Watch( men)

So, currently Brett's reading the last chapter in the Watchmen graphic novel. And I'm blowing my nose. That's right, apparently my body decided that all the various sicknesses of the past two weeks were not enough. great.

Anyway, we've got six more days in Texas. Six more days of "vacation" and six more days for me to "pretend" to not think about what we're about to face. Actually, its not as hard as one might think-especially since I know very very little about what is in front of us....

Today, I had to repent about my attitude regarding returning to Washington during this next year. I caught myself thinking that since I'll be gone for several months people will have forgotten me, new people will have shown up-people that don't know me, I will have been replaced in all things that I was "needed" for...so why go back? ( that was the question I came to.)
And then I remembered my real reason for wanting to go back to Washington. After praying about it, both Brett and I felt like I have more I can learn from the Strouds, really from all the Navigators at Fort Lewis. And honestly, when you don't have anything else to go on-realizing that there is always more to learn about serving Christ, living for Him....and how really unique it is to have FOUND a place where you feel like you can learn those things...well that's something to hold on to if you can! So, I must keep my mind focused on that and not on selfish and fearful things that will inevitably get thrown my way during a particularly lonely moment.

In other news, this weekend I went to a baby shower. Babies every where lately. Its insane how many of my friends here in Nac are either preggers or just had a baby, and then I went to a baby shower in Houston for one of Brett's cousins and found myself talking about "pumping schedules" with a complete stranger. That's right, she just turned towards me and just STARTS IN....seriously?! Are you kidding???? I didn't even know her NAME and she's telling me the details of the birth of her twin girls and details about her body parts that I do. not. need. to. know. I felt like I was in a sitcom or something.
Babies are incredibly cute though, and it is SO easy to get sucked into the whole wanting one of your own thing. I mean, come on, baby clothes? I'm all in. But, I'm currently working up a whole little rant about motherhood that I will share with you soon.

Which, I suppose we can then all stop and enjoy the irony about how the year before I began a relationship with Brett I spent most of my time blogging long exposes on singleness....and now here I am up on my high-horse once more over married women without children ( they have rights too!) ......of course, thanks to the army's schedule, I will not be having the babies myself anytime soon...So, I'll probably be up on this soap box for some time. Aren't you all looking forward to THAT?!

as for me...

This post is going to be disjointed so get ready...

I have had crazy dreams every SINGLE night I've been in texas. So has Brett. Last night I dreamed that Cindy gave Jack to me ( he's two) to keep me company while Brett was gone...and Brett dreamed that God teleported him.
Yeah.

I don't think we've hit upon prophetic dreams just yet.
~~

You know who's loved me being in Texas more than anyone?! Mosquitos. That's right. And I've got the bug bites all up and down my legs to prove it. In some ways Washington is wonderful.
~~

Yesterday I attended a sweet funeral of a dear family friend. Which brings me to the point that Texas "vacations" are not normal vacations in that you don't get to "forget everything and be carefree for days on end"...but, then again, I suppose we knew this when we decided to come here for three weeks....because in the end, striving to make our friends and family happy with our presence seemed more important than forgetting cares and worries for a certain "fake" amount of time....
~~~

I miss people. I miss people in Washington, I miss people in New Zealand. Its dreadful how many people I have to miss at any given moment! And yet, then again, its nice that I have so many people to miss. I'm blessed.

sickly little girl.

So yesterday ( and the day before...and for pretty much a week) I went back and forth between burping ( ew! that's for boys!) and fighting off the need to throw up and so I was delighted when I woke up this morning with neither, unfortunately the feeling was soon replaced by a loverly headache that threated migrane potential-thus leaving me bedecked in a eyemask for MOST of the afternoon and evening...
luckily I can talk rather well with an eyemask on which is how I settled the all-important issue of a place to live in Kansas!
YAY!

That's right friends God is faithful to provide! Yes,God is very very good, and I feel really good about the upcoming situation....sooo, looks like I'll be living with a fellow army-wife-husband-on-a-MiTT team named Christina. She is renting me her basement which includes a bedroom, bathroom, living room ( with cable! Abigail's gonna have TV! What out!) -with windows and a door to the outside and the use of her kitchen ( if necessary)...and on top of that I talked to her on the phone today and she sounds absolutely lovely. In fact, she's a high school teacher and already offered to help me set up getting a substituting job if I so desired. So yes, I think its going to work out.

Anyway, this is an incredible load off of my mind. And while the future is looking incredibly close and gloomy, I know that God is going to continue to help me through it.....whether I'll be getting through it with an eyemask on or not remains to be seen...

the calm

So, Its starting to sink in just a little bit....not in a bad way, I think, but sink in nonetheless, that Brett is leaving and that in very much less than I month I will only get to see him for a few scattered moments here and there.
It makes me incredibly sad. But also grateful for these weeks here in Texas...

eating. and other activities.

So, my stomach ( and Brett's) made it across the country just fine-thanks to everyone who prayed! And we're now officially soaking up the Texas sun-from inside a well air-conditioned house, of course. ;-)

Anyway, its been really surreal so far, I think its strange being here-because Nacogdoches will always have that TOTALLY familiar hometown-you-never-left air about it, but also because I don't think I've mentally prepared ( and we ALL know how much I like to mentally prepare) myself for this trip like I normally would. In fact, I quite literally obsessed and worried about moving all the way up until I walked out the door to drive to the airport to come here....and here, well, there is NO WAY I can do any packing or any other move related activities. I'm at a loss!

Of course, I say that there is nothing I can do about the move right now, but that would be wrong....oh don't you worry! I've already made a list of productive and important things that Brett and I need to get done in the next three weeks....that's right, with the invention of the cell phone one can never be too far away from ones responsibilities. unfortunately.

Oh, and can I just say, that I'm SO glad that I am friends with Amy ( who you can now see in my newly updated blog links) who is not only a blogger, but she's a newly married army wife, and not just an army wife, but an infantry officer's wife. Heck YEAH! Somebody ELSE to rant about the military in finely crafted sentence form. Makes me feel better about my own plights already. ;-)

you can....

...totally pray for me...

I am traveling for the better part of today ( one 45 minute drive, one 1 hour flight, one 4 hour flight, one 2 hour drive) and my stomach is NOT happy.

Its either the excitment about leaving for Texas
...the sadness about leaving Washington
...the stress of moving to Kansas
....or its flat out something bad going on in my stomach.

Whatever the case I've been queasy (and more...ugg) since last night, and the LAST time I flew with a stomach bug was my honeymoon, and I reeeeally don't want to relive that experience.

sleepless in seattle

How have I not used this title before?!
How horrible that I've lived here for a year ( and probably been sleepless more than once) and yet have not taken advantage of the great connection?! pitiful, just pitiful...

Anyway, I've been sleeping pretty much awfully ( awesome grammar, abigail!) for the past week or so, which probably adds to my grumpiness....but that's beside the point. The point is that its not surprising that I've been so sleep deprived since what better time to wonder about the minute details of ones life than at 2:30am?! That's right! It's the best time to think about all the things you didn't have time to ponder during the day ( or you were smart enough not to )....in fact, it was such the best time to wonder about all the details that I hadn't worried about yet that I almost woke Brett up so he could 'brainstorm' right along with me...( unfortunately, Brett was sleeping like the dead and even if I'd tried I don't think he was up for thinking about shower curtains and extra towels and where they should be packed at 2:30...not everyone is hardcore like me.)
Yet, I'd like to say as much of a grump as I've been the last week, it is obvious that I have low tolerance for packing, and that I can handle very little without cracking, let's take a look at the evidence:
Packing Day #1: horrible...
yet...it was followed by an all day concert outside of Seattle and then followed by Sunday and then followed by a two day trip to Victory ( that equals a FOUR DAY break from my ONE DAY packing!!!!)
Packing Days #2-4: really, really horrible ....
yet followed by yesterday when once again we got to do something really cool * more in a second*

And today I've only worked HALF the day because the other half is being taken up by church, bible study preparation and bible study.....and then I've only got tomorrow and then I've got THREE WEEKS in Texas!!!

So, as you can see....apparently, my life is not so bad after all, and yet it seems to take me only one cardboard box and many small items to put within, before I'm back in my mighty funk. Pitiful. Just Pitiful

* Back to why yesterday was cool*
Yesterday, Brett and I went to Snoqualmie Falls with Chuck and Bethany. For one thing this was good in itself because, Chuck and Bethany are two of our favorite people and definitely high up at the top of our list of "The Hardest People to Leave" and so getting to spend a day with just them was a very good thing...but then, go ahead an add the falls, which were totally amazing and fun, add in perfect weather, and car trip that included the following in no particular order: a bear sighting, watching an air show from up close, slurpies from 7 Eleven and good conversation, AS WELL AS a free lunch at a fancy, fancy restaurant ( you see, Anna and Ryan were amazingly thoughtful and gave Brett and I a gift certificate to the Salish Lodge for our anniversary, and we used it to its maximum potential!)....and you've got yourself an almost perfect day!

Also, The Dark Knight, totally lived up to its hype. Go see it!

Special K

Well, it seems we need to move soon or I'm going to go officially crazy. It is only fair after making fun of poor Brett and his five year old receipts, to say that yesterday I spent ALL DAY going through my clothes ( Brett's clothes and shoes too me about an hour and a half out of all that...) and shoes....yup. That's right. All. Day. I'm a total clothes horse. ( I just accidently wrote house, which might actually be more accurate..), and I think the thing which should really make the audience gasp in horror is that in the past year I've bought maybe three pairs of shoes ( its becoming harder and harder to find tiny shoes for these tiny feet of mine)...which MEANS that the dozens and dozens ( and dozens) of shoes that I have, yeah, totally had those a while....I blame all the high heels on my years as a 'real person' and I blame all those flats on being a barrista...so there you go, the price one pays to change 'careers'...
Anyway, today I must start the dreaded task of packing up my kitchen. Which is why I just ate cereal out of Brett's cereal bowl, why dirty up TWO bowls when I've got to immediately wash and pack them all?! Yup, I'm all about efficiency. Or laziness.
But, I will mention that yesterday two really cool things happened:

1. Amy and I got our swimsuits in the mail ( woo!) and therefore we were able to go swimming...you know LAP swimming....It was soOOoooo fabulous to be back in the water, why did I give up swimming in the first place?! I have no idea. I think it was because I always had to do it at ungodly hours in the morning...but now that the army has taught me to embrace 4:30 in the morning like it was my own ( sort of)....maybe I'll get back into it. Afterall, I also went for a run yesterday and today I'm not even that sore! I must be a triathlete in the making ( too bad I can't ride a bike).

2. Last night we had Thursday night Bible Study at Main Post Chapel instead of North Fort Chapel ( where we've had it for the past four months or so...maybe longer I can't remember)...anyway, Wes Wood brought up how cool it was that we had to be back at main post chapel for just one week and it just so happened to be Brett and my last week at bible study! We got to end where we started! And it really DID give a clearer picture of just how MUCH God has done in my year here in washington! We started our bible study with a handful of people and now we were literally splitting the room at its seams. Praise God! He has definitely been faithful to us!

Ok, so I suppose I've put off my work long enough...I'll leave you with this link which totally made me laugh this morning:


One of the many reasons why I made a really great English Major.

attitude adjustment hour

So, even though Brett was going off in the early morning hours to do "important things" and I even knew deep down that he really was doing things that needed to be done ( i.e. turn in equipment, follow paper trails down rabbit holes etc. etc.) so that we could leave Washington....I was left for 12 hours alone in our messy apartment, packing and lets just say things didn't bode well for Brett in this scenario. Not only did I start hating all of our possessions, I started taking things really personally:
Abigail comes upon three years worth of incredibly oversized TCU year books, each one weighs about fifty tons, inside our entertainment center. Abigail's first thought is, "Who needs yearbooks anyway?! Brett NEVER looks at these, ever! Look!!! They've got dust all over them..."
Then Abigail thinks better of the original idea of throwing the books away but she starts to feel that Brett went to TCU on purpose just to receive these gianormous yearbooks so that one day his little teeny tiny ( I gained like five pounds over last weeks "celebration time" so I'm trying to make myself feel better) wife would have to find a way to pack them!

This general idea that Brett is somehow trying to sabotage my packing process is solidified with three over-stuffed accordion folders full of miscellaneous papers that actually included not only papers that he wrote in college ( worth keeping) but also very, very, old junk mail ( you have been pre-approved to have your very own American Express Card!!!!!) and scraps of paper with the game score of some game that Brett and his roommates played in college ( oh yes. you heard me.)...so by the time Brett gets home at 6pm I've totally forgotten why he left the house in the first place and I cannot recall for the LIFE of me why it was so important for him to be gone 12 hours....so yes, being married to me for a year and two days....poor brett, indeed.

Annnnyway, why think about yesterday? When today I've got a closet and two sets of drawers to go through, pack and organize into three distinct piles: Texas for three weeks, Kansas for three months and Abigail's clothes for a year waiting for Brett to come back from Afghanistan....

But, today is going to be much better...for one thing I've started with a quiet time ( and let's not lie, this is the only way to start the day....on any day...but especially days that include packing. ) and I'm going to go for a run -which I havent done in a week ( eee!)...and I'm POSSIBLY going to finally give into all of Amy's comments and stop by the coffee shop ( especially if it means I get a muffin!) ....So here's to a better day.

booked

It is not cool to just buy more books or movies just because you think you might watch/read them again....or at some point will want to have said movie/book around! Because seriously, after you pack up 264 DVDS ( that's right...of course a lot of those are TV shows, which means more disks...but STILL!) and TWENTY boxes of books you start to think that MAYBE you've gone a tad over the top...
Of course, it was telling that Brett and my favorite places to go on any vacation, weekend afternoon or evening that we had free...where bookstores. Well, that should have been my clue.
We've got a problem. And the fact that I put Brett on a book buying fast about a month ago makes me think now that I was wrong...I should have done it a lot lot earlier.

In other news, I just realized that pretty much every second until we leave for Texas needs to be filled with me hardcore packing, so if this means that I neglect you in any way shape or form in the next five days, don't take it personally....blame the books.

In sickness and in health

Happy Anniversary to Brett and I!! Today I can now say that we've been married over a year!
Yay!!

I have pretty much already listed off many of the ways in which I have been overwhelmed by how God has taken care of Brett and I during our first year of marriage- and if you missed it, go read my post here...

But, since it's been a few days since that was written-here are some of the things that have happened in the last few days to commemorate the end of our first year together...

-An entire day in the sun, listening to totally awesome music at the Subterranean Pop ( record label...) festival...the best of the day? Answer: totally The Fleet Foxes, obviously Iron and Wine...and DEFINITELY Flight of the Conchords ( although, I'd have to say I was disappointed that Flight of the Conchords didn't sell any shirts...boo!!!)

-Brett's final ( oh, wait...just kidding....he's got one more this week) "good bye, and good luck" party from his Company...he was super excited about his engraved battle club that the Cheyenne dog soldiers supposedly used. I was much less enthusiastic because all I could think was A) that's totally going to poke someone's eye out. and B) where/how am I going to pack that?! ( I have a pretty one track mind of late...)

-And our Anniversary trip to Canada:
So, the trip to Victoria ( which is on Vancouver Island) on the "Victoria Clipper" was a tiny piece of hell....pretty much everyone got sea sick...picturing the scene which included the staff going up and down the aisle handing out more sick baggies, and the sound of people throwing up was pretty much comedic ( after the fact)... Yeah. It was that bad. It was a far cry from the idealic "cruise" we'd imagined Luckily, we'd booked ourselves pretty much the most awesome hotel ever and therefore didn't feel so bad that we spent a good portion of the day recovering in bed. The other part of the day we walked all around Victoria trying to figure out what makes Canada so darn different from the USA...and finishing up the day eating awesome food at an ultra romantic italian restaurant ( incidentally, it seemed that after throwing up, Brett felt he had to eat his way through the rest of the day to make up for the "lack of food in his stomach"....this included a piece of cheese cake dipped in chocolate and stuck on a stick.....that's right, on a stick, why I hadn't thought of this genius idea sooner is beyond me..)...the next day we slept in, did our quiet time in a charming coffee shop and hopped on a bus to the Butchart Gardens , where we spent the rest of the day wandering around in beautiful gardens. My favorite quote from Brett: "So money can't buy you happiness, but it CAN buy you a rock quarry that you turn into a paradise with hundreds of gardeners and thousands of plants..."
Our return trip to Seattle was a lot less "eventful" -which was a blessing since we've got one week till we go to Texas and we've got a lot on our plate....

Abigail Reviews Herself:

I've officially packed 7 boxes....my house is a mess and I'm feeling like, yeah, maybe I don't have enough boxes...meeeeh!

Anyway, stopped to eat pretzels and peanut butter and drink diet coke ( because that's how I roll). And after checking my email this is what I was told:





I am, like number 500 and something on their list of ( thousands...but still) blogs. I am HURT!! Are you kidding?!
Here are their criteria ( who are they anyway?! )
Frequency of Updates, Relevance of Content, Site Design, and Writing Style.

OK, so Frequency of updates...I feel like I'm at least a 9 on that!
Relevance of Content....since the blog is called "Abigail's Day"...that pretty much means whatever Abigail writes is Abigail relevant that's a 10 for sure!
Site Design....ok....yeah....I pretty much just changed the colors on one of the blogger templates, but I'm not a template genius! I'm just a little ol' girl with no html skillz! And at least its easy to read, right?! riiiiight?? ( I give myself a 7 on this one. boo)
Writing Style.....mmm.....yeah, that's hard. I don't really use punctuation in the "tranditional" since, but I would say MOST of the time I make sense...eeeeh. I give myself an 8.


Now, lets see, let me pull out my old highschool mathbook and remember how to average numbers....


oh.

I just gave myself and 8.5

Well....I guess those people at blogged weren't too far of....

*What to Do with Daylight

Daylight starts early around here these days-and with a bedroom facing the morning sun its hard not to get up early. And when you realize you have ten days ( minus four that you'll be doing fun travel-y things) to pack up your whole house you start getting up earlier....

As a Christian I feel like sometimes the Son shines brighter and I cannot help but "get up early" and do what I can in the daylight that I have. Whatever you do, do it heartily, as to the Lord....I think my migraine not only forced me to bed, but it forced me to pray more than I have in weeks...to sit and be forced to think about all the things I'd pushed aside. I pray for those that are on my heart. It was a pleasure. ( And with that, I'd like to go ahead and request that the headache I have this morning STAY just a "little" headache and not turn into something more...I've had enough "quiet time").... I did quite a bit of praying for my Coffee House People during my "bedded down time".

...those that I had the privilege to become friends with during my 11 months at Lacoste Coffee. Beautiful people with hearts that Shone with the Light of Christ.
I think one of the biggest lessons I learned this year was the lesson of loving. Loving people through actions...loving through time. I watched it through my little group of elderly ladies who came and talked over their cups of coffees for hours as they went through all their own heartaches, their burdens for the people they went to church with, their desires for the lost ones that God has placed in their lives and finished by holding hands in a circle and giving those things to the Lord. I saw it in the retired pastor who came and sat with widowers who'd nursed their wives through last sicknesses and now were at a loss at what to do with themselves. I saw it in the lady who worked at Albertsons across the street, who spent countless hours finding more suitable living situations for a few elderly people that lived in the dilapidated apartments across from the coffee house. I saw it in "M", ( I'm not sure if she'd want her name advertised) a pharmaceutical rep who came every Tuesday to do her work talking to doctors as they came in for coffee, but ended up spending most of her time befriending a nurse who worked nights and came in needing someone to talk to...

Yes, coffee is choice. You can get it to go, running to your car...putting it in your large thermos cup so that it'll stay warm while you're doing all the things that keep you so very, very busy. Or you can stop, you can sit and drink it with someone, someone who is absolutely in need of someone to talk to, someone to listen to them, to hear their story, to care. There is a greater ministry there than I think people realize. I talked to M for a few precious moments on my last day and I saw in her the frustration and discouragement that I have felt many times, the idea that "this just isn't enough"...but seeing it in her made it easier for me to see the lie in that...for I have seen the importance of all the time given by these people-the difference it has made in the lives they have given themselves to...so often we are worried about what we're going to say...what we're going to do...but today just try to listen....
Listen, and I promise you'll get past all the walls that people put up to hide their pain, their shame, their fears...you'll get past it to where they keep their hopes, their dreams and their desires for something More.

So, I am sad to leave my Coffee House. The job that I prayed for in Texas, the job that God got for me, a place that I thought was just to pass the time till Brett got home-but turned into a place where I learned so much about....Coffee.

How will I choose to drink it in the future, with I take it to go and "run"...or will I sit a while?


* The title of this post is dedicated to Emily who left me a message on my cell phone ( some time during my migraine coma) that Brooke Fraser is finally being played on American Radio... terribly exciting news!

shaky start...

So, I think I'm back in the land of the living....one can only hope, especially since the list of things I must accomplish today is rather longish. In fact, if Will alone can stop a headache I think I may have achieved it. ( probably more like the prayers).
First thing on the list is a shower because lets face it, even though I was lying in bed for one and a half days...one can still smell a little funky ...

Second thing on the list is a visit to Wal-Mart. Somehow I've made it a WHOLE YEAR ( that's right!) without going to Wal-Mart...for one thing its pretty far away, for another thing the PX and Target have treated me rather well....but apparently Wal-Mart has the cheapest storage bins around ( I've been researching) so off I go....and I must admit I'm kinda excited...Wal-Mart is the heart of America in a lot of ways ( my father will disagree, I'm sure...Wal-mart is up there on his "hate" list) and I've totally been missing out!

I would also like to get started going through our storage closet...but considering how shaky I am today....I don't know if that's going to happen...besides I've also got a coffee with Cindy and some cupcake baking to do this afternoon as well... I've got a lot to fit in!!! But, then I do enjoy that last sentence with the "coffee" and the "cindy" and the "cupcakes"....all those "c" words! YAAAY! Nothing like a little alliteration to make a girl truly feel better...

uh-oh ( again)

So, yesterday was my last day of work...and I had a WHOLE blog post planned out to commemorate the event...but nooOoooo..around 3pm I started to realize that headache I've had for four days off and on....well, it decided that it didn't want to be ignored anymore-which is how I ended up in bed with an eye-mask on, only to move to throw up or adjust said eye mask. It is now a good 23 hours later and while I still have a pretty awful headache I was tired of lying down thinking thoughts.

Sometimes thinking thoughts can be exhausting. Especially when you're thinking thoughts to distract you from throwing up.

Anyway, I am frustrated because today was going to be me taking care of Danielle after her eye surgery. Today was going to be me starting the awful task of packing ( which I've apparently put off to a dangerous point) and today was going to be about me making my friend Amy feel better after the "Welcome to the Army: This is your life" that she got after coming back from her honeymoon...but nooOOoooo. Instead its just me in my bed. I don't like being sick, not even a little bit, and while there is never a good time....this is DEFINIELY not a good time! I have the next two weeks planned down to the hour!!!
*sigh*

I do want to go ahead and say that my time at Lacoste Coffee will not go on documented in blog post...it's coming, as SOON as I can sit up for longer than five minutes without my head spinning like a top.

glorious and majesty

So, my first "camping" experience was a lot like my past "camping" experiences ( which basically just proves that Abigail was not meant to rough it), meaning that we were in close proximity to nice clean bathrooms, we ate lots of yummy campfire foods ( super important), sat around chatting with great friends, and finally retired in the back of a truck bed on top of a futon mattress!!! hahah! that's right, I didnt even have to sleep on the ground! awesome! And then we woke up and went to a nearby lodge and ate a breakfast buffet followed by a lovely lounge by Crescent Lake ( if you are ever in need of a vacation spot....that is reasonably priced and has a KNOCK OUT view, I've got some places for you!) and then a nice walk to a totally cool waterfall ( just so that I could feel relatively close to nature)-we then came back to the lake and had a prayer time with Mike and Katie before heading home. In so many ways it was a great way to spend some good quality time with our dearest friends here at Fort Lewis, we're going to miss their friendship SO much! But, I'm pretty sure I deserve any kind of making fun of that people want to do regarding this idea of "camping" ( with air quotes included).

Anyway, after "camping" Brett and I headed home to find Chuck and Bethany in the exact same location on our couch that we'd left them the day before, watching the exact same movie ( granted it was Lord of the Rings Extended Edition... which is long)...but it turns out they had actually moved around a little bit, they had gotten ALL the groceries we needed for our Fourth of July celebration (which was soooo great of them, I can't tell you how much I hate going to the grocery store sometimes!) and so with Bethany's help with all the side dishes and Brett and Chuck doing all the grilling our Fourth of July food was pretty much on par with Thanksgiving dinner ( i.e. I felt incredibly over full after)....and waaaay low key and relaxing. Oh! And now to my favorite part, we watched fire works in Steilacoom ( I've decided this is what Stars Hallow would be like on the west coast), at a small park overlooking Puget Sound-with dear friends ( I know I've mentioned that I'm glad Daniel and Tim are back, but seriously, I am so grateful!) ...we could see small towns all along the edge of Puget Sound having their various fireworks shows as the sun slowly began to set...and then at 10:30pm (finally!) we saw one of the closest most intense firework shows I've ever seen! It was truly incredible.

Of course, during this truly amazing few days my heart has been incredibly heavy and prayerful for the Hiebert Family and all of Kathy's friends and family who truly lost a dear one on Thursday. I know that God has a plan for those left behind and He was truly gracious for taking her Home and yet I know she would appreciate it if everyone would continue to pray for her five children and her husband Todd, I know my heart is with them right now....I cannot imagine their loss...

parades and rain ( isnt there a saying...?)

Exciting goodness happened yesterday when both Daniel and Tim returned safe and sound from Iraq! Yaaaaay! This was doubly good because this means that Brett gets to hang out with them before we leave. I was so sad about the thought that he'd leave without getting to say goodbye to them!

Also, last night I watched Brett, Tim, Daniel and Chuck put together a hardcore grill for Luke ( Amy is giving it to him for his birthday present and its been sitting in our living room waiting for them to go on their honeymoon for weeks now so that we could set it up for her)...it was great to see them all together again, awwww! Reminds me of those days not too long ago when I was always the only girl in the midst of a sea of boys. hehe.

Today I'm meeting with one of the new girls that's started coming to bible study...and can I just say, that while I absolutely know that its a good thing that I'm leaving for Kansas...I am so sad that I have to leave right now when it seems lots of exciting stuff is starting to happen with the Nav girls. I'm missing a great big God party! Anyway, I've been trying to hang out with all the new girls as much as possible anyway...and listen to THIS:
So, I got a text from one of them saying she wanted to have lunch and also that she wouldnt be abe to make it to Bible Study on Thursday, which I replied that I'd love to have lunch, and that I was missing bible study this week too ( get to that in a minute)...and THEN she said, "well, we can just do bible study together at lunch today, then!"
I know! It was sooo exciting to have someone get excited about doing their bible study, someone really desiring to dig deeper and grow. I think I've really gotten so use to being the cheerleader and trying desperately to set a fire to a wet blanket ( or that's how I feel) that to have one ELSE actually initiate is awesome! God is good!

So, in case you're wondering why I'm missing Bible Study tonight: I'm going camping. That's right. For real. As in, over night. At a camp site. Anyway, I'm sorta nervous at the moment since its currently raining and I looked at the forecast for where we're going and its worse there. BOO! But, we're going with Mike and Katie ( they're actually staying for two more nights!!!) and so that'll make it fun-and worse comes to worse it'll be a good " girlie girl goes camping: havoc ensues" story for later....

Other news that's happened lately: Brett was promoted to Captain. I nearly cried when I watched all the guys from his old platoon pass by and salute him one by one....I got lost running again yesterday, I'm going to have to start mapquesting my routes before I go......

numero uno

Then King David went in and sat before the LORD, and he said:
"Who am I, O Sovereign LORD, and what is my family, that you have brought me this.


I read this during my bible reading this morning and I definitely feel David's sentiment. I can't believe its already July! And while Brett and I will soon be leaving washington and our first year of marriage behind, in a lot of ways I am incredibly grateful that God has given us an entire year of marriage without him being deployed! It could have been a lot lot worse...so yes, we have been held in His hands.

This year among many small things has included the following:

-An amazing wedding that went without a hitch.
-A honeymoon that was great- in fact, I didnt get a terrible stomach bug until we were on the plan headed home! Amazing!
-We were blessed with a lovely two bedroom apartment and a guest bedroom so we could have guests anytime we wanted.
-We were given Mike and Katie as neighbors-who, I mean, how often do you get a couple for friends-where everyone likes to hang out with each other equally?! ( apparently its rare, although we were blessed with it right out of the gate!)
-I was able to get a job at Lacoste Coffee, which turned out to be a joy pretty much every single day.
-Brett was assigned to A Company as a platoon leader, not his first choice of company, but it turned out to be exactly where God wanted him.
-Brett was able to develop many important relationships at his job.
-I was able to develop relationships with those that I served at the coffee shop as well as those i worked with.
-We were able to be a part of the very beginnings of the Navigator Thurs night bible study and watch it grow from just a handful to doubling and tripling in size.
-We have been able to meet with amazing believers every Sunday night for indepth bible study, and we've learned so much from every one of them.
-We found a church that we have gotten a lot from, and been able to invite others and watch them grow from the teachings, as well. ( last count about 10 people are not attending this church because we invited them to come!)
-I was given many special girl friends when I was feeling particularly lonely.
-Brett was able to develop several close friendships and watch how God has worked in those guys lives in a big way.
-We got to have visits from family members over the Thanksgiving break.
-We were able to go back to Texas for an extended trip over the christmas holidays.
-We got to take multiple weekend trips to the beach, seattle, northern washington, portland and several islands nearby and Mount Rainer and Mount St Helen's ( with the Kinnairds! yay!) .
-I made it through many illnesses with lots of love and support...and lets not forget, free medical care!
-We bought our first brand new car and paid it off in less than 8 months ( God is good!).

And above all God has continued to answer our prayer for our marriage that He would give us one heart and one way, that we would learn to fear the Lord always ( Jer 32:39)

I wrote a post...

But, I'll probably post it later, what I dowant to write about is more of a prayer request.... A dear family friend, Kathy Hiebert, is in very critical condition in Houston at the moment. In fact, it seems as if her sweet family is facing some difficult decisions at the moment regarding her future and so I covet your prayers for all of them.... especially her husband Todd and their five children. This family has faced many difficulties over the years and with each step they have rested in Christ's Peace and love and He has been glorified through it all. please stop and pray for this family.

If you would like to know more about Kathy's current condition, you can check up on her here.

all sorts of awesome.

So, this morning I didn't have to be at work until 7:30. So I decided to be awesome and to get up at my normal time and therefore get my run in before work...all was going well...the weather was cloudy, cool...and there is something mildly great about early mornings. And so I ran and I ran... and I ran. I started to see water on my left hand side ( that would be the sound..was I in steilacoom already?! ) and the road just seemed to keep on going. Uh-oh.
I thought for sure this road made a loop at some point, right? But, it was getting on to 7am and I was just getting farther and farther from home.
I was either going to die out there on someone's neighborhood street ( which is just lame) or I was going to have to ask for directions.
I had a mental picture of me dripping with sweat in my gross holey t-shirt, knocking on the door of one of the many houses with a BMW parked out front and asking some maid that didnt speak english how to get home ( which I wasnt even sure where home was). But, luckily I came upon a lady watering her lawn and she told me I was "about a mile" and a half away from the road I needed.
Sweet.
I had about twenty minutes before I needed to be at work.

So that's how I ran four miles in the time I usually run three. haha! I suppose I just need the right motivation. ;-)

June 28th: Summer begins

So apparently summer in Washington doesn't begin at the normal time. But, just when I'd begun to despair...summer finally happened.
So what are some summer characteristics, you ask?

1. Almost die of a heat stroke. Coming from Texas this is pretty much a must, I mean if I'm not sweating profusely and desiring water continually then, I'm sorry, its just not summer....anyway, today I went for my run and I totally thought I was going to die. I wasnt totally recovered for at least an hour after finishing my run. It was awesome.

2. Large bodies of water are required. Now, let me just say that I have a swimming pool about 10 feet from my back door and I have a beach about ten minutes down the road ( maybe less) and I've gone pretty much all year without even the slightest desire to get into either of these bodies of water...till today. Today Brett and I had dinner on the beach and it was fabulous. I mean, SURE when we stuck our feet in the water they immediately turned into ice cubes...but that's beside the point.

3. air conditioning in the car. seriously, today was the first time I turned the air on! I know!! Shocking! And I had to sit there and let it blow in my face for, like, a whole minute ( it was right after that awful run.) Oh, and since we don't even have an air conditioner in our house ( because we don't need it.)...we DO have the fan on. I know. amazing.

4. I'm not wearing a sweater. Yup, it can't really be summer until I no longer have to layer. And today I took my hoodie to the beach and I didnt even have to wear it!! incredible.

6:29

I have one minute before my alarm is suppose to go off. I couldnt go back to sleep after getting up with Brett this morning. Something to do with a headache, something to do with worries. Something to do with too many thoughts...

Anyway, I just wanted to say that yesterday was a beautiful day...I wished I'd had my camera charged for most of it....did lots of walking on the beach, in the park, by a lake, all over Steilacoom....it was great because all that walking came with looooong conversations and a walk/prayer time! Yay!

Lacking, however, was my time with Brett....he was at work until 11 last night! I suppose this was his "welcome back" after his mini-holiday, and so therefore I shouldnt complain...but it DOES leave me wondering-does the army know anything OTHER THAN extremes?!

Alarm goes off.

( apparently the above is how many words I can write in a minute. Impressive. ;-)

go all hardcore.

So, last night we had a little dinner for the newest girls that came to the Thurs. night bible study ( the count just continues to rise! Its amazing! ) ...and ALL the girls showed up ( take that all you nah-sayers that say girls only show up to bible study because boys are there..)! It was way cool to actually chat with some army chicks..I mostly get to talk to Army-wives, but girls in the army...well, I have TONS of respect for them too! Its incredible with what they put up with :-)

Anyway, my absolute favorite part of the evening when I realized that the girl I'd picked up on the way to dinner had been talking about becoming a PRO-wrestler and not just your normal "regular wrestling" ....whoooooa. she just went up, like, five points on the interesting-people-that-I'm-glad-I-know scale.
I SO hope I'm around when she actually has a match so I can go to that....I mean, I feel like that's going to totally suprass the time I worked at the Monster Truck Rally as far as "Places I never thought I'd go"


Speaking of places I never thought I'd go....I am currently excited about the possibility of fulfilling one of my LIFE TIME GOALS. I will hopefully get to visit my cousins in China with Aunt Donnave at the end of the year! I know! Anyway, its one of those things that may help me get through the thought of Brett leaving in November.

I'm leaving you with a quote that I found in a book that you should all read: Bullet Proof: The Making of an Invincible Mind by Chuck Holton.....I'm only on chapter two and I already feel inspired to live my life a little bit less safe ;-)

( actually the quote is from Jim Elliot...)

"God, I pray Thee, light these idle sticks of my life and may I burn up for Thee. Consume my life, my God, for it is Thine. I seek not a long life , but a full one, like you, Lord Jesus."

you can't take it with you...

I'm starting to collect boxes and newspapers like a homeless person. And randomly bringing up in conversations that we'll be leaving Washington in three weeks ( for texas anyway...)-even when it doesnt fit the conversation at all. I take pride in turning the conversation back to me:

Person: I'd like a 12 oz Latte with three shots of espresso...
Me: Speaking of three...


I've started mentally inventorying random rooms in our house when I'm trying to fall asleep . And I've also stopped buying groceries ( unless you count: milk, fruit, veggies, chicken and cereal as groceries, which I dont) so that we'll be FORCED to eat the food we already have in the house.

Yes, its true, I may not have a place to live once we get to Kansas but I'm very very slowly starting to think about the fact that I'll be living there in two months.
Make that less than two months.
And the fact that I'll only be able to take stuff that can fit in one of our cars, which means...well...I maaaay have to do without a few bottles of half empty shampoo. *sigh*
I hate packing. I realize that I've started to turn into my father and all I want to do is throw everything remotely unused out.


In other news, I'm going to a dinner party this evening and I invited a girl who came to bible study for the first time last week, I just got off the phone with her and she said, "I'm bringing my appetite!"

I don't know, it just struck me as really cute, and she's pretty much my new favorite person.

Me and M. Night

So, it turns out that not only is M Night Shyamalan falling down on his game. But sadly. So am I. I just took a little gander at my past blogs, you know one of those "what was I doing this time in June 2005, 2006...) well.... according to myself ( and who's a better critic than ME?!) I was waaaaaaay funnier back then.

I've become way to serious. for serious.

And its not like life is going to really get more light hearted so I really just need to make a mental switch, find myself a new Evil Neighbor to make fun of. Something. Anything.

disappointment.

So, tonight I just finished writing a whole list of why I've been a bad Navigator's Girls Leader. And yes, it was long, and yes it seems I've accomplished very little-but at least I know that ultimately all the girls are in Christ's hands and He can do great things with each and every one. Its upsetting when you can't FORCE people to turn up...do there study....have quiet times....love people. ( that last one especially)...hahaha, I guess if we did have that kinda power, that would make this whole life we're all living a whole different cup of tea, aye? ;-) I guess basically it all boils down to me wishing that I was either smart enough, spiritual enough, gifted enough to inspire people to greatness ( myself included).

*sigh*
I need to pray more.

Annnyway, in other disappointing news: The Happening, the latest M. Night Shyamalan movie-BIG disappointment. Not only did I have to shut my eyes A LOT, but I also found that there was no "surprise" or "twist" or anything to redeem all the disturbing plot developments. Boo, M. Night, BOO! In fact, I'm worried about him, his last one just barely made it into my thumbs up category....I hope he's not loosing his edge completely.

Luckily, Brett and I did a double feature today, first we saw Get Smart...which was totally great, and I felt it really stood by its television roots as well as developing nicely for future movies. Totally happy with that one. And yes, we DID see two movies back to back and spent heaps of money at the movie theatre. Its so unfair that SO many movies we want to see are coming out this summer, its pretty much taking up all our holiday funds. ;-)

Hancock
Wanted
The Dark Knight
Mamma Mia
The X-Files: I want to believe
Swing Vote
Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants Two ( HAHAHAHAHA! Just kidding...)

fan favorites??

So, I got two free song downloads from itunes for buying concert tickets....and now I'm torn. There are several entire CDs that I want to buy...but just singles?? I just dont know....

Anybody have some one off songs that I just NEED to have?!

Comment away!

no holds barred

So kids, looks like we've got ONE MORE MONTH of "Life in Washington: The Wilsons" before things get really crazy. Last week Brett and I spent the whole week living it up with Anna and Ryan, Steve and Billie....it was fantastic. It was also strange because it was as though we were on vacation in our own home. This was helped significantly by the fact that Brett did not have to go out on the field and therefore had more free time to spend with the family. ( amazing miracle, by the way.)...but now everyones back in the Texas heat and things are starting to sink in that we're leaving Washington so soon. There is a lot to do.
And here's a question that people keep asking me ( for very very good reason). "Abigail, have you found a place to live in Kansas yet?" And I say, "um. no"

I'm not worried. Yet. For whatever reason, I feel sure that God will somehow provide a place for me to live....
And currently there are a lot of things at hand to take care of ( I feel like finding a place to live in Kansas is very remote at the moment).

One thing I would like to say is that I feel the past week was a lovely little reminder ( bitter sweet ) of what a wonderful place Washington has been...minus all the bad weather, it can truly be spectacular. We visited both Mount Rainier and Mount St. Helen while the fam was in town and I was truly blown away by the beauty we saw...His majesty is everywhere.

I have also had several reminders this week of what a beautiful place God has given me to work. On Tuesday, one of my regulars saw that Brett was sitting over on his computer while I was working and so he went over and told him that he had heard about us leaving ( I talk a lot at work...) and asked if he could pray for Brett...and then he went ahead and put a hand on Brett right there and prayed for him.
Yes. Really sweet.

And then yesterday one of my other regulars brought me a ceramic mug that he had made, he apparently does pottery in his spare time and wanted to give me a going away present! AWW!

Anyway, sometimes it is really incredible just how wonderful my job has been for me in this particular season in life, and in this particular time in Washington. It was not just something to do or a way to make money...it also taught me a lot and showered a lot of blessing from unlooked for sources. I suppose what I am trying to say, is that while I am not sure what is going to happen a month or two from now, I feel sure that it will be more than what I could ask for, and it will meet all the needs that God feels need to be met. To be honest, I feel totally showered by blessing at the moment, the idea that we'll get to spend three weeks( ish) in Texas, and the fact that Brett will be taking almost a month off from work-all of these things are truly truly wonderful and I hope that I can soak them up to their very fullest since I feel they will soon be poured out again...

Well, I am off to Bible Study now, but I just wanted to say "Hi" and that life's about to get interesting and I promise that blog posts will start to be more frequent again.

then your barns will be filled to overflowing,
and your vats will brim over with new wine.

gone, but not forgotten?

Sorry I've been MIA of late...it seems that when you've got your sister and brother-in-law staying in your home plus your second parents in town, and a Luthier Conference added on top-one finds that there is little time to check ones emails much less write a blog...

Anyway, dont worry...I havent forgotten about you, and I'll be back some time next week :-)

rebel, no cause

I decided to wear the "thin" long-sleeved shirt today...afterall, just because its cold and pouring down rain doesnt negate the fact that it's freakin JUNE which is...SUMMER.
Yeah, that's right. I'm a rebel. A weather rebel.

Oh and the shirt just so happens to match my cutesy new cupcake earrings ( thanks amy!)..

In other news, I'm trying most desperately to get out of an FRG meeting for this evening. I mean, SURE it promises to be my last, but so did the meeting I went to last week...and let's be honest, the army has always been super good at lying to me. Anyway, this meeting I'm particularly dreading because its the one where I'm suppose to "hand over" my POC duties to the new Platoon Leader's wife. While this sounds awesome, I have to do said hand over with the FRG leader sitting there...and so everyone is bound to know once and for all that I do the BARE MINIMUM. This brings up something I'm suspected for a long time...that
A) I'm totally lazy.
B) I'd rather not people know about A).

I really need to grin and bare it. I mean, surely it will only last three or four hours ( that's JUST HOW LONG these things last. not. kidding.) and then I'll put the whole thing behind me. Learn my lesson and be a better army wife in Kansas. *sigh*

Things that are good...

First of all, go see Kung Fu Panda. This movie is totally and completely fabulous. I laughed the whole time and then continued to laugh throughout the day when things would remind me of the movie...

Best quote: "Blinded by the light of his shear awesomeness."

Also good things: The early ( but needed right now) going away present from Amy= What Not to Wear on DVD PLUS What Not to Wear book ( make no mistake, we're talking the US version not the UK version...Stacey and Clinton are a million times better than the original)...oh, and cupcake earrings. That's right, earrings that are also cupcakes. Awesome.

I also just upped one of my "Jobs I would totally like to do" up to something I'd REALLY like to do...today I went and "consulted" with Amy about her wedding makeup, and it was SO MUCH FUN! Basically, at the army PX the Clinique counter is really relaxed ( actually all the make up counters are ) and the lady there let me take over her make up and I got to just GO WILD with Amy...it was such fun!!! And I've decided that being a make-up lady would be the best job-except after talking to said makeup lady I found out some important factors:
#1 Make up ladies at military posts are better than make up ladies at department stores BECAUSE they DONT work on commission.
#2 I'd totally have to start wearing make up.
#3 these jobs are highly sought after and are easily transferable ( which would be good).

So, now I'm praying that if God will let me be a make-up lady, that he'll open up a spot for me in Kansas...

*sigh* But, I'll try not to get my hopes up.

In other news, I must cut this post short because my feet are FREEZING ( FYI: who ever said washington summers were great, failed to mention that they arent summers at all...its SO COLD! BOOOOOO!)

Re-alignment

"Every good and perfect gift is from the Lord..."

I think so often as Christians we get really, really confused. For whatever reason we start re-writing these kind of verses and make them more like this, "Every good and perfect gift is coming my way, because I am the Lord's"

Negatory, my dear friends. *Negatory. *A word that does not exist but really should, since I use it all the time in everyday speech.

In this day in age the Westernized World ( especially here in the States) is pretty darn sure they deserve success, they deserve happiness, freedom and justice...and even more so, as Christians we start thinking since we're a bunch of people that pray ( and therefore have an "in" with the Big Guy) that we're also going to get all of the things we've ever wanted... in a timely fashion-no less.
But, lately I am starting to realize ( not only that this is far from true, or even what the Bible promises us...) but also what a great blessing DIFFICULTIES are!

I never would have thought that after less than a year in Washington, and after about one year of marriage, Brett and I will be facing some really Heavy stuff. Yet, even now-while I'm still only facing the beginnings of this challenge-I am starting to see that this is God's real plan for my life.

How ELSE would I learn to rely on Him every single day? How ELSE would I learn the importance of prayer, the importance of reading His Word? How ELSE would I be able to give encouragement to those who are going through similar difficulties? How ELSE would I realize just how weak I am, how quick to fail? How ELSE would I see, more clearly than ever, that this life that I lead is really not my life at all?

Do you have dreams? Goals? Things you want to do with you life? Neat and tidy plans that you've secretly ( or not so) set out on a timeline and "given to God" so that He'll bring them to pass and one day you'll be able to "Praise Him" by giving a testimony that basically says "God gave me everything I ever wanted, and more?" Well, unfortunately, you're going to be surprised to find that the Story that God has waiting for your life will be far different from the plans and dreams you have now. More likely than not, if you are truly seeking Him and wanting His way in your life and not your own-than things will turn out far differently than your original dream....

It'll be better.

Better not because you'll be rich, famous, free, successful, or any other of the things...but because you'll slowly have the REAL promises of God made real in your life...the promises about being "transformed into the same image from glory to glory, just as from the Lord, the Spirit."

happy.

Good things about today:

-The THREE shot coffee I made for myself this morning
-CT results that show I have no kidney stones ( check that option off the list!)
-Holding a happy baby ( while she chewed on a straw) for 20 minutes while at work today :-)
- Meeting up with Cindy and talking about the future trials ( some times talking makes me calmer)
-Getting to hear Courtney's testimony and talk to her about sharing tomorrow night. I'm SO excited about what God's going to do through her life.

update...

In an email from Brett today about Kansas:

I found out today that I'll really only have Sunday's off from training instead of the whole weekend. =( And it sounds like the very best you can hope for is around 1900 being off during the week, and then other nights are spent training into whatever hour of the night. I don't know what the ratio of those days are to the 1900 days.

Just when I was starting to think it couldn't really get worse.

rain on the parade.

This morning I woke up to rain on the roof...which is such a, "Just stay in bed" kind of sound!! You'd never know it was "summer"...its, like 60 degrees outside right now! BOO! I'm wearing long sleeves and a sweater. Which is why I've been researching tropical destinations all morning.

Last night Brett got home at 6pm and then he worked until 10pm at the dining room table. Poor guy, he's going out into the field for two weeks and yet has to work evenings up until he leaves! I watched the Transporter while he worked and he's stop working to watch the "good fight scenes"

I'm hoping to meet up with Courtney this afternoon, she just got back from visiting her family in Texas this morning so maybe just maybe the REAL summer weather rubbed off on her! I'm also going to help her go over her testimony for Bible Study on Thursday...I'm really excited about bible study this week since it'll be the first time I've had all the girls together in one big group since we started up the new "small groups" thing so I am looking forward to seeing how its all going and giving my "pep talk" for next months study ;-) hehehe...

I'm also starting to see the light about the whole "move to Kansas" thing...I spent most of the morning on Craigs list looking at want ads-and then I got an email from Brett saying a friend of his from college is from that area as well and she might have some connections too! I know that this is going to work out somehow, now I'm just REALLY excited to see how!!

I started to tell more of my customers at the coffee shop that I'm leaving. One of them told me that he's an amateur painter and that he wants to give me one of his pieces as a going away gift. How cool is that? *sigh* I'm going to be SO sad to leave all my little old people....who will take care of them when I'm gone?! Thank GOODNESS I'm giving my shift to Amy, at least I know she'll appreciate my regulars and take care of them like they deserve.

abundantly

It probably won't get easier-yet anyway. But, that hasn't stopped Help from already coming...today I have been showered by encouragement. I almost feel guilty that I've been blessed so. Your emails, your prayers, your messages....wow.


Lead on, O King eternal,
we follow, not with fears,
for gladness breaks like morning
where'er thy face appears.
Thy cross is lifted o'er us,
we journey in its light;
the crown awaits the conquest;
lead on, O God of might.


Blessed is she who believed, for there will be a fulfillment of those things which were told her by God.-Luke 1:45

For this is what the LORD says:
"I will extend peace to her like a river,
and the wealth of nations like a flooding stream;
you will nurse and be carried on her arm
and dandled on her knees.

As a mother comforts her child,
so will I comfort you;
and you will be comforted over Jerusalem."

When you see this, your heart will rejoice
and you will flourish like grass;
the hand of the LORD will be made known to his servants,
but his fury will be shown to his foes. Is 66:12-14

Painful perspective

I was awakened many times last night in pain. Gotta love the beautiful timing of this endometrosis /kidney stone thing...( I think its possible its stress related.)
And during prayer time this morning ( at 4:30 no less) I was feeling pretty much awful. totally and completely helpless. Life. Its sooo hard.

But, then again this is good, right? No more of me trying to do things in my own strength. I quite literally, CAN'T. Today I went and got another Cat Scan of my abdomen. And then I went to the grocery store. And then I wanted to cry.

Everything is so tiring.

Anyway, now I'm at work and I'm trying to check things off my to-do list.

You see, I really do have the best husband in the world. Last night when I was feeling particularly low he helped me make a to-do list of all the things we need to accomplish in the next three months...making that list quite literally made me feel calmer. Probably because it gave me the sense of control, which we all know is not even true. *sigh* I have so much growing to do. I want so badly to be able to handle all of this better. I want to be calmer, kinder.

But WAIT! There's more!

It’s what I like to call the lesser of two evils. On the one hand my head is splitting. We’re talking blurred vision the whole shebang. But on the other hand when I put the little mask on to block out the sun and I laid in bed trying to get back to sleep…the pain that the thoughts going on in my brain were producing was almost more impairing then the headache. Thus I blog…

So, I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but today marks the day that I am suppose to get back on the “We’re moving and there is nothing we can do about it.” Bandwagon and begin the planning and decision making process again but this time a lot calmer and better prepared…Of course, such an occasion couldn’t go unnoticed and so of course Brett delivered yet another informational blow yesterday afternoon to celebrate. ( It should be noted he did not do it on purpose, but I’ve just noticed that these things seem to always coincided with a day where I’ve made such grandiose statements as this one:

To Carmi on the phone: “ I really think I’ve grown, I’m much calmer…I think I’m handling all this better than I’ve dealt with past changes, I think I’m relying on God a lot more…”

Anyway, so Brett tells me in the car on the way to a Mariners Baseball game ( it was the first time we’d been able to talk all day…I promise the bad timing couldn’t be helped…in fact, it’ll probably just make the tv movie of our lives more entertaining.) that he’d found out that the army has made his new orders in such a way that they’re actually making his new permanent orders station Kuwait, Afghanistan and his TEMPARARY duty station Fort Riley , Kansas…what does all this mean, you ask? Wellllll, basically it just means that THIS way they can dispose of those pesky things called families ( i.e. me) and when Brett reports to Riley, he’ll also be reporting to a nice little barracks room to be shared with some other dude. Afterall, its not like it “permanent”. So, this basically means that my choices in moving to Kansas are now very bleak indeed. #1. I’ll have to find some temporary place to live. By myself. In the hopes of seeing Brett on weekends and possibly for a few hours in the evenings ( but we all know how likely that is.) #2 Thus I probably wont get to see Brett very much. #3 I can’t think of a number three right now. My head hurts.

Thus the nice sounding “Brett’s only going to be deployed for 12 months” shows its true colors that most likely I will be without my husband for SIXTEEN. But, with four months of those disguising themselves behind the guise of “training in Riley”. To be perfectly honest with you-it’s one of my worst nightmares….its my number one lesson I’d want to tell newly married army wives about…the fact, that even when you’re supposedly getting time with your husband-he’s still not really YOURS. Looking back the first two ( or three) months of our marriage were the worst because I kept forgetting this fact, I kept being surprised and upset every time Brett wouldn’t get home from work until 10 + at night, or when he’d be gone for two weeks at a time, or called into work on a Saturday…whatever the case I was always indignant…how could they SAY that what was happening to us was the BEST case scenario?! But, here we are again…and this time I see the future flashing before my eyes…me in Kansas without a job or any friends or roots….living basically for the moments I get to spend with my husband who’s about to go off to war for a year…and therefore when I find out at the last minute that he’ll be working late ( which will definitely happen) or that he’s working on a Saturday ( most likely) or that they’re doing some training off somewhere for a week ( I would bet on it.)…I will have even LESS to fall back on than I did here in Washington. No job. No friends. No ministry work. Nada.

I suppose you could say that we’ve stepped it up a notch. The question is: can I rely on Christ, trust Him, rely on Him, be calm …all these things in ALL circumstances?!

Of course, right now every thing is bleak. But, I am looking forward to seeing how God sorts out the plot line of this episode of All my Children ( the Brett and Abigail version)….will I find some nice family or old people to live with in Kansas while I’m waiting around for Brett ? Will we be able to sort out different living arrangements on Fort Riley? Will I wake up and find out that I’m really Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz and its all a dream? Whatever the case, there is SO much material for God to work with here that is pretty much brilliant-He’s going to be glorified some how….I look forward to seeing the end results.

other things to talk about.

so, i could totally tell you more about my sickly woes. but, they're annoying and there isnt too much I know for sure...so instead we'll talk about more interesting things like the weird dream I had last night:

It seems Brett and I decided to throw a second wedding, I kept getting lost, I was really hot, my wedding dress didnt fit, all the bridesmaids left without telling me to go buy ugly clashing red bowling bags, Emma's face swelled up because she was nervous and so I was afraid she wasnt going to walk down the aisle, everyone walked down the wrong aisle ( it was one of those three aisled churches) and then I couldnt seem to stand next to Brett....

it was weird.


In other news today I'm making muffins...chocolate muffins....with chili pepper in them. I'm excited. I'm also excited about the muffins Amy is making ( same basic muffin, different added ingredient) and I'm pretty sure the added espresso is going to be better than the chili...but whatever, its not a competition...or IS it? ;-)

I am also hopefully talking to Lydia today-especially since we havent talked since she visited MONTHS ago and since she's most likely moving to Seattle next year and so there's tons to talk about :-)

I'm also going to hopefully take care of the Stroud kids this afternoon before bible study since its Andrew's birthday today and I figure they deserve a grownup meal with some friends of theirs who are coming into town, without having four children to worry about the whole time.

Right now I'm drinking a reeeeeally yummy latte. I'm going to be so sad when I can't make myself a free drink every day. *sigh* this job has really been so great. I am thinking about researching home espresso machines with the steam wand and everything...it would definitely be a fun thing to have in my house! I could make people anything they wanted! I think it would definitely add to the "house ministry" ;-) hehehe...I know I'd feel more welcome in my house if I could order a double tall latte.

Fragile: Handle with Care

So, sometimes I really, really hate myself. And before you get all bent out of shape over that statement...let me explain. Today I woke up with this familiar twinge in my side...not the "Im-going-to-die-unless-I-get-serious-drugs-soon" kinda pain...but the definite Not-Happy kind...the kind that I'd been feeling for about a week leading up to the kidney stone incident. To say the least, I was not having a good morning-but THEN....

I'm standing at work, about to text brett a reminder about a task I needed him to do for me ( call the bank please!) and as I'm holding my phone, it rings...

Me: "Hello?"
Person: "Hi! This is Doctor Russian Name, I am a Urologist here at Madigan and I'm calling in regards to your visit to the emergency room several weeks ago. How is your kidney stone?"
Me: "Funny you should call, because actually while my right side seems to be back to normal, my LEFT side is feeling kind of suspect today!"
Doctor Russian Name: Oh, that's because you have a stone on that side too...

THANKS FOR MENTIONING THAT TO ME EARLIER!!!!!


But, at least i know I'm not a making it up-which some times I worry that I am. ( you never know...crazy people never know they are crazy, right?)

And isnt it all good of God to have the nice russian doctor call me today? I feel much better now that I'm going to have another CT taken....until then I'm back on the tried and true Abigail Lifestyle of drinking water and peeing.

It's been ages...

It has been SUCH a long time since I've been tagged on one of these things...but fabulously enough it DOES happen every so often! ;-) ( Thanks Angela!)

1. The rules of the game get posted at the beginning.
2. Each player answers the questions about themselves.
3. At the end of the post, the player then tags five people and posts their names, then goes to their blogs and leaves them a comment, letting them know they’ve been tagged and asking them to read the player’s blog.
4. Let the person who tagged you know when you’ve posted your answer.

WHAT WERE YOU DOING 5 YEARS AGO:
1. Finishing up another semester at the University of Otago... procrastinating from writing essays to be exact.
2. Watching a friend find Jesus Christ for the first time. ( Thida is coming up on being five year old very soon!!)
3. Getting ready for my friend Amy to come visit me for my mid-year break.
4. Travelled around New Zealand with my family, showing the country I'd grown to love.

FIVE THINGS ON YOUR TO-DO LIST TODAY? (Since I'm about to go to bed...I'll do this for tomorrow)
1. Hang out with Courtney
2. Go for a run.
3. Work at the coffee shop, of course.
4. Send in our last car payment EVER! ( YAAAAAAY!!!)
5. Hang out with Brett

FIVE SNACKS YOU ENJOY?:
1. Multigrain cheerios
2. Sour gummy worms
3. Strawberries and heavenly cream dip
4. Baked Lays BBQ chips
5. Pickles from work ( don't laugh until you've had one!)

FIVE THINGS YOU WOULD DO IF YOU WERE A BILLIONAIRE:
1. Give lots of presents to deserving friends :-)
2. Tithe
3. Buy a house
4. Travel
5. Save for the future.

FIVE OF YOUR BAD HABITS?:
1. I bite my nails.
2. I don't punctuate or edit my blog well.
3. Procrastination, especially with cleaning bathrooms and vacuuming.
4. eating too much.
5. Saying too much.

FIVE PLACES WHERE YOU'VE LIVED:
1. Nacogdoches Texas: With my parents
2. Dunedin, New Zealand: University College
3. Dunedin, New Zealand: Carrington Hall
4. Nacogdoches Texas: With Katie, all by myself
5. Lakewood, Washington: With Brett

FIVE JOBS YOU'VE HAD:
1. Waitress at Pinecreek Lodge
2. Resident Assistant ( House Tutor) at Carrington Hall
3. Radiology Assistant for Anchor Radiology
4. PR for Nacogdoches High School Alumni Association
5. Barista for Lacoste Coffee


TAG YOU'RE IT!:
Let's see....hardly anyone blogs anymore these days :-(

Carmi: My dearest friend who I admire so much, laugh with so much, and wish to see so much...

Amy: Whom I have loved getting to know the past few months and who I can truly call a kindred spirit in so many ways...

Paul: Who apparently only weights 138 pounds, and yet whom I am still friends with...

Thida: Because I just thought about her while reading my blog from 2003!

Sam: Because I just remembered his birthday is coming up very soon! ( and I doubt he even reads this anymore.)

The big bang theory.

So, the four day weekend started out with silence. Utter silence. Very rarely am I left completely without words-usually I'm pretty quick when it comes to encouraging words ( and if that doesnt work I make inappropriate jokes) but when Brett came home with despair in his voice telling me that his platoon was being taken away from him as early as next week ( instead of what he had hoped for which was that he'd get to keep it until we actually left). I honestly had no words. Although, I'm pretty sure there arent words that can help sad moments like that. Just hugs.

Anyway, as I sit here watching Brett play the Wii...I think he's doing better...I think its hard for people to really understand just how much Brett loved(s) his men in his platoon....but I know that God has more people for him to affect, more people for him to meet and to be a part of their lives...its just hard right now.

Lucky we did have this long weekend, though. It came at just the right time. We had some nice weather which meant picnics and long walks and a visit to the drive-in theatre ( totally cool by the way....too bad its 9:45 before it even BEGINS to get dark in Washington...it means to see any movie you have to stay up past the wilson bedtime.)...we also bought New Zealand Ginger Beer ( no alcohol in these!) and made Dark and Stormies ( but there is in these!)...I made a pie and we had Indian food with friends, Sushi with other friends and I gained another three pounds.... awesome( three real awesomes and one sarcastic one). We also took a trip to the Brett and Abigail place-of-happiness which is Half Price Books ( which was having its 20 % off everything Memorial Day sale..). I think it would have been possible for the two of us to have married people that DIDNT like books as much as we do, but its a DEFINITE plus!

Sneaky

Memorial Day weekend has officially snuck up on me. Which, I think, is probably a good thing-otherwise I would have made lots of plans for the weekend and it would end up not being that relaxing....and relaxing is what Brett really needs right now.

Four days that are unplanned....why! That's just glorious!


The other thing that is sneaking up on me is June. Time is just flying by these days....I'm just grasping at it as it slips through my fingers-I just hope we're living it up like we should. *sigh*

Turns out I'm not as talkative as I thought...

exhausted

So, I just got home...and I've flopped down here to check my email ( for the first time today!? SHOCKING!!!) because, lets face it, my legs are TIRED and my brain is TIRED and its been QUITE the day....

First of all, I broke up with my boss. Its so hard to break up with someone-even if it IS because of the Army, " Its not you...its not me...its the ARMY!" ...Anyway, I've been putting off telling my boss about Brett and I leaving because ( or at least I thought) I wanted to make sure we had some solid info to go on, and because I wanted to tell him to his face...but then, time passed and I never crossed paths with him, and Brett got his orders yesterday and so today I picked up the phone and called him...I talked fast...AlexIhatetotellyoubutBrettsbeensenttoKansaswe'releavinginJulyI'msosorrymaybeI'llcomeback....Anyway, it was awful. So awful, in fact, that at the end-when he was able to get a word in edgewise-he was like, "well you got that out of the way!" as if He could absolutely tell that I was NOT happy about telling him about leaving.
Because I'm not.
And it turns out I had put off telling my boss not for all those "practical" reasons but because, In the end, it made it very very real that this season of my life-the Barista at Lacoste-season is going to be over. Very sad. I really wanted to watch chick-flicks and eat brownie batter and ice-cream out of the container right afterwards...

Today, I went to the Air force base commissary....and now I'm totally kicking myself that I had not gone sooner! For one thing its waaaay closer ( and when gas hits 4 dollars like it did today...that's important) and for another thing-I havent done ANY research on this-but I think the AF pays a LOT more attention to its "dependents"....Their commissary had GIANT aisle, it had frozen ravioli, it had buttermilk and half and half ( for some reason they are always out at Army) it had an EVEN larger foreign foods section, it had a HUGE fresh sea foods section, and at the ( high traffic at the army commissary) time of 4:30 it was hardly full at all....in fact, it was a DREAM. So, yeah, from now on I'm ALL OVER the air force. Oh, and I also went to their PX...and it was like being in a super wal-mart with less people in it and even cheaper prices ( oh, and no tax)...it was glorious.

... I just got a call from Brett and he's on the way home....so I really SHOULD pull myself out of this sitting position and make dinner.....Chuck's coming over for dinner so I don't think leftovers are going to cut it tonight. ;-)

The Life and Times:

I havent written in a few days so I felt like you deserved an update ( I'm sure not knowing what's going on with me has just been KILLING you!)

Saturday ( which was the last day I wrote) turned out MUCH better than my morning blog post could have ever imagined: It was BEAUTIFUL outside, I baked a pie in the morning, had a picnic in the midafternoon with Brett ( he finally got back from work) and Mike and Katie, saw Prince Caspian in the late afternoon and went to Eric's going away party in the evening...all were made extra glorious by the fact that I was totally warm the whole time. :-)

Sunday there was church and a very long wait at a random Soul Food restaurant called Southern Kitchen in Tacoma-where I decided once and for all that my tummy doesnt like greasy food ( this includes anything from a fastfood chain other than Sonic, mexican food, and anything from a Breakfast place like IHOP or Dennys ) I mean, dont get me wrong I definitely eat these bad foods anyway...my tummy will just be mad later.

Actually, my tummy is mad right now-although I have no idea why....I made A-MAZING greek chicken last night which I ate over fresh spinach and Brett ate over pasta...I WOULD think that the five hours that the chicken cooked wasnt enough...but Brett's tummy didnt hurt...so meh. Who knows?! I'm probably just due for a new sickness....

But here's some exciting news that's not revolving around my health or lack thereof: An old friend of Brett and mine, Dustin Aguilar has published a children's book! "Harvard Heart of Gold" arrived yesterday in the mail and I've read the first two chapters which were totally delightful :-) It was also delightful that I was at work and the mail lady came in to deliver the mail and said, "Oh! I have a package for you too, should I just give it to you now?!"

There is something really nice about living in a community where your mail lady knows who you are and gives you packages even when you arent at home...

just another day...

So, last night I cancelled all plans and made Brett go to bed really early. He's been sick for the past two days but is refusing to take it as easy as I would like-so I figured "weekend=my chance to MAKE HIM get better".....annnnnyway, at 8am this morning he starts yelling and scrambling around because apparently he'd missed several phonecalls telling him to report to work at 8am this morning because of....who knows what.

He said he could be there all day. I still have no idea what any of this means.

So much for Saturday being MY chance to be controlling over Brett's life....the army already called dibs on the whole thing :-P

And to think I cancelled the CHEESE FESTIVAL for me to sit around in my PJs....and Brett to be at work! BOO!

And then God said, "LISTEN! FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE!!!"

So, as I said yesterday I’d given off trying to read into things, or figure out what God wants us to do regarding moving until I’ve spent just a leeedle more time praying about it and reading the Bible with this move in mind. Afterall, the bad mood I got into every time I started to imagine staying in Washington, or imagine moving to Kansas long term…or anything else daydreaming style…it all kind of clued me in on the fact that I was doing the WRONG. THING. Of course, I then read this* during my quiet time this afternoon and I was like, YEEEEEAH….sounds about right. Why don’t I stop and listen more often?! Why is this lesson so hard to learn?!

*Isaiah 30-“Woe to the rebellious children, declares the Lord, who executes a plan, but not Mine, and makes alliances, but not of my Spirit…who proceeds down to Egypt without consulting me…(9)For this is a rebellious people, false sons, sons who refuse to listen to the instruction of the Lord…(15) “In repentance and rest you will be saved. In quietness and trust is your strength.” ( 19) He will surely be gracious to you at the sound of your cries, when He hears it, He will answer you….(20) Your eyes will behold your Teacher..(21) your ears will hear a word behind you, “This is the way, walk in it; whenever you turn to the right or to the left.”

Positive things:

1. my new invented drink: The Snickerdoodle ( it basically tastes like the drink version of these cookies).

2. This website that gives you a breakdown in CHART FORM (!!) of all the nutrition facts you eat in a day!

3. Prince Caspian comes out in the theaters this weekend!!!

4. I am going to Seattle's Cheese Festival on Saturday.

5. Its suppose to be 84 degrees in Seattle on Saturday!

6. Next weekend is Memorial Day weekend and I want Brett to take me to this Drive-in Movie Theatre...

7. I've decided that Brett and I do not have to decide about our futures until May 31st ( that'll give me another few days with him after that-before he leaves for the field just in case there are things that HE has to do to make preparations ( whatever they are) and then it'll give me three weeks while he's gone to get things ready. I'm really glad I just made this deadline for myself because A) I like structure. B) It was stressing me out. C) Procrastination is my middle name.

8. We went and watched the Stroud kids play baseball and T-ball ( respectively) last night...it was awesome and a great flashback to my own childhood of watching little league games ( minus the sweltering heat and sweat that Texas Little League has)

9. Brett and I watched ( Chuck was there too but he fell asleep almost immediately) Lady and the Tramp last night. ALWAYS a classic! ALWAYS.

10. Season 5 of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Awesome.

Big Fat BOO!

I'm not in a pleasant mood. Maybe its the fact that its in the 50s and cloudy and the weather told me that it was going to be in the HIGH 70s and kinda sunny. OR maybe its the fact that I am trying to start to figure out Brett and my future and yet I still have NO IDEA what that means exactly...

I am tired of not knowing.

Happy blog later.

mythical person

I need a person. You know, someone who knows everything about everything? I'd totally ask them all my questions...all those army questions that I have no idea who to ask...things like...

How do you get reimbursed for moving?
What's temporary living in Kansas like? How do we get it?
How do I get storage here in Washington?
Will they pay to move my stuff later when we move again when Brett gets back?

I have other questions too....

Anyway, I'm trying to look things up on the internet because there should SO be a website with these answers...but WHERE?!

Boo.

In other news, I'm getting my nails done with Genevieve and Amy today ( Yay!)- Genevieve's hubby comes home from Afghanistan tomorrow so we're making sure her day is full to the brim today ( oh, and that she has pretty nails)...

terrible.

I'm horribly selfish....today was my mother's birthday as well as mother's day...and yet it is ME that is the one that is practically in tears that I didnt get to talk to her. I mean, come on. As long as SHE'S happy I should be ok, right?
geez. get over yourself, abigail

Ruby Slippers and other stuff...

Happy Mother's Day!! Today there were TONS of babies at church...mostly because there was a Baby dedication at the end of the service but also because our church has, like, a huge population of young couples with tons of babies....its basically like baby kingdom. I often sit in church and look at the babies in front of me ( looking at me over their parent/grandparent shoulder and I think, "Wow, arent they the cutest thing?!"

But then reality sets in and I remember why I am not having a child any time soon....for one thing I'd like to be pregnant during a time when I have a husband around to rub my feet and go get ice-cream whenever ( I'm sure he'd do this now...he's quite the fan of icecream) and not off trampsing around Afghanistan....among other reasons. ;-)

Anyway, I am however very happy that I know so many wonderful mothers who inspire me and encourage me on a daily basis...and I'm ALSO very happy to know many women who have given their lives in other ways other than motherhood-their encouragement, wisdom as well as courage has also inspired me. Basically, girl power all around :-)

In other news, its sunny today...and I'm hoping upon hope that the forecast for this coming Thursday that read High: 87...was NOT a misprint. ( whoa! How awesome and happy would that make life?!)

I'm also glad we got to spend some time with Chuck and Bethany this weekend, sometimes it just is too awful to think that life is going to change and not have these people around us all the time. But, I'm starting to see the importance of having a "spiritual heads up" when it comes to bad things....its definitely making me appreciate the calm before the storm all the more.

12 hours ago....

Actually, more like 13... but at 6 am-ish I woke up with this horrible cramp in my side...and I was like, "Ow." and then I said, "Oh No." out loud. To which Brett said, "What's wrong?" ( In a fog of sleep) to which I replied...

"I think I have a kidney stone."


After that, Brett went back to sleep for like a whole minute while I laid there writhing in pain until I finally went ahead and admitted to myself that, yes, this really was happening again ( last count this was my fourth trip to the emergency room for a kidney stone) ...and so I woke Brett up again and told him that Kidney Stones required Emergency Room Time...( which he informed me just now he didnt quite understand...)

Which is how I spent most of the day drugged, half of the day on a gurney the other half in my bed...but I'm pretty sure the Kidney Stone is gone...which is the one "good" thing about those pesky stones is they can leave relatively quickly.

Anyway, it wasnt the best day ever. I missed a girlie breakfast with some friends....oh yeah, and the pain thing too.

BLAH! I have the worst luck.

Pride, or something

This week is some sort of special "week" at Fort Lewis, basically lots of competitions and showing off of skills-its made for some crazy schedules for everyone. And today *I* get to go for a BBQ at Brett's company. So I'm trying to put on my "pretty wife face"...but I just had a customer tell me that I looked "tired" so I'm thinking the two seconds I took to put on mascara was a total waste. Blah.
It's also cold so I need more clothes if I'm going to be all "picnic-y" this afternoon...

In other news, I thought I'd remind you of the important issues at hand-especially since time is very quickly going by and soon time will be up...I'm starting to get a clearer mind of what's coming in the next six months or so...basically it came from something lydia said to me while she was visiting and I feel like it was very wise:

"I think whatever job you decide to do while Brett's gone-you should make sure it contributes to your overall goals for your life. For instance, your job as a barista has taught you more about being hospitable and serving which will further contribute to you and Brett's desire to have a home that is open to people that you can minister to..."

Anyway, I've taken this piece of advice one step further and using it in helping me decide where to live-and I'm getting kind of excited about a few prospects for next year....there are definitely some things I could do that might just help ME to get better prepared for our future-things that I feel Brett has already experienced to some degree....Anyway, I know I'm being cryptic-but we're still in the praying stage, but I just wanted to share the fact that I feel encouraged that the heaven's have not been as silent and shut as I thought they might be ;-) show's my little faith doesnt it?! hehehe

Somebody shoot me. I dont feel good....But, I'm thinking my flintstone vitamins have been working-since its definitely been at LEAST a month since I've been to the doctor. :-P


In other news, I think it is only natural that I leave washington soon...I mean, afterall my last year in New Zealand I had to have a social calendar around my neck to keep track of my "coffee" dates...and then when I left Texas the second time it was quite similar...and this week I've got FIVE girl dates. sweet. But apparently too good to last. Looks like its time for me to head back into "I've got no friends" category. Although, Brett reminded me this morning during our prayer time how just a few months ago we were praying for God to give me some good girl friends so God HAS answered prayers and I'm sure he'll do it again. :-)

Went and saw Iron Man last night-Totally fun, enjoyed it completely. Recommend it for everyone. And I've got to say after a good 9 years of the Comic Book Movie Craze, I'm still on board.

Answer!

So, my last blog contained non-sentences that described my weekend. That's right, when my life is that busy and I pretty much find myself on my feet for two of the three days I dont have much energy left to write cohesively about it. But, it was a fun time...and i've got pictures waiting on my camera to prove it.

Anyway, as I made out my weekday planner ( as I compulsively do every monday-along with going through the Sunday paper for coupons..WOOOO! Exciting!!!!) I found that my week is oddly relaxed. Strange. This can only mean that it'll end up being crazy, busy.

Yesterday I started to ponder my fears of being "not needed"-which coincidentally is my biggest fear about 2009. This morning I laid in bed from 5:30 to 6:30 getting more and more frightened about the unknown. But, before you start judging me, I'd like to say that I don't care if you do judge me. I dont care if you think you'd handle things so much better than me, or that you'd be a whole lot more thoughtful and reflective and you'd never make inappropriate jokes to get yourself through...well, that's fine. Last night I had the privilege of speaking with the author of The Insider, Mike Shamy ( who is incidentally from New Zealand...which I didnt know until he opened his mouth! Crazy small world!) and one of the things he said really struck me. He was talking about being authentic and honest and that while its important to remember how your words will affect others-its also important to tell your own story-with complete honesty. For the story of our lives is what God has given us-that is our personal witness.

Well folks, I'd like to just go ahead and remind you that that is how I feel about my blog. I will be honest with you-no matter how un-pretty it may seem...because lets face it-life isnt particularly pretty and my walk with Christ is not a one-way street that's paved twice a month and only driven on by laid back sunday-drivers...no, not at all. The thing is, I have the sneaking suspicion that if you're honest with yourself you'll see that your life is pretty crazy too, and while you may not be going through exactly what I'm going through and you ( hopefully) never will...I would like to be an encouragement to you-and if that just means that you think to yourself, "I just want to be better than Abigail."
Than my job here is done.

Annnnyway, so back to my fear of being "unneed"...this is something I had not identified as one of my major failings until this weekend ( or maybe I should say it's been "brought back up" ) so once again...I'm a work in progress. *sigh*

See if you can guess....

Visits to several stores, lots of cooking, cleaning the house, Hawaiian costumes, one awful conversation, a mystery party, me as a murderer, Charlie as a girl, a sleep-in from heaven, Oceans Thirteen, Cupcakes, dips, cinnamon pinwheels, two visits to Albertsons, eggrolls and Thai chicken, decorating, a lingerie party that included a towel and The one where Ross say's Rachel's name, a road trip with no wedding ring, a visit to tulips with the best of friends, a blast from New Zealand and a side of encouragement, talk of the future, talk of movies starting with the letters G, H and I, too much food and laughing till one cries

Thanks George!

Dear Bush Administration,
I'd like to thank you for the United States failing economy, and your decision to boast said economy by putting $1,200 extra dollars into our bank account today. I can't tell you how exciting it is that I can pay off our car loan this summer all because of you ( yeah right) and therefore be totally debt free. I appreciate the fact that I can consider the idea of voting for president in November 2008 and then promptly leave the country and live like a vagabond ( option #47 on the "Live without Brett" list ) without any desire to "boast" the American economy while my husband is off doing a heck of a lot more for our nation than $1,200 could ever do. So thanks again.

Not Yours,
Abigail

where in the world?!

Today is my day off...and I've got a long long list of things to do before the day is up-After all, a weekend of partying takes work!
Anyway, its 10:21 and I'm sitting in my New Zealand hoodie and yoga pants reading blogs-house still dirty, food not prepared, gym unattended, goodwill yet to be visited.

Ah well, what can you do?! Its been a loooonnnnnng mental roller-coaster of a week and I needed that extra four hours of sleep.

In other news, on Wednesday night I had a breakdown of sorts over my bible study, heck over the entire "girls ministry" that I am affectively in charge of ( "should abigail be given such great responsibility?! Abigail thinks not...") The freak out, I still feel, was completely warranted since I felt like everyone and there dogs were unhappy with my "leadership" or whatever you want to call it....so I cried over the box of pizza sitting in my lap ( the one and only problem with Little Caesars is they do not deliver) while Brett spoke encouraging words ( and probably true ones) at my unwilling-to-hear ears and then I prayed for the whole day following. In fact, I prayed so hard, and I was so worried about it- that poor Amy was forced to work with an Abigail Zombie all day on Thursday. ( mental note: The next time I want to have a "Day with God"-do it on your day off.)
But, I dont think I have to tell you that God came through and while I still dont feel like anyone should ever put me in charge of anyone, I am a hundred and fifty percent ready to try my hand at Girl Leading. Of course, on the outside it probably doesn't look any different from the day before-but I suppose one needs to have a good "I cant do this" breakdown so that God can really and truly take the reins.
Of course, I'm still a bit in wonderment about why I'd have such a breakdown in the middle of the much larger issues of the day that are still entitled "What will Abigail do while Brett is deployed?!"
I suppose God felt like two major stresses was better than one.

Luckily, last night's bible study might has well have been a speech directed entirely at me-it was that relevant to my decision making process...So I am currently thinking hard of a million different possibilities for the future, I have stopped waiting for God to send me a post-it note from heaven ( although, that would be SO helpful!) and I've started just waiting for Peace of heart.

And I'd just like to note that I should be pretty darn good at this by now, since I have faced the Unknown Decision Time in 2002, 2004 and 2007 and so you'd think doing it in 2008 would be sooooOoooOo easy. But, I'm a slow learner. And that just means my book entitled "Where in the World is Abigail Wilson?!" is going to sell millions.