire weekend at a spa (which I doubt)...than I'd rather be home, on my couch, in my PJs watching Melrose Place and eating cereal. That's right. You heard me. Anti-Social Abigail is about to rear her ugly head. ( which is Ironic...sinc just yesterday I was saying it probably wasnt a good idea for me to be alone so much.)
Oh well.
Dont worry.
I'll be going to the party. *sigh* I will probably need a party to celebrate my being fired.

Company

Today I got to officially put Kristy's trip to Texas on my calendar! :-) Yaaaaay!
She's coming Thursday Feb. 15th Evening ( my late Valentine's present. hehehe.) and is staying through that Monday!! FABULOUS!! It has been...um, quick calculations...two years and two months since I've seen Kristy's loverly face in person. Wow. I know its going to be a wonderful blessing to have a TRUE face-to-face catch up with her.

And apparently, just so you know, it only takes two days of "normal life" where I have nothing really "pressing" coming up or to do, before I have a complete melt down.
Now, I'm not saying it wasnt something that needed to happen, and I'm also not saying that I still dont have some sorting out of personal stuff to be done-and so its a GOOD thing I dont have million and one things on my plate. But, you know what I realized? There is a serious side-affect of having a busy life. You can easily BECOME all the problems and responsibilites of others therefore replacing your OWN problems and responsibilites....its one of the most beautiful forms of denial that I have yet to find myself in. Boy, I really AM denial queen. Or maybe its not denial...its more of jsut a lack of being able to balance.
No good.

Anyway, so I've been thinking about the Leading of God...its important to continue on the path you are on until you actually get direction to turn to the right or the left ( Is. 30:21)...but when your current path seems to indicate that you'll be turning "right" and yet you havent actually gotten that particular "whisper"...does that mean you're to STILL continue down that road when you know that it is infact NOT a two sided road but that its DRIFTING to the right?
Yeah.
I know, that was really confusing....sorry.
I confuse myself.

And this is why I shouldnt be left alone for long periods of thinking time. ;-)

"Ah! There is a small layer of ice on my car!"

...now let's all freak out!

That's pretty much how things work in most of Texas ( at least the southern parts, where "wintery precipitation" in any form is foreign)...it makes me laugh, and midly annoyed.

I got to work this morning and the high school is in a realitive frenzy over the weather. GOOD GRIEF! It's not even that bad! Its kinda cold, there may be a little ice here or there, but let's not go buck wild over it!

Anyway, that's pretty much what the goings on have been like as of the last two days. Havent been doing particularly much at work ( read: nothing). I need some sort of a "boost" I think as far as what needs to be done. *sigh* Since i feel there is, in fact, NOT much to be done.

So, hey, here's some totally exciting news...My mother and grandmother where on the FRONT PAGE of the paper this morning!!! Hahahaha! When I saw it I burst out laughing!! I dont know when it was that I developed a sort of twisted delight in my small town life...but I really DO love what is considered FRONT PAGE NEWS around here. Although, I do give major props to the photographer for creating "atmosphere" and a look of "drama"...both things that I feel were decidedly missing from the actual event. ;-)

I am looking forward to my lunch break where I plan to go home, eat leftover pizza and watch the first season of Melrose Place. Yes, friends...I have sunk that low. And I'm not even ashamed in the least. ;-)

I was tagged again....

Well, everyone knows I love to do these things ;-) hehehe...so I was tagged by my loverly Aunt Donnave...so here it goes:

The Number Four
A)Four Jobs I have Had In My Life:
1. LIfe Guard
2.Waitress
3. Radiologist assistant
4. Alumni Coordinator

B) Four movies I would watch over and over:
1. Finding Neverland
2. French Kiss ( because I have watched it over and over)
3. Lady and the Tramp
4. Its a Wonderful Life ( every SINGLE Christmas, at least once)

C) Four places I have lived:
Dunedin, New Zealand
Nacogdoches, Texas
THAT'S IT! I'm pretty stationary so far in my life, aye? ;-)


D) Four TV shows I love to watch:
The O.C. ( although I will totally lie and say I dont watch this if asked. hahaha)
Lost ( because its so crazy and addictive)
Grey's Anatomy
Gilmore Girls ( though not so much anymore...)


E) Four places I have been on vacation:
Greece
Italy
Fiji
"The I *heart* New Zealand Road Trip" of 2004, and the "Remember me? Trip

F) My favorite foods:
I love Indian food...butter chicken...its a classic.
I'm allllll about Thai food ever since Thida visited
You can never ever go wrong with a large pepperoni pizza
I'm a fan of homemade bread in any way shape or form

G) Four places I would like to be right now:
New Zealand: specifically Auckland, Dunedin, Wellington ( I know that's cheating!)
Hong Kong
Fort Lewis, Washington
Somewhere WARM. My feet are SO CRAZY COLD RIGHT NOW



On another note: I had one of THE best lunch dates with my sister today, God is AMAZINGLY faithful...

well kids, I'm back!

So, sure, I totally froze my butt off last night, as I huddled under every blanket I owned. I hadnt been in that cold in a house since...I lived in New Zealand and visited Louise who for whatever reason lived in a flat that "didnt heat their rooms". Crazy kids. ;-)

Anyway, I called my landlord at 7am this morning and he "fixed the heater"...the thermostate wasnt making the fan connected to the heater turn on. Who cares. It wasnt working that's all that matters. I dont care why.
So, the fact that my house was getting all warm and toasty as I was heading out the door makes the fact that my office is FREEZING just that must worse.
My toes. My fingers. Numb.

Great.

But, that's not the point...the point is that no matter how nasty the day seems to be, I really DO want to tell you about my weekend.

So, here goes:
It was INTENSE.
In case you missed it, I went to a Navigator's conference in upstate New York. My main reasons for going were... Brett wanted me to go and because the best way to really understand something is to not just HEAR about it but experience it...so it was really perfect that I would get to experience ( to a degree) the two things about Brett that I have just about NO reference point to go on. The Navigator's Military Ministery and the Military ( plain and simple).

Its probably going to be hard to fully explain what I learned about those two things...because there was just so much, so instead I'll just say this. I was really impressed by the Navigator's level of commitment. commitment in pretty much ever aspect of their lives. We're talking serious discipline to their Faith and acting upon that faith. Which, I guess makes since, the military is all about discipline so that just filters into every aspect of their lives. Its just how their minds work.
But, I was totally inspired in my own walk with God, I was able to see the areas that I've become generally slack in and was very much convicted to pull those things out and actually work on them. So that's good....you dont have to be in the military to get something good out of what was said! ;-)

I also found it rather overwhelming in a lot of ways, I was suprised how intimidated I could become! It was just constant hardcoreness...in conversation with people, in the speakers, in my own mind trying to take everything in and process it....But, you know what?! Just when I was starting to think I had been silly to think I could "hang with this crowd" ( I mean, what does a girl from texas ( and, no, not fort hood) who has a BA in communications and english and who was involved in a very charismatic ministry in New Zealand where things were more about "feelings" than "facts" have to say in this kind of enviroment?!) ....I got a phonecall from Lydia on my cell phone. Yay! A familiar voice! Someone who knows me, and loves me...I cant TELL you how much better that'll make you feel when you start to listen to your own tired head and its doubts and fears.
So, that gave me the much needed perspective and boost that I needed to keep going and really enjoy my weekend. God is so faithful, isnt He?

I have some other thoughts, but I think I'll dwell upon them a bit longer before feeding them to the blogging world.

PS. As you can see comments arent happening on this post-but feel free to email me! I've missed my blogosphere while I was away! ( four days without the internet made me realize how NICE it is not to be in constant communication. )

the real world.

I know, I know, its a shame really because I had a fantastic weekend away from the internet, nay from the whole "real world"...but such things are now over and I will write about them as soon as I get over all the "ugginess" that is this evening because...

I'm home.

Wish I wasnt.

My heater is broken.
Its freezing in Nacogdoches.
I ate too much. Felt sick. Own fault.
Got bad mail from my health insurance, why are they so stupid?
My Friends. I worry too much about them.

after working for four days...

It's about time I had a holiday, right?
hehehe.

But, I AM heading out of town tomorrow....so of course I'm cleaning my house because it really needed it and what if I died or something? I would hate for all the moarners to have to clean my house on top of morning my loss.

morbid?

oh well, I'm half kidding. Besides if I seriously thought about dying I'd probably have a will or something. It would have important stuff like who gets my shoes ( the answer: whoever can fit into them.) and would someone please burn my journals.

Seriously, how did I get on this topic?! Sorry.

In other news I get to see Brett tomorrow. eeeee!

Shut that door!

So, just so you know...my heater seems to be working, kinda.
woo.


And in other news, I had two fantastic coffee dates today......probably a good thing too since I hadnt gotten to hang out with either gals in for evers because of the busy-ness that has been my life of late. *sigh*
Will be glad to get back into things with them both next week!

Have I mentioned how confused ( about life) I am at the moment? Sometimes I feel like all the arrows are pointing one way, and then the next minute its like, "weeeeellll....maybe not....have you considered THIS option?!"

So, it was nice when I read Streams in the Desert tonight and it was all about being guided by the Holy Spirit with the use of SHUT DOORS. I loved it so much...its my new slogan as I head into the unknowness of this year, "SHUT THE DOOR, HOLY SPIRIT!"...its a comforting thought since I'm so very adverst to making mistakes....and the thought that I could mess something up really doesnt make me happy ;-)

I'm already getting the vibe that 2007 is going to be more complicated than one would like...but then again, since when has life EVER been simple? Ah, last year...i think 2006 was pretty straight forward. All that letter writing...it kept me busy. All that second guessing of the letter writing...it kept me even busier.
Those were the days. ;-)

I'm being sarcastic just in case you didnt notice....I'm remembering that 2006 wasnt so easy to get through either...and it ended up rather well...so here's to 2007, shut doors and one open one!

cold feet.

My heater is broken...or at least I'm pretty sure it is, since the thermostate reads that its 62 degrees and yet its set on 70...every so often it makes this whirring noise as though it really wants to turn on but just cant get up the strength to do it.

Its COLD in my house.

Of course, it makes PERFECT sense in the world of Abigail's Bad Luck that my landlords went out of town yesterday to not return until Friday.

Probably one of the reasons I have a cold.

In other news, I'm trying to inspire myself to work on my work's website. BLAH. If only it could be as cool as it is in my head! :-(

I'm getting all excited/nervousy about my trip this weekend...
for those of you who dont know, I am heading to upstate new york on Friday to go to a...ummm...retreat? conference? ( honestly, dont know what to call it) thing with Brett. Its exciting because its a Navigators event, which is the ministry that Brett is involved in and pretty passionate about. Basically this weekend I should be able to see what "all the fuss is about"...and meet a few of the people that have really made an impact on his life the last year or so...which is, you know, slightly important in understanding who Brett is.. Which, you know, is sorta what I'm into these days. ;-) So, yes, very excited!

I'm "nervousy" because-lets be honest, who likes to go into a situation full of things one doesnt know anything about? Heck, I couldnt even tell you what this is that I'm going to!! *sigh* Let's go with calling it a retreat...because that sounds more relaxed. Oh, and let's also not forget that Abigail is still "learning her military basics" and that she will mostly likely be surrounded by all sorts of military minds...which makes her nervous.

I will probably have to give myself a peptalk about how, "there are all types of people in the world, and that everyone secretly would like, nay love to have a girly-girl who talks when she's nervous, has a runny-nose, no experience with the ways of the military and a tendency to overthink, around to make life more interesting."

Yes, I feel better already. *ahem*

Fill the Void

So, before Thanksgiving Thida came to visit...and ever since my life has been full.

And then, on January 7th I went home and back to the "real world"...and honestly, it was SHOCKING when my sister asked me what I was doing tonight and I said, "nothing"....

I cant remember the last time I said that.

In a small way its kinda nice to do laundry and make mix CDs for my friends, talk on the phone and paint my fingernails....

fuzzy.

I woke up at 6:30 this morning...probably because I'd had pretty much exactly eight hours of sleep and my body was like, "come on, already, you really need MORE?!"
or maybe ( and this is more likely) it was because my nose was totally and completely blocked and my mouth was wide open gasping for breath and the lack of oxygen to the brain sent my poor body into overtime with finally the last resort of waking me up so I'd deal with the situation.

Anyway...went back to sleep and was somehow late for work this morning. go figure.

Isnt this delightful, blog-worthy, material?!

Ok, something new: last night I worked on several mini writing projects that have been hanging over my head for weeks...I would have probably finished them ( because they were that fun), but it turns out that these two writing projects had to be done BY HAND..and so my hand got all schriveled up and unhappy and I had to stop or my words would become messy past recognition.

There I was on my couch surrounded my tissues, looking at facebook pictures when I came across a friend of a friends picture and it was then and there that I vowed to moisterize and sunscreen myself every day for the rest of my life if only to be a tiny bit that gorgeous...of course, I immediately failed this morning...since i had time for neither. No matter...I'm pretty sure it was genetics not sunscreen that made her skin so fabulous. ;-)

I need caffine pronto...today's busy.

evil.

I just spent the last hour reading haloscan forums trying to figure out a way to get my commenting feature back on my blog. blasted all...
its just no good! So, until some uber computer nerd ( said with love) figures out a way to bypass the system, I am forced to have boring comments.

I am very upset, mostly with myself for being SO RASH and getting a new template in the first place.

Should have known better....such things never turn out.


Just had beans and rice for dinner....took me back to my childhood I tell you. ;-)

I do not want to talk about it.

As you can see, I have a new layout. I really just wanted a color change, but with the evilness that IS the new Beta-Blogger....that totally didnt work out, instead I am stuck with total newness...which includes missing comments.
I mean, SURE, i could go to Blogger comments...but that would mean that blogger has won.

So, I press on and until then, you can ALWAYS just email me.

Part ways

So, I said goodbye to Sam today....leaving him in the very very capable hands of the Cleburne Crew....now that I know there is a plan to take pictures with Sam and all the "pretty texas girls"....I know that everything will turn out ok. ;-)
Of course, this did not make it any LESS sad to be leaving, knowing that Sam would be in texas for three more days....such a waste, me going back to work and all! boo.

But, back to work I go....with a very developed little cold. Yes, Sam gave me a cold as a going away gift. Sweet of him. I realized I hadnt really HAD a cold in at least a year, it probably takes some strange New York/New Zealand strand to really get me. hehe.

I am in bed now, with sprite and tissues and books. Went to Barnes and Noble last night...bought several books, one of which was recently mentioned on Brett's blog, The Martian Chronicles....so I am looking forward to reading THAT....plus I also picked up a very random book called "Unusual Suspect", which is the story of Stephen Baldwin....ummm.....yeah. The actor. I know. Random. Right? But, his story of becoming a Christian in his late thirties and then the ministry that he felt called into after that....is pretty fascinating. I am not far into the book yet, but I'll give you a play-by-play once I am finished.

Ooooo.....cold medicine taking affect.....mmmmmmm.....must try and stay awake....

zombie...

So, it took us from 9am till 9:30 pm, with the help of a LOT of junk food to watch all three extended edition Lord of the Rings...it is a testimony to their greatness that I wasnt tired of them in the LEAST even at the very end.
With that said I am totally tired! Who new sitting all day would make you so tired?!

But, I got tagged this afternoon and I NEVER ignore such things so, Christa...this is for you :-)


BASICS
Name? Abigail
Single or Taken? taken
Eye color? blue/grey/green
Height? 5'6"
What are you wearing right now? Pajama pants and a t-shirt
--------------------------------------------------
FAVORITES
Animal? cat
Drink? tall latte no foam
Month? November
Juice? Cranberry
Favorite Cartoon? Family Guy
Favorite band? DONT MAKE ME PICK!
------------------------------------------------------
HAVE YOU EVER
Given anyone a bath? yes, while babysitting
Bungee Jumped? yes
Made yourself throw-up? yes...but my gag refex is way too good...so it just made me feel even MORE sick!
Skinny dipped?No
Loved someone so much it made you cry? Yes.
Broken a bone? nope
Played truth or dare? Yes.
Been in a physical fight? ummm...I dont know what really counts, so I'm going to say no.
Come close to dying? yes. just recently I car nearly killed me...it was INSANE to see the grace of God.
Been in a hot tub? Yes
Fallen asleep in school? too many times.
Been suspended? No
Run away? No
Cried when someone died? yes
Fallen off your chair? yes, if the time Amy pulled the chair out from under me counts. ;-)
Sat by the phone all night waiting for someone to call? no, that sounds awful! :-(
Saved AIM conversation? yes
Made out with JUST a friend? no!
Used someone? Not as far as I have been aware
Been cheated on? No
---------------------------------------------------------------
WHAT IS
Beside you? the couch cushion
Last thing you ate? pizza...mmmmmm
----------------------------------------
EVER HAD
Chicken pox? Yes
Sore throat? Yes
Stitches? Yes.
Broken nose? No
----------------------------------------
DO YOU
Believe in love at first sight? No, I think people mistake LUST at first sight as love sometimes...
Long distant relationships? yes, thankgoodness
Question yourself? Yes.
Who was the last person that called you? my sister Anna
Who makes you smile the most? probably Brett
Do you like filling these out? sure, why not?
Do you wear contact lenses or glasses? I actually really love my glasses...most of the time.
Do you get along with your family? Yes, I am truly blessed.
----------------------------------------------------------------
FINAL QUESTIONS
What did you do today? Watched ALL THREE EXTENDED EDITION LORD OF THE RINGS...and thats it. ;-)
What car/truck do you wish to have? Mini cooper....red please.
Have a lava lamp? Nope
How many remote controls are in your house? two
Scary or funny movies? Funny, hands down
Chocolate or Vanilla: Chocolate
Rootbeer or Dr. Pepper: root beer
Summer or winter: summer
Silver or Gold: Silver. or White Gold.
Diamond or pearl: Diamonds
Sprite or 7up: Sprite, definitely
Coffee or tea: Coffee
Phone or in person: in person....nothing compares.
--------------------------------------------------
TODAY DID YOU
Talk to someone you like? yes
Get sick? No
Talk to an ex? I dont have an ex.
Miss someone? Yes.
---------------------------------------------------------
LAST PERSON WHO
Slept in your bed? Me
Saw/heard you cry? Emma
Made you cry? Emma...hahaha...it wasnt really HER...she was just THERE when it happened.
Hugged you? Sam when I picked him up at the airport
You said "I love you" to? Emma when I dropped her off at the airport
____________________________________________
EVER
Been in a fight with your pet? hahahaha...yes.
Been to Hawaii? no.
Been to Canada? No
Been to Mexico? no ( this is getting sad!)
Been to New York? yesssss....I want to go back.
----------------------------------------------------
RANDOM
Do you have a crush on someone right now? Yes absolutely. ;-)
What book are you reading now? Ella Minnow Pea
Want to get married? yes
Future kids names? yes, I'd definitely like my kids to have names....thanks for asking.
Do you sleep with a stuffed animal? No
What's under your bed? dust
Favorite sports to watch? ice hockey...although I rarely have the chance to watch it.
Favorite Location? In the WORLD? Are you kidding?! I cant pick just ONE!
Tattoos or piercings? Ears
What are you most scared of right now? asking off work for next friday!
Who do you really hate? Denathor
Do you have a job? yes, I am a grown up. ;-)
Are you lonely right now? no, far from it...
Song that's stuck in your head right now? Move Along, All American Rejects....its been in my head for a WEEK.
Have you ever played strip poker? No.
Have you ever been on radio/TV. yes, both...famous, I know...
Have you ever been in a mosh-pit? yes, I thought I was going to pass out.
Ever liked someone, but thought they never noticed you? Yes.
Your Favorite Food? pizza
Ever get so drunk you don't remember? not that i remember
Are you too shy to ask someone out? No, but that is not a girls job!
HardHugs or Kisses? that hard hug thing sounds violent
Dogs or cats? cat
Favorite Flower? i like most flowers
Have you ever fired a gun? yes
How many pillows do you sleep with? four...I like to feel surrounded, its comforting
Do you think any of your ex's miss you? I dont have one

No Excuse.

There is no excuse not to give it my all, live my very best, pray harder, read more of the Word....in fact, once I realized it, all of my excuses were silly and didnt hold a drop of water. And yet they had kept me "busy" for days upon days.
Dry and Parched is the only way to discribe how I have become.

This year I picked up an old friend to re-read for 2007. "Streams in the Desert Devotional" helped me through 2003 and 2004 ( its written on the inside cover)...and I am delighted to be reading it again.

In "pastures green"? Not always; sometimes He
Who knowest best, in kindness leadeth me
In weary ways, where heavy shadows be.
So, whether on the hill tops high and fair
I dwell, or in the sunless valleys, where
The shadows lie, what matter? He is there.

In "reading" ( actually listened to in the car) The Silver Chair recently I was struck by the beautiful picture of Jill standing by the waters edge, dying of thirst and yet "scared" to drink because of the Giant Lion standing in her path...He keeps offering her to come and drink and yet her own silliness keeps her from the water of Life..until finally His call gets through....how true, how true-and not just in Fiction!

~~

In other news, the grand plan that first came into being back in 2003.... is finally going into action tomorrow! Sam and I will finally watch ALL THREE Extended Edition Lord of the Rings movies back to back ( all 11 hours and 23 minutes)....yes, others will be coming and going...but only the truly HARD CORE will make it through! Wish us luck! :-)

Go ahead...ask me.

20 Questions about the Year 2006
1) Where were you when 2006 began?
I was in some barn outside of Nacogdoches with a whole bunch of random people most of which I barely knew…but it was fun and it turned out to be sort of important since said event led ( much much later) to my relationship with Brett.

2) What was your least favorite moment of the year?
It wasn’t one particular moment, but a whole BUNCH of moments…I was sick for a good portion of the year.


3) What was your favorite moment of the year?
When Thida saw me for the first time after two years and yelled out that I was “half of myself”…which was really inappropriate and therefore extremely funny.


4) What did you do on your birthday, and how old were
you?
I went to Houston with Thida and Anna for shopping and an Imogene Heap concert…it was fabulous and I turned 23 which was less fabulous ( I don’t like odd numbers).

5) Where you in a relationship in 2006?
Indeed. Very exciting.


6) Did you breakup with anyone in 2006?
No.


7) Did you make any new friends in 2006?
Absolutely, I think my favorite new friend is Briana, who joined our Bible Study this year…she’s hilarious and great to hang out with.


9) What date from 2006 will remain etched upon your
memory, and why?
September 20th. I made special note of the date, because I am a girl and that’s what girls do.


9) Did you travel outside of the US in 2006?
Yes, I went to New Zealand…and it was glorious


10) What was the best book you read?
Blue Like Jazz was probably one of the most fun and yet thought provoking books that I read this year

11) Did you miss anybody in the past year?
It seems to be my lot in life that so many of those I care about are far away.

12) What was your favorite movie that you saw in 2006?
mmm…didn’t see many movies in 2006, or at least not many memorable. Pride and Prejudice, Scanner Darkly, The Prestige

13) What was your favorite song from 2006?
Hide and Seek, Imogene Heap ( probably why I was so happy to go to her concert.)

14) Who were you most thankful for in 2006?
All of the people God has placed in my life “for a time as this”…but maybe Carmi has been of the most emotional help to me this year-she’s always been on instant messenger at all the moments that I seriously thought I was going insane. ( she told me that I wasn’t).

15) What did you do in 2006 that you'd never done
before?
I had surgery. With the tube down my throat and everything. Kinda scary.

16) What was your proudest moment of 2006?
I overcame a great deal of personal doubt and fear to do a good job in my first real “professional job”.

17) What was your most embarrassing moment of 2006?
Oh, there are sooo many moments, but maybe when I broke down and cried in the doctors office in front of a waiting room full of people.

18) What valuable life lesson did you learned in 2006?
The Lord is ever faithful and His mercy abounds.

19) What are your plans for 2007?
2006 was one of those years that didn’t really have many OUTSTANDING kind of days, but it was filled with a lot of growth in a personal kind of way…I am able to see how God truly helped me through some of my toughest personal battles and for that I am excited to see what He will do this coming year. My plan is to search out those secret places and bring them into the light. Scary…but exciting.

20) What were you doing when 2006 ended?
I was sitting on my sister’s couch talking about Titanic with some delightful friends. It was not a particularly profound moment, but fun nonetheless.

rain

Emma and I just got home from Cleburne ( via Dallas) ...as we were turning into my drive I thought...whooooa its been sooo long since I've been home!!

Really its been just a little over a day.

Yesterday was kind of long, though....had to leave Brett at the airport which is just about the most awful thing one can do. I mean, seriously, it was just NO FUN.

It was raining cats and dogs, which had delayed Brett's flight an hour, and after leaving him at the gate Emma and I got in the car....and we cried. Both of us. hehehe....it was all very girlie....but honestly, I'm glad I've got a friend like her that I can cry with and then eat comfort Cracker Barrel food with. THAT is friendship.

I'm tired and I'm wondering if I'm ever going to catch up on rest....I actually think I'm PAST tired....

:-)

Happy.
I have the best friends in all the world.
Emma has only been here for a couple of hours now, most of which we spent sleeping, but honestly...just HAVING her here makes me feel BETTER about life in general.

hello? Anyone home?

Ok, I admit the blogging has been sufficiently less the last week or so, for me anyway, but its not like I've stopped all together, I've taken the TIME and the ENERGY to think up things to say ( however trite they might sound)......but I dont think anyone's reading-so I'll take this time to talk to myself.

A strange turn of events in the last week or so is that I've done precious little journaling...mostly because its extremely late at night before I have even had a moment...so I find that I'm actually TOO TIRED to pick up a pen ( yes, this is a new leve of tireness...I'm lazy, lets not dwell on this)....anyway, I instead have laid in the dark and had thoughts roll around and around in my head...and then usually I've fallen asleep and found that early in the morning the thought will pick up right where it left off and wake me up so that'll give it attention once more.
Its not restful.

And this is why I like journals, people. The words STICK to the page and dont wake me up in the morning!

I just filled out my 2007 calendar-putting everyone's birthdays on the right date...I like to put the person's age too because I'm not good with numbers. Anyway, its shocking how grown-up my friends are becoming.... everyone is turning crazy-adult ages like "25...and 26....and 27....and 29...whooooooa"
In fact, I too am supposedly a grown-up. And that's just scary.
Grown-ups make BIG decisions...and they're like "yeah, that's right...I just made a big decision, what you going to do about it?" with this amazing level of confidence.

Or at least that's what I always thought.

Now, I'm starting to realize most grown-ups are probably more like I am...you know, making decisions and at the same time praying to God that its going to work out.

Yet, at the same time...I'm surprised at how confident I actually am about certain things. Every so often I'll be doing some really mudane task like waiting for water to boil for coffee or something, and its like I give myself this pinch as though to try and wake up from this life....but its real. I dont think I'm going to wake up....

Umm...

Can you tell that I havent been writing in my journal?! This post is all over the place.

Picking Emma up from the airport in just a few hours! YAAAAAAY! I am sooo excited. Not just excited that I get to see her, but I always get this strong feeling when I have visitors-the sense of importance of the time we have together...that its not an accident, not a chance meeting....its PLANNED. Planned by God...and anything planned by God is very exciting, indeed.

random events of the past...while

Post Christmas day I'm taking a moment to think about truly what a wonderful holiday it was this year! I feel truly truly blessed. So, here are my highlights in no particular order...just the order that I think of them as I lay here, trying to get out of bed...

My favorite 'Christmas party' is the one my family has with Steve and Billie ( aka. the second parents)...its pretty much tradition that we just eat Christmas treats and open little presents...but its all very low key and I always ALWAYS laugh a lot! This year was no different and we even had carolers show up at our door at one point ( thanks Yerkes!) which just added to the Christmas cheer!

In the past few days I've played countless games with Brett's family. My personal favorite was Disney Scene it! ( which I got for my Birthday! wooo!), and the best part was that Brett and Josh were freakishly good and could pick a scene from Cinderella in seconds flat. hehehe...so cute.

This year, and I'm not really sure why exactly, but I feel like I've gotten to spend a little bit more quality time with my parents than in the past few years. This made me extremely happy, since my parents are also some of my best friends. Eating on Christmas morning, watching The Christmas story, and hearing Papa laugh and laugh, Anna speaking in third person when she really needed to make a point, sitting by the fire until your clothes started to melt off, watching White Christmas with PawPaw....it was truly wonderful and I treasured every moment.

Last night, we went over to the Hibbard's house to say goodbye to Nancy, who's headed back to Mexico today....I realized as I was there, that in the past....ummmm.....seven years there hasnt been a Christmas that I havent spent at least a little time in the Hibbard house. Only by sheer coincidence did I make it there this year, but I'm glad I did...I dont like messing with tradition. ;-)

And, to be totally honest, I've spent every POSSIBLE moment that I POSSIBLY could with Brett...who seems to have only been here a DAY and is going to leave again on FRIDAY. *sigh* time really does fly when you're having fun. And I suppose its a really good thing that Emma will be here after Brett leaves so I wont have time to feel really good and sorry for myself.

Merry Christmas!

" For my eyes have seen your salvation,
which you have prepared in the sight of all people,
a light for revelation to the Gentiles
and for glory to your people Israel." ~Luke 2

I honestly wish I could sing the following verses to you as they are in the Messiah...because, I think such words should almost be shouted or sung or SOMETHING. They're that wonderful!

But, here they are, my very favorite favorite Christmas verses...

For to us a child is born,
to us a son is given,
and the government will be on his shoulders.
And he will be called
Wonderful Counselor, [b] Mighty God,
Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace. ~Is 9:6

I wish you all a blessed Christmas, and may each of you know the personal part of the "us" in this verse....for truly He has come-and for each one of us!

the truth....

So, yes, I know that I should say something profound tonight...you know, more about why Christmas is truly wonderful. The simple truth of the matter is that the Lord fulfilled His promises. For from the beginning, the people of God had been looking for the fulfillment of His promise, the promise of a Saviour. And then one day, and you know what, I bet it seemed like any other day... His son was born into the world....and His promise was fulfilled just like that.

It seems kinda simple really. Simple to the point of radiculous....I mean, its almost like God went OUT of His WAY for Jesus to have a truly humble beginning...I mean, a stable? Seriously? But, it isnt radiculous. Its beautiful. Its beautiful because God need not make a big to-do...He does not need to puff up and have a few parades so that everyone knows how important He is....nope. In fact, His son was a Nazarene. He was probably your everyday jewish guy, probably not much to look at....and for that matter, he wasnt particularly successful or rich either.
Yes, it seems that God didnt care about social status...or being politically correct....or being liked....or cool.
I am saying this because from looking at the Church today it is often very much concerned with all these things....and you'd think it was important or something.
And yes, I am going off on a tangent. But, the night that Jesus was born the only ones that got the memo were a few shepherds...and all the heavenly hosts ( I bet there was no keeping the secret there).
Its beautiful, really, because it reminds me that God does things completely and totally different from how we humans would do it. Understanding His ways are impossible...for we do not have the mind of God. So, what can I know? I can know that there came a day where a little virgin girl named Mary had a baby, and she named Him Jesus, and later He died for my sins.
Its that simple.
Its that Glorious.

my favorite.

This is my favorite advent hymn...read the words, they're fabulous.


Come, Thou long expected Jesus, Born to set Thy people free;
From our fears and sins release us: Let us find our rest in Thee.
Israel's Strength and Consolation, Hope of all the earth Thou art;
Dear Desire of every nation, Joy of every longing heart.

Born, Thy people to deliver, Born a child and yet a King;
Born to reign in us forever; Now Thy gracious Kingdom bring.
By Thine own eternal Spirit, Rule in all our hearts alone
By Thine all sufficient merit, Raise us to Thy glorious throne.

I just posted this whole post on Brett's blog before I realized I was signed in his account.

So, this afternoon, I was feeling a tad on the overwhelmed side....I think I have this weird combo of my parents two personalities...I live in happy optimistic denial for a long while and then once life builds up I then switch into hard core stress mode.
meh.

Anyway, long story short...I was hating it. I was hating the fact that there are fewer and fewer days until Christmas-one of the two most wonderful holiday celebrations of the whole year! And here I am stressing....So, I came home, washed dishes listened to some praise music and then once my kitchen was relatively presentable I sat down with a Christmas cookie and my Bible... and let me tell you it was like a breath of fresh air.

So, this week I've been trying to bring a little of the meaning of Christmas into each day...but what I could honestly do and be totally happy myself is to just type out Is. 9:6 every day and just leave it at that...because it honestly gives me goosebumps every single time.

But, I'm saving that...hehehe.
Nope, today I was struck by the opening verses of that chapter particularly the second...

The people walking in darkness
have seen a great light;
on those living in the land of the shadow of death
a light has dawned.

It reminded me of the Christmas Story that I had read outloud ( sometimes its good to read out loud even if no one is around to listen) to myself earlier in the week from "Corrie's Christmas Memories" ( as you know, its my favorite favorite favorite Christmas book of all time), I got to the Shepherd's account of the events that happened to them in the fields:

Yes, it was as if God had opened a little corner of the veil that we could see and hear a little bit of heaven. But then...they were gone, and it was dark," the boy went on, "so dark...darker than it ever was before. After that heavenly light the earth was so dark-so terribly dark."

I loved that. And wouldnt that be true? Just imagine you've looked straight into a bright light and then its gone...
It made me think what a glorious gift we were given through the Lord Jesus. We were given the Light.
Not, just in tiny little pieces as had been the way up until then...through the prophets and the law, the light would shine with promises for a brief and glorious moment and then it would be gone...

But, then the Light came.

And we have the priviledge to look back and see Isaiah's prophecy fulfilled....we know that that Light came to bring light to the darkness. I am able to sit in my kitchen and meet with Him even now. Because not only did He come. He died. And not only did He die, but He lives. And His light shines on permenently...

So, sure, I just went on a little tangent just now, but can you blame me?

por favor

okie dokie...so as you know I've been putting off and putting off publishing the NHSAA website, because, ummm...the internet is scary and once its there, potentially ANYONE could see it...and thus see my lame errors and pitiful pitiful design ( see? I'm already crying)...and whoa. that would just be bad ;-)

Sooooo....I'm going to give you, my lovely readers the link to my site ( which currently only has an IP address so that its hard to find) and if you have a chance I'd like you to give me the worst of it...there are a few pages that I'd like to totally disregard because I'm still majorly working on them...
The New Membership Form
Brick Plaza
Golf Tourn.

The rest, feel free to bash me until I run away crying (oh, wait..already doing that)..because it would much much better to get constructive criticism from you than from...well, anyone else.

Thanks..

Edit
From the feedback I've already gotten and from looking at the site on various computers myself, it seems that the format, layout, and fonts change with each computer....*sigh* who knows how I will fix this...but keep those comments coming! You guys are very helpful ;-)

learning.

I am not really sure why I cant seem to learn my lesson. But why do I put off the things that stress me out the most, thus creating the inevitable "prolonged stress"?! whhhhy

Meh.

Honestly, I'm not to quick.

Christmas-y truth

So, I watched this on recommendation from Elaine.. and she was right it's kinda cheesy but I was really blessed by the points it made at the end.

sorry its hard to watch for for those of you with dialup connection. :-)

Not what I Deserve

Nancy Drew has nothing on my observation skillz

So, last night, I'd been home for several hours when I went into my bathroom to brush my teeth...and the following events took place ( mostly in my head).

*glance over at the toliet paper*

"Whoa. I'm out of toliet paper. How could did that happen? I really dont remember using up all the tp..."

*Thoughts run wild that possiblities of how this happened*

"-I am sure no one broke into my apartment to use up all the toliet paper, silly."

"Wait! There is red dirt all over my white bathmat! Now, I know that I didnt track in red dirt on my three inch heels there is just no way..."

*I carry bathmat to the laundry room and pull out a new bathmat from the closet*

"Seriously, someone BROKE into my house, used up my toliet paper AND they didnt wipe there feet!! This is insane!"

*I put down the new bathmat and glance upwards..*

"WHOA! I have a new toliet!!!"

...

And yes, it was at this point that all the pieces came together...except for how all the toliet paper got used up-except to say that mystery plummer decided to TRY OUT the new toliet...which, honestly, that's just odd and wrong on so many levels.

The good news is that I have a shiny new toliet...and now all my friends and family can relieve themselves at my house with out great trepidation. Wonderful.

And may this story be lesson to everyone, leave you bathroom without anything embarrassing lying around because you NEVER KNOW when a rouge plummer might break in and switch out your toliet. I was lucky this time around...because let's be honest, the odds that I'll just leave my PJs on the floor where they fall is very VERY probable....I guess luck was just in my favor yesterday.

Oh Christmas...

So, there is no quicker way to loose just about all your Christmas Spirit than to try to do fast Christmas shopping in three inch heels. Not. A. Good. Idea.

But, the truth about next Monday is all in the Birth of a little baby...

THE NATIVITY.

Written in the year 1656.

by Henry Vaughan


PEACE ? and to all the world ? Sure One,
And He the Prince of Peace, hath none !
He travels to be born, and then
Is born to travel more again.
Poor Galilee ! thou canst not be
The place for His Nativity.
His restless mother's call'd away,
And not deliver'd till she pay.

A tax ? 'tis so still ! we can see
The Church thrive in her misery,
And, like her Head at Beth'lem, rise,
When she, oppress'd with troubles, lies.
Rise ?—should all fall, we cannot be
In more extremities than He.
Great Type of passions ! Come what will,
Thy grief exceeds all copies still.
Thou cam'st from Heaven to Earth, that we
Might go from Earth to Heav'n with Thee :
And though Thou found'st no welcome here,
Thou didst provide us mansions there.
A stable was Thy Court, and when
Men turn'd to beasts, beasts would be men :
They were Thy courtiers ; others none ;
And their poor manger was Thy throne.
No swaddling silks Thy limbs did fold,
Though Thou couldst turn Thy rays to gold.
No rockers waited on Thy birth,
No cradles stirr'd, nor songs of mirth ;
But her chaste lap and sacred breast,
Which lodg'd Thee first, did give Thee rest.

But stay : what light is that doth stream
And drop here in a gilded beam ?
It is Thy star runs page, and brings
Thy tributary Eastern kings.
Lord ! grant some light to us, that we
May with them find the way to Thee !
Behold what mists eclipse the day !
How dark it is ! Shed down one ray,
To guide us out of this sad night,
And say once more, “Let there be light.

Welcome back to Work

Well, so far work hasnt been bad at all this morning, of course, I still havent written my weekly articl for the newspaper yet, but I've got an "idea" of what I will say...and that's pretty much all I need to ramble on for 500 or so words.
Shoot, I do that on my blog more than twice a day ;-)

Anyway, this weekend I did sooo much resting. It was good and probably just what I needed since here until eternity ( or so it seems) is incredibly busy!! We're talking insanely so!!

In fact, of my two week vacation ( mmmmmwwwwwahahahaha! I'm sooo lucky!) I have a friends from afar for ever single day of it!! Incredible. I'm getting excited about all the goodness-but I'm finding Christmas holidays are becoming so very strange. Its like there is no more tradition. There's just newness. Not that newness is BAD, because its NOT. I'm just saying this holiday season is surprising. For instance, if you'd told me LAST year that I'd have Emma and Sam swapping off Texas Duty ( Literally, Emma leaves the day Sam arrives...I dont think they like each other! hehe) I would have been shocked. Come to think of it, I would have also been shocked ( and incredulous) if you'd told me that I'd be soooo excited about Brett coming into town on Wednesday ( YAY!!). I would have been like, "Whatever, he's just that dude I went to high school with who had the cool hair and the sexy voice who ignored me most of the time, big deal."
Well, no, I'd probably have been a little bit more happy than that-afterall, he WAS awfully cool even with the ignoring thing going on ( and I think he was just overwhelmed by my coolness, dont you think?)...
So, yes, a few months ago I wouldnt have known how nice my holidays were going to look...but here they are staring me in the face. But, you know what, I was thinking...last year I felt kinda lonely and sad-for whatever reason-and yet it let me focus on the Meaning of this Christmas Holiday.
And this year, well, I'm waaay more busy and I just pray that I do not loose that...that all the craziness doesnt leave me lacking in mediation. lacking in thankfulness for what "its all about" ( sounds trite, but its true..).

Today I'm starting my Meaning of Christmas Posts...man, wish I could come up with a better name...anyway,maybe I'll come up with something better by this evening... coming soon the count down to Christmas.

a life? apparently not.

I just got this off of Briana's blog...


If you've seen over 110 movies, you have no life. Mark the ones you've seen. There are 240 movies on this list. Put your score in header and re-post.

() Rocky Horror Picture Show
(X) Grease
(x) Pirates of the Caribbean
() Boondock Saints
(X) Fight Club
(X) Starsky and Hutch
(x) Neverending Story (Heheh, 80s!)
() Blazing Saddles
(X) Airplane
Total so far: 6

(x) The Princess Bride
(X) Anchorman
(x) Napoleon Dynamite
() Labyrinth (80s again!)
() Saw II
() White Noise
(X) White Oleander
() Anger Management
(X) 50 First Dates
(x) The Princess Diaries
(x) The Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement
Total so far: 13

(X) Scream
(X) Scream 2
(X) Scream 3
(X) Scary Movie
() Scary Movie 2
() Scary Movie 3
() Scary Movie 4
() American Pie
() American Pie 2
() American Wedding
() American Pie Band Camp
Total so far: 17

(x) Harry Potter 1
(x) Harry Potter 2
(x) Harry Potter 3
(X) Harry Potter 4
( ) Resident Evil 1
( ) Resident Evil 2
(X) The Wedding Singer
(X) Little Black Book
(x) The Village
(x) Lilo & Stitch
Total so far: 25

(x) Finding Nemo
(X) Finding Neverland
(x) Signs
() The Grinch
() Texas Chainsaw Massacre
() White Chicks
() Butterfly Effect
(X) 13 Going on 30
(X) I, Robot
() Robots
Total so far: 30

(X) Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story
( ) Universal Soldier
() Lemony Snicket: A Series Of Unfortunate Events
(X) Along Came Polly
(x) Deep Impact
() KingPin
(X) Never Been Kissed
(x) Meet The Parents
() Meet the Fockers
() Eight Crazy Nights
() Joe Dirt
(x) KING KONG
Total so far: 36

(X) A Cinderella Story
(x) The Terminal
(X) The Lizzie McGuire Movie
() Passport to Paris
(X) Dumb & Dumber
() Dumber & Dumberer
() Final Destination
() Final Destination 2
() Final Destination 3
() Halloween
() The Ring
()The Ring 2
( ) Surviving Christmas
() Flubber
Total so far: 40

() Harold & Kumar Go To White Castle
(X) Practical Magic
(X) Chicago
( ) Ghost Ship
() From Hell
() Hellboy
(x) The Secret Window
(X) I Am Sam
(X) The Whole Nine Yards
(X) The Whole Ten Yards
Total so far: 46

() The Day After Tomorrow
() Child's Play
() Seed of Chucky
() Bride of Chucky
(X) Ten Things I Hate About You
() Just Married
() Gothika
() Nightmare on Elm Street
(X) Sixteen Candles
(x) Remember the Titans
() Coach Carter
() The Grudge
(X) The Mask
() Son Of The Mask
Total so far: 50

() Bad Boys 2
() Joy Ride
(X) Lucky Number Sleven
(X) Ocean's Eleven
(X) Ocean's Twelve ( oceans 13 is coming out! Branden and I got to see the set in LA)
(x) Bourne Identity
() Lone Star
() Bedazzled
() Predator
() Predator II
() The Fog
(x) Ice Age
(x) Ice Age 2: The Meltdown
() Curious George
Total: 56

(X) Independence Day
() Cujo
() A Bronx Tale
() Darkness Falls
() Christine
(x) ET
() Children of the Corn
() My Boss' Daughter
(X) Maid in Manhattan
() Frailty
() War of the Worlds
(X) Rush Hour
(X) Rush Hour 2
Total so far: 61

() Best Bet
(X) She's All That
(X) Calendar Girls
(X) Sideways
() Mars Attacks
( ) Event Horizon
(x) Ever After
(x) Wizard of Oz
(X) Forrest Gump
() Big Trouble in Little China
(x) The Terminator
(x) The Terminator 2
(x) The Terminator 3
Total so far: 70

(x) X-Men
(x) X2
(x) X-3
(x) Spider-Man
(x) Spider-Man 2
() Sky High
() Jeepers Creepers
() Jeepers Creepers 2
(X) Catch Me If You Can
(x) The Little Mermaid
(x) Freaky Friday
() Reign of Fire
(X) Equilibrium
(X) The Skulls
(X) Cruel Intentions
() Cruel Intentions 2
() The Hot Chick
(x) Shrek
(x) Shrek 2
Total so far: 83

() Swimfan
(x) Miracle on 34th street
(x) Old School
(x) The Notebook
(x) K-Pax
() Krippendorf's Tribe
(x) A Walk to Remember
() Ice Castles
() Boogeyman
() The 40-year-old-virgin
Total so far: 88

(x) Lord of the Rings Fellowship of the Ring
(x) Lord of the Rings The Two Towers
(x) Lord of the Rings Return Of the King
(x) Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark
(x) Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom
(x) Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade ( talk about awesome movies!)
Total so far: 94

() Baseketball
() Hostel
( x) Waiting for Guffman
() House of 1000 Corpses
() Devils Rejects
(x) Elf
() Highlander
() Mothman Prophecies
(x) American History X
(x) Three Amigos
Total so far: 98

() The Jacket
() Kung Fu Hustle
() Shaolin Soccer
() Night Watch
() Monster
(x) Titanic
(x) Monty Python and the Holy Grail
() Dawn Of the Dead
() Willard
Total so far: 100

() High Tension
() Club Dread
(x) Hulk
(x) Hook ( another great classic)
(x) Chronicle Of Narnia The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe
() 28 days later
() Waterworld
Total so far: 103

(x) Kill Bill vol 1
() Kill Bill vol 2
() Mortal Kombat
() Mortal Kombat: Annihilation
() Wolf Creek
(x) Kingdom of Heaven
() The Hills Have Eyes
() I Spit on Your Grave aka the Day of the Woman
() The Last House on the Left
() Re-Animator
() Army of Darkness
Total so far: 104

(x) Star Wars Ep. I The Phantom Menace
(x) Star Wars Ep. II Attack of the Clones
(x) Star Wars Ep. III Revenge of the Sith
(x) Star Wars Ep. IV A New Hope
(x) Star Wars Ep. V The Empire Strikes Back
(x) Star Wars Ep. VI Return of the Jedi
() Ewoks Caravan Of Courage
() Ewoks The Battle For Endor
Total so far: 110

(x) The Matrix
(x) The Matrix Reloaded
(x) The Matrix Revolutions
() Animatrix
() Evil Dead
() Evil Dead 2
() Team America World Police
(x) Red Dragon
(x) Silence of the Lambs
(x) Hannibal

Total movies seen: 116

I would like to thank living in small town during high school...and then I'd like to thank my dorm in NZ for having satalite TV with movie channels for making my title of "one with no life" possible...some of the movies here it is reeeeally embarrassing to admit to seeing. *sigh*
Let's all go read a book.

you kids...

obviously cant handle the very long, very wordy posts....tisktisk.

So here's my day. short.

awoke. laid in bed. ate bread. took bath ( standing is too hard to do for long periods of time).
laid in bed. put on dress. wished that all pants were PJs then I wouldnt have to wear the dress. laid in bed.
got mail for work. sat in car to rest from walking to mail box from car. walked to school office to get key back. walked to my office. sat at desk for long period of time resting from long walk. made phonecalls. watched The O.C. wrote lists for next week.
Went home laid in bed to rest from "hard work". put PJ pants on under dress. laid in bed. ate leftover noodles. laid in bed. watching Devil Wears Prada whilest lying in bed.

darn, better yet...

So, I blame the vicodin...but I was waaaay more savvy with my words last year....so you can go back and read that if you want. Of course, it was about that year...not this year....and this year was even better than last year...so...ummm....nevermind.

too much is too much.

I'm hooooome!!! And while I'm sooo happy to be here with all "my things". I can see why it was a good idea for me to not push this homecoming too quickly! Its sooo much harder to stay still and in bed when I have all sorts of things I could do.

Also, the bathroom is waaaay far away now. *sigh* oh how awful it is to live in such a giant apartment ;-)

In other news, Esther and Christa were FABULOUSLY sweet today and in the midst of all that they had to do today ( take their last two finals!!!) they made me lunch! Honestly, I've got the greatest friends in all the world.

Aunt Donnave has gone home after taking care of me for days. She was truly a wonderful blessing to have as a nurse...and I still every so secretly want to be "just like her when I grow up"...

Now, I am lying quite still in the hopes that I'll feel up to going to Katie's house for a "relaxed dinner" this evening...I know, I know, I probably shouldnt push it...but I want to see Nancy-Cotton! ( not her real name) she's come all the way from Monterrey Mexico and she's been here since monday and I still havent seen her :-(
So, yes, lying quite still....

And I just talked to Louise...and she's MOST PROBABLY coming to visit in February 2008 ( never hurts to plan ahead)....and THAT'S Wonderful news...along with the prospects of Kristy coming to visit THIS february for a few days...I feel like my cup truly runneth over!

Maybe its the drugs, but dont I have wonderful wonderful friends?!

I mean, by march of this year I will have had visits from FIVE friends from around the globe. I was talking to Donnave about how very small the world has gotten and how really wonderful that is......I remember how very frightened I was when I first moved back to Nacogdoches ( aka. small town middle of no where) that I would some how "miss out" on all the excitment that the world-travelling bite had left me hungry for....but now, Two Years Later ( yes, two years ago yesterday I cried and cried and cried as I got on that plane in Christchurch New Zealand-pleading with God that He would somehow change His mind and not make me "get lost back in Texas")

But, God abounds in grace...and the past two years I wouldnt trade for ANYTHING....

I had to adjust to the grand USA living again-which is actually more different than one might think.
I came home to family drama that is usually only reserved for Lifetime Movies that you laugh at and say "things like that dont reeeeally happen"!
I was shown the Grace of God over and over again when I reached the "Limit" that I set for myself, thinking that I ABSOLUTELY could NOT go any further than that in faith...when I got to that point, there was just a little bit more to be had.
I dealt with homesickness for New Zealand well up until the middle of this past year...and then one day, God just TOLD ME that I couldnt go back in time and live that life again...and I realized in that moment, that I was ok with that.
And I was.
And a month later God graciously gave me a trip "home" to New Zealand through my generous parents.
So, I went back this time only for a visit, but it was just the way I would have it...and I realized all over again why I loved my friends so much. In fact, I realized they were EVEN better than I had remembered.
Which kind of leaves a little feeling of twinginess when you realize that you dont get to have these wonderful people "close by"...and that always kind of hurts.
But, then again, I have been given the most wonderful friendships back in Texas. I absolutely LOVE the friends that God has brought into my life in the past two years...so many of them, people that I have "known forever"...but who I have re-met...and re-loved all over again in a much more delightful way.
This year God has given me a new job that lets me be far more creative and stretch myself to the point of stress...which brings up all sorts of new lessons about God...leaning on Him for ALL THINGS.
This year has brought a Bible Study of the most wonderful girl friends that I could have asked for...these girls have continued to teach me of struggle and victory and love and laughter..and I absolutely LOVE Mondays because of them.
This year has brought yet another new place to live...and this time all alone. But, its been fun...and perfect for all the things that life has brought for this period of time.
This year has brought visitors......which teaches all sorts of things about "being loose with plans" and even looser with ones personal time and weird ways of doing things...its all about being humble and realizing How far I still have to go to reach my dreams...and yet...along the way I've got GRAND friends to help me get there.
This year has brought pain. A pain that until a few short months ago I didnt really know what it was. And it was very very trying and I found that in moments of pain there is really just you. You and God. That's it. And that's ALL that is really needed.
This year has brought Brett...and while you might argue that he's only been a real part of my life for just a few months...well, you'd totally lose the argument because he's been around since early February at the latest...and he just WOULDNT GO AWAY. Thank goodness...and what lessons it has brought! I have learned more about myself and about the greatness of God from our relationship-through its many little stages- than I could have ever imagined one could.
This year has brought a greater love for my family who are really just my friends who also share the same strange genes...

Now, I'll share a little secret with you ( isnt this fun? when was the last time I had such a long blog post!!?)...when I was finishing up my last semester in New Zealand and I knew that God wanted me to come back to Texas I put a handy-dandy little time frame on that move. I decided that I would stay in Texas until March 2008...and that seemed really really REALLY far off. But, now its just around the corner. And I'm happy to say that I'm going to let my timelimit pass me by...without making a NEW time frame to go on. Its a lot LOT harder to not have set amounts of time to look forward to, and count down to (especially for someone who gets as stir crazy staying in one place as I do), but I honestly feel that if ANYTHING that last two years have taught me that the Plans that the Lord has for us are far far more imaginative and wonderful and hard and stretching and colorful and surprising and heartwrenching and fantastic than I could ever EVER conceve. Which leaves me here...on the brink of another grand year Post-New Zealand....and I am happy. Happy to leave it. Leave it where it has been this whole time.
In Thy Hands, O Lord, I leave it.

I cant.

I'm not going to blog right now because it would come out all wrong. But let me just say THIS about THAT.
I dont like recovery nearly as much as I thought I would.

update...

So, I walked around the kitchen and then I went outside and took in the fresh air....I got myself some peppermint icecream. GOOD JOB, huh?!

Seriously, I am going to be better in NO TIME. Yay!

I should also be mentioned that I have a really sweet boyfriend who has worried about me tons...way more than is deserving.
My Aunt Donnve just called to say she's "almost here"
My landlord called to make sure I was ok because my car hadnt moved in two days ( this is semi-comforting since i DO live alone, and I guess it is good that you have people to go through your trash and make sure you arent dead.)

ANNNNNND.....

Peppermint Icecream is waaaay good.

DISHES! DISHES!!

So, I am currently holed up at my parents house, being waited on hand and foot. In fact, Aunty D is coming this afternoon to care for me further. Awwww....I feel so high maintance! Yet, at the same time...I I pretty much need people to bring me water and food and to change out the DVDs....so there.

Now for too much information! Ya'll ready?! woo.
So, my surgery went well, in that they did find a lot of endometrosis all over my ovaries and verious other places in my reproductive system ( ask to see the picture sometime, its amazing! hehehe...) However, the doctor felt it would cause more harm than good to remove the endo ( it would cause extensive scarring which would just cause MORE endo to grow...boo)...and so now we'll be going a more "agressive medicine" route to control the pain....apparently one way of reducing the pain would be to have children. So, I'm looking into that as we speak. hehehe....can you tell that i'm all loopy and drugged?! No? you mean I always make inappropriate jokes!? oh. nevermind then.

So, now I have some really beautiful bandaids on my tummy...aaaaaannnnd my stomache is all round and poochy because they pumped me up with air so they could stick the camera in and look around. hehe. Its really funny looking actually, and if it wasnt so incredibly sore I think I'd be tempted to punch myself in the stomache to see what would happen to all that air. My throat still really hurts ( it was hard to talk yesterday) because of the tube they put down it during the surgery....annnnnd I feel like passing out every time I get up for any reason.
Yesssss....recovery is super fun! All the lovely people who have prayed for me and come to see me and talked to me-thanks bunches. I feel very loved.

Currently my father is taking care of me-he told me to "yell" when I had dishes that needed taken out of my room...so I yelled "Dishes!" in my raspy voice last night...I thought it was extremely funny at the time. It hurts to laugh. I dont know how funny it actually was...hmmmmmm....vicodin.

details...requests

SooOOoooooo....I'm having surgery around 9:30am tomorrow morning to "diagnois" and this hopefully "remove" ( I shouldnt have put that in quotes! hahaha) any endometrios that might be aimlessly growing inside me at this moment in time. Anyway, your prayers are much coveted since I do have to go under general anesthetic...and that doesnt seem particularly cool.
Other than that I just pray that I finally know without a shadow of a doubt what has been causing me so much pain for all these months.

I am SOO thankful to have friends like you who havent told me to shut up or suck it up while I've complained for months on end. I am also soooo thankful that I have prayerful friends. It is a blessing that I dont believe I could live without ;-).

On a brighter note I became really nervous about this surgery last night when I thought of all the possibly loopy things I could say while on drugs. THAT scares me more than anything ;-)

I must REALLY write my newspaper article for work now, talk about waiting till the last minute! meeeh.

morbid?

So, I sat down to have a quiet time and every single verse I read pertained to death.

Ummm...the evening before you have surgery, you start to wonder.... ;-)

But, since the mortality rate for this surgery is really not high. hahaha.
I will instead rejoice in the glory of the Lord tonight for this life is not our own. How beautiful that we could wake up in the Kingdom of Heaven without a care, a pain, a worry....its truly beautiful.

Has anyone read Daily Light for December 8th-10th?! Because seriously, its just STOCK full of good stuff...

I am torn between the two: I desire to depart and be with Christ, which is better by far...
~~
I go to prepare a place for you. I will come again and recieve you to Myself that where I am, there you will be also.
~~~
After my skin is destroyed, this I know, that in my flesh I shall see God.

And, well, I'm lame so I can't help but quote the Lord of the Rings:


" Is this the End, Gandalf?"

"The journey doesn't end here. Death is another path. One we all must take. The grey curtain of this world rolls back and all turns to silver grass. And then you see it...."

"What? See what?"

"White shores and beyond...the fair great country and a swift sunrise."

"Well...that isnt so bad, is it?"

" No, no it is not...."


So while tonight I marvel at the beauty of a Death in Christ, I must also pray for a Life in a Christ...oh that I might Live it well.

"edifying"

Just got back from my little overnight trip to Fort Worth with the girls....I just looked at my journal entry that I wrote before I left,

"Things seem to be working out. Why am I surprised? I know you will go before us, keeping us safe. And above all may this be a time that is benefitual. Spiritually edifying..."

I can honestly tell you I couldnt have had such direct answer to prayer! Our trip was great-but not because it was "perfect"...it was great because I have never felt so....mortal....and yet I have also never felt so safe and secure in the hand of God.

The girls and I were driving along, I had just turned onto a different stretch of road and we were going at a fairly fast pass ( the speed limit was 70) when all of a sudden the car in the right lane sped up and past me, then swirved in front of my car ( almost as though he wanted to cut us off), in a split second we would have hit head to head, if the car had not fish tailed away, giving me enough room to move into the right lane...from which we then watched the car flip in the air several times before landing in a ditch full of water....

We pulled over to see the guy climb out of his car..by then tons of cars had pulled over and we were actually in danger of getting stuck...so all we had left to do was to drive on....after saying a prayer for the guy in the wrecked car, and a thanks for saving all of our lives.

Later in the trip ( this is lots less dramatic but still)....we missed our turn to our hotel and found ourselves in the middle of down town Fort Worth, not really knowing where to go or what to do ( the problem with mapquest, is that if you somehow get off your directions there is no way of really getting back except by luck)....but, by a miracle I was able to some how get my barrings enough to get us to a part of town that I "sorta" knew and then got us to our hotel by an alternative route....during this time of aimless driving, I had to turn around on a small side street....in backing up, I saw that a car was parked on the other side of the road and I was aware that I wasnt going to hit said car...but then all of a sudden I heard a scream and I looked harder and saw that there was a women standing by the car all dressed in black...and i was seriously this close to hitting her....we made it to the hotel safe and sound...and you know, we really could have driven from Nacogdoches to Fort Worth without any incident at all...and I would have thanked God and I would have been grateful for his protection etc.
But, it seemed that this Friday night, He decided to SHOW us all the defenses and fortresses He puts up for His children...It seemed that at every turn I saw what could have happened if His hand of Grace had not been there....it was as if He showed all the death, danger and distruction that might touch us at any possible moment- yet, we are His...

The rest of our trip was full of good fun, visiting the crazy "Winter Wonderland" lights place.....where we posed with "decaying Jesus and the Last Super"...ask me about this sometime. good story)....buying FOUR pairs of shoes in the right size! and best of all Thida and my time at Billy Bob's the Biggest Honky Tonk in the world...it was absolutely fantastic, really and I'm glad I could share something so purely texan with her on her last night with me. ( I'm going to miss my little wife ;-) !)

But, ultimately, this weekend I learned more about my Savior and His love for me ( for it is undeniable that He saved my life several times!) and that made the weekend truly wonderful.

I am extremely tired. And my bed has probably missed me...


edit: Because things are always better told lots of different ways, I seriously recommend Christa and Briana's blogs that also talk about what happened....

bloody tired.

I know...profanity....but its true...I got blood taken this morning for my pre-op labs...and I should have eaten something afterwards which I blame on Thida for not thinking of and not making me do. BAD WIFE ;-)

Five girls heading off to Fort Worth this afternoon. I made us a "girls roadtrip" CD last night. And its great, if I DO say so myself...in fact, even if the trip is bad we can at least say that the soundtrack was good ( kinda like that "The Last Kiss" movie which was apparently horribly depressing...but I bought the soundtrack and its fantastic. Point Made).
So, pray that we have fun, more importantly: pray that we're safe, even more importantly pray that we're God focused.

In other news...I should be working extra hard since its my last day at work for a loooong while. Currently, I am pondering whether its possible to may an ENTIRE newspaper article about a past alum who's name was Silver Bells.

Hmmmm....

the countdown.

So, I was pretty sure that pain meds where not working AT. ALL when it came to my pain...until last night when I tried NOT to take anything for the pain...I laid there in bed and it just got worse and worse. I it was really quite incredible actually, and while I paid for it later ( waiting so long to take the meds)...it was also kind of helpful, since every so often you think, "am I just making this up?"

Either i have the best imagination ever...or I'm not.

So, I'm back to being excited about the surgery.

In other news, I've got no other news...except that it was sooo hard to get out of bed this morning, as in near impossible.

So, here's to accomplishing the impossible before 9am.

the latest...

Keeping the stress at bay with the happy help of denial! yaaaaay!
Woke up this morning with the funniest hair EVER. Honestly, I know I dont have to remind you how much I hate my current haircut, but another reason to add to the list is that I can’t do the following without very dire consequences:

Take shower, wash hair, go directly to bed, wake up, look in mirror.

My bangs where not sticking straight up...no...straight OUT...like a visor. It was awesome, and for about two seconds I considered taking a picture. But, honestly, there IS a vanity line and I think that would officially cross it. ;-)

But, as funny as it was...its annoying...I've been doing the wet haired sleep for...my WHOLE LIFE....in fact, in the past the best hair days come from sleep-dried hair. BUT NOW THAT HAS BEEN TAKEN FROM ME.
Also to add insult to injury, my bangs are starting to grow out and getting annoying. But, I REFUSE to get them cut, because I will not relive this evil cycle. ;-)

In other news, I need to write like three articles in the remaining days in the office (they are coming fast to a close). As per usual, I have absolutely no idea what I am going to write about...

good times

Deserving of the Day

Well, its definitely that time again:
Ten Little things that make me happy-

1. Happy endings
2. Lit Candles
3. The sound that heals make on hard floors
4. The window above the sink in my kitchen.
5. Pandora Internet Radio
6. Finding little notes randomly kept for no reason.
7. Pockets of winter coats
8. Old Yearbooks
9. curly hair
10. Cookie Cutters

out of sorts

I dont actually know what "sorts" are exactly. But, I really must be out of them!

It started yesterday afternoon, when Thida and I went to my pre-op doctors appointment. Thank goodness Thida was there, because we had to wait for a whole HOUR in which time we played a LOT of Hangman...anyway, after an hour of waiting they decided that there was NO WAY my doctor could see me today ( this brings me to a very important issue about how Doctor's offices are the only business that can be HORRIBLY unbusinesslike and get away with it. Its dreadful.). So, the lady at the desk starts telling me that the next possible day i can be seen is Friday morning. And so I calmly say that this is not possible since I have to work, and I'm already taking time off from said work to HAVE "surgery"....and that's when it hit me:

Ok, so I'm pretty laidback. I'm pretty fine with not knowing that many details, as long as I will "eventually" know some facts and details at a nice designated time. But, HONESTLY....Friday!?! So, the lady at the desk goes away to find out if I could possibly come in on Thursday morning ( I couldnt)....and after she walked away, I promptly start to cry. You know BIG tears that well up and make you blind.
And to be honest, I didnt care AT. ALL.
Because, as Thida so calmly explained it was ONLY RIGHT that I know what was going to happen to me with more than just JUST TWO DAYS to mentally prepare.
So, when the office lady who had only been "civil" up to this point came back and saw me with my big poor-me tears,she immediately changed her "I cant help you" tune and came up with a better game plan.

Thida and I then had to wait for ANOTHER hour for the nurse to come and talk to me about the basic procedures of the surgery ( I still have to go back on Friday to see the actual doctor).

It was dreadfully upsetting. And I'm still upset to a certain degree, and I dont even really know why...the surgery is really simple and I am still SOOOOO excited about having it, anything to get rid of this pain...


But, life just seems to be building up over my head and this morning I woke up worrying about taking Thida to Fort Worth on Friday...hoping that everyone who's coming along for the ride, would have fun. Wondering how we were ever going to get anything accomplished leaving at 4pm since its a pretty longish drive....

And then it seems that on top of that more confusing life decisions I've made in the last few months have all of a sudden started to become even moooore confusing... I dont trust my decisions...I dont trust my brain at all.

...

Wait...

Is it possible that I am actually going crazy?!

Is this what it's like?!

And you wake up...

And you think. WHOOOA. What am I doing??!

I'm officially stressed, and wondering how things are going to turn out.

So much to do, so many problems to be solved.
~~~

But, you know what? Its December...and something to look forward to is the Christmas posts that will be coming the week before Christmas. Last year, my dear friend Tabitha came up with the most wonderful idea...she sent me emails every day during the last week before Christmas-each one a small devotion of the true meaning of the Christmas season. This year I'm joining in the fun...because it was absolutely one of the greatest blessing of the last Christmas season.

Thinking back on last Christmas...when I found myself crying on my living room couch in the middle of Christmas day...the lesson for the year was to get rid of all my past perceptions of christmas...and start afresh. Because, I dont know about you...but the older you get the more you're going to face the imperfections of life. I'm going to guess that everyone reading this has SOMETHING that they're worried/stressed/mildly disturbed over. And the very commercial aspects of Christmas has given this false perception of euphoria...as though magically Christmas is going to mask all of those imperfections-for one whole day. But, its just not going to happen.


But, the fantastic thing about realizing that is that I now long for the true joy of Christmas a whole lot more. Time off from work,Presents, Lights, Food, Carols... even family...none of these things are really going to do it for me.
The longing for something better will never go away, but changing the avenue of where I search for the answer to my longing...that's the difference.

And that is why this Christmas season I will be trying my very very hardest to meditate on the truest meaning of this holiday and then try to share those thoughts with you...

Of course, I would love to have more than just a week's worth of mediations to share...so, if you have something that you would like to add, shoot me an email and I'll put it on the agenda and maybe we can get started on this earlier than the 18th! How does that sound?

In other news...its my last week of work before the Big Day. WOO! One week!!! Who's excited?! MEEEEEE!
Who has a lot of work to do before then?! Meeeeeeee!